A/N: I actually finished this ages ago but just never got around to editing and posting it.

“Hey, what do you want for dinner?” Taeyeon asks when she returns from the washroom. “I know you were talking about past—” Her sentence drifts away when she catches sight of Jessica’s blanched face. “Sica?” she asks cautiously. “What’s wrong?”

“What is this?” Jessica asks, holding out her phone, which has an article open. Oh god, no. No Eclair’s no. Taeyeon doesn’t even need to read it; she already knows the words there: Girls’ Generation is an eight-membered group, and past members: Jessica. “Why does it say that I’m not a member anymore?”

Taeyeon opens , but no words come out and she’s left gaping like a fish on dry land. Jessica is holding her phone sideways, so the 8 looks like an infinity sign. How ironic, Taeyeon can’t help but think, remembering their fanchant and how only jigeumeun can apply now.

“I mean, I thought that an anti hacked into the page or something but all the websites say that. And there are these performances of you guys without me…” Jessica shakes her head. “None of this makes any sense. That Tokyo Dome video – I was there for Tokyo Dome, how did they even—”

She’s interrupted by what sounds like a scuffle outside the door, and then it’s thrown open to reveal Tiffany and Sunkyu in the middle of what looks like a fight. An actual, physical fight. It looks like Tiffany’s trying to shove Sunkyu back, presumably from entering the apartment. Why won’t Tiffany let her come in? It’s not like there’s anything incriminating he… Taeyeon stares at Jessica, who’s watching the two of them with an equally confused expression that sharpens into tense determination.

“Hwang Miyoung, Lee Sunkyu, one of you had better tell me what’s going on,” Jessica snaps in a tone she doesn’t use very often.

They both turn toward her, Sunkyu seeming to notice her for the first time, while Tiffany looks vaguely horrified.

“Jessica?” Sunkyu asks in a tone of disbelief. “What are you doing here?”

“I live here,” Jessica says in that deadpan of hers.

“Taeyeon,” Tiffany hisses. “I texted you to tell you to get her out of here.”

“I didn’t check my phone!” And Jessica had. Taeyeon should have taken it away from her when she had the chance.

“So you invited her over but wanted to keep it a secret?” Sunkyu asks in a hurt voice. “I would have wanted to talk to her too.”

“You can talk to me now,” Jessica says. “And what do you mean ‘invited me over’? I live here. I need an invitation to come home, now?”

“You…live here?” Sunkyu repeats, looking somewhere between bewildered and pained. Taeyeon knows the feeling.

“Well, I have my apartment but I still live here most of the time since Taeyeon won’t move out with me.” Jessica rolls her eyes and turns to Taeyeon, whose expression is probably still frozen. “…Tae?”

“I think I need a drink,” Taeyeon says faintly.

Sunkyu (bless her) had bought some soju and cider, and she hands Taeyeon her favourite grapefruit cider only for Taeyeon to shake her head. She wasn’t joking when she said she needed a drink, but the last thing she should be for this conversation is intoxicated.

They settle onto the couch together: Sunkyu confused, Tiffany wary, Taeyeon uneasy and Jessica… Well, her expression isn’t giving away anything, and Taeyeon finds herself missing the playful, smiling Jessica from earlier.

“So you’re saying that what these articles said is true?” Jessica asks, her voice as blank as her expression. “I’m not a member anymore?”

Taeyeon manages a nod somehow.

“And we’re not—” Jessica swallows, looking at her.

“We were never,” Taeyeon says quietly, and Jessica gives a small “oh” in reply. She ducks her head, hair falling over her face, looking so slight and frail that Taeyeon wants to put her arms around her. She almost does it too, except that Tiffany finally speaks.

“I’m sorry, Jessi.” Taeyeon wonders what exactly she’s apologizing for. “I didn’t want this to happen.”

“What to happen?” Jessica asks, expression still hidden by her hair. “Me not being a member anymore or me finding out?”

“Both,” Tiffany says, and Jessica looks up. Her eyes aren’t red or anything, but Taeyeon can’t help worrying that she’s going to cry. She has no idea what she would do if Jessica cried. Hold her, maybe. She realizes that her arms are still halfway raised and quickly drops them. “We didn’t… The thing is… I’m happy you’re here, Jessi. Even if you’re not exactly…”

“Sane?” Jessica supplies.

“…you,” Tiffany finishes. “I mean, I don’t think you’re crazy.”

“Except that I apparently made up almost a year of fake memories, not to mention who knows how many before that.”

“Maybe you didn’t make them up,” Tiffany says, eyebrows knitted together. “I mean, this seems all too…”

“Crazy?” Jessica asks.

“…elaborate for you to have made everything up. Also, stop interrupting me when I’m talking.”

“How am I supposed to ever get a word in then?”

“You sound like our conversations are just one-way.”

“That’s because they are.”

“This feels like I’ve gone back in time,” Sunkyu says conversationally to Taeyeon. “I didn’t realize that I’ve missed their bickering.”

“Me neither.” She doesn’t realize she’s missed a lot of things. She also doesn’t realize that she’s been staring at Jessica until Jessica meets her gaze, only to look away almost immediately. Still, it’s not quickly enough for Jessica to hide the longing in her eyes.

“Anyway,” Tiffany says forcefully. “If you would let me finish my sentence for once, I was going to say that—”

“Jessica,” Taeyeon says, not to mess with Tiffany but because she has to—she has to do something to ease the pain in Jessica’s expression. It’s either saying her name or touching her, and the first one seems easier.

“What?” Jessica asks, her voice hollow.

She could say just because we’re not together doesn’t mean I don’t care about you, or just because you’re not in the group anymore doesn’t mean we like it this way. She could say a lot of things, but what she ends up saying is just “Jessica” again.

Sunkyu looks between the two of them. “Are you sure you’re not secretly dating?”

“Lee Sunkyu!” Taeyeon splutters.

“I’m just saying,” Sunkyu shrugs. “It would explain a lot.”

“It would, wouldn’t it?” Tiffany says thoughtfully. “Like how you two could barely look at each other for years. Well, that you could barely look at Jessi,” she amends, eyes on Taeyeon.

“You couldn’t stand to look at me for years?” Jessica asks quietly.

“It’s not that I couldn’t stand to. It’s just…” Three pairs of expectant eyes are on her, awaiting an answer, but she has none to give. “Shouldn’t we be talking about, you know, the whole fake memories thing instead?”

“That is concerning,” Sunkyu agrees. Jessica’s lips pinch together, but she says nothing.

“Okay, I’m going to say this and none of you had better interrupt me this time,” Tiffany says loudly. Well, even more loudly than usual. Jessica opens , but Tiffany shoots a death glare at her and she closes it. “I really don’t think you’ve lost your mind. I was thinking that…maybe you’re from, like, an alternate universe or something.”

She looks at them expectantly, like she’s waiting for them to fervently agree, and they all just stare blankly at her.

“An alternate universe,” Jessica repeats. “What, do you think we live in a fanfiction?”

Taeyeon coughs to hide her laughter. Judging from the look Tiffany shoots her, it doesn’t work.

“It would make sense, wouldn’t it?” Sunkyu says musingly. “I mean, things are just too different. What did you say, Sica – that you were in a sub-unit with Taeyeon in your—I mean, according to what you remember?”

“Yes,” Jessica says slowly. “That’s how we…became close.” She absolutely doesn’t make eye contact with Taeyeon, who, in contrast, can’t keep her eyes off her.

“But everything else is the same? We still debuted in 2007 and had the same music and everything?”

“We did.”

“You said you were preparing for Party with us.”

“I was.”

It seems that she’s been reduced to short, clipped replies.

“And…you’re happy?” Taeyeon asks.

Jessica looks at her this time, although her eyes give away nothing. “I am,” she says slowly. Her brow furrows. “What about her? Other me, I mean. Is she not?”

Taeyeon bites her lip with such force she almost draws blood.

“We wouldn’t know,” Tiffany says softly, when it becomes obvious that Taeyeon isn’t going to answer. “We haven’t talked since… We haven’t talked since.”

“Oh,” Jessica says.

An awkward silence descends upon them. Taeyeon wishes that Jessica never found out. She had thought that pretending would be difficult, burdensome, but she now wishes that she could go back to that cheerful pretense, that beautiful illusion.

“I wonder what happened to her, then,” Jessica says. “If I’m here.”

“Maybe you switched places,” Sunkyu suggests. “You’re here and she’s in your world.”

“That would make sense.” Jessica runs a hand over her face. “She’s in for the shock of her life then,” she says with a brittle laugh.

The silence returns, even thicker and more suffocating than before. Taeyeon tries to imagine how Jessica would react in that other universe, where she’s still in the group and she’s dating Taeyeon. Her mind completely blanks out at the thought; it’s too strange to even contemplate. She hopes that the revelation wouldn’t be as upsetting as the inverse is for this Jessica.

“!” Tiffany suddenly leaps to her feet. “I just realized. Everyone is going to be home soon.”

“Should I hide?” Jessica asks wearily. “Or I can just leave, go back to my apartment.”

Tiffany frowns. “I’m not chasing you out, Jessi.”

Jessica shrugs. “Well, I’m going to have to leave eventually, since I’m not…”

“Don’t go,” Taeyeon says quietly. Jessica looks at her, the longing back in her eyes, like it’s too tiring to keep it at bay. Taeyeon’s chest aches again, this time for a different reason.

“Nobody is asking you to leave, Sica,” Sunkyu says. “It’s been a long time since we’ve talked to you. I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too,” Tiffany says, voice soft.

Taeyeon says nothing, but she lets her body do what it’s wanted to since the beginning of the conversation and reaches for Jessica. She’s almost afraid that Jessica will flinch away from her touch, but Jessica is only tense for a second before she relaxes, her fingers slipping between Taeyeon’s like they belong there.

“Don’t go,” Taeyeon repeats, and the way Jessica looks at her hurts.

“I won’t,” Jessica says.

The solution for Jessica not leaving but staying out of the way when the girls come home is to temporarily stay in one of their rooms. Tiffany is about to offer her own, but Taeyeon beats her to it and then says that she wants to talk to Jessica. They walk off together, hands finally separating, and Tiffany and Sunkyu look after them with similar expressions.

“Well,” Sunkyu says. “I didn’t see that coming.”

Tiffany redirects her gaze to her. “What, Jessica coming from some other universe?”

“Well yes, that, but Taeyeon’s reaction is almost more shocking.”

“You should have seen her reaction when Jessi first called,” Tiffany says with a quirk of . “I had to take her phone from her because she was totally freaking out.”

Sunkyu blows out a breath. “I don’t know how you didn’t freak out too.”

“Believe me, I almost did.” But Taeyeon was already falling apart next to her, and Tiffany knew that she had to pull herself together for both their sakes. For all their sakes. “I just can’t believe…any of this.”

“That makes two of us. When I saw her here – and thanks for almost killing me, by the way – I just thought that she came over. Our Jessica, I mean.”

“Do you really think that Taeyeon would invite her over? Would make any kind of voluntary contact with her?”

Sunkyu doesn’t answer, but the look she gives Tiffany says it all. “You would though. I know you miss her.”

“I know you do too. That’s why you sent that message to her on your radio show, right?”

“Not that it’s done anything,” Sunkyu sighs.

“Maybe…maybe this is something,” Tiffany says. “Maybe this is fate’s way of letting us know that Jessica misses us too.”

“You believe in fate now?”

“I believe that this – us not talking to each other, shutting each other out – isn’t how we’re meant to be.”

Sunkyu is quiet for a moment. “And you think that Taeyeon and Jessica are meant to be?”

“Well, I’m not Cupid, but I’m not imagining the”—Tiffany makes a hand gesture—“whatever’s going on between them, am I?”

Sunkyu makes an acquiescent sound. “I haven’t seen Taeyeon look at Jessica like that in—I don’t even remember. Maybe never.”

“When Jessica called Taeyeon, she was so…affectionate.” Tiffany doesn’t think that word is quite enough; she hasn’t found her Korean lacking in a long time, but she can’t think of a word in English either for the way Jessica talked to Taeyeon, looked at Taeyeon. “I told Taeyeon to act like she has feelings for her too, so we could figure out what was happening. I didn’t think she could actually do it that well.”

Sunkyu frowns. “I don’t think Taeyeon is that good of an actress.”

Tiffany’s gaze is heavy. “Neither do I.”

Jessica probably wants to lie down on the bed, but she’s just sitting on the edge of it, back in a stiff line and hands in her lap. “You don’t have to do this, you know.”

“Do what?” Taeyeon asks, settling into her chair after a beat of hesitation.

“Talk to me. Stay in the same room as me.” Jessica keeps her eyes lowered. “Not if it makes you uncomfortable.”

“I’m not uncomfortable.” She’s not. She’s not quite comfortable either, but she’s not uncomfortable.

“You don’t have to lie to me to spare my feelings either.”

“I’m not lying,” Taeyeon says. “I wasn’t lying either when—”

Jessica finally looks at her. “When what?”

“I wasn’t lying,” Taeyeon repeats. “You know I’m not that good of an actress. I’m a terrible one, actually.”

“I wouldn’t know,” Jessica says, eyes flickering away.

Taeyeon swallows. “Am I…nothing like your Taeyeon?”

“My Taeyeon is…” Jessica’s face softens, like just talking about her warrants such a reaction, and something twists in Taeyeon’s stomach. “Very similar to you, really. Or you’re very similar to her. You’re just—similar. Yeah.”

Taeyeon can’t help but laugh at that. Jessica’s really too cute sometimes.

“Thanks,” Jessica says awkwardly, and Taeyeon realizes she had said the last part out loud. She clears , the sound disproportionately loud in the sudden silence between them. “Am I really different from your Jessica?”

“My Jes—the Jessica from here is… Well.” Taeyeon shrugs, unsure how to convey we didn’t interact all that much so I can’t say too much about her. That’s not entirely true anyway; she’s pretty sure that she knows more about Jessica than she would like to admit.

“Did you hate her?” Jessica asks in a small voice.

“No!” Taeyeon’s voice cracks again. “I never hated her.”

“Did she hate you?”

“Um, no? I don’t think so anyway.”

Jessica nods, like it’s the answer she expected. “Did she like you?”

Taeyeon’s throat is dry. “Like—as a person, or…?”

Jessica’s gaze doesn’t falter. “Either way.”

Taeyeon laughs; it sounds forced to her own ears. She can’t imagine how it sounds to Jessica’s. “I can’t answer for her. I don’t want to presume anything.”

“How considerate of you,” Jessica says dryly.

“Well, I—” Taeyeon doesn’t know she what, and she’s saved by the bell. Or well, the knock on the door. Judging by how loud and forceful it is, she already knows who did it.

“I hope I didn’t interrupt a Moment,” Tiffany says with her standard Smile™.

What if you did, Taeyeon almost asks, even though what just passed was pretty much the opposite of a Moment. A mOMENT, maybe.

“Did you want something?” Jessica asks politely.

“I wanted to talk to you,” Tiffany says carefully, “if that’s okay with you, I mean.”

Jessica shrugs. “Sure.”

Tiffany glances at Taeyeon. “Sorry to take Jessi away from you, TaeTae.”

Taeyeon gives an airy laugh. “Make sure you give her back.”

“I’m not a library book,” Jessica says.

“Too bad,” Tiffany says brightly, “because I’m pretty sure Taeyeon wants to check you out.”

Taeyeon is going to strangle Tiffany.

“Well,” Jessica says, after a moment. “It’s good to know that some things never change. You’re still as annoying as ever.”

“Hey!” Tiffany says indignantly.

Taeyeon smiles. Or maybe she’ll keep Tiffany around a little longer to watch her and Jessica fight it out. Ooh, she’ll make some popcorn.

Jessica lets her eyes wander over Tiffany’s room, even though it’s barely any different. This Tiffany definitely loves pink as much as ever, which is strangely reassuring. Jessica can’t imagine any universe where Tiffany isn’t obsessed with pink.

“Sorry I interrupted you and Taeyeon earlier,” Tiffany says. “I know you two must have a lot to talk about.”

Jessica shrugs. “I’m sure Taeyeon was glad you saved her from me.”

“You make yourself sound like a monster,” Tiffany says with a laugh that falls flat.

“Ste—Fany,” Jessica corrects herself, noticing the way Tiffany’s face changes at the nickname.

“That’s a new way to pronounce my name,” Tiffany says jokingly. This – her deflecting with humour – is at least something that Jessica is used to. Compared to Taeyeon, Tiffany’s barely changed at all. Jessica doesn’t know if she finds that reassuring or disquieting.

“Are we not friends either?” Jessica asks. “Or were, I should say.”

“I’ve always thought of you as my friend,” Tiffany says, nothing but sincerity in her voice. “Things have been…complicated but. You’re like my sister. That doesn’t just go away.”

Jessica swallows, wondering how the other Jessica would react at this revelation. She doesn’t need to be reassured about their bond in her universe, but things are indeed…complicated here. Complicated and turbulent and different. Very different.

Tiffany studies her for a moment. “You really love Taeyeon, don’t you?”

“Of course I do,” Jessica’s heart speaks before her brain can kick in.

“And she loves you just as much, doesn’t she?”

“Well.” Jessica feels a blush coming on and tries to stamp down on it. “I hope so.”

“It must be…upsetting for you to be here then,” Tiffany says quietly. “I’m sorry.”

Jessica’s mouth quirks up. “Thanks for the reminder that this Taeyeon can’t stand me.”

“You know that’s not true. Taeyeon can’t act if her life depends on it. If it seems that she likes you, it’s because she does.”

Jessica snorts. “I’m supposed to believe that she likes me but couldn’t look at me for years?”

Tiffany shrugs. “Maybe she couldn’t look at you because she likes you too much.”

“Wow,” Jessica says with a laugh. “What a theory.”

“Believe me, there are all sorts of theories about you and Taeyeon.”

“What kind of theories?” Jessica asks curiously.

There’s a part of her that feels like she’s watching a movie or a drama, only she’s in it. The nightmarish feeling of dread that she would expect isn’t there yet; she fully expects to wake up from this world back in her own, next to Taeyeon who would give her that dimpled smile and kiss her with lips tasting of the cinnamon toothpaste Jessica has begun to associate with her.

“Wellllll,” Tiffany draws out the word. “There’s a rather common one that you…”

Taeyeon and Sunkyu both look up when they hear a peal of laughter from Tiffany’s room, so loud that they can make it out clearly even though her door is closed.

“It’s good to see that Tiffany and Jessica are getting along as well as ever,” Sunkyu says. “Or as well as they used to, I should say.”

“They were always close, weren’t they?”

“Are you jealous?” Sunkyu asks, amused.

“Why would I be jealous?” Taeyeon frowns. “Just because Tiffany’s my best friend doesn’t mean I get jealous at her other friends.”

“I wasn’t talking about Tiffany but okay.”

Taeyeon’s lips pinch together. “What are you implying, exactly?”

“I’m not implying anything,” Sunkyu says, her gaze steady. “I’m asking straight out if you have feelings for Jessica.”

Taeyeon’s lips part, and then close, nothing but air escaping them. “Which one?”

Sunkyu leans back, exhales. “Taeyeon. How long have you felt this way?”

“Well, considering that she only called about two hours ago—”

“You know what I mean.”

Taeyeon thinks about it for a moment. “I don’t know,” she says honestly. “Maybe minutes. Maybe years.”

It feels strangely liberating to say it, like she’s been hiding this for ages even though she only realized it just now. It’s like she’s expelled a breath she’s been holding for a decade. She can finally breathe now.

“Tae?”

Her head swivels around immediately at that voice. Jessica’s smiling at her the way she had before this whole…situation was revealed.

“Do people really think that we fought over Tiffany?”

Sunkyu bursts into laughter, almost falling off the couch. Taeyeon can only say, “Umm…”

“I mean, Tiffany?” Jessica wrinkles her nose, like the very idea is gross and like Tiffany isn’t standing right next to her. “For the sake of my ears, you can have her.”

“Hey!” Tiffany looks Extremely Hurt. Taeyeon has seen that look too many times to fall for it. “You wish you could have me.”

“Yes, I wish I could go deaf.” Jessica glances at Sunkyu. “It would save me from this one’s aegyo too. Well, half of it anyway.”

“Aww, Sica,” Sunkyu croons in her most exaggerated aegyo voice. “You love me so much you’d give up your hearing for me?”

Jessica actually takes a step back, her face scrunching up like she’s going to be sick. Taeyeon hasn’t seen her react to Sunkyu’s aegyo in a long time. Then again, Sunkyu hasn’t done aegyo in a long time, at least not so blatantly.

“Jessi loves me more,” Tiffany interjects. “Don’t you, Jessi?”

“Actually,” Jessica says, her eyes on Taeyeon. “I love Taengoo the most.”

Taeyeon’s stomach flips again, or maybe this time it’s her heart. Either way, she’s not left feeling unsettled but rather the opposite. This Jessica may not be from the right universe, but maybe they can make things right in this universe. Maybe they can’t return to before, but they can create a new after. Maybe…

She reaches for Jessica’s hand, and Jessica’s fingers slip between hers like both a possibility and a promise.

A/N: Okay so this is definitely the end and there won't be any more to If Oniy. As for What If - I do have more written and I intend to finish it but I'm just way too tired and busy these days to write.

The parallels to What If - Jessica picking up cupcakes (versus Tiffany doing it in What If), JeTi talking about pasta, Sunkyu joining TaeNySic - are intentional and supposed to reflect that they're parallel universes.