What have you done Taemin-ah. I splashed more water to my face. She was crying and all I can do is ask her to touch up her make up???? How heartless can I be? It must have taken Naeun all of her courage to do that and I just left her alone on the stairs. Id slapped her on that day, infront of everyone. I looked at my hand. And I didn’t even remember it was our monthsary that day until she mentioned it earlier.

*BzzzzzBzzzzz*

“yes?

“where did you put the blue cap?

“inside the drawer.

“Okay thanks. By……

“Jongin, I think id make a grave mistake

“huh? What are you talking about?

 I told him everything that happenend earlier.

“I big time right Jongin ah – I sighed, I had to lean on the wall. I don’t know what I should do now. Id cause hurt to her, id embarrassed her, I doubted her love for me when all she knows is to love me. I wanted her to understand my buzy schedule but id never bother to put myself in her situation. I d forgotten how delicate Naeun is and treat her like so.

“You just walked off and leave her alone?

“I did

“I wanted to say im sorry too for not trusting her, for misjudging her but I cant. Sorry is not enough. I cant look pass my action and expect her to forgive me. I know she will, that’s the thing Jongin. I know she will forgive me in an instant, which is what makes me guiltier.

“Okay. Where are you now?

“Bathroom

“Get back to your room, you need to perform later. Do not, this time, I repeat again, do not speak to Naeun. You are a mess, I don’t know what else will come out from your mouth.

All of the participating idols are on stage. It’s the end of the segment where the emcee will announce the winner for today’s music show. We are one of the nominees, with Apink. Truth be told, it was a little awkward. There is always abit of tension whenever Apink & Shinee is on the same stage together. Ever since our WGM stint, then Key & Eunji went out on a blind date, then Eunji visiting Key virtual marriage ceremony, Shinee’s diehard fans are not as please.

“Today’s winner is *drumroll* Shinee! Congratulations Shinee! – the emcee boomed.

Although my mind is troubled, once the trophy is handed to me, for that short moment, I was satisfied & elated. Onew hyung is saying our thanks to our parents, company & fans.

“Thank you for watching. Stay tune for Shinee’s encore! Goodbye! – the emcee waved & bowed. The other idols started to make their way down the stage. I can see from the corner of my eyes the Apink members are congratulating us, likewise my other Shinee members. I am so ashamed after what I did, I cant make myself to turn and face them. I can sensed her presence behind me. I can feel her slight touch on my back. Control yourself Taemin, for once, listen to what Jongin reminded you before.

We had to rush for another interview going on afterwards. For awhile I had to put my problems behind. Work is still work. I just reached my flat after a whole day of schedules. I wanted to text Naeun, but I don’t know where to start, I called Jongin.

“Where you at?

“You finished?

“Yup. Can come & pick me up? I need to de-stress and need your help.

“Okay, ill come in bit

“Jongin, I love her, I was wrong, I am so sorry, I cant function without her …….

“I know. We all know.  Except for you and her. – he hung up.

I need to bathe & get ready.

*

We are on our way to our usual hang out spot. Kwonho and Jihye is already there waiting for us. I have not seen them since I was in Japan the past few months. Soo Jung will be joining us later as she had a schedule to go to. If only Naeun is here, we are complete.

“Yah, relax a bit. I know you’re sad about Naeun, but really, you guys won today. Cheer up dude! – Jongin exclaimed.

We parked and make our way to the small hut.

“Welcome home Taemin-ah!! – Kwonho shouted from afar. Oh gosh I miss that chubby face. We hugged each other “Eh, don’t they feed you well in Japan, I know they have a lot of foods there.

“You have not even been there Kwonho-ya – Jihye butted in. “Ya, congratulations on today’s win.  – she gave me a hi-5.

I sit beside Jihye “How’s the wedding prepration going? Are the both of you not on any diet? Can you guys fit in the gown and the suit later ha?

Jihye rolled her eyes “Its in two months time, Taemin-ah. You don’t worry about us.

“Its whether all 4 of my idol friends can make it or not. – Jihye muttered. “Yes, 4, I don’t care if you are not with Naeun, but she’s invited anyway. – Jihye says matter of fact.

*OUchhhh* Kwonho pinched Jihye’s cheeks. “Can you keep your mouth shut mam?

“Yah yah, now I get it why I never see you guys often, you guys are so loud man – I teased them

“But really Taemin, can you be less obvious? You were so transparent on wanting to avoid Naeun on TV just now. I almost want to put my hand through the tv screen and turn your head to her direction – Jihye spoke in between eating the chips that we bought.

So what do you want to do now since she clearly did not cheat on you? – Kwonho asked.

I looked at Jongin. “Id filled them in earlier. Naeun is clearly not in the wrong, they should know. Although we all knew from the start, something is wrong somewhere but you were adamant, so there’s no use trying to change your mind then, remember the bruise right here –he pointed to where I punched him the last time, "I had to wear tons of makeup for my performance the next day.

“Kwonho even asked me to not invite Naeun down for hangout anymore after you went berserk –she sighed.  "But I still meet her once a while, when she’s free. I couldn’t imagine how you could think that our Naeun can cheat on you.

I lay down on the bench. “ I know guys, I know. I am at fault. Now I don’t know where to start to make things right again. I was too mad, too impatient then.

“Yah, Soo Jung’s here – Jihye mentioned.

I sit up and look at her direction. I saw not only 1 figure walking towards us, but there’s 2 of them.

“Perhaps you can start by telling her how you feel Taemin. – said Jongin.

*

We had finishes schedule for today. I had already changed into my normal clothes. I told Chorong unnie that ill be going to Soo Jung's place for awhile. Id keyed in her password and let myself in. Soo Jung was at her kitchen and was on the phone. "Yes, yes. Okay, anw, she's here now. l'll see you all later. Byee!

I stayed perched on her sofa. She comes around and hugged me. I needed that today, Id feel so so worn out physically & mentally. "Why didnt you tell me that he had slapped you? I knew from Jongin that you guys fought last two months, but he too didnt tell me that Taemin oppa clearly has crossed the line. I just knew the whole story from Jongin just now Naeun-ah. -she held my face in her hand. Tears already started to trickle down my face. "Aish you fool, why do you keep this to yourself? 

"Soo Jung ah -i speak in between sobs, "i still love him. I thought i didnt, but i saw him just now, but, he hates me now. He wont be able to believe anything id every say again. I didnt mean to lie to him. -Soo Jung hugged me again. "Naeun- ah, i believe you. People makes mistake. Taemin oppa is a jerk. He's trying to show you that he's a cold guy who's heart is frozen when Jongin just told me that he is also very miserable at the moment. -she handed me some tissues. "He is now beating himself up for slapping you which he should, omg Naeun-ah, im still angry that he actually did that to you, and also becaise despite of how he's the closest to you yet he still doubts you. He is regretting his actions now and he's not sure how to make things right. Serves him right. -Soo Jung rolled her eyes.

"so you're saying he forgives me?

"You're forgiven alright. He is just mad at himself. You know how your boyfriend is.

"So what should i do now? He sure looked like he wants to avoid me. He didnt even acknowledge me when Shinee won just now. 

"Hmmmm, tell you what. What time does your schedule starts tomorrow?

"6 am, why?

"Let's go to Han river now. Taemin oppa is there. Take this chance tp tell him how you really feel. And he needs an earful from me too. Lets go! - she pulled me up.

I hesitated.

Soo Jung turn to face me back. "What are you waiting for? Naeun, listen. As much as he is wrong for blaming you, you have to change too. You have to start expressing yourself abit more. You guys love each other but you are the only one giving. You've done a lot for him because he asked you to and because you love him. Unfortunately, Taemin oppa is very bad at reading in between the lines. He wanted to do stuffs for you but he didnt know if you like it or not. If you need something from him, you have to be direct and say it to his face. Tell him you missed him, tell him you want to see his face. I swear for the past 2 months he's been away, if you told him what you really feel, told him you wanted to see his face, he will fly over, trust me, he will be back to see you & fly back Naeun-ah.

*

We've reached Han River and are making our way down to the hut. "Soo Jung, wait. -I stopped in my tracks. Soo Jung looked at me. I took out the bracelet that Taemin had lend me from my back jeans pocket. I slipped it into my wrist. Soo Jung smiled, she slid her fingers into my fingers. "You can do this Naeun-ah.