It’s an astounding two in the morning when Kris finds himself stuck behind the bar, huddled up close in the corner while all hell breaks loose on the other side of the counter.

 

It’s only appropriate that he starts to slowly wonder where things went wrong. 

 

Oh, right. 

 

His head of a friend, Luhan.

 

____________________

 

Fridays were the days Luhan believes are most adequate to annoy his best friend.

 

“Hey Kris”

 

“….”

 

“Kriiiisss.”

 

“….”

 

“Kris…. KriiiiiiIIIIIIISSSSSSSSS.”

 

“. . . . .”

 

“…Hey Krease-“

 

“JESUS- LUHAN, WHAT?” Kris snaps up, eyes wide as he stares dead at the man before him. He can only take so much Luhan at once, and he just about snaps when Luhan lets slip of “Krease” (which is basically how the people in his friend group pronounce it even if it’s wrong because Kris is friends with a bunch of s who think it’s amusing).

 

“We should go to the bar. Like, right now.” Luhan deadpans, already slowly rising from his blanket nest on the couch and reaching for his phone.

 

Because Kris and Luhan have known each other for so long, Luhan believes he’s entitled to barging into Kris’ apartment when he feels like it and creating a ing nest on whatever surface provides sufficient stability.

 

Kris narrows his eyes and scrunches his nose, already suspecting how poor Luhan’s decision making skills are this late in the night. Or in general. 

 

“Dude, it’s like, eleven at night? Who in their right mind goes to a bar this late?” Kris knows he shouldn’t be surprised, considering that this is Luhan, his best friend he’s known since they were like, fetuses, and Kris isn’t a stranger to Luhan’s really bad ideas. Like this one. One that’s just quietly waiting to become another one of Kris’ bad life decisions he later regrets because he decides to humor his best friend and do stupid with him. Luhan waves him off, already standing.

 

 Well, attempting to stand. 

 

Kris gives him a concerned look, before helpfully adding, “Also, you look like .”

 

“It’s eleven at night. No one’s gonna give a about how I look. Now, let’s go.”

 

 Luhan whines like the 5 year old he is as he makes a task out of throwing on a sweatshirt and slipping on his sneakers, running a hand through auburn curls to make himself look somewhat like a functioning member of society, even if his outfit says otherwise.

 

He’s already beyond the point of being convinced to stay home, so Kris simply relents and decides to tag along, because Luhan is already stupid, and a drunk Luhan is like stupid to the 23rd power. Kris convinces himself that he goes out of curtesy to make sure Luhan doesn’t end up getting himself ran over.

 

 

 

__________________

 

 

For whatever reason, Kris actually thought it’d be okay to go to a bar with Luhan. Going anywhere with Luhan in public where he had the potential to make completes asses out of them was a mistake alone. But add a bar into the mix, and Kris comes to realize that it’s a cocktail for disaster. (Kris would’ve laughed at his pun if he weren’t sitting in a bar that smelled like regret and bad life choices) 

 

The two make themselves comfortable at the bar, Luhan animatedly reciting his dramatic recollection of how genius it was for him to put a toy snake on Jongdae when he woke up –sending his boyfriend into a fit of screams- when a man slides beside him, waggling his eyebrows in a way that made Kris want to visibly cringe (because it just makes the man look like he has some nervous twitch going on).

 

“Heeeey thur’ ual. Whas’ a fiiiiiiiiine young lady like you doin’ hereeee?” The man -who is no doubt hammered as - tries to flirt smoothly. 

 

It’s basically one of those moments when you hear a loud record scratch, those few silent moments before everything goes to . And Kris just sighs, because this happens at least once every time he chooses to go with Luhan anywhere. 

 

Luhan bristles, slowly turning from Kris to the stranger, a very terrifying look in his eyes that reflects the very fires of hell themselves.

 

Holding his breath, Kris knows hands are going to be thrown in a good 2.5 seconds.

 

But before he can even get a word out, Luhan -in all his lovely, yet imposing glory- launches himself at the man and effectively tackles him to the ground with a loud war cry.

 

They’ve only been here for ten ing minutes and already Luhan has managed to get into a fight in a dingy bar. Kris has to use maximum effort to prevent himself from walking out then and there, effectively leaving Luhan to fend off his own stupid choices and preventing himself from getting caught up in said choices.

 

As dainty -and very pretty- as Luhan looks, he’s one of those hell hath no fury like mine when I’m slightly inconvenienced and hungry, and that, paired with a long history of being called “beautiful” or being mistaken for a woman, he doesn’t take too kindly to a man feeling him up because , how much is it to ask for to peacefully get wasted with his friend without being ually assaulted.

 

Luhan and the stranger have been on the ground for a good minute, Kris making no attempts to physically in between his friend and the man (he’s learned his lesson after receiving a black eye on Luhan’s part, with many insincere apologies) and decides to attempt coaxing his friend out of his anger with words. But because Kris’ luck is basically nonexistent, another man attempts to pry Luhan off, causing him to get hit by the stranger on the floor, and effectively starting a stereotypical bar fight.

 

 

 

Which leads us to Kris stuck being behind a bar as he decides to wait out the fight.

 

Taking yet another glimpse at his watch, he sees that it’s now 2:15 in the morning, and the bar fight has yet to let up. Serious bar fights aren’t supposed to go on for this long, at least Kris thinks they aren’t. He’s experienced some pretty outrageous shi