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[Rei]

When I realized what – I was doing, or more like what happened. Quickly, I unwind my arms from his neck, and stepped away. An awkward silence loomed over us like a heavy dark cloud.

I could see a look of hurt flash upon his beautiful yet pale face. Somehow, I felt guilty for doing what I did.

What I’d like to know is how did we ended up kissing? How could I let that happened? Clearing my throat, to ease the tension, I started “Hey…” Hey? What-the-hell, Rei? I screamed mentally. I want to dig a hole somewhere and bury myself away from any embarrassment.

Hold the up! Why and since when did I start becoming a chicken? This is unacceptable! I cleared my throat again. Rubbing my clammy hands over my jeans.

“Hey,” His voice croaked. His hands were pushed inside the back pocket of his jeans, eyes not meeting me.

What a coincidence that we share the same raven colored hair. Even though Miyu kept saying that he’s not well, but to me – appearance wise, he still looks good. The only difference is, he’s grown skinnier than his usual built muscles, and his eyes looks tired.

I couldn’t shake the feeling of wanting his lips on mine again, it was mind-blowingly good. Pushing the thought to the back of my head, I ask him “H-How are you?”

In a cool manner, he brought his long sleeves to his elbows before shoving his hands to the front pocket now. He was anxious. Handsomely anxious.

What is wrong with me? Oh, my God!

“I’m fine.” Was all he said.

“I don’t believe you.”

“Why do you care?” His voice sharp and cold suddenly.

I did a double take, bringing my hands defensively in front of me “I don’t – I don’t care.” Was I said as I started walking away.

Giving by the rustling sound of the grass behind me, he was following suit. A hand clasped around my elbow, carefully turning me back around to face him.

I yanked myself away from his grip, scowling “What are you sorry for actually?” He was quiet for a moment, looking away as if trying to find the answer to my question. I scoffed bitterly “You don’t even know why you said sorry.”

“I do, and I meant it.” Exasperatedly, he pushed the fringe of his hair back. He sighed “I’m sorry for everything, for hurting you, and for letting you go.”

“Why can’t you be honest for once?”

“What do you want me to say?”

“Are you fine or not?”

Shutting his eyes briefly, his lips set in a thin line, with a sigh he replied “I’m not! I’m not fine! Is that what you want to hear? Does it make you feel better that I’m the one hurting now?”

“Now, was that so hard to admit?” Shaking my head in disbelief “Despite all the hatred I feel for you and all that we’ve been through, not for once have I wish for something bad to happen to you. All that I wish for was everyone’s wellbeing and their happiness, including yours.” Without much thought into it, these words fell out of my mouth like a waterfall, and it continued “So, no. It doesn’t make me feel better to see you like this.” Pausing in between to take a breath “I maybe a lot of things, but I’m not one to watch the people that I care, suffer just for my satisfaction.”

Looking around the pack, I saw few of his people gathering around. “Knowing now how much you mean to these people here, I’m willing to stay and let you use me for your benefit and get well.” I turn on my heel and headed back to the house.

I was going to leave, and see Miyu tomorrow, but that girl always has something up on her sleeves. Despite everything that happened outside just now, she had the balls to ask me to stay for sleepover. I know these wolves were listening in our conversations, because they have this guilt look on their faces.

“You have to sleepover, Rei!” Miyu pleaded. Clueless of the tension around “I will cry my eyes out if you don’t.” From the corner of my eye, I saw how Jaebum’s frozen at the mention of crying. His face pale, eyes widened by fraction. She’s done it before. I mean, this is Miyu we’re talking about, of course she’s done it before. She’s much more dramatic than the people who does theater for a living.

“No way! What about my car?” I protested.

“We can ask someone to bring it over?” She said cheerfully.

“What about clothes?” I find another excuse.

“You can borrow mine. We share almost the same size!” Her eyes gleamed in excitement.