Note: Colour words: Lyrics for the song Time (Woohyun' s solo, yup I made quite some changes though) - Don't hesitate to listen to it when you read.

All the song lyrics are Sungyeol's inner desire/thoughts just to let you know.

Tic Toc.

Tic Toc.

Tic Toc.

Did time just stop again?

Is it going to fall asleep like before?

Staring blankly outside, I closed my eyes

And there’s a thought of you in my mind
 

14 December 2019

Hahahaha........It is hard to imagine that none of the endings written were actually really true, isn’t it??  They were just fragment of imaginations I fabricated of that fateful night…… Yay..Yah!!! I know it all ; call me a novelist that fails in writing romance. Anyway, maybe that is just because there is nothing perfect in the world. No perfect person on earth. No perfect endings in real life.
 

You would be thinking so what the hell really happened that night??? Did I really dash into the room? ............Yeah, I didn’t……so what……if…….I didn’t, it’s because I didn’t have to. In the end, it was them rushing out the room and just thinking about it now still makes me cringed in pain.

Even though time is passing by

I’m going back to that time again

Where I’ve tried so hard finding back

Everything in our…..my memories………..

~ Flashback~

“Yah!!! Lee Sungjong, I’m not helping you practice anymore??? What kind of script was that??? You’re through more than half of it.  Are you sure you’re not voice subbing for some rated anime???” Myungsoo shrieked, yanking the door open.

 “Myunggie hyung, please you got to help me. I really want to get the role.” The brunette pouted, tugging onto the boy’s shirt.

BAM!!!

The hard wooden door slammed back, hitting head onto the figure standing at the doorway causing him to stumble backwards due to the strong force. Thus losing his sense of balance, Sungyeol collapsed onto the ground unconscious as blood leaked out of his swollen nose. 

“Omo, eish see what have you done L hyung. Yeollie hyung, gwenchana???” The brunette kneeled down beside the black out choding, trying to shake him awake but when his hand swept past the boy’s skull, he felt a wet sticky liquid staining his fingers. “Aaaaahhhhh…………..”

~ End of flashback~

I’m here, all alone crying by myself

As my tears stopped, I just laugh

I’m waiting silently once again

Until I’m able to breathe once more

After that I really can’t recall what really happened since the next time I woke up, I was lying on the bed in the hospital a week after the accident. The doctors did a head X ray, CT scan and some blood testing on me and it was diagnosed that I had a concussion which was causing my transient amnesia. So what have I forget you would asked, won’t you???

Okay, this is it. I remembered everything except the two physiques standing closest to my bedside. Yes, I remember everyone; my parents, younger brother; daeyeol and my cousin, Lee Howon but not Myungsoo and Sungjong. My brain seems to have erased them completely out of my life. I don’t even remember their names until they introduced themselves to me once again. I’ll never forget how shocked they were at that point of time. They were glaring at me in astonishment.

With their puffy weary eyes brimmed with tears, Myungsoo just stood there speechless while Sungjong collapsed on the chair, watering incessantly. No one said anything because there was nothing more to be explained. I simply don’t remember them. Coming to think of it now, it was probably a form of avoidance by my subconscious mind to eraser the misery and sorrows I’ve experienced. Maybe, who knows maybe it was just the protective mechanism of my body against the internal damages of my fragile brain? Against the damages of what loving him could cause.

Even if I remained quiet in the corner

And I can’t hear you calling out to me

Even so I’m searching for your shadow

I’ll find you before the time stops again

You’ll probably be curious so are we still friends today, 8 years after that night. Yes, in some sense and no, in another. I mean we are friends but in different way. It was a long story. After the accident, they tried very hard to help me regain my memories of them. They would visit me every day and tell me stories of all our childhood. Things like how we became friends, how we play and study together. Every little detail of the joyful moments we had together. The struggle and fights with had with our parents and teachers when we grew up. But it is a waste because nothing seems to register itself in my mind. Everything seems so vivid just like a fairytale told that I wasn’t part of.

So slowly I got irritated by their persistence and they gradually become disheartened with my cold response. But you can’t blame me, they were just practically strangers that had barged into my comfort zone; trespassing into my peaceful life. So I tried resisting, I started picking a fight with them when I see them and I would also pushed them out of my house if they ever come over. This routine continued for at least 4 months until we graduated from high school. Till that time, we were all literally drained and from what I know Myungsoo and Sungjong also stopped connecting each other because they were tired of all the disagreements they had every day. Myungsoo wanted to call quits but Sungjong was still carrying a lot of hopes in me that one day I would recover and remember them.

I’m here, all alone. I’ve been crying all along.

My tears had finally stopped and I’m laughing  

After I left you all alone.........without me…..

I keep wandering around searching for….

Shattered memories that I can’t recall

Shortly after, Myungsoo left for college in Suwon to study medical research in the university that my father taught in. What a coincidence wasn’t it? Or is it?? I have no idea. He just literally ran away. This was Kim Myungsoo. A cool heartless looking chap on the outside that seems to have discarded his friends; me and Sungjong but I know he is not. My instincts told me so. He probably has his reasons for leaving and it is probably related to me. Maybe he just could not face the guilt of causing my illness or maybe he is trying to hide his vulnerability in a foreign place. You may not believe this but he is as soft as a tofu inside. He is a lad that is very afraid to get hurt so he would always put up a strong font to hide his weakness. His little words, cool gestures and the hostility he had towards others are all just pillars he built around himself to scare off anyone trying to get close to him because he knows once he gives his heart out. It is a road of no return.

Anyway, no one ever thought that he would meet a nagging old man that crept his way into his life. Okay, perhaps not really old but 6 years his senior by the name of Lee Sunggyu; his mentor in his research laboratory. My father’s favourite hoobae and the most annoying ahjussi hyung I’ve ever known since my middle school days. Honestly, if he could stop moving his mouth so much and make use of his hands more he would be a great person, not that I don’t like him but he is quite an empty vessel in my view totally the opposite of Myungsoo who is a silent worker that does everything flawlessly. Frankly speaking, I really can’t understand how they even got together but you know what?? Maybe opposite poles just do attract. Sunggyu just could have some charisma that I don’t know of or Myungsoo would be just using him to forget about Sungjong??? Who knows??? It doesn’t even matter, all I know now is that they are a fine couple and I’m totally glad that Sunggyu has met his doom, Kim Myungsoo. My myunggie baby that is going to make him a changed man, I know he would.

I know well that I can’t really say anything but

You should know that I’m still finding for you

Don’t you??........So please don’t you waver...

You know I could never forget you right.......

Now coming back to Sungjong, I have to say his love for me was deep even though I’ve never appreciate him before because I’ve lost all my memory of him but I know he made a lot of sacrifices for me. He gave up his opportunity to become a voice actor in Japan and chose to stay back in Seoul to be by my side. What could I say??? I was touched but I don’t feel anything for him. It crashed his heart when I told him that and he drown himself in alcohol that night and I think you probably could guess what happened next, can’t you??? The typical drama storyline, he got on the wrong bed and have a one night stand with a complete stranger. After a few months he became pregnant and was forced to get married with the person that fathered his child. Hahaha, this is just another joke. How the hell could he get pregnant??? But the married part is true though; Sungjong was caught red handed on my cousin’s bed and he was made to wed Howon hyung by his materialistic mother because my cousin’s family is filthy rich.

Sigh, I bet you are going to be screamed at the top of your voice calling me a bastard to let Sungjong marry someone he does even know. As his “hyung”, why didn’t I even try to stop the marriage? How could I be so heartless?? I admitted I know I should have done something but won’t it all just be an act if I didn’t mean anything from the bottom of my heart?? I don’t want to lie to Sungjong that I didn’t have any desire to stop anything because he would obviously be better off with Howon and forget about his love for me. I believe in my sixth sense that told me their relationship would surely work out. Although Howon hyung is a spoiled brat with quite a temper but he just have a really soft spot of weaker beings; delicate dolls that easily shaken by force and Sungjong just fits the bill even if it is just a false impression that the brunette gives off.

Okay, I know you won’t believe the explanation I’m giving now but I’m still glad that they got married because I finally saw a genuine smile hanging on Howon’s lips that had been lost since his father remarried the girl he loved. I don’t know how to explain this but I think Howon had really fallen in love with Sungjong after they ridiculously got together. His gaze towards the younger boy was so soft and sweet that it makes me felt the sheer adoration blazing in his eyes and I’m sure Sungjong could feel it too. He wouldn’t be able to resist the charms of my cousin so I’m certain that Sungjong would return his affection very soon. It is just a matter of time and they would definitely become a blissful couple.

So please even if I don’t say anything

Even if you don’t hear anything from me

Please believe I’m still looking at you

I’ll wait patiently for you until time stops

Honestly I’m really glad that everything had turned out well because the only hope I have is for them to ultimately obtain happiness in their life even if might not get the chance to give them my blessing personally anymore because I’m probably just a stranger today in their eyes. Since, I had never told them that I have regained my memories about them 2 years ago after I’ve read my long lost diary. This is because I don’t want to disrupt the peaceful life they are having now or make them remember the painful past we had together of the broken love we shared. I don’t want them to harbour any regrets, sorrows or hatred towards me because I only want them to remember me as their former best friend of their childhood. And no matter what have happened they would always still be my best friends; the most precious comrades I had that I want to protect and cherish forever.

So if you’re still searching for me

I’ll wait for you silently here

Until you can breathe freely again

My dear friends........Chingu-ah....

Ring Ring Ring............

 “YAH, WHERE THE HELL IS YOUR MANUSCRIPT, LEE SUNGYEOL.......” A high pitched piercing voice blazed through the phone into Sungyeol’s eardrum, snapping him out of trance.

Manuscript??? ..........@(0.0)@.... 11 January...... Aaaahhhhh…………..damn.............I’m not even halfway done with the script, how am I going to write all the dating scenes............OMG, what am I supposed to do??? Think.....Sungyeol-ah, think quick.............

“Teeee, Hi, I’m Lee Sungyeol. I’m not at home at the moment, please leave a message and I will contact you as soon as possible. Teee……….” The tall lad said in his calmest monotonous voice before hanging up the phone call.

“AaaahhhhHHHH….damn….Ahhhh…………… Omo~ Eotteoke?? eotteoke?? Eotteoke?? eotteoke?? ...................Aaaaahhhhhh………he’ll kill me…Gosh…….” Sungyeol shrieked as he paced around his room, trying to figure out the best way to face his “debt collector”.

Runaway, Sungyeol to anywhere…..He thought inwardly as he started dumping some random clothes into his bag-pack and with his laptop in his arms, he fled to the main door pulling it straight open.

“Aaaaaahhhhhhh………” he screamed hysterically, slamming the door back when he saw the figure panting at the doorway but his attempt was fruitless as the elder’s hand was jamming the closure of the entrance.

“Hah….I just knew you’ll plan to runaway, choding.” The elder grinning maliciously as he pushed his way through the gaping door, smirking in triumph at the traumatized lad. “Now, where is my manuscript again before I strangle you…”

“Ah…..please don’t force me……I really can’t make myself write about the love life of the protagonist…….I don’t even remember how does being in love feels like???” Biting his lower lips, Sungyeol gulped the saliva stuck in his throat as he retreated back. “Aish, can’t I just focus on solving all the mysteries in the story.”

 “Are you dumb yeollie, no one wants to read a boring detective novel without love and to spice up everything? Now come with me” The shorter boy exclaimed, seizing Sungyeol’s arm as he dragged the boy along with him towards the exit.

“Namu, let go where are you dragging me???…..”

“Dating………..to find the feeling of love……….”

“Huh???....................”

“Huh, what???  If you don’t know how to write the scenes we can drop by the hotel too…..what position do you prefer??? Missionary…..doggy…….cowboy….standing………” Woohyun teased nonchalantly causing the younger to let a loud whimper.

“Aaaahhh, you’re crazy….who….who say I……you….” Sungyeol stuttered incoherently, lowering his head as his cheeks blushed pink in the elder’s provocative words.

“Punishment…..Humph Sungyeol-ah that will be your punishment if you can’t get the manuscript out tonight so you better start thinking now……………” The elder retorted, cutting him short as he interlocked their fingers with a smile grazing his lips.

Don’t worry yeollie-ah……

I’ll teach you how to love again

The path you got lost before

I’ll show you the way back

 Author notes:

                         Finally, the end. Sorry for the boring ending to wrap it all up but that's it guys. I hope you enjoyed reading the whole fanfic. Since it is the end, is it too much to ask for at least one comment??? It won't hurt I promise, I just want to know how you thought the whole story was like?? Was it okay or not. I hope I didnt disappointed any of you in the process??? Thanks for all your subscriptions (all 22 of you) and comments through this journey but hope you keep them coming if you haven pen down anything.

If you don’t get the whole story, it is actually about a detective novelist; Sungyeol who is supposed to write a love-story for the protagonist of his novel but he doesn’t know how so he was trying to find back the feeling of love by reading his old diary and there were many happy endings that could imagine but nothing came true. Nevertheless, he is still glad that everything was going smoothly for his friends in their life. However, he is still waiting for the day when he could tell them that he remembers them without making them sad. He yearns to salvage their friendship but he was afraid of hurting them once again. While Woohyun is Sungyeol’s editor that likes him, he knows about Sungyeol’s past and wants to show him the way back into love somehow.  

 Comment reply@:

toshiba: Thank you so much for commenting and subscribing. *Crying* you are the only one that commented, I was so happy to see your comment but you probably would hated me now for this final chapter, I’m so sorry I broke up all couples you shipped. Yes, I love jongyeol and myungjong too and that inspired me to write the different endings and I’m glad you liked them before.