Sometimes I feel...

I can’t keep it together...

Then you hold me close...

And you make it better...

When I’m with you...

I can feel so unbreakable...

          “Welcome to SeungSeung flower shop with flower boys inside ! How may we help you today ?” Seunghoon’s cheerful voice could be heard until the next building. But their customers loved him very much. He was like a Crocus flower for many people. “Ah, your order ? Wait a bit, will you ? I’m sure Seungyoon already prettily prepared the flowers. Junhoe~~ Can you come here and accompany our sweet fairy ?” Junhoe knew who was the ‘fairy.’ He quickly walked to Jinhwan with a cup of warm tea. “Hello there.” Jinhwan smiled and Junhoe could not help himself but smiled back. “How’s your mother ?”

          “She’s doing well, and recovered much faster than we thought. The doctors are amazed with her speedy recovery. It must be because you’re praying for her as well.” Junhoe handed a flower to Jinhwan. “For her ?” Junhoe nodded. “Please send my regard for her.” Jinhwan looked at Junhoe with sadness in his eyes. “Why I keep hurting you when you’re this nice to me…” Junhoe held Jinhwan’s hand. “I know you’ll be in danger if you dare to speak with anyone, including me. It’s okay, Hyung. I’m getting used with the fact I’m no one out there for you. It’s for your own safety too.” Jinhwan sorrowfully sighed. “I feel it’s unfair, especially to you. You’re the kindest, but I can’t even say hello to you.”

          “Meeting like this with you, it makes me happy, really. Even though I should admit, I want more than this. Hyung…” Junhoe stared at Jinhwan’s eyes warmly. “I love you. I know you belong to him. But, at least you know, there’s someone out there that love you.” Jinhwan was more than shocked to hear Junhoe’s sudden confession. “I love you, even you won’t ever talk to me when he’s around. I love you; even you will never return it. But let me love you, I won’t burden you with this love.” Junhoe still held Jinhwan’s hands, and his cheek gently.

          “Junhoe… I...” Junhoe shook his head. “I’m not asking you to say yes or no. I only want to say that I love you. I don’t have any right to ask anyway. I know you will never have an answer. You don’t have to. Just let me love you from afar. That’s the least you can do for me.” Jinhwan felt his heart was forcibly pulled out. To the man that was so nice to him since the first time they met, to the man that he secretly fell in love, to the man that actually loved him as well, to the man that he would trade the world for his happiness, yet to this man, he could not say the same word… I love you too…

          “Eyyy, let go of his hand, you bad boy !” Seunghoon shoved Junhoe’s hand and handed the bouquet to Jinhwan. “Aishhh, you just made a fairy cry ! Naughty boy, go to Papa Yoonie and have your punishment.” Seunghoon jokingly pushed Junhoe to Seungyoon. “Ah, no, no, it’s not his fault. I’m… I… I…” Seunghoon gave a tissue to Jinhwan. “You’re happy cause you see three handsome guys in the same frame, right ? I got it, don’t worry. But I’m the most handsome here, Junhoe still need years to be as handsome as me.” Jinhwan laughed. Junhoe felt relived seeing Jinhwan’s smile. He was afraid his abrupt declaration would make the shop got flooded with Jinhwan’s tears.

          “I’ll take my leave then. Thank you for the pretty flower as always.” Junhoe’s heart felt hurt, because Jinhwan did not say, “See you in the university, Junhoe.” and it must been because of his foolishness. See you, Hyung… Even you don’t want to see me again after this, still… I love you…

-☆-☆-☆-

          “Junhoe ?” Professor Choi was looking straightly to the student in front of him. “Yes, Sir.” Junhoe just answered him half-heartedly. “Can you explain what is this ?” He threw a paper to his table. “My answer sheet, Sir ?” His professor sighed, a bit too loud. “Yes and it has my sign. Also, a C for your score. Care to explain why are you acting like this ?” Junhoe looked at his right side, like there was an answer written there. “I wasn’t concentrated when answering I think.” Professor Choi did not satisfy with the answer. “I know you don’t like my topic. But, you never get C before. You always get B for minimum. Wait until Professor G calls you as well. You got D for his test.”

          Junhoe’s mind was somewhere else. It was captivated by someone to be exact. He could not get himself focus on his classes since two weeks ago, since he told Jinhwan about his love and Jinhwan kept avoiding him. “This is your second semester, I believe ?” Junhoe nodded to Professor G that just came in and sat beside Professor Choi. “Junhoe, you were always so hard-working in every class. The other lecturers are complaining about you too. Is there anything you want to talk with us ? Any problem ? At all ?” Junhoe knew, his professors were nice, even though they were like a Devil in the classroom. They paid attention to every student they had, including him.

           “Nothing, Sir.” Both of them look annoyed. “Junhoe, I’m not going to repeat myself. One more time you get a score below B, you’ll have detention. I mean it.” This was the first time Junhoe heard Professor Choi’s voice filled with anger. “Guys, don’t make him scared like that. Let me talk to him.” Professor Dong suddenly popped out from nowhere and took Junhoe out of the room. “Junhoe, you know that we care for you, right ? So, if we can do anything to help you in your class, please don’t hesitate to tell us.” Junhoe nodded and felt thankful. Professor Dong was his most favorite lecturer, because he was always kind and protective to every student.

          “Thank you, Sir. I’m having a hard time at home. You know, my parent, well… they just divorced. I’m… I’m happy though. But, it will be harder for us. I’m the backbone of the family. I have to make my mother… happy. I have to make sure, she did the right thing.” His professor patted his shoulder. “Thank you for telling me this, Junhoe. I appreciated it your bravery. If you need extra lesson, for any class, just tell me. You got it ?” Junhoe nodded and thanked his professor for his extra kindness as always.

          “You can go to your next class. I’ll talk to your other professors. Don’t worry. You’ll do great. Keep your chin up.” They shook hand and parted their way.

-☆-☆-☆-

          “What are you doing after your last class, Hyung ?” Jinhwan looked at Chanwoo and thought of his mother. “What is that in your hand ?” Jinhwan was late to hide it, Chanwoo grabbed the house ads from him. “Are you moving ?” Jinhwan nodded. “Not right now, it just… our contract will be ended next month.” Chanwoo sat beside him. “Why don’t you continue the rent ? Isn’t your house near with the university ?” He gently held Jinhwan’s hand and played with his hair. “Yes, but the fee is much higher this time. I can’t afford it. Not with our current saving. My mother stops working since she got sick. I only tutor younger kids to help our daily needs. We have to look for other house…”

          “I told you to receive my money, why are you so stubborn ? You can even stay in one of my family’s apartments. Aren’t we suppose to help each other ? Aren’t that what couple do while they’re in a relationship ?” Jinhwan smiled to Chanwoo. “Thank you for the offer, Chanwoo. But this is my problem. I’m her only son. I can’t let you take the load and pay everything for us. I hope you’re not offended with this.” Chanwoo still ruffled Jinhwan’s hair. “Okay, fine. Just tell me if you can’t find any good place. Let me have you in.” Jinhwan just nodded, not in agreement, but just to make Chanwoo stopped offering help. He did not want to be a weakling forever, getting help from everyone around him.

          Then he saw Junhoe stood near the swimming pool, next to the basketball field, where they sat. Junhoe was talking with a girl and offered a towel to her. He smiled to the girl and it made Jinhwan felt pierced. Is she your girlfriend ? She is so pretty. I’m happy for you, Junhoe… I am… happy… for you… Chanwoo was looking at Junhoe as well, because he noticed Jihwan was looking at him with sad expression. He felt angry with the sight and grabbed Jinhwan’s arm. “Hyung, what are you looking at this time ? I don’t see a house ad there.” Jinhwan startled. “Ah, no, nothing, Chanwoo… I just feel… I want to go to swim… It’s really hot right ? Ahaha…” Chanwoo felt Jinhwan’s fake laugh.

-☆-☆-☆-

          “Junhoe, thank you for your help ! It means a lot for me. I never thought we could book an extra class with Professor Choi. Ah, he’s so handsome, don’t you think so ?” Junhoe handed her a towel. “I can’t answer that, I’m a guy as well.” He smiled to Donghyuk’s cousin. “Ahhh, okay, okay. But still, thank you ! I almost failed the class, hahhhh…” Donghyuk and Yunhyeong approached them. “You won’t fail if you can stay sharp and stop drooling over him, Hayii.” She blushed and nudged her cousin. “I knowww, but he’s so handsome, every girl will say yes to his handsomeness. He’s the most handsome man on earth, on this galaxy, hahh…” They laughed seeing Hayii tur