Yuta hated the feeling of frustration and the feeling of confusion and when they were merged together, the Japanese male wanted to rip his hair out from the roots.

Yuta had been running around aimlessly at the campus grounds after the whole thing with Taeyong. He was still angry, both at Jaehyun and at Taeyong for keeping him in the dark but he was also angry at himself because he was feeling angry. It was a tangled mess of anger and Yuta couldn’t seem to find the end of it.

“Yuta?” a familiar voice called out, halting the other’s pacing.

“Taeil hyung, hi.” Yuta said, panting a bit.

Taeil raised an eyebrow. “Uhm, why are you here at this hour?” He asked carefully, eyes drifting to the trees behind Yuta.

Yuta followed his gaze, knowing that it was strange to find someone by the arch at this time. The university had some strange urban legends about the arch and as expected, majority of them happened in the night.  Taeyong was the one that believed in those, always telling Yuta to avoid the place once darkness fell. The thought made Yuta scoff. Was he rebelling against Taeyong even subconsciously?

“Yuta?” Taeil repeated.

“ Oh, sorry, spaced out.” Yuta answered before he shrugged. “ I wanted to think.”

“By the arch? When Taeyong explicitly told you, told all of us, to stay away at night?”

Yuta stiffened at the name, shrugging again. “Don’t care.” He cleared his throat loudly, feeling more than hearing the older’s confusion. “Uh, so what brings you here, hyung?”

Taeil raised the cat in his arms. “Chewbacca ran away when I was walking her.”

Yuta made a face, petting the cat. “You shouldn’t have allowed Hansol hyung to name your cat. Seriously, what kind of a name is Chewbacca?”

“She likes her name!” taeil huffed, pulling the cat closer to him. “Don’t you, princess?” He cooed, nuzzling the cat.

“You got Hansol hyung’s weirdness.” Yuta accused but he said it in a wistful tone.

“Let’s hope Tae doesn’t get your rudeness then.” Taeil retorted, frowning when Yuta got silent. He heaved a deep sigh, holding Chewbacca in one hand while the other pulled on the younger’s arm. “Come on. If you want a place to think, you can crash at ours. Taeyong would kill me if I got you sick or worse, abducted by the ghost here.”

“Hyuuuung!” Yuta whined childishly, clinging to the older.

“Yes, yes, hyung is here.” Taeil said gently, patting the other’s head.

--

Hansol did not look happy to see Yuta trailing after his current boyfriend. Yuta wondered if because he was intruding in the couple’s private time or if Taeyong had already called Hansol. He stopped thinking about the second option before it could grow; why would Taeyong even worry about him? He was probably calling Jaehyun again or was hanging out at Doyoung and Jaehyun’s place. The mere thought gave another pang to Yuta’s heart and he shook his head vehemently.

“Why are you so nice to our dongsaengs?” Hansol whined, hugging Taeil from behind.

Taeil laughed. “Don’t be mean to them, Han. I couldn’t just leave Yuta there.”

“Yes and Yuta is still here.” Yuta said, rolling his eyes. “Maybe I should just go. I think Hansol hyung would poison me if I stay here.”

Hansol smirked. “My special recipe.”

Taeil smacked Hansol’s hand, pulling away from the other. “Don’t be rude to our guest, Han. Now, I’m going to make dinner. You and Chewbacca can both comfort Yuta.”

Yuta and Hansol groaned but one pointed look from Taeil got the two of them moving to the couch, Chewbacca dutifully following after them. Yuta let out another groan while he settled on the couch, not really wanting to talk about what happened. Knowing Taeil though, Yuta wouldn’t be able to go home until some things cleared up. He looked at Hansol who sat down at the other end of the couch, feeling a bit grateful that it wasn’t Taeil who was interrogating him.

“So, what did Taeyong do?” Hansol asked.

Yuta kicked the older’s shin. “What made you say that it was Taeyong? Did he call you?”

“Stop being violent.” Hansol said, making a face. “And no, Tae didn’t call me.”

“Oh.”

Hansol rolled his eyes. “Don’t sound so disappointed. He probably already guessed you’d be here. Besides, Taeil would send him a message sooner or later.” He nudged Yuta’s knee. “So spill. What happened this time?”

“What do you mean this time? Besides, I could be upset about things that aren’t related to Taeyong.” Yuta said petulantly, bringing Chewbacca on his lap.

“Stop trying to sound cryptic, Nakamoto. It doesn’t suit you.” Hansol sighed. “So, this isn’t about Taeyong?”

Yuta pouted, petting Chewbacca and keeping his eyes focused on the cat. “It is.”

“See.”

“I’m not always upset about Taeyong though!”

“Not directly about Taeyong but things related to him. Like Taeyong doesn’t want to sleep, doesn’t want to rest or Taeyong spends too much time in the library that you don’t see him anymore.” Hansol enumerated.

Yuta tensed, causing the cat on his lap to meow sadly. “Hyung…” The last one was all too familiar to the two of them.

Hansol raised an eyebrow, looking completely unaffected by what he said but Yuta wondered if that was really the case. Well, Hansol had to be okay about their breakup now since he was already dating Taeil but what if there were still some bitter feelings there?

Yuta complaining that Taeyong spent too much time in the library was usually the start of their most repetitive arguments before. Hansol had joked that maybe Taeyong didn’t want to see the two of them together and Yuta hadn’t liked it, the phantom ache for the other only intensifying. Hansol had accused Yuta of favoring Taeyong over him and the arguments would get bigger.

Looking back at it now, Yuta couldn’t remember denying the accusation, only bringing up another thing to counter what Hansol said.

“You never denied it.” Hansol said quietly, as if reading what was on Yuta’s mind.

“I know. I’m sorry.” Yuta mumbled.

Hansol chuckled. “What are you sorry for?”

“I shouldn’t have just… accepted it. I should have denied what you said.”

Hansol rolled his eyes, kicking Yuta’s thigh. “You didn’t deny it because what I said was true, idiot. Remember what I said when I broke up with you? Think back to that and maybe you’ll figure out what’s going on between you and Tae right now.”

Yuta pursed his lips, absentmindedly petting the cat. He had never explained to anyone why he and Hansol broke up. He guessed that Taeil knew through Hansol but Yuta had never said anything to anyone, not even Taeyong, especially not him.

Even after almost a year since his breakup with Hansol, Yuta still didn’t understand what Hansol was trying to tell him. Hansol had only handed him a picture of himself, telling Yuta that he was breaking up with him and that the reason was in that photograph. Yuta hadn’t even noticed that Hansol had taken a picture of him that day but he remembered perfectly what was happening when that picture was taken.

Taeyong had just finished performing on the school’s latest dance showcase and their group of friends had all come to watch and support him. Yuta had even gotten Taeyong some flowers and made a sign with the other’s name on it. The shot was taken when Yuta was watching Taeyong during the end of the showcase, a special stage with just a few select performers.

“Was it because I brought Tae flowers then?” Yuta asked, finally attempting to talk about it.

Hansol sighed again. “Partly, yes but no. You’re a photographer, aren’t you? I told you to take a good look at the picture but you still haven’t figured it out.”

“The picture was me, just me. What, are you telling me I’m ugly?” Yuta huffed. “What was I supposed to get from that?”

“Fine. It was the way you looked at Taeyong. You never, not even once, looked at me like that. And it wasn’t just that one time, Yuta. I have a special gallery in my laptop for all the times you looked at him like he hung the stars.” Hansol snapped. He glared at Yuta for a long minute before the fire in his eyes cooled down, until he was sagging back against the couch. “God, you’re so stupid. How does Tae put up with you?”

Yuta sat there speechless. He had never heard Hansol raise his voice so he was shocked from that. Another shock was what the older had said. Did he really look at Taeyong like that?

Staring at Taeyong came with knowing the guy. He was beautiful, in a lot of ways that was unfair and all of them had sat there and simply gawked at him for no reason. It was the reason why Yuta didn’t think it was a big deal whenever his eyes would be drawn to his roommate. Taeyong was beautiful and Yuta, as an artist, liked to look at beautiful things.

“What’s wrong with staring at Taeyong?” Yuta mumbled.

Hansol reached over and flicked the younger’s forehead. “Why can’t you just shut up and admit that you like him? Do you want to see my folder? It’s been accumulating a lot of pictures.”

“Fine. I’ll prove you wrong.”

Hansol rolled his eyes again, getting up from the couch to go to his room. When he came back, his laptop was already on and he was navigating through the many folders he had there. Yuta frowned seeing how disorganized it was. Taeyong would probably be the same if he saw the state of Hansol’s files.

“Here we are.” Hansol said, opening a folder called ‘idiot A looking at idiot B’.

And.. and whatever argument Yuta had died in his throat once he saw the pictures. Even just the first picture was enough to make his denial seem like a fat lie. As Hansol went through more and more pictures, Yuta could vaguely remember what was happening when that shot was taken and he was a hundred percent sure that he was looking at Taeyong in all the shots. There were practically hearts in his eyes and Yuta didn’t know whether he should be embarrassed or amazed at how expressive he was being.

“This one is my favorite.” Hansol whispered, voice slightly in awe.

Yuta couldn’t help the small gasp that escaped his lips when he saw the picture. He and Taeyong had their foreheads pressed together, probably whispering to each other before, and Taeyong had his eyes closed, lips stretched into a wide grin while Yuta… Yuta was staring at Taeyong with such a gentle look that there was no mistaking the emotion in his eyes.

“I’m so disgustingly in love with Taeyong. What the .” Yuta whispered in amazement.

Hansol laughed. “What a nice way to put it, Nakamoto.”

“No, seriously, what the ? How come you knew before I did?” Yuta groaned, taking a look at the picture again. “But can you send that to me? Tae looks really nice there.”

“Don’t he always?” Hansol said, rolling his eyes. “Anyway, all of us knew.”

“All of you?!”

“Yeah but not Taeyong. He’s pretty dense aftre all.”

“Thank God. I want to confess to him properly.” Yuta heaved a sigh of relief. “But wait, I get it now! I’m jealous of Jaehyun!”

“Again, when were you not jealous of Jae? You’re always finding some way to make sure that they’re never left alone together and whenever Taeyong hang out with Jae at their place, you sulk until he gets home.” Hansol said matter-of-factly.

Yuta blushed, sputtering out random words before he found his words. “Hyung! Your boyfriend is bullying me!”

“Han!” Taeil exclaimed from the kitchen.

“I helped Idiot A realize his feelings though!” Hansol exclaimed.

“Oh. Then keep on bullying Yuta.” Taeil said, appearing by the kitchen wall. “Congrats on finally realizing your feelings, Yuta.”

“Thanks, hyung.” Yuta said with a grateful smile.

--

The realization of his feelings came to Yuta the next morning after seeing Hansol and Taeil were in the morning. There was no other term for it other than pure domestic bliss. The two had established a sort of pattern on how they do things, moving effortlessly around each other in the kitchen. Both remained quiet but even so, Yuta could practically hear their thoughts. Even a small moment of catching each other’s eyes led to a shared smile between them and the Japanese male felt his cheeks grow hot under the sight. He felt like he was intruding in something private and he had to avert his eyes.

His thoughts drifted to Taeyong. He wondered if he and Taeyong could ever have something like that, a moment that was solely for them. Even just the image of it was enough to make Yuta smile and giggle, causing Hansol and Taeil to look at him weirdly. He waved them off and continued daydreaming. Yuta was man enough to admit that he had always pictured spending the rest of his days living with Taeyong. His roommate was a great person to live with; he could cook, clean and Yuta liked being with him. It was a great setup. Yuta never thought much of it, thinking that it was normal to think about his roommate like that.

But now, Yuta couldn’t help but feel giddy at the image of him and Taeyong living together even after university. He imagined going home after a long day of work with the other waiting for him and he let out another giggle at that.

“Would you please stop giggling by yourself? Have you officially lost your mind?” Hansol complained, waving Yuta over to the table.

Taeil laughed. “It is pretty weird, Yuta. What’s so funny?”

Yuta grinned, shaking his head. “Nothing is. I’m just excited.”

“For what?” Hansol asked, putting the food on the table.

“About Tae and I.” Yuta replied, sitting down happily. “I was watching the two of you and you look so happy together even when you’re just you know, making breakfast. Hansol hyung, you act so cynical but you’re practically butter to Taeil hyung. Usually, I’d cringe but since I, myself, am in love, I understand it and just find it cute.”

Taeil coughed, having taken a bite of his food in the middle of Yuta’s answer. His cheeks were a fiery red and he was staring bug eyed at Yuta. “Do you always have to be so frank?” Taeil wheezed out when he could breathe properly again.

Hansol chuckled though he was blushing as well. “Yuta doesn’t have a filter.” He handed Taeil a glass of water. “You look so cute blushing like that, Ilie.”

Yuta blinked at the two of them. “Well, what’s wrong with being frank?”

“Nothing but please give me a warning next time you decide to drop a bomb like that.” Taeil pleaded. He cleared his throat. “Oh and you and Taeyong already act all domestic, by the way. I don’t think you have to be excited about that cause you already do it?”

Yuta choked, grabbing Taeil’s glass of water, chugging it down before he stared incredulously at the older. “What?!”

Hansol sighed, rolling his eyes. “Why are the two of you so dumb?”

“Han.” Taeil reproached before he turned to Yuta. “You and Taeyong are more domestic than Han and I.”

“We are not!” Yuta exclaimed.

“Yes, you are.” Hansol deadpanned. “Doyoung and I watched you literally stand in the kitchen for an hour because Taeyong was cooking us food. You turned down our offer of Mario Kart because you said that watching dragon cook was better.”

“And there was also the time when you were sick so you just clung to Tae while he was making you soup. It was funny when Tae nearly burned his hand and your concern was that he pushed you away.” Taeil added.

“I’m a clingy sick!” Yuta excused.

“A clingy sick to Taeyong, yes. When Jaehyun offered to feed you soup when Taeyong had to leave for class, you nearly stabbed him with the spoon.” Hansol countered.

“That is a gross exaggeration, hyung.” Yuta rolled his eyes.

“Well, yeah but you did kick Jaehyun off the bed.” Hansol paused with a thoughtful look on his face. “Though in hindsight, it was probably bad to send him to you.”

“Told you, you should have let me do it.” Taeil chuckled.

Hansol scoffed. “I wasn’t going to risk you.”

Yuta made a face. “Okay, please stop being sweet now. It’s weird and I’m still here, you know.”

“I do. This is payback whenever you ignored me because Dragon was around.” Hansol stuck his tongue out.

“Anyway..” Taeil cut in when Yuta started kicking Hansol’s chair. “Now, that you know about your feelings. What do you plan on doing, Yuta? Are you going to confess to him?”

--

Taeil’s question stuck with Yuta all the way home. For some reason, his brain skipped out on the part that Taeyong had no idea about his feelings yet and had just imagined the two of them together. Yuta mulled the thought over; if it was deadly obvious that he was in love with Taeyong, shouldn’t his roommate have even just the slightest idea about it? Yuta wondered how the other would react if he did know. Though the more he thought about it, the more impossible it was that Taeyong already knew. The older was bad at hiding his thoughts and Yuta could always guess what he was thinking. If Taeyong had known about his feelings, he was surely going to react to it.

“Yuta hyung!” Doyoung called out, running over to the older with a bag in his hands.

“Doyoungie, what are you doing here?” Yuta asked. “What’s that?” He asked, nodding to the bag.

“Ugh, it’s medicine for Taeyong hyung.” Doyoung groaned.

“For Tae?! He’s sick?! Why didn’t you tell me sooner?!” Yuta exclaimed, not waiting for the younger’s answer before breaking out into a run.

Yuta threw their door open, glad that it was unlocked before frantically calling out Taeyong’s name. He could hear some pained groans coming from the living room and he quickly headed there. The sight that welcomed him was not what he was expecting.

Tubs of ice cream littered the floor and Yuta could see different boxes from the cupcake store across the road thrown in the mess. Jaehyun was smiling guiltily from the couch with Taeyong curled up pitifully on his lap, clutching onto his stomach.

“Jae, what the ?” Yuta muttered, walking over to them. Looking at them upclose, Yuta spied a box of cookies by Taeyong’s side and it just made him even more confused.

Jaehyun pouted. “It was Taeyong hyung’s fault! You know how he likes sweets when he feels down.”

Yuta nodded because yeah, he did know. He witnessed Taeyong like that when he failed exams but it was never to this extent. “Why was he feeling down?”

“Uh, what do you mean by why?” Jaehyun asked, raising an eyebrow. “He called me, saying the two of you had a fight and when I got here, he had already finished three tubs of Double Dutch.”

“Oh.” Yuta mumbled, not knowing what to say.

He crouched down in front of the other, pushing Taeyong’s bangs away from his face. He barely registered the sound of the door opening and closing followed by Doyoung’s complaints that Yuta had ditched him. Yuta only moved when Jaehyun got up to check on his boyfriend, leaving the two of them alone. The Japanese male quickly replaced Jaehyun, frowning when Taeyong let out another groan.

“Baka, this is why you shouldn’t eat too much sweets.” Yuta chastised, rubbing Taeyong’s back.

Taeyong groaned again, rolling on his back. He opened his eyes slowly, squinting them against the light. “Yuta?” he croaked.

“You’re going to be whining to me for weeks.” Yuta said, noting how awful the other sounded.

Taeyong closed his eyes again. “Don’t care. You’re here.”

Yuta blushed, his latest realization leading him to read too much into what Taeyong was saying. He bent down, pressing a butterfly kiss on the other’s forehead. “Yeah, I am. Sorry I made you wait.”

“Where’s my sorry for ditching me back there? Hyung, you’re the fastest among all of us! Did you really have to run?!” Doyoung whined as he walked in the living room, frowning at the mess. “Hyung is going to have a fit when he gets better.”

Yuta chuckled. “It was his fault anyway. Where’s his medicine?”

Doyoung huffed. “Still no apology.” He crossed the room, handing the medicine to Yuta.

“Tae, sit up for me.” Yuta said gently, nudging the other.

“No.” Taeyong answered, clutching onto Yuta’s shirt.

Yuta chuckled. “Come on. Please? Drink your medicine and we can cuddle on your bed after.”

Taeyong pulled back, looking up at Yuta. “Promise?”

“Yes, promise.” Yuta nodded. “Now, up.”

Taeyong groaned again, pinching Yuta’s side for no reason before slowly sitting up. He took the medicine from Yuta and the glass of water from Doyoung, downing them before letting out another groan, frowning at the taste. He turned to Doyoung, sending the younger a small smile before leaning against Yuta’s chest. Yuta hummed pleasantly, hugging the other from behind as he rocked the two of them gently.

“Stop. I’ll throw up.” Taeyong whispered.

Yuta laughed but stopped what he was doing. He pressed his face against Taeyong’s nape, content to just sit there for this moment. Before he knew what he was doing, Yuta was already pressing gentle kisses all along Taeyong’s nape and shoulders. He only realized what he was doing when Doyoung coughed loudly, looking at the two of them with wide bunny eyes.

“Uh, hyung, I’m still here?” Doyoung said weakly.

Yuta nodded absentmindedly, more focused on how tense Taeyong was in his hold and was looking back at him with wide eyes as well, a flush running on his cheeks. The Japanese male opened his mouth, trying to get the words out. This was a perfect chance for him to admit what he was feeling but Taeyong was too close, too warm in his arms. The whole moment was too heady and Yuta couldn’t think of how and what he was going to say.

“I… I’m just…. Going to get my camera! Yeah! This is perfect for gluttony!” Yuta spout out when found his voice again. He quickly pushed Taeyong back onto the couch and made a mad dash for his room.

He pretended not to hear Doyoung asking if Taeyong was okay.

--

Shooting Taeyong while being aware of his feelings turned Yuta into a really bad photographer. Despite Yuta’s refusal, Taeyong was back at what he was doing last night, eating sweets while Yuta took pictures of him. They decided not to remove the mess since it only served as another enhancement of the sin. It would be a pretty witty perspective of gluttony if Yuta could focus and take proper shots.

Doyoung and Jaehyun were both watching with the younger munching on some of the other sweets that Taeyong had while Doyoung just sighed at him. Yuta could feel the two of them staring at him because it was that obvious that he didn’t know what he was doing anymore. So far, all of the pictures that Yuta had taken consisted of the floor, the mess or the edge of the couch.

“Yuta hyung, I don’t think the trash wants to be your model.” Doyoung finally said, breaking the silence that fell upon them.

Yuta was still thinking of what to say to that when Taeyong laughed, throwing a piece of cookie to the Japanese lad. “Doyoungie’s right. Aren’t I your model?” Taeyong said lightly.

Yuta finally looked at him again, getting caught off guard at how handsome the other looked even when he was doing nothing. How the hell did Yuta not realize that he liked Taeyong earlier? Forcing himself to snap out of it, the Japanese male let out a sigh, taking a seat beside the other as he tried to calm down and find his focus again. Taeyong poked his cheek, feeding him a piece of cookie and Yuta felt himself melting at the smile the other sent him afterwards.

“You’re here but not completely here. Where did you go anyway?” Taeyong asked, nudging Yuta’s thigh. “Move. Jae, Do, come and sit with us for a bit. I think the floor deserves some time off the limelight.”

“Uh, no, thanks, hyung.” Doyoung said, grabbing onto Jaehyun’s arm. “Yuta hyung’s here so I think we should head home. Please stop eating so much sweets!”

Jaehyun pouted. “But I wanted more cookies, bunny.”

“I’ll buy you a whole pack now let’s go so the idiots could talk about things.” Doyoung rolled his eyes, tugging on Jaehyun’s arm.

Jaehyun waved at them, allowing himself to get dragged by his boyfriend. Taeyong seemed amused by the whole thing, waving back at Jaehyun before leaning his head on Yuta’s shoulder. Yuta sighed, leaning his head on the other’s.

“I was at Hansol and Taeil hyung’s. Taeil hyung found me.” Yuta mumbled.

“Found you where?” Taeyong asked.

“Uh…” Yuta stalled. “You don’t want to know?”

Taeyong huffed. “I’ll ask hyung anyway.”

“Yeah, okay.” Yuta answered. He took Taeyong’s hand, drawing patterns on his palm. “Sorry, I’m a ty photographer today. My mind’s just too full of stuff.”

“You aren’t ty. Want to tell me what’s going on though? What are you thinking of?”

Yuta clicked his tongue, amused at how their situations had reversed. Wasn’t it only yesterday that he was the one asking Taeyong the same thing? A part of him was still curious about what Taeyong and Jaehyun had talked about but he wasn’t angry about it anymore. Maybe he really was just blinded by his jealousy towards the younger. He let out another sigh; he had to ask Doyoung how he handled the two of them without wanting to throw Taeyong off a cliff.

“Yuta kun, I asked you a question.” Taeyong said, squeezing Yuta’s hand in his.

“You.” Yuta admitted, getting up from the couch and getting his camera again.

“Huh? Me?” Taeyong repeated.

“Yeah, I was thinking about you.” Yuta confessed, willing the blush on his cheeks to go down. He cleared his throat, fiddling with the camera. “Let’s continue the shoot?” Taeyong nodded, looking more than a little dazed, leaving Yuta with no choice but to snap a picture of that moment.

Yuta wondered if Taeyong would get mad if none of the pictures they took today made it to his project. The two of them continued their shoot until Taeyong had whined that his stomach was hurting again. Yuta had acquiesced, claiming that they already have more than enough pictures for the sin.

Although what Yuta had said was a big lie. Yuta did take a lot of pictures of Taeyong eating but none of them looked like gluttony at all. Maybe it was because Taeyong had a blush on his cheeks for almost the entire time. Maybe it was because Taeyong was looking at him with a question in those beautiful doe eyes and Yuta couldn’t help but fall in deeper in them. Maybe it was because when Yuta took a look at the shots he had taken, he couldn’t feel anything but overwhelming fondness for this idiot that turned into a sweet toothed monster whenever he was down. Or maybe it was because even with just the dim lights in their place, the love that Yuta had for his model stood out as bright as daylight.

~

A.N: Last 2 chapters? I think? Probably? Again, thanks for being patient!! It’s so hard not having a laptop or pc to type on. Sighs. Thanks for being understanding, lovelies. Xx

Leave me a comment to tell me what you think!! ^-^ Thank you for reading and supporting. J

Oh and check out our Dream babies “My First and Last”!! Jeno looooooked soo good there; I swear, he should be illegal especially at his age. Haha thank youuu. xx