Warning: This chapter deals with abuse. Read with caution. 

[Flashback]

Begging.

*CRACK*

Pleading.

*CRACK*

Screaming.

*CRACK*

No matter what my mother tried, it was all pointless at the mercy of the relentless whipping cane.

But even when she stopped, he didn’t.

Not at three.

Not at five

Not even at ten.

I counted by the cane’s roar. I counted by the cuts and bruises scattered over my body. And of course, I counted by the number of times the sharp wood bit into my bare skin, each time stinging more than the last.

My arms were shaking, barely raised in front of my face to block his view of my falling tears. Through the little slit between my forearms I caught a glimpse of his face.

Emotionless.

That’s right… Even despite hitting your own daughter…

Never speak your mind.

Never let your emotions show.

A single tear managed to escape my grasp.

*CRACK*

Never… speak your mind…

Never… let your… emotions show.

It slid off my chin and stained the floor below.

*CRACK*

Twelve. I counted. One for each student that I carelessly allowed to score above me.

[End of Flashback]

*****

A sharp pain clinging to my wrist was enough to pull me back to reality.

A reality where no one could ever find out what happened.

A reality where it still ing hurt!

WHY WON’T IT GO AWAY?!

“LET GO OF ME!” I screamed against my better judgment as I flailed my arm wildly to shake the pain away.

But the grip on me strengthened against my resistance to the point where her hand slid up my arm and pulled away my uniform sleeve exposing the bruises and scars that I tried to keep hidden.

Seconds turned to years as Momo slowly sized up the length of my marked arm. I couldn’t really get a read of what was going through her head, but it definitely wasn’t what I was expecting. Her eyes were wide with awe which was to be suspected, but formed a pout and she seemed like she understood what I was going through...

“Mina-ssi, a-are you okay?” a soft voice called with worry from the front of the classroom.

In a flash my hand had already rolled down the sleeve of my uniform as I reached out to grab Momo’s forearm signaling to keep her discovery private. Once our eyes met, I felt that familiar feeling when it had happened once before, but this time the tables had turned. It was her turn to pity me.

“Y-Yes Teacher Kim. Everything is fine” I sheepishly announced with a bow of my head as Momo and I hurriedly got back in our seats. This was the one time I was thankful for my classmate’s lack of care for me as all the worried and horrified expressions around me dissipated in an instant.

But for some reason I still couldn’t my eyes off her. She didn’t seem to want to break eye contact either. This time, however, was very different. If my eyes weren’t playing cruel tricks on me, I could swear she was mouthing words at me.

You. Me. Outsi–

“So,” Sana had whipped around excitedly in her chair shortly after the commotion, clearly not paying attention to the lesson as usual, “Are you finally going to talk to us again Momo?”

But as if she had reverted right back to her original state, Momo just slammed her head back into her arms in response.

I took a quick look at the desks in the row next to mine just to make sure the message was meant for me. And yet, it had to be. There was no one else in our entire row she could have been mouthing to. How odd. I made a mental note to ask Chaeyoung about it at lunch, she would probably know.

As my gaze caught Sana’s again, she rolled her eyes at me and pointed sideways at Momo as if to say, “this girl…” but then huffed in anger and turned back around when I never reciprocated her sarcastic feelings back to her. Why did I need to? Of course it wasn’t her fault and I shouldn’t be mad at her, but every time I just can’t help remembering her name at the top of the standings whenever I think about the beatings… and the pain… and the bitter disappointment…

A hand from my left clasped over one of my tightly clenched fists and caught me from losing myself again.

I guess that answers that question.

For the rest of the period, I left Momo’s hand there, atop my own and I didn’t even bother to open up my notebook either. Although this served me some odd glares and genuine looks of confusion from my classmates, for the first time, I truly felt like I didn’t care at all. They could stare daggers all they wanted and I wouldn’t feel a single prick.

Eventually, the chimes rang out and, to everyone’s surprise, Momo immediately got up and dragged me out of the classroom, careful to not grab as hard as before.

“See you guys at lunch!” Sana’s high-pitched voice came from behind us, but she showed no sign that she was listening.

When we reached the bottom of the stairs, marching our way past all the other students, Momo took a sharp turn and started leading us in the opposite way of the cafeteria, away from Chaeyoung. And… the others…

“Where are we going?” I questioned on instinct with a little too much inflection in my voice.

“Oh, you’re right, we should get you to the bathroom first,” Momo said holding back a chuckle as she tugged me in yet another direction.

The first words that ever come out from , and it’s about how I need to go to the bathroom?! This girl can’t be serious…

I looked down and patted my clothing making sure it was all in place, but when I glanced at one of the classroom windows, I realized that I looked like a complete mess. My hair was wild, frizzy, and all over the place as I must have been raking through it with my hands while I was zoned out. Even my face was bare of any makeup, which I should have put on, as I could tell it had a sickly pale hue to it, even just looking at it through my reflection in the window.

“A-alright,” I responded a little flustered, “but where are we headed after?”

“Don’t worry, it’ll be helpful for you,” Momo responded with an attempt at a smile. It must have been a first for her in a long time.

I do not like the sound of that at all.

“This, is your grand idea? Sneaking out?!” I asked, baffled, as Momo held out a leading arm for me towards the gated entrance of the school.

“Scream a little louder, would ya?”

Where the hell did this girl’s attitude come from?

“Well I’m sorry, but knowing how you act, who knows when we will ever get back, if at all?”

“Exactly! Now do you get my point?”

If this girl was using sarcasm, there was absolutely no way of telling. Especially based on her previous personality record, this was a complete 180.

“Momo, this isn’t the time to joke around. I can’t take my studies lightly anymore.”

“All this time, and that’s what you call taking it lightly? Come on, Mina! That’s just putting stress on top of stress and no one can live like that… you need this! I know you do.” Momo reached out her arm and pushed back my sleeve as if the constant pain wasn’t a good enough reminder of my bruises.

“That’s… exactly why I need to study harder actually…” I brought my hand over my mouth and managed to hold back the sniffles, but the message seemed to come across regardless.

“Fi