Author's Note: Well, I was listening to 'It hurts'(Sick) from the album and 'Misty road' from Moonlight Drawn By The Clouds while writing this so... You guys get it :'D

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Mark ignored the chicken fight outside and fell on his mattress, not wanting to move another muscle.

His most looking forward time of the day is gone again, this time because of Jaebum. It was already hard for them to find some spare time together at the dorm, but now when they finally got some space in the schedule, Jinyoung had been working on so many plans that they hadn’t got the time  for their Korean lessons.

It always made him feel happy, the way Jinyoung’s clear and calming soft voice embrace their peaceful silence. Mark also loves the way Jinyoung speaks every word so carefully and perfectly, as if he respects them, and he does his best to help the red head understand. Jinyoung loves reading, which gave Mark the feeling that he liked spending his time to teach it to him, that he’d never feel bored, and that he really liked having some alone time with Mark like this.

But these days Mark hadn’t been able to have those alone time with Jinyoung. He’d spend some time perfecting his vocal for live performances and for acting, which he’s so interested in. He would discuss with Yugyeom about some choreo that he came up with, and some other days might try them out on his own. Lately he’d been spending quite some time with Jaebum, in everything, vocals, lyrics, and other business. And with their daily schedule, the time left for him came down to zero.

Sometimes Mark couldn’t help but feeling a bit upset over their closeness. After all, they are JJProject, they’d debuted together 2 years before GOT7, even if the 7 of them knew each other well from their trainee days. And the red head felt like there’s nothing he can do to make up for the times they had spent together without the 5 of them, without him. They understand each other to the point that it made him feel envious. It was a special bond, developed through hardships and mutual experience.

Mark knew that he shouldn’t be bothered this much about it, that even though the two of them may have better understandings towards each other, the 7 members are still equally important to each one of them. He could see and feel it clear that Jinyoung and Jaebum wouldn’t give anything in the world to be separated from their little family. But everytime they silently get each other, everytime Jinyoung answered every interview questions about Jaebum almost perfectly without the slightest hesitation (and vise versa), Mark just couldn’t hold back the bitterness rising from the bottom of his heart. If only…

Mark buried his face in the soft pillow (a gift from a fan), and chase away the guilty and hurtful thoughts in his head. He could feel a light headache coming, probably because the lack of sleep these days. Not that he couldn’t fall asleep, but the sleep was never full, as if he was always half awake, making him feel even more tiresome. But with the exhaustion lingering everywhere in his body, Mark slowly fell into yet another tired sleep.

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Next morning, Mark lazily opened his eyes, pushing a clingy and still snoring Jackson aside to sit up. Holding his forehead, Mark could sense it in his sleep last night that the headache had become worse and worse over night, and now it’s very clear in his head.

Slightly groan in remorse, he slowly got up for morning routine, another 15 minutes of waking Jackson-the-pigg up, then outside for breakfast. He willingly gave BamBam the chicken he so desired, since he lost his appetite, and they head to the studio to have a photoshoot.

Luckily the concept was a cool and chic one, so his long face fit perfectly with the group shots. However in the close up shoot for individual shots, he received a few reminder because of his blank and somewhat unlively face expression. Mark knew that he must be looking very uninterested right now, but he couldn’t ignore the veins pulsing on his forehead. As a result, he had to put up with the individual photoshoot a bit longer than usual.

It was noon when they finally got in the van and went back to the dorm for some rest. Mark was closing his eyes and resting his head on the window when someone tugged his arm.

“Yah Markeu ah, gwenchana? You seem a bit off today. Is something wrong?”

He looked up to see a concerned Jaebum with a serious face that made him suddenly feel like laughing at their leader’s over protectiveness. But then he spotted his favourite dongsaeng, sitting beside Jaebum and poking his head down, looking at Mark with worried eyes, and the funny feeling fleed away at once.

Mark childishly shut his eyes again and mumble.

“It’s nothing. I’m just having a slight headache that’s all”

“Oh, in that case, remember to take some medicine after you grab something to eat ok? Headaches can be quite unbearable sometimes.” Jaebum said, patting his shoulders.

“Tell me about it.” Mark just nod against the window, eyes still tightly closed.

But they only had a short nap, there was no time for lunch as they head for their next schedule, Real GOT7 episode 6. Another thing that Mark struggled with, and wasn’t really fond of. Although Mark loved spending time with the group and entertaining their fans, the fact that he wasn’t a talkative person can sometimes make him feel lost during filming. To make it better, he wasn’t in the mood for loud noises and making jokes right now. It was supposed to be one of the fun schedules, but not for today.

It was all thanks to his thoughts of the fans that kept Mark smiling happily and messing around with the members on the show. He tried his best to toss all the irritating feelings to the back of his head, and focus on having a nice time with the boys, doing some fanservieces and playing games. But during the show, there were times when he let those feeling leak, being unusually grumpy and sulking whenever he got interrupted by the dongsaengs. He was used to it, Mark can easily get over the fact that sometimes the kids might be a little distracted and insensitive. After all he doesn’t speak much, so it’s kinda understandable, and when he really means it then all of them will surely listen, he’s still the eldest hyung.

That being said, he couldn’t be that easy today, and although Jaebum and Jinyoung made their effort to remind the kids that ‘Hey, Mark is talking”, it somehow made him feel even more pathetic. Mark couldn’t stop himself from returning the favour to Youngjae, he just wanted to let him know the feeling of not being heard, so he knows how bad it can be.

He already felt hurt when Youngjae said he thought Mark didn’t want to speak to him. So when Youngjae repeated it again by saying he felt most uncomfortable with him, even though it came out half as a joke, Mark still felt like a giant ice berg just dropped down on him. Was he THAT hard to be with? That it needed to be said thrice?

Seeing the worriness building from Jinyoung’s eyes as the boy watched his expression carefully, and Jackson’s understanding smile towards the red head, Mark gathered his calm again after a few seconds of freezing on his feet. Youngjae immediately felt a tad guilty seeing Mark’s speechless reaction, he whispered a soundless “Mian” to Mark, and after receiving a light nod from the elder, they continue to finish off the show.

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When they arrived to the dorm, everyone let out signs of satisfaction and happily enjoyed the rest of the afternoon in freedom. Mark dropped himself on the sofa, he really needed something to ease his tensing mind right now, he didn’t want to be grumpy towards the members and spoil the good atmosphere the group always had. And the only one who could ease him….

Mark looked at Jinyoung with longing and hesitation in his eyes. The boy was walking around in the living room, now was the perfect time to ask him, he was not busy with anyone wasn’t he? Gulping, Mark opened his mouth:

“ Hey Jinyounie..”

“Huh?” Jinyoung answered vaguely, he was looking through the tv case, searching for something.

“Uhm, well, you know, since we have nothing to do now, we can start with Korean lessons if you want.”

Jinyoung stopped looking and turned to Mark, suddenly at a loss of words.

Mark patiently wait for his answer, eyes fixing on the younger’s every movement.

“If he says no again…”

“Oh… Mark hyung, I-”

“Found your wallet Jinyoung. Come on let’s go.” Jaebum walked out from his room and threw the wallet to Jinyoung, ready to depart.

“Great! I’m very sorry Mark hyung. I know I promised yesterday, but I really need to go with Jaebum hyung right now. We can do it when I come back ok hyung? I’m very sorry!~”

Jinyoung clapped his hands together, face full of guiltiness.

“No, it’s fine, I get it. Just go ahead.” Mark didn’t even bother to hide the hurt in his voice as he tore his gaze from the younger to the tv in front of him.

He didn’t want to wait for Jinyoung, he needed it NOW. And if the younger couldn’t afford that much time for him, so be it.

Jinyoung looked at Mark one last time before hurrily taking his stuff and head outside, followed by Jaebum.

As soon as the front door was closed, Mark got up and changed to his sweat pants. He took his hand bag with a bottle of water and a towel, and shouted to the boys who are dancing and playing in Yugyeom’s room.

“Hey guys! I’m going out for some fresh air ok!”

“Arasoooooo!” Jackson mewled loudly and burst out laughing at himself, along with Youngjae’s equally distinctive laugh.

“Hyung remember to be back soon!! We’re going to have dinner outside!” the 2 maknaes shouted back.

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Happy birthday to Super Junior's Donghae <3 Although I'm cheating on other young guys while you're in the Army, but you're still my no.1 babies ToT

Sorry for the deppresing chapter you guys :'> Just hold on to the next chapter ok~

Love love ^^