At midnight toward 27th Baekhyun was the first one to congratulate Chanyeol on Instagram and the first time congratulating someone on his own Instagram account. At first it was hard; whether he should really upload this kind of picture. A picture of his own lips and nothing else — a close up to be more specific. He knew he haven’t had that many interaction with Chanyeol on stage or on the media lately, but that’s because they are forced to stay away from each other - or at least have a good distance. It’s sad and it hurts Baekhyun so much. That’s why, since they are outside of their country, Baekhyun wanted to surprise Chanyeol with something else. He knew it was risky but he really does love Chanyeol and he wants to do something romantic too. Therefore he put the caption: Chanyola Happy birthday~~~~~~~~~Woooooooooo 🙆 I love you!!>< Happy Birthday !!!>< woowoo~~💋#Chanyeol'sBirthday

 

It shouldn’t be that weird right? Chanyeol had also put I love you on his caption when it was Baekhyun’s birthday last year so this shouldn’t be a big deal. Baekhyun pressed upload and waited for the comments to show up. Another reason to why he felt more confident uploading this kind of picture is because of the fans. He knows there is so many who supports him and Chanyeol together which makes him happy. Especially when reading the comments, of course there are those comments that he hates but he tries to ignore them — but he ends up feeling miserable and something tugging his heart.

 

The ”chansoo” comments. He hates to feel like this. God damn, he is best friend with Kyungsoo since before debut and Kyungsoo knows he and Chanyeol are in a relationship. But lately them two have been way too imitate and Baekhyun has been a good boy to not get jealous since they are all close friends. However, the sights makes him feel kind of worried? He stops reading the comments and tries to calm his raging heart, but then that notification sound trails in his ears and he quickly looks who from his friends wrote something.

 

’Real__pcy has comment on your picture’

 

Baekhyun waited for some seconds before finally reading what the giant commented. He had hoped that maybe the taller would write something else than - not this: Thank you, but why had to be lips?

 

But it was a comment anyway and Baekhyun is happy for that too. He smiled and decided to continue reading the comments since so many was writing ’ ChanBaek ’. Apart from that Baekhyun saw many people asking if he’s drunk or okay. Of course he’s okay, why wouldn’t he. Is it that weird with what he uploaded? It feels as if the whole thing is a waste of time. Baekhyun pouted and wrote something in the comment section: ....alcohol......I didn't drink (alcohol). Is it weird to say I didn't when I really didn't drink?

 

Hopefully the people will understand.

 

Baekhyun put the phone away and tried to sleep since it is a big day ”tomorrow”. They are going to have another concert in Taipei and also celebrating Chanyeol’s 25th birthday. Baekhyun haven’t bought a present yet but he has thought that since they are in another country maybe they both could go out during night and look around. Like a date. Beside, Chanyeol is thankful for whatever he’s receiving; that’s what he has always said anyway.

 

•••

 

He’s excited, oh so excited he is. The smile on his face was not unnoticed by the staffs and the members. They all have been asking why he’s so happy but Baekhyun replied that he slept well. He had yet to meet Chanyeol after the picture was uploaded. Yes, he was extremely worried that maybe Chanyeol did not like it at all. If that’s the case then Baekhyun would delete it directly but wouldn’t that look fishy?

 

Preparing for the MAMA intro Baekhyun stood by himself for his solo dance and the concert continued.

 

Everything was going well. Chanyeol hadn’t said anything about the picture and they both had a great time. They even laughed their asses off from their hairs looking static. But everything started during the encore. Baekhyun as usual was having his time on his own, making the fans laugh and so on. He had taken the confetti and put them around his body. Chen came running from another direction with a big smile toward Baekhyun. He had immediately wrapped Baekhyun with the confetti and that’s when the smaller got the idea. Looking to where his boyfriend was wandering around he caught the taller far away from him. He knew what present to give him; a present of himself. Chanyeol would be happy right? Baekhyun smiled excitedly as he tried to walk with small steps to the taller.

 

It was hard to walk since the confetti was tightly wrapped around his body but after a long time of fighting he managed to get near Chanyeol and Kyungsoo. And that’s when he saw that their feet were tied together. Baekhyun shrugged it off, it doesn’t mean anything, they are having fun and so is he. Being as close as possible and with hope that Chanyeol will like this, the duo turns around to walk away but Chanyeol managed to see Baekhyun looking all crazy. Baekhyun smiled with his whole face at his boyfriend but Chanyeol showed another reaction which made Baekhyun’s heart break so badly. The taller had laughed as he usually does but he had pushed Baekhyun to the side, maybe it did not look like he had used force but the smaller did feel that pain. 

 

As he glanced at them both waking further away from him, he saw how Kyungsoo’s arm was wrapped around Chanyeol’s body and he quickly looked back at himself. Did he look that ridiculous that Chanyeol was embarrassed? Was he not a good boyfriend. Does he look disgusting? Childish? There was so many questions popping up in his head and each question tugged onto his heart. He felt like crying. It would be fine enough if Chanyeol had just smiled at him but why pushing him? Was it because of the picture? Baekhyun with a sulking face threw the pillow he was holding onto the ground, the bow on his head was removed too. He tried to put his fake smile but the pain in his heart and the painful lump that was forming in his throat made it harder. Baekhyun felt kind of embarrassed in front of all the fans that he got rejected by Chanyeol just like that. He had put so much effort into this and had so much hope but that was all he received. The gold confetti was the last thing removed and after that, he tried his best to have fun with his fans.

 

He hoped.

 

And he tried.

 

He tried to get Chanyeol’s attention in hope to have the taller looking at him like he does off the camera. He wanted it so badly. When it was time to cut the cake, Baekhyun felt so pleased seeing his boyfriend looking joyful, like a kid receiving many presents. But even if Baekhyun sang the happy birthday song the loudest among them all, even if he said Channie in-between, even if he tried to get closer and sometimes dance. Chanyeol ignored him and that’s when Baekhyun wondered what happened.

 

And he felt scared.

 

So rejected.

 

It’s not like the other members noticed it, they were all up Chanyeol’s having fun too. But why did Chanyeol seem to have so much fun with the other members, specifically Kyungsoo. Why did he immediately look at the other as if Baekhyun never excited. Was Baekhyun overreacting to all of this or is it normal to feel jealous?

 

Baekhyun stopped enjoying the moment but he did his best to show as if he actually did have fun, just for Chanyeol.

 

Maybe his real present for tonight would make Chanyeol talk to him again.

 

Just them two, outside during night, on a date. 

 

Baekhyun can’t wait.

 

•••

 

It has always been like this when they are outside of Korea. Baekhyun and Chanyeol sharing one room with one big bed. It’s normal since they are in a relationship and that shouldn’t be a burden. However, beore driving back to their hotel Chanyeol had quickly passed by him and Baekhyun had wished that they could sit together. Since the concert venue is a good distance away from the actual hotel. It’s not a big deal though, Baekhyun will share a room with Chanyeol anyway and they will cuddle too. That’s what they always do.

 

But did anything change after the concert. No, in fact Chanyeol said nothing and Baekhyun wanted to ask why the taller was ignoring him. Baekhyun thought that maybe Chanyeol wanted to have some fun with the other members and not only him. That thought made Baekhyun relax a bit and so he put a smile on his face and began to freshen up a bit for the date tonight. Seeing Chanyeol walking inside the bedroom with a towel in his hand he immediately smiles widely but the other doesn’t even throw a glance at him.

 

Baekhyun furrow his brows when Chanyeol walks out of the room again; leaving him all alone.

 

What is going on?

 

15 minutes later of been waiting patiently Baekhyun jerks a bit when the door to the bedroom is opened and in comes Chanyeol with his adidas set and his favorite snapback sox. Was maybe Chanyeol taking them both out? Then that would be a good coincidence meaning they both will have fun.

 

”Cha—” His words were cut off when the other spoke, still not looking at him.

 

”I’m going out with Sehun and Kyungsoo. I will be back late, don’t wait for me.” And with that he walks out leaving once again Baekhyun all alone.

 

When the door to their room closes It’s then when he finally breaks down. He curls up in a ball in the middle of the big bed. He tugs on the sheets as he finally let’s his tears out. His throat hurts so damn much but so does the rest of his body.

 

Why is Chanyeol acting like this? Is it because he wants to breakup? That can’t happen! The thought only made him cry even harder if possible, resulting him getting a headache. He cried out Chanyeol’s name saying he is sorry for whatever he had done.

 

•••

 

3 hours later Baekhyun wakes up with dry tears feeling extremely dirty. He had hoped that Chanyeol is home but the room looked the same. Feeling a bit achy he gets out from the bed to wash his face. But when he comes back to check his phone he sees Chanyeol have uploaded something. A picture of him in another room looking all happy.

 

Where is he? Baekhyun asked himself.

 

Is he in another room? 

 

There is glasses and drinks, probably other people in that room that are there as well. Why isn’t Baekhyun invited?

 

Then there was other clips of Sehun, Kyungsoo and Chanyeol walking around in the streets. Baekhyun had immediately clicked that away for he couldn’t watch them.

 

If this is how Chanyeol wants it then Baekhyun will accept and wait.

 

Maybe something happened and the other doesn’t want to tell him.

 

Baekhyun will wait and see if Chanyeol comes back and talk to him.

 

 

 

But it never happened.

 

•••

 

They sat together on the plane, during the ride back to their dorm but none of them talked to each other except when Chanyeol said they are going to their own apartment had Baekhyun only nodded to that.

 

Baekhyun walked inside the apartment of their with a pout and someone tugging his heart. The smell inside their home made him feel so much calmer and he couldn’t wait to get inside their bedroom so he could lay down for a bit.

 

Seems like Chanyeol had the same thought since he walked to the same direction as Baekhyun. It’s then when Baekhyun felt the confidence to speak, to ask Chanyeol what is going on.

 

Turning around since he had his back directed to the taller he opens his mouth after hours.

 

”Chanyeol.”

 

There was silence in the room and so there is no possible way that Chanyeol did not hear him. But he ignored him anyway.

 

Baekhyun tries again with a louder tone. ”Chanyeol.”

 

The taller looks at him with boredom and it makes the smaller look away with hurt.

 

”What?”

 

”I..um.” The harsh tone Chanyeol used at him was as if Baekhyun had done something criminal. Never had his boyfriend talked to him like that and it scared him. He began to fiddle with his fingers having his eyes on the floor. That seemed to make Chanyeol impatience as he clucked his tongue.

 

”If you don’t want anything then don’t say my name.” With that Chanyeol walked to the bathroom to change clothes but Baekhyun showed no weakness as he followed the other. This should not continue for Baekhyun is tired of this game. With all his force he takes a grip onto the other’s arm and turns him around.

 

”Chanyeol talk to me please!” He raise his voice with sadness.

 

The taller glares with so much hate that Baekhyun feels smaller.

 

”I have nothing to say.” Chanyeol tries to get free but Baekhyun holds him tighter.

 

Tears are already forming in Baekhyun’s eyes but he manage to hold them back.

 

”Please, you have been ignoring me and it hurts me—”

 

”It hurts you?! You know what I’m going to tell you the exact reason why I haven’t talked to you.” Chanyeol growls as he is the one dragging Baekhyun into their bedroom, pushing the smaller onto the bed to sit down. With that movement Baekhyun reminds of the moment at the concert. The scene made him look down in pain.

 

”What did you think when uploading that kind of picture and to even write that caption underneath it?!” Chanyeol spits out.

 

Baekhyun’s eyes widen. So that is the reason. There is so much anger, so much regret and so much pain all at the same time. He can’t chose which one to be the dominant but right now he wants to punch Chanyeol so hard. 

 

And he does. 

 

Within a second he punch Chanyeol directly on his chest and looks at him in his eyes with tears.

 

”How can you say something like that?” Baekhyun finally let out his tears.

 

Chanyeol stayed quiet but his face never changed.

 

”I just wanted to wish you a happy birthday but you totally ignored me after that!” Baekhyun closed his eyes. He thought that Chanyeol say ’I’m sorry’ but what came next hurt him even more.

 

”I ignored you because you are so reckless! How can you write that kind of stuff when all of our fans can see it? Didn’t you ing see that our ship name is viral because of your stupid post?!”

 

Baekhyun did not know how to react to that. He was speechless and he never felt how his tears kept on streaming down his face.

 

”See you can’t even look at me. I trusted you. And not only that, you kept on following me around.”

 

”C-chanyeol…” Baekhyun whispered while sniffling. This time he looked up to meet the other’s eyes. ”I’m sorry…”

 

”That’s not enough—”

 

”All I wanted was to surprise you. All I wanted was to joke around and let you have a wonderful birthday during the concert. I wanted you to accept me as a present. I wanted to take you out on a date after the concert but you left me with Sehun and Kyungsoo instead. I love you so much Chanyeol and I wanted to prove you that I’m not afraid to show my love for my boyfriend. Why do you get angry when I for once did my best to say those words on my Instagram?” Baekhyun can’t believe he still cries. But there he is, looking all devastated. He really did his best and it took a lot of time to be as brave as he was that night when congratulating Chanyeol on his birthday. And this is what he receives? He knows that the other is scared too but that doesn’t mean he can be all fire up and spit harsh words in front of his face.

 

Instead of getting a reply back he gets a pair of long arms around his body and his face is pressed against the firm warm chest. Without knowing Baekhyun has already his arms around Chanyeol too and he tugs firmly on the other’s t-shirt.

 

”I love you Baekhyun.”

 

Before he knows, there is tears dripping on top of his head and that’s when he realize that Chanyeol is crying. He can’t see his face since the taller is hugging him tightly.

 

”Chanyeol…”

 

”I’m just scared..I saw comments about us and I hated them…I..”

 

Baekhyun kind of knew it was because of that. But he kept pushing those thoughts away since Kyungsoo and Chanyeol was all he could see.

 

”You hurt me so damn much…you rejected me in front of our fans. How dare you.” Baekhyun muttered. The pain was so strong that his legs was trembling a bit; he being ready to fall if it isn’t for Chanyeol.

 

”I know and it hurt me too….I got so happy yet scared when I saw you doing all those things.” Chanyeol hides Baekhyun into his chest as he wraps his arms around his head instead. The soft kiss on the crown of his head makes Baekhyun’s heart race and the butterflies are coming back. ”Thank you for being brave, for me, for us and for doing your best for our relationship.” Chanyeol removes his arms and cups Baekhyun’s face. ”Can you forgive this idiot?”

 

Baekhyun’s straight line on his lips tugs upwards and he wastes no time in hugging Chanyeol; hiding his shy smile into the other’s chest.

 

”Only if we can have that date we missed.”

 

”Deal.”

 

”But you are paying.”

 

”Anything for you.”

 

 

 

 

They are scared,

 

they have to pretend,

 

they have to stay away from each other,

 

just so their relationship can survive.

 

But Chanyeol and Baekhyun will do anything in their willpower to keep going forward and be strong. No matter what happens they will fight for their love and what they have. There will always be homophobia among us people and there will always be people hating on them for loving each other but that won’t stop them.

 

With small steps Baekhyun is finally opening himself up to Chanyeol in front of the public. And Chanyeol is slowly trying to get used to it.

 

Everything is going to be alright.

Them together, nothing can stop them.