A/N: I wrote parts of this many months ago (I actually started this last year, immediately after finishing RPWT because I knew I couldn't let their story end like that) and other parts last week during an all-nighter so this is so chaotic and dissonant in some parts lmao I can't.

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Tiffany’s been in more photoshoots than she can remember. When she first started off as an idol, she held onto every photoshoot, every variety show, every live stage, and hoarded them in her memory like someone would snatch them away from her if she didn’t fight to remember. She’s used to fighting; she had fought so much for this and now that she has it, she can’t help but wonder if she should have fought for her.

She takes a long look in the mirror and sees Tiffany of Girls’ Generation staring back, with the shadow of Tiffany Hwang lingering somewhere in the very backs of her eyes. With great effort, she pushes her back and polishes her idol skin. She can’t afford to slip now, of all times.

“You’ve been really quiet today,” Juhyun, as observant as always, notes. “Is everything okay?”

Tiffany takes a look at the logos staring back at them on the clothing and offers a thin smile. “Just trying to save my voice for the show tomorrow.”

Juhyun doesn’t look convinced, but she doesn’t press Tiffany further. “Where did Taeyeon unnie go? She left and just never came back.”

“That sounds really ominous. Are you trying to jinx me, Juhyunnie?” Taeyeon pops up and asks with a smile. Normally, Tiffany would smile too, but she doesn’t feel very normal right now.

“I wouldn’t try to jinx you,” Juhyun says. “You’re superstitious enough.”

That makes Tiffany smile, just a little.

Taeyeon makes a face. “I was just taking a closer look at the clothes we’d be wearing today. They have some nice stuff, don’t you think?”

“Yeah,” Tiffany says softly. She had expected nothing less.

“I hope they don’t make me say the brand’s name,” Taeyeon says. “I would probably butcher the pronunciation. And I heard the CEO will be here today, I don’t want to—”

“Jessica’s going to be here?” Tiffany blurts out.

“Do you know her, unnie?” Juhyun asks curiously.

“I—” Does she know Jessica? She used to think that she knew Jessica better than anyone, maybe even herself, but she doesn’t know if that Jessica still exists. “We’ve met,” she gets out in a somewhat normal voice.

“She’s pretty,” Taeyeon says casually, and Tiffany has to force herself not to bristle. “I heard she’s received offers from entertainment companies before but she turned them all down.”

“She has no interest in the entertainment industry,” Tiffany says in a low voice, mostly to herself.

“Sorry, what did you say?” Juhyun asks. “I missed that.”

“Nothing.” Tiffany clears . “Just—talking to myself.”

“Is your voice broken, Fany?” Taeyeon says. “I haven’t heard you this quiet since you had a cold.”

Tiffany pastes on a smile. “I guess I’m feeling a bit under the weather.”

“Are you okay, unnie?” Juhyun asks, her forehead creased with concern.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Maybe if she says it enough, she’ll believe it. “Totally fine.”

 

Blanc & Eclare’s designs – Jessica’s designs – are simple but elegant, and as Tiffany puts on item after item, she can’t help but think about how Jessica’s time, Jessica’s style, Jessica’s passion have gone into these clothes. These are the fruits of Jessica’s labour, the culmination of her dream. It’s—interesting that their dreams, different as they are, have brought them back together, years later and halfway across the world.

Tiffany thinks about that as they take a break from shooting, hanging out in a relatively isolated alcove away from the cameras and other people. When she left for Seoul, it was the wrong time, but now… They’re in the same place at the same time, but they’re no longer the same people. Even after all these years, Tiffany hasn’t been able to let go of Jessica and she wonders if Jessica has been able to let go of her.

She hears heels clicking against the ground and looks up to see a slim brunette woman in a white sweater and dark jeans. Jessica Jung, CEO of Blanc & Eclare. Tiffany stops breathing.

Jessica’s eyes sweep over the three of them, not lingering on anyone. She smiles. “Hi, I’m Jessica Jung.”

Tiffany is usually the first one to introduce herself, but she can do nothing except stare at Jessica, feeling like she’s lost the ability to speak. Jessica looks so beautiful. Of course, Jessica has always been pretty, but now with the way time has shaped her features, complemented by her makeup and hair, she just—wow. Tiffany is surrounded day in, day out by some of the most attractive people in the country, but none of them can hold a candle to Jessica.

“Hello, Jessica ssi,” Juhyun says politely. “Thank you for having us.”

“Thank you for agreeing to do this shoot. It’s a pleasure to have you here.” Jessica’s smile isn’t the one that Tiffany remembers; it’s a lot more practiced and polished but it looks genuine, at least.

“It’s great to be here,” Taeyeon says, nudging Tiffany in the shoulder. “Don’t mind Tiffany here. She usually talks a lot more than this.”

Jessica laughs, her eyes flickering to Tiffany with nothing more than casual interest, no recognition in her eyes. “I’ve heard.”

“Hmm?” Taeyeon asks.

“I’m—a Sone,” Jessica says with a shy smile that hasn’t changed.

Taeyeon grins. “Who’s your bias?”

Tiffany knows she shouldn’t be so staring so intently at Jessica, but she couldn’t have pulled her eyes away for the world.

Jessica looks down, hair falling over her face. “Yoona ssi.”

Taeyeon makes a sad face. “Come on, Jessica ssi, you’re breaking my heart here.”

Tiffany can’t really feel her own right now and she’s grateful for it.

“You don’t have to add the ssi,” Jessica says. “Just Jessica is fine.”

“Okay, Just Jessica,” Taeyeon says, and Jessica smiles, no longer so shy this time. Tiffany looks between the two of them and tries not to feel—tries not to feel anything at all.

“I really like your sunglasses,” Taeyeon says. “Especially the dark pair Hara wore.”

Jessica perks up. “The New York?”

“Yeah. I tried to order a pair but they were sold out.”

“Those were more popular than I anticipated. I can place a special order for you if you want.”

Taeyeon gives a lopsided smile. “I get a special order?”

Jessica smiles too, but it’s a cordial, close-mouthed one. “A couple of people have asked me personally for the New York, so it’s one of my priorities.”

“Fany likes the New York ones too but she was sad that they don’t come in pink.”

“Blush,” escapes Tiffany’s mouth.

Jessica and Taeyeon both turn to her.

Tiffany’s mouth feels bone-dry, and she swipes her tongue over her lips. She doesn’t miss the way Jessica’s eyes track the motion. “I like Paris and Shanghai. The blush.”

“The only ones that came in pink?” Jessica says wryly, eyebrows faintly arching, and suddenly this is the Jessica she knows, the Jessica she loves.

“It’s not just because they’re pink, I genuinely like the styles!”

“Well, I’m flattered.” Jessica smiles, and this isn’t the polite smile she gave to Taeyeon just now, this is her real smile, virtually unchanged all these years later. “I would be more flattered if you wore them.”

“How would you know if I’ve worn them or not?”

“My team keeps a close watch on which celebrities wear B&E.” And suddenly Jessica’s smile changes, reverts to the professional one. “You’ve never been photographed wearing them.”

“I don’t wear them,” Tiffany admits in a soft voice. “I just—have them. I like—I like knowing that…” dries, and she can’t finish the sentence, not that she would have known what to say anyway. Jessica looks at her like—she looks the way she did when Tiffany said “I want to, but,” like she wants to pull Tiffany to her and push her away at the same time.

Someone clears their throat, and Tiffany’s head jerks around. She sees Taeyeon looking at her with a raised eyebrow and Juhyun studying her, and she realizes that she had completely forgotten about them. She had forgotten herself too, and it’s a mistake she shouldn’t be making at this stage.

“Well.” Jessica smiles. “It was really nice meeting you, Taeyeon ssi, Seohyun ssi, Tiffany ssi.”

“You too, Jessica ssi,” Juhyun says. Taeyeon echoes the sentiment. Tiffany stays silent, afraid of what her voice will give away if she speaks.

“Thank you for supporting Blanc & Eclare,” Jessica says. “I’ll definitely get you the New York, Taeyeon ssi.”

“You can just call me Taeyeon.”

“Taeyeon,” Jessica says, and Taeyeon looks at Tiffany like she’s checking for her reaction.

Tiffany keeps her eyes on Jessica. “Can I talk to you for a minute, Jessica ssi? In private.”

“I have some things to discuss with the design team right now, actually.” Jessica’s voice is calm, collected; polite and professional.

“Afterwards, then?”

“It’s probably going to take a while.”

“I’ll wait.”

Jessica looks at Tiffany like she’s being an unreasonable child. “Don’t you have schedules, Tiffany ssi? You’re a really busy idol, and I’m quite occupied myself.”

“I’ll make time for you.”

Jessica sort of sighs and smiles at the same time, like she realizes there’s no point in arguing with Tiffany. “Okay, then. I’ll talk to you later, Tiff.”

Tiffany freezes for a second but then recovers and unleashes her brightest smile at Jessica, who looks a little dazed. “Later, Jessi.”

Feeling much lighter, almost weightless, she links arms with Taeyeon and Juhyun and leads them back to the set.

“So you’ve ‘met,’” Taeyeon says, voice heavy with skepticism. “You seem a lot more familiar than that.”

“Well, we have met. We’re not strangers.”

“She called you ‘Tiff,’” Juhyun notes. “I haven’t heard anyone calling you that before, unnie.”

“It’s an English nickname,” Tiffany says, and then they’re back with cameras and lights and there’s no more room for Kim Taeyeon and Seo Juhyun and Tiffany Hwang, just TaeTiSeo.

 

Tiffany looks down at her wrist even though she isn’t wearing a watch, feeling an invisible timer tick away. Her manager wasn’t happy to hear that she wanted to stay behind, but she had reached a stage of being able to bargain with (defy) them, to make requests (demands) of her company rather than merely the other way around. When she expressed that she wanted to talk further with Jessica Jung, of course without mentioning their past, he asked, “Can’t it wait?” and she said “No, it can’t,” with an edge to her voice that surprised both of them.

She’s waited so many years for Jessica (or has it been the other way around?); now that they’re finally together under the same roof again, Tiffany isn’t going to let the opportunity slip away. She isn’t going to let Jessica slip away, not without a fight.

The crisp sound of heels breaks through her thoughts, and then Jessica appears in front of her like a vision that makes her want to pinch herself as a reality check.

“You wanted to speak to me, Tiffany ssi?” Jessica asks, polite and distant, like she’s a client who requested an appointment.

“Yes. Yes, I did.” Jessica looks at her expectantly, but for once Tiffany doesn’t have anything to say. She just looks back at Jessica, stares at her the way she’s yearned to for years.

Jessica averts her gaze. “What did you want to talk to me about?” she asks, quieter now, a hint of hesitance seeping into her words, like she regretted coming here.

What did she want to talk about? There were a lot of things she wanted to say, things she wanted to ask, but suddenly she can’t think of a single one of them.

“Or did you just want to stare at me all day?” Jessica asks wryly.

“Can I?” Tiffany’s brain to mouth filter has evidently taken a vacation.

Jessica gives an awkward-sounding chuckle. “Somehow I think that would interfere with your job.”

“My job,” Tiffany repeats in a low voice.

“You’re—you’re an idol now. Not just any idol but part of one of the most popular groups in the country.”

It doesn’t matter, Tiffany wants to tell her. It doesn’t matter that I’m an idol, because I’m still Tiffany. I’m still Tiffany and I still love you.

She doesn’t say any of it, of course. Her brain to mouth filter has returned at the mention of “her job,” and after all these years in the industry she knows better than to say what’s on her mind, or, even worse, what’s in her heart.

“And I’m so proud of you,” Jessica says softly. “I knew you could do this. You were always meant to be a star.”

The pride and faith in Jessica’s voice shake something loose in Tiffany’s chest that wasn’t secure in the first place. Maybe it’s not falling apart; maybe it’s falling into place, now that its owner is finally here.

“What about you?”

Jessica blinks. “Me?”

“I didn’t know you wanted to do fashion.”

“I didn’t know either. Not at first.” Jessica smiles a little. “I almost ended up pursuing literature.”

Tiffany can picture that. Jessica had always loved reading, had spent many nights curled up on the couch with a worn paperback and her feet in Tiffany’s lap.

“Blanc & Eclare is so successful,” Tiffany says. “I’m proud of you too.”

Jessica’s shy smile returns. “That means a lot coming from you, Tiff,” she says, nothing but sincerity in her voice.

“I barely know anything about fashion, Jessi,” Tiffany laughs.

“Yeah, I’ve seen the stuff you put on your dog.” Jessica wrinkles her nose. “And by the way, what kind of name is Prince Fluffy?”

“You supported Fluffy as a name! I just made it even better by adding Prince in front of it.”

“Okay, Tiff,” Jessica says, and—it’s been so long since she’s heard those words in that tone, that voice. She takes a breath and has to push it past the stitch in her chest. “Let me guess – you’re going to get another dog and name it Princess.”

Tiffany’s eyes widen. “How did you know that?”

“You—” Jessica shuts , which had fallen open. “I was just kidding. You’re really going to?”

“Well, I think Prince wants a friend. It gets lonely being by yourself, you know.”

“Yes,” Jessica murmurs. “I know.”

They stare at each other again, and this time Tiffany is the one to look away.

“So.” Tiffany clears . “How’s Krystal?”

“She’s good. Still a brat. She’s taller than me now.”

“Is she?” Tiffany asks with a smile.

“Yeah.” Jessica rolls her eyes. “And she never fails to remind me.”

“That sounds like Krystal.”

“She’s a trainee now,” Jessica adds. “She was street casted.”

“A trainee,” Tiffany repeats. She hasn’t seen Krystal in years, but somehow it isn’t very surprising. There’s always been a…presence about Krystal, something that sets her apart, that doesn’t let you look away. Jessica has the same thing going for her.

“Yeah, she’s a big fan of your group.” Jessica smiles. “Yoona’s actually her bias.”

“Who’s yours?” Tiffany blurts out, the filter breaking again.

Jessica’s mouth twists into something that could be either a smile or a frown. “Isn’t it obvious?”

“Let’s say it’s not.”

“It’s you, of course,” Jessica says quietly. “How could it be anyone else?”

Those words make the thing in her chest bang against her ribs so hard she hears a ringing in her ears. She almost rubs at them to make sure she hadn’t heard wrong, but with the way Jessica’s looking at her she knows exactly what she heard.

“Taeyeon will be heartbroken,” she gets out somehow.

“I’m sure she’ll live,” Jessica says, after a moment. “She’s…livelier than I expected.”

“I think she likes you,” Tiffany says, gauging Jessica’s reaction.

“I hope so,” Jessica says, and something sinks in Tiffany’s stomach. “It would be great for B&E if she wore my things.”

“Is that what you want from us: advertising?”

Jessica’s eyes flash. “Yeah, I’m an opportunistic shark like that.”

“I didn’t mean it like—”

“It’s okay if you did,” Jessica interrupts her. “For all you know, I could be. It’s been a long time since we… It’s been a long time, you know.”

“I know.” How could she forget? “But I know you. I know you’re not that kind of person.”

Jessica doesn’t say anything, but her eyes clearly ask do you really? Do you really know me? and Tiffany wishes that she could confidently answer yes.

“It was nice to see you again, Tiffany,” Jessica says, polite but clearly a dismissal.

“Yeah. You too, Jessica.”

Once again, Tiffany is the one to walk away, and once again, she can’t bear to. She turns around and sees Jessica staring after her with an expression that cuts right through her. Jessica tucks the look away quickly enough, but not enough to hide it from Tiffany.

Tiffany almost can’t get out her question, has to shove it past the lump in . “You love fashion, right?”

Jessica takes a moment to answer, her eyes fixed on Tiffany like she had forgotten what she looks like, or like she’s trying to save the memory. “Right,” she says.

“And – you love Blanc and Eclare, right?”

“Right.”

“And…”

Jessica raises her eyebrows. “Are you trying to make a list of the things I love?”

Am I on that list? Tiffany can’t help but wonder, but she doesn’t ask, she can’t. And yet, judging by the look on Jessica’s face, Tiffany has a feeling she can hear it.

Jessica clears , glances away. “Is pink still on your list?”

“My list?”

“Of the things you love.”

Tiffany stays silent for a moment, long enough that Jessica returns her eyes to her. She feels like they’re playing a game of Hot Potato with eye contact, like neither of them can bear to look at the other for long.

“Do you know what’s on that list?” Tiffany whispers, her usual volume having left her.

Jessica stares at her for so long that Tiffany feels the thing in her chest rattle. “Girls’ Generation?” she says, and the words hit Tiffany like a blow to the sternum. “Sones?”

Tiffany opens and, finding nothing to say in reply, closes it, her usual verbosity having left her. A lot of things are leaving her, things that she thought were part of her.

“What’s this I hear about Sones?” comes a cheerful voice. “Is Fany giving you a private concert that I wasn’t aware of, Jessica ssi?”

Taeyeon walks in, smiling and cheerful. Tiffany doesn’t know if she wants to hug or strangle her.

Jessica gives a weak laugh. “No, I wish.”

“You can tell us your wish, you know,” Taeyeon says with a playful smile.

Tiffany tells herself that Taeyeon is just being friendly, that she isn’t flirting with Jessica, and even if she is flirting with Jessica, Tiffany has no right to be jealous. Jessica isn’t her girlfriend; Jessica isn’t her anything, really, even though she’s Tiffany’s everything.

“Not that we’d necessarily grant it,” Taeyeon adds.

Jessica laughs again, and this time it isn’t so weak.

“Fany.” Taeyeon turns to her, and she has to force herself to look at Taeyeon, has to reminds her eyes that there are other things to look at besides Jessica. “Manager oppa is close to tearing his hair out. He says that we really have to go now. A capital n on the now.”

“You should go, Tiffany ssi,” Jessica says. “I wouldn’t want to cause you any trouble with your company.”

Tiffany’s already in trouble, such deep trouble that SM seems like a distant worry in comparison.

“I didn’t mean to interrupt your conversation so rudely,” Taeyeon says apologetically. “I just really had to find Tiffany before our manager has an aneurysm.”

“You weren’t rude,” Jessica says. “We finished our conversation anyway, didn’t we Tiffany ssi?”

Every “Tiffany ssi” out of Jessica’s mouth hurts, like the words are being punched into her. She wonders how much more impact she can take, wonders how bruised she’ll be later.

“I just had one last question,” Tiffany says, her voice threatening to give out on her. “If you’ll let me ask it, I mean.”

Jessica gives a small smile. “Have I ever been able to say no to you?”

It takes Taeyeon nudging her for Tiffany to find her voice again. She vaguely thinks that she probably shouldn’t be talking to Jessica like this, looking at her like this with an audience, but a) this is Taeyeon and b) she can’t find her idol skin to retreat into anymore.

“I just wanted to ask – are you happy now?”

Jessica blinks, like it’s not the question she expected at all. “I should be,” she says after a long moment.

Those three words stay with Tiffany long after Taeyeon leads (drags) her away.