February 2011 – 15 years old

The week before Valentine’s Day Taeyong and I got into our first major fight. Up until then we’d never really had any fights just the occasional disagreement here and there. Usually those were resolved quickly and led to hugs and kisses. But this was no disagreement and it was partially my fault for blowing something out of proportion when I didn’t really know the truth.

“So we’re all still going to be spending the night at my house this weekend,” Mark said as we walked down the hallway to the cafeteria. “My mom said we could order tons of fried chicken. It’s going to be awesome.” I nodded as he suggested which movies to watch. I wanted to watch scary movies, as did Jaehyun and Johnny.

We passed one of the empty classrooms hearing some laughter inside of it. Mark pointed into the classroom with a confused expression. I peaked into the room seeing Taeyong and some guy in the other class for our grade, Kim Hanbin known for being a huge flirt to anyone he talked to.

“What’re they talking about?” I asked as Mark and I continued to peak inside the classroom window. Mark shrugged but widened his eyes when Hanbin leaned over wrapping his arm around Taeyong. And Taeyong didn’t seem to be moving away. I felt my face growing hot with jealously.

I wasn’t the jealous type but seeing Hanbin who thought he was hot stuff with his arm around Taeyong made me upset. Since when were the two of them so close? No one ever saw the two of them together.

“They seem awfully close,” Mark said as we continued to watch the two of them. “I wish we knew what they were saying? Why hasn’t Taeyong moved away from him yet?” Taeyong and Hanbin busted into laughter again as Hanbin leaned his head on Taeyong’s shoulder from all the laughter.

“Hey guys what’s taking you so long?” Jaehyun asked. We turned around before showing him what was going on inside of the classroom. “Oh.” The three of us watched for a few more seconds not sure what to do. “Should we go inside?”

“No,” I said shaking my head. “It’s probably nothing.” Nothing my because as soon as I said that the two of them start hugging each other. Mark crossed his arms as I pushed the door open with Jaehyun and Mark following close behind me. Taeyong widened his eyes before pulling away from Hanbin.

“That’s my queue to go,” Hanbin said standing up. He shot me an arrogant smirk before pushing past me out of the classroom. “Bye Taeyong.” Once he was gone Taeyong stood up from his seat. He opened his mouth clearly to explain but I wasn’t in the mood to hear what he had to say.

“Hanbin of all people?” I asked crossing my arms. “I didn’t know the two of you were so close to each other Taeyong.” Taeyong raised his hand to try and interject but I shook my head. “I’m not done talking. If you want to see other people just say it. I’d have way more respect for you if you just told me the truth. There’s nothing worse then someone who’s too coward and has to sneak around behind someone’s back. And you wanted to be with Hanbin of all people. Everyone knows he’s the most unfaithful person in school. And yet you hugged that creep.”

“Daewon that’s not what’s going on,” Taeyong said managing to slip out some words. “Just let me explain please.” He shuffled uncomfortably on his feet as he stuttered with his words.

“Then what the hell was that all about?” I asked. “Clearly you have feelings for him.” That set something off in Taeyong’s head as a spark of fire ignited in his eyes. I was feeling really upset and wasn’t thinking right.

You know when you act out of anger without thinking it through? That was what I was doing and I was probably going to regret it later but I was too annoyed to really care. Taeyong crossed his arms as I just rolled my eyes at him.

“The fact that you’re assuming something is going on is what’s stupid,” Taeyong said glaring at me. “You don’t think I’m committed to you Daewon? I’ve never given you a reason for you to doubt my feelings. Stop being stupid dammit.”

“So I’m stupid? I’m the stupid one? That’s great coming from you Taeyong. You know what be happy with that Hanbin and stay the hell away from your stupid boyfriend.” I pushed past Mark and Jaehyun storming out of the classroom slamming the door behind me.

Outside I saw Hanbin standing by the classroom. He walked over to me with a satisfied smirk on his face like he knew something I didn’t. My blood was hot but as soon as I saw that sick smirk my blood began to boil. The door to the classroom opened and I flipped out.

“Daewon,” Jaehyun said when they left the classroom. I barely heard the rest of what he said because all I saw was red. I felt my hand making a fist before it connected to Hanbin’s nose.

After that I kind of out. All I remember was waking up in the nurse’s office feeling terrible. My nose felt sore and my mouth felt swollen. I sat up on the cot seeing Mark and Jaehyun looking at me.

“What happened?” I asked looking at the two of them. I touched my forehead feeling a bandage wrapped around my head. “Why do I feel so in pain?” They filled me in on all the details. After I’d punched Hanbin he beat me up. My nose was bruised and bloody and my mouth was swollen from the numerous punches he gave me. I had fallen onto the floor which explained the bandage on my forehead. It was Jaehyun and Mark that broke up the fight and Hanbin stormed off.

News of the fight circulated around school and the principal called me into his office to discuss. My parents were called and in the end I was suspended for the rest of the week. I felt embarrassed as they walked me to the car.

“I’m very disappointed in you Daewon,” mom said as we drove to our house. “What were you thinking punching him? You’re grounded for the rest of the month. That’ll give you enough time to think about what you’ve done. Do you want to talk about it?” I just shook my head as we rode the rest of the way in silence.

Taeyong never showed up after I’d been suspended which crushed me. My face was in so much pain and he wasn’t here to spend time with me. I spent most of the week crying my eyes out because of how I’d reacted. My parents didn’t allow any of my friends to come inside, so I was isolated from school. I was never going to fight or get suspended again.

By the looks of it, it looked like I would be spending Valentine’s Day by myself as a newly single person. I cursed myself when Valentine’s Day came and I felt even more terrible. My lip healed prior to the day but I was left with a bad bruise around my nose that wasn’t going to be healing for quite a while.

When I woke up from crying my eyes out I saw Taeyong sitting in my room looking at me. I rubbed my eyes careful not to bump my nose as I sat up in bed. He looked me over as sadness washed over his eyes. He hung his head down letting out a sniffle as he dabbed at his eyes.

“If you’ll let me explain,” Taeyong said still refusing to look at me. “The only reason I was talking to him was because he makes his own music. I’m not great at producing so I went to him to ask him to make a song for me. I was going to create a new song to give you on Valentine’s Day. He charge a decent amount of money which I worked hard for and when we met that day for him to give me the song he said he’d give it to me for free since it was for Valentine’s Day. That’s the only reason why I hugged him and you came in and yeah you know the rest.”

Hearing the truth from Taeyong made me wish I were beaten up even more. I was never going to jump to conclusions if I could help it. I hung my head down as I burst into tears. Jeez I felt like such a huge idiot for overreacting like this. Taeyong got up from his seat sitting on my bed wrapping his arms around me.

“I’m sorry for flipping out without listening to you,” I said as I cried into his shoulder. He rubbed my back letting out a loud sniffle as he cried too. “And it was sweet of you to be planning that for Valentine’s Day. I ruined everything.”

“You didn’t ruin anything,” Taeyong said quietly. I pulle