He didn’t know why he was doing this. It was like something stronger than him was pushing him to do it, like a sudden impulse urging him to do things he would never have dared do on his own.

 

At that moment, as they were looking at each other in the eyes, both unable to break eye contact or move a muscle, Jinki felt drawn in like a magnet. He had no other choice than to lean in towards Kibum. His eyes fell on his heart-shaped lips and he couldn’t help but imagine what it would be like to feel them against his own, just for a second.

 

The temptation was too great. If Jinki had been in control of his actions, he probably would have fled. He would have ran away as far as possible from Kibum.

 

Except he wasn’t in control.

 

His mind had stopped all of the rational thoughts and had chased away his fears. The only thing that remained was the repressed desire he had for Kibum.

 

Slowly, Jinki closed his eyes and pressed his lips against his.

 

He felt Kibum stiffen and it was like someone had dropped a bucket of ice-cold water on Jinki’s head. He immediately got back to his senses and all of his fears came running back, hitting him like a truck. He moved away in a quick move and looked away.

 

“I… I’m sorry, I don’t know w-what came through me. I s-shouldn’t have done that !”

 

He started panicking and he gripped his hair, lowering his head. Oh God, how could he have kissed Kibum ?! He had just started getting used to the idea of them being friends ! He didn’t want that kind of relationship, he wasn’t ready to have feelings for someone again, he-

 

“Jinki.”

 

Kibum’s voice was soft and when Jinki raised his head to look at him, he noticed the younger had knelt before him. He took Jinki’s hands in his to make him let go of his hair and took his face in his hands. Kibum probably could see the panicked look in his eyes but he said nothing and stayed perfectly calm. As usual, Kibum’s touch calmed him down like magic and his breathing went back to normal.

 

“I-”

 

Jinki didn’t have the time to say another word as Kibum’s lips pressed against his own. Once again, his mind seemed to shut down and he kissed back without thinking. He could feel Kibum smile against his lips and his heart melted. Kibum’s hands ran through his hand while the older wrapped his arms against his shoulders to pull him closer.

 

“Jin-... ki ?”

 

They both pulled away and turned towards Sohye, who was standing by the door. She was staring at them with wide eyes and was completely speechless. Jinki was too, and they stayed like that - motionless in the awkward silence lingering in the air -, while Kibum didn’t look one bit embarrassed about the situation.

 

“You’re here for... ?”

 

“Oh ! I-I just came to tell you that the pool is fully functional again.”

 

“Very well.”

 

Sohye didn’t move.

 

“You can go now, Sohye.” Jinki said, slightly amused.

 

“Oh ! O-of course ! I’ll let you to- er… I’ll leave you alone.”

 

She glanced at the both of them before leaving, closing the door behind her.

 

Jinki turned to Kibum and smiled.

 

He could still feel them, - his worries and fears - quietly waiting in his mind for an opportunity to strike again. But the genuine happiness Jinki had felt when Kibum had kissed him was still surrounding his heart like a shield, protecting him from his darkest emotions.

 

“A pool ?” Kibum asked excitedly. “I didn’t see anything when we were in the gardens…”

 

“That would be because it’s not in the gardens. It’s an indoor pool.”

 

“Can I see it ?”

 

“After dinner, maybe.” Jinki said with a small smile.

 

Kibum pouted but didn’t protest.

 

They didn’t talk about the kiss; they were both too shocked to talk about it. They both knew they had feelings for each other. How couldn’t they know ? It was obvious and they were far from stupid. And that kiss had just confirmed it. However, they were both too scared to talk about it.

 

It was a taboo for the both of them. Kibum couldn’t afford to fall in love now with his job as an , while Jinki was still too scared to love someone again, too scared to have his heart broken once more.

 

The most logical solution would have been to stop this, to never see each other again. But they were already in too deep, it was too late.

 

When he was with Kibum, Jinki felt happy and alive.

 

When he was with Jinki, Kibum felt loved and appreciated.

 

They both needed each other too much.

 

……………………………

 

“Miss Sohye ? Is everything alright ?”

 

She jumped upon hearing the voice of Mrs Park, who was staring at her worriedly.

 

“Oh I’m sorry, I was spacing out.”

 

“I’m done cleaning and filling up the pool, it’s as good as new !”

 

“Thank you.”

 

Sohye wasn’t really listening to what the maid was saying, too shocked by what she has seen before to focus on anything else. She would never have expected Jinki to kiss someone else so soon.

 

“I never thought he’d do it.”

 

“S-sorry ?” Sohye asked with wide eyes.

 

Was she thinking out loud ? Mrs Park’s words seemed to reflect what she had thoughts and for a second, she wondered if the maid was a telepath.

 

“The pool.” She explained. “I never thought Mr Lee would renovate it one day.”

 

“Oh !” Sohye said, chuckling nervously. “He told me Taemin wouldn’t leave him alone until he did, since he and Minho are living in an apartment…”

 

All of Jinki’s employees knew his friends, since they were the only ones coming to his house and they were quite friendly. Especially Taemin; he talked a lot. He hadn’t stopped talking about the pool to Jinki and the latter had finally given in. Sohye was quite pleased about that; she had always thought leaving such a nice pool neglected was a waste.

 

“It’s a good thing ! I don’t know what Mr Lee would have become without his friends…

 

Jinki had always tended to let things fix themselves, except for things to evolve, people sometimes needed to do some efforts. Sohye knew he often needed a small push to do things, and his friends understood that as well.

 

Which was the reason why she was so shocked of seeing him kiss Kibum.

 

“Talking about friends, did you see ? The young man from last time came back.”

 

Mrs Park had always liked gossips, and since Jinki was a very lonely man, seeing him spending his days with someone new had become her favorite topic.

 

“He’s very handsome ! But as I was saying to Mr Bang last time, he dresses funny...”

 

Key’s sleeping outfit came back to Sohye’s mind and she blushed. This kind of clothes was rather racy, but it seemed rather normal when people knew what his job was.

 

Thankfully, Mrs Park was not aware of that…

 

“Y-yes, I guess it’s a bit strange.”

 

“Ah, young people these days ! Always so provoking !”

 

Sohye chuckled nervously and bid the maid goodbye before leaving, pretexting to have a lot of work to do. Once she was alone, she heaved a relieved sigh. All of the employees had talked to her about Key and apparently, none of them knew. Sohye was the only one who knew about his job and she didn’t like others asking questions about it. She was a bad liar, which was why she tried to avoid conversations in which things she was supposed to keep secret could accidentally slip out.

Seeing how Jinki and Key’s relationship was evolving, the situation would only get worse, but she was still very happy for Jinki. He had been alone for too long, it was time for him to find someone.

 

………………………..

 

After dinner, Jinki brought Key to see the pool. The renovation had started a few months ago and had ended just a few days ago. It had taken a while for the pool to be cleaned and filled up, so no one had been allowed to swim in it before that afternoon.

 

It was just like in his memories, except for a few modern elements added during the renovation. The room was composed of a huge stone wall linking the room to the rest of the house and three other bay windows surrounding the pool and separating it from the outside. The roof was made of glass windows as well, and only a few lights placed in the floor were lighting the room. The view on the gardens was obstructed by ivy on the outside of the glass, the gardener must have forgotten to cut it.

 

Kibum was walking alongside the pool, stealing glances everywhere in the room in awe.

 

“Why building a pool inside instead of outside ?” He asked.

 

“When I was little I loved swimming… I would spend whole days at the town’s swimming pool so my parents built one for my eleventh birthday. My mother didn’t like the idea of me spending all of my days outside in the sun, so… they chose an indoor pool.”

 

“It must have been nice… to grow up in a rich family.”

 

“It has its perks.”

 

“The only pool I ever had was an inflatable pool. It was a cheap one too, and it barely held two people at a time.” He said with a chuckle, a fond smile on his face at the memory.

 

“Do you like swimming ?”

 

Kibum shrugged.

 

“I like swimming okay, but it’s not a hobby or anything.”

 

He sat down at the edge of the pool and dipped his feet into the water.

 

“Sohye said the renovations were over… Why were there renovations ?”

 

“It was left abandoned after the accident.”

 

“Oh… Why ?”

 

Kibum seemed in the mood to ask questions but strangely, Jinki didn’t mind at all.

 

“It’s harder to swim without my legs.”

 

“But not impossible.”

 

He stood up and walked to the side of the pool where there were steps.

 

“Come here.” He said with a smile - his cute dimples showing - and gestured for Jinki to join him.

 

“Why… ?” He asked, moving closer.

 

“Why do you think ?” Kibum said, a mischievous look in his eyes.

 

Jinki’s eyes widened.

 

“It’s a bad idea…”

 

“Why ?”

 

Jinki thought of a hundred good reasons not to take a swim in that pool but the only thing he could say was:

 

“I-I don’t have a swimsuit.”

 

Kibum laughed at that and what happened next made Jinki regret his answer.

 

“So what ? I don’t have one either. We don’t need swimsuits.”

 

He grabbed his tee-shirt to pull it over his head and Jinki froze. Kibum dropped his tee-shirt on the floor and chuckled when he noticed Jinki’s shocked stance. He was desperately trying not to look up and kept his eyes on the floor, but he could still see Kibum’s skinny jeans - hugging his legs like a second skin. He looked up slightly to see Kibum’s hand rest on his zipper and he looked away as Kibum’s jeans joined his tee-shirt on the floor.

 

“Jinki ?”

 

Kibum was obviously waiting for him to take off his clothes but Jinki was still frozen, his eyes fixed on the water. It was already difficult for him not to stare at Kibum with his clothes on, so when he was almost …

 

“Oh… Do you need help ?”

 

Jinki’s eyes widened and he suddenly looked up to say no. However, he became utterly speechless when his eyes fell on Kibum’s body. He couldn’t take his eyes off him. He had already caught sight of his collarbones when he wore his robe or his legs whenever he wore shorts, but he had never seen Kibum with so little clothes and it rendered him speechless. His body was more perfect than Jinki had ever imagined. He let his eyes feast on the beauty before him for a moment, taking in his smooth milky white skin. He had legs that most women would probably envy, a flat tummy and sensual curves that Jinki had a hard time keeping his eyes off of. He looked up to see his face and noticed Kibum’s smirk.

 

Great. This was exactly why he had tried not to stare.

 

“I’ll help you.” He said, walking closer.

 

“N-no !” He stuttered in a high-pitched voice, suddenly feeling nervous upon the idea of Kibum touching him in any way. “It’s okay, I c-can do th-this on my own.”

 

“Are you sure ?”

 

“Yes !” He said nervously, forcing a smile.

 

“Okay.” Kibum said, smiling back before walking away to the pool.

 

Actually, he wouldn’t have been against Kibum giving him a hand to get out of his wheelchair - he would certainly have a hard time doing that without help - but the thought of Kibum’s skin touching his own had been enough to panic him. He still remembered the feeling of Kibum’s lips against his own, and he wasn’t sure he could control himself if he came in contact with Kibum’s bare skin in any way.

 

Jinki took a deep breath. He managed to climb down of his wheelchair - not without some difficulty but he hoped Kibum hadn’t noticed - and sat on the floor. He took off his shoes and his socks slowly in the hopes that Kibum would get bored and he wouldn’t have to take off his clothes any further, but it didn’t happen. He heaved a sigh and reluctantly took off his jeans. He always felt ill-at-ease and exposed when he took his clothes off, which was he generally swimmed with large clothes such as a tee-shirt and swimming trunks. Unfortunately, he couldn’t go get them in his room now, and he couldn’t swim in the pool with his jeans on. Not to mention that swimming with his clothes on while Kibum only had a pair of boxers on would have made the situation even more awkward than it already was. He sent a glance towards Kibum and the younger swam closer when he noticed him looking.

 

“You okay ?”

 

If seeing Kibum in his underwear was a challenge for Jinki, seeing him in his underwear and completely wet was even worse.

 

He nodded silently.

 

“You don’t take off your tanktop ?”

 

“No !” He yelled, before speaking in a softer voice. “I mean… I always swim with a shirt on, so…”

 

Kibum raised an eyebrow and burst out laughing; Jinki pouted. He was rather embarrassed now but fortunately, Kibum didn’t make any comment.

 

He helped Jinki in the pool and they both swam further, where the water was deeper. The water was warm and it did an amazing job at relaxing Jinki’s tense muscles. He hadn’t swam in a pool in years and he couldn’t deny that he had missed it. He let out a contented sigh and Kibum chuckled.

 

“See ? I told you it was a good idea.”

 

Kibum seemed rather proud of that and Jinki stayed quiet. He swam closer and splashed him. The younger looked shocked by that and Jinki laughed.

 

“Yah ! Lee Jinki !”

 

He kept complaining, but his whines eventually turned into giggles. He retaliated by splashing Jinki too and their giggles filled the room. They were soaking wet from head to toe, and Kibum pouted, complaining about how his makeup wasn’t waterproof and his hair was ruined.

 

“It was your idea to take a swim in the first place.” Jinki said with a teasing smile.

 

“Yah ! You’re the one who splashed me !”

 

“And I can do it again…”

 

He swam closer to Kibum with a mischievous smile and the younger backed away, his eyes wide.

 

“No… Jinki, I’m warning you…”

 

He was back against the poolside and Jinki swan closer still, until he was right in front of him. He gripped the edge of the pool with both hands to keep himself steady, on each side of Kibum’s head. The latter was curled up against the wall, his eyes fixed on Jinki, his expression suddenly serious. For once, Jinki didn’t have to look up to watch him, and if he brought himself just a tiny bit closer he could feel his body against his. He may have grown used to being in a wheelchair, there were still things he couldn’t do anymore, things he sometimes missed terribly. Like taking someone in his arms without them having to bend, kissing someone unexpectedly without having to wait for them to lean down… He missed standing on his own two feet. There were many other things he missed, but at that moment he could only think about these ones.

 

Key must have noticed his change of expression, since he raised his hand to run it through his hair. Jinki leaned in and kissed him for the second time today. He closed his eyes and focused on the feeling of Kibum’s lips against his own and his hand now gripping his hair. This time, when they parted, he was perfectly calm and there were no trace of panic in his eyes.

 

“I’m scared.” He confessed, matter-of-factly.

 

“Of what ?” Kibum asked softly, his hair.

 

“Of this. This feeling I have for you, now.”

 

“Why ?”

 

“Did you ever go bungee jumping ?”

 

Kibum found the question odd but didn’t comment and instead nodded. Jinki’s voice was way too serious.

 

“Imagine everyone else is telling you to jump, because it’s an amazing experience. But you’re terrified. Because you already did it once, and it went horribly wrong. You fell. It broke you, and for a very long time you refused to even think about trying it again. And since then you are scared to death of doing it again but… something happened recently, and suddenly you want to do it so badly… And you know that if you did it again and everything went well, it would be the greatest experience of your life. But that illogical fear of falling terrifies you and keeps you from jumping.”

 

It was too difficult for Jinki to explain what he was feeling directly, so he was using a metaphor.

 

“I’m getting closer to the edge with every passing day, but fear is keeping me rooted to the ground.”

 

Kibum smiled softly.

 

“Sometimes, the only thing to do is to set your fears aside and go for it.”

 

“I don’t know if I can.”

 

“Then let me help you.” He said, leaning in until their lips were barely a breath apart. “Let’s jump together.”

 

He pressed his lips against Jinki’s.

 

………………………….

 

They were both sitting by the pool, their still wet bodies covered by large towels. The water was warm and Kibum had felt cold when he had left it. Jinki had told him where the towels were and he had brought two for the both of them. He was using his as a blanket and had covered his shoulders with it whereas Jinki had spread his own on his lower body. Key was struggling not to openly stare at Jinki’s body, but his tank top was still wet and sticking to his skin. He had been a bit disappointed when Jinki had told him he wouldn’t take it off, but he understood that Jinki was a bit shy to show his body (although he had no reason to be, from what Kibum had seen).

 

They were sitting next to each other, still facing the other so they could see each other well. Jinki had his legs extended before him and Kibum was sitting cross-legged. Jinki leaned in to kiss him and Kibum couldn’t help but smile against his lips. The kiss was slow and gentle, and he felt all warm inside at the pleasant feeling.

 

Jinki had told him about what he really felt, his fear and insecurities, and it had moved him. He couldn’t deny that deep down, he too was a bit afraid of being in a serious relationship. He wasn’t as scared as Jinki was for sure, but he was too. He was afraid of change. What would his life look like if he let himself fall in love ? What about his job ?

 

They parted and smiled at each other. It was so cheesy… but Kibum had butterflies whenever Jinki was looking at him. He was used to people staring at him, but the way Jinki did was… different. No one had ever looked at him like that before. It was like his eyes were filled with a million emotions, not only lust like most of his customers’ eyes had.

 

Key pressed his lips against Jinki’s and the older kissed back without hesitation. His lips were still wet from the pool and behind the small bitter taste of the pool’s chlorine, he could still taste coffee. It was an odd mix, but he had waited so long for it he couldn’t pull away. Jinki’s hand found its way to his back and pulled him closer.

 

And then, the ringing of a phone.

 

“You should answer that…” Key said.

 

“Later.” Jinki answered quickly before pressing his lips against Kibum’s again.

 

Unfortunately, whoever was calling had no intention of leaving them be and the ringing continued for a while. Kibum put a hand on Jinki’s chest to push him away.

 

“You need to answer that.”

 

Jinki groaned and Kibum giggled. The older crawled to his discarded jeans and grabbed his phone out of his pocket. Apparently, Jinki couldn’t have enough of kissing Kibum.

 

He could easily get used to that.