Chaerin saw everything; from the way she looked when she clung to Jiyong the whole time, the way she drank her beer, the way her face crumpled, which is always a sign that she was about to cry. And even though she felt guilty, her pride, her high leader pride – slash – I’m-her-bestfriend-and-she-kept-this-a-secret-am-I-not-important-to-her pride pushed her to do a very crazy, out of this world, uous thing.

She kissed Jiyong.

It didn’t even last three seconds; she only made it to two before she heard the sound of a bottle crashing to the ground above the blaring noise.  She pulled away and whipped her head to see Dara’s nimble frame disappear from the door. It was only when she saw Minji and Bom’s scandalized expression did she realize… . What have I done.

“What the hell, CL?!”

Chaerin turned back to GD, who was looking at her like she was a worm or a bug or something. “I… I’m sorry, oppa. It…” She tried to apply words to what she really intended, but she realized she was at loss. “I’m sorry.”

“Jesus, you’re not even drunk! Why did you do that?!”

Someone stopped the music, and the room was suddenly deathly quiet.

“I just… wanted to know how Dara reacts if…” As soon as she said the words, she realized how stupid it sounded.

“Da-Dara?” Jiyong repeated, a look of incredulity and realization slowly forming on his face. “You mean…you knew already?”

Chaerin slowly nodded. Yes, oppa. I know that you and Dara-unnie are together. And I executed this stupid plan just to confirm it.

“What... what’s going on?” Seungri whispered loudly to Seunghyun, who looked completely clueless of what’s happening. Chaerin realized with slight panic how much she jeopardized the situation. , he didn’t tell them yet. Oh, this is effed up. He must despise me already.

But Jiyong, like the guide, the mentor, the protector he always was, understood her. “Go. I’ll handle the situation here. Just go.”

Go, where?

Chaerin looked at the gaping faces around her and bowed. “I’m sorry for the commotion I caused. But I… I need to go first.” She straightened up and raced out of the room.

**

The Big Bang leader stared vacantly in front of him before sighing and bringing up his hand to his face to rub his temples. Girls, he thought. Weird creatures.

His headache amplified as the remaining 2NE1 members jostled into him in an urgent manner. He waved them off tiredly. “Augh, go away, I’ve had enough of you creatures today.”

“Creatures?” Bom repeated, scrunching up her forehead, apparently insulted. Minji waved her off briskly and turned to GD.  “Jiyong-oppa!” She whispered urgently. “Chaerin-unnie… she still does not know!”

Jiyong looked at her, confused. “But I thought she said a while ago…”

“No! She… She…” Minji slowed down a bit before rushing into a hurried speech accompanied by Bom’s ramblings.

“Someone had taken a picture of you and Dara hugging--”

“—rageous thing yesterday--”

“—which was stupid, I tell you--”

“—although her reason was legit, it really seemed suspicious--”

“—flict between them--”

“—could ruin 2NE1’s career!”

“Hold on, what?!” GDragon yelled.

“She’s assuming that you and Dara are together!” Bom and Minji exploded.

“…hold on… WHAT?!” He screamed, not realizing it was the same phrase he yelled earlier. He felt suddenly dizzy and sank into a couch, looking dazed. “, I need a drink.” He mumbled and snatched the bottle Seungri was reverently offering him. He tipped the bottle over his lips and poured out the contents in his mouth, remembering the things he and Dara have talked about a few days ago…

Dara was hunched over, sobbing uncontrollably, and Jiyong felt like he can do nothing but hold her in his arms. He could feel her shaking as she struggled to maintain her breathing.

“I tried, Jiyong.” She whispered. “I tried to stay away, but… it never goes away.”

He rubbed her back comfortingly. “Why are you staying away, noona? You know that doesn’t change the way you feel.”

Dara let out a shaky breath. “I c-can’t feel this. It’s wrong.”

GD pulled away slightly and looked at her eyes with great intensity. “It’s not wrong, noona. It’s never wrong to love.”

“B-but…” Dara whispered softly, too softly that GD had to bend down to hear her. “Why does… Why does it have to be Chaerin?”

Jiyong closed his eyes and palmed his face. This is really messed up.

He reached out his hand for another bottle, but Seungri seemed hesitant to give him one. “Err... we need to rehearse tomorrow...”

“To hell with the rehearsal.” Jiyong growled as he grabbed the bottle from the maknae’s hands. “I need beer to keep myself sane being with these girls. Join me if you want to. TOP… TOP?” He looked around for Seunghyun, and sighed as he saw that his co-member seemed disinterested in the current situation and was deeply-immersed in Instagram.

Then I guess it’s just me and the girls…

His musings were abruptly interrupted by the deafening blare of the speakers as the Bigbang maknae turned it up once more and grabbed the mic, singing an overly-ecstatic version of Wonder Girls’ ‘Nobody.’

Right, Jiyong thought, feeling another massive headache blossoming on his temples. Three bottles for me, then.

**

What am I supposed to do?

Right. Apologizing.

Oh . I just kissed her boyfriend. She will be flipping mad.

Why did you even think this stupid plan, Chae? Oh my God, I hurt her. I hurt my bestfriend.

She found her just behind the building like she knew Dara would be. She was hunched down, her back on the wall, wracked with sobs. Seeing her like this made her feel like a total .

No, not an . A total . Anything that is more disgusting than the most disgusting things in the world, that’s me.

“D-Darong…”

She froze.

“D-Dara unnie…” She could feel the goddamn tears coming. She always took pride with the way she handled her emotions, but seeing Dara cry always shook her. And now she’s crying. And it’s her own fault. She knew, she knew she deserved to be slapped, her eye deserved to be clawed out by Dara, and that was better. That was better than this, seeing this wonderful girl crying.

“I’m sorry.” And then there’s the waterworks from my own eyes. “I don’t know what happened to me. I… I’m sorry for hurting you.”

Dara laughed bitterly. “You… don’t have to apologize, you know. It was my own fault.”

Chaerin looked at her disbelievingly. “I don’t need to apologize? Unnie, I made you cry! Because of this stupid pride, because of my arrogance, because I didn’t think about how you would feel, I intended to hurt you, just to know the truth.”

Dara wiped her tearstained face. “Well, now you know the truth.”

Chaerin looked at the ground. “Look… I don’t… I’m not against you and Jiyong-oppa, you know. You don’t need to hide it from me, if that’s what you were worried about.”

Dara looked at her. Just looked at her.

“Just… as long as you’re happy with him, I’ll support you. You know I’m always here for you.” She murmured sincerely.

Silence.

Chaerin thought it was over, that this agonizing part was over, and even though Dara wouldn’t forgive her easily, she would still be happy with Jiyong. And that brought relief to her.

But it wasn’t over.

“W-what the hell are you talking about?” Dara whispered.

“Huh?” Chaerin raised her head and looked at her, and was surprised to see her own bewilderment was mirrored by Dara.

“I said, what the hell are you talking about?” Dara said, louder this time, and slowly stood up.

Chaerin blinked, utterly confused. “Uh, that… you and Jiyong can be a real couple without hiding now?”

The way Dara was looking at her was so intense, it was beginning to make her blush. Aish, what?

“Who said I have feelings for Jiyong?” It was barely audible, but Chaerin heard it nonetheless.

“Huh?” She uttered stupidly, completely lost. Dara was walking towards her now. “Who said I wanted to be with Jiyong?” Her voice was getting louder, clearer.

And Chaerin’s head was spinning. What the does she mean? I don’t get it. “I don’t… get it.” She repeated what she just thought. “Y-you,” she started hesitantly. “You hid your relationship from me because you’re scared I might object. You were avoiding me, because you think I’m getting suspicious. Then y-you… cried because I shamelessly flirted with your boyfriend. And now… you… what?” She ended her sentence in the dumbest way possible.

“What if,” Dara whispered, “you were wrong?” She was very close to her. “What if Jiyong is not my boyfriend?”

Chaerin couldn’t think of any other reason why she did those things. If Jiyong isn’t her boyfriend…?

“What if… I’m not even interested in him in any way possible?”

was practically useless at this point. She couldn’t speak. But her mind was asking, then why…?

“What if… the reason I was avoiding you is because whenever you’re near me I feel like I couldn’t breathe properly?”

Her heart is speeding up. What are you saying, Ssantokki?

“What if…” Chaerin could tell that this is the last what if, and the next words will be something so important and significant and absolutely –

“… I cried because you were shamelessly flirting with someone else when I am hopelessly in love with you?”

-crazy.