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“Let’s party!!!”

 

The sound of sword slashing immediately filled up the penthouse of Kim Joonmyeon. Two men were holding their own joysticks tightly while giving their full attention to the game on the HD flat screen. The rest of their group were either giving commands to the players or filling their mouth with pepperoni pizza with too much cheese and grease. Kim Jongdae gave his 100% concentration to beat his older brother, Kim Joonmyeon; blocking all the useless gaming tips from Chanyeol and Baekhyun. When he saw his brother’s life meter had turned red, he sat up straight and kept pushing all the buttons as hard as he can as if the harder he pressed, the faster he could beat up his nerdy brother.

 

“Yah! Don’t kill me!” Joonmyeon screamed. “Hey! No fair!”

“Kiss my , a!”

 

On screen, Joonmyeon’s character had been lying on the battle ground, leaving Jongdae’s character laughing evilly. Real-life Joonmyeon, though, felt between crying in shame and slapping that stupid smug smirk on his brother’s face.

 

“No fair.” He whined. “You got help from Chanyeol and Baekhyun.”

“These two?” Jongdae scoffed. “I’ll kick their sweet easy peasy. Ten moves top.”

“We cheered for you and that’s how you repay us?” Chanyeol slapped the back of his head. “I’m hurt.”

 

Jongdae just laughed at the sulking giant. Sometimes he wonders how Chanyeol’s fiancée could handle with his antics on a daily basis. He let the giant take over the joystick while he excused himself to go to the bathroom. While doing his business, he could hear the cries from his friends; winning or losing, he’s not sure. When he went back to the living room, he immediately laughed when he saw his brother lied down on his stomach; probably sulking over his loser if his dead character is any indication.

 

“Hyung, I just went to pee for one minute and you lost again?”

“He’s really bad at this.” Chanyeol whispered at Jongdae.

“I can’t believe Hana noona agreed to marry you, hyung.” Jongin laughed.

“You guys are mean.” Joonmyeon’s voice muffled from the cushion. “Can’t you guys let the groom-to-be win for once, during his bachelor party?”

“How about no?” Kyungsoo, who was watching the on-screen bloodbath silently just now, joked.

 

Joonmyeon whined again while rolling onto his back, making everyone in the room laughed. Yixing, who is the wisest among their group of friends, decided to end Joonmyeon’s misery by sacrificing his lacking gaming skills to be whipped by the groom-to-be. While everyone else decided to cheer on them, Jongdae chose to sit back on the couch while munching on pizzas.

 

Tonight is the last night of Joonmyeon being unattached. Instead of doing a typical bachelor party – booze, stripper or anything that could make them regret on the wedding day – Joonmyeon decided to make it like one of their typical boys’ night – XBox, Netflix, pizza – since he probably couldn’t join regularly after he’s married to Hana. Besides, some of them were attached (Minseok and Yixing), semi-attached (Chanyeol, Kyungsoo and Baekhyun) and they still consider Sehun and Jongin as the babies of the group even though they were on their final year in university – so they didn’t want to taint their innocence.

 

Being here struck a chord on Jongdae’s memory.

 

His own bachelor’s party.

 

“Hyung~”

“Shut up.”

“Hyung~”

“No, Jongdae.”

“Just one piece. Just one.” He whined. “Please~ Please, my most handsome big brother.”

“Praise me to the top of Mount Everest. No means no.”

“Oh, come on. What could one small piece of garlic bread do to my breath?”

“You’re getting married tomorrow. You want to kiss Taerin with garlic breath?”

“You’re a bully.”

 

Joonmyeon ignored his little brother and kept on eating the garlic bread. The rest of his friends just snickered behind their slices of pizza or pasta. He looked down on his own share of his favourite pizza, Hawaiian Classic with triple cheese and decided to give up on getting garlic bread. He quietly munched the pizza while focusing on their Marvel marathon. He really wanted the bread since he’s been craving for it for a while but Joonmyeon’s right. He’s getting married tomorrow and he doesn’t want his future wife to remember his garlic breath as part of their wedding memory.

 

“God.” Everyone heard Chanyeol scoffed. “Really, Jongdae?”

“What?” Minseok looked to his side, where Chanyeol was sitting texting someone.

“Sky sent me something.”

 

The whole gang gathered up around Chanyeol to look at the giant’s phone screen.

 

babyyyy ^^

im questioning dae now

 

now dat i saw this, ur knock knock jokes seems 2 be less corny, baby

11.02pm

 

“THE ?!” Jongdae screeched. “IGNORE THAT!”

“‘Put down that cupcake. You're sweet enough already.’” Chanyeol read it out loud, ignoring Jongdae’s small fist attack towards him. “On a tissue. Really, Dae?”

 

Jongdae really wished he can turn back the time when he was 18 so that he can find his stupid freshman self and tell him to stop harassing his crush with stupid and cheesy pickup line.

 

The image sent by Chanyeol’s girlfriend was the tissue paper with the pickup line Jongdae gave to Taerin when he wanted to court the girl.

 

He has been following the fellow freshman since he first met the girl at the cafe nearby their university. After a few times he saw the girl (he swore to his life he didn’t stalk Taerin, they just come to the same place at the same time!), he decided to be befriending her. He was so nervous when Taerin came into the cafe while he was working on his laptop. Since he has no papers, he decided to go old school and leave his number together with the pickup line on the tissue paper. Before he left, he nervously greeted Taerin with a stupidly stuttering ‘Hi!’ and placed the tissue paper under the girl’s chocolate cupcake plate before bolting a la Usain Bolt towards the cafe’s entrance.

 

In class, he can’t stop thinking about the possibility of the girl to hate him right now and during dinner, he was thinking about transferring any college near to Siberia or anywhere far away from South Korea when he received a text from an unknown number.

 

unknown number

that is the lamest pickup line i ever received thru out my 18 years old of life

you’re lucky you’re cute

8.45pm

 

Jongdae screamed so loud his friends almost secretly planned to banish his existence in their gang.

 

“That was ten years ago okay? I’m still stuck in my high school phase.”

“But seriously, hyung. I didn’t see that coming.” Sehun patted his back.

“How dare she embarrass me a few hours before I marry her?”

“Stay strong, my friend. You’re stuck with her for the rest of your life tomorrow.”

 

Jongdae sighed.

 

“Yo, what’s with the sigh?” Kyungsoo grabbed Jongdae’s shoulder.

“Hm?”

“What’s wrong? You’re happy after virtually kicking your brother’s a few minutes ago.” Kyungsoo asked in concern.

“Nothing. Just tired. Wedding is tiring.”

 

Kyungsoo nodded. Jongdae was not sure if his friend is agreeing about wedding is tiring or just nodding to acknowledge the reason behind his mood downfall.

 

If only Kyungsoo knows...

 

***

 

The sun is shining so brightly today accompanied by fluffy white clouds, making it a very ideal weather for a wedding day. The birds are chirping brightly, as if they are celebrating the eternal bonding between Joonmyeon and Hana. Everything is in peace in the hype of the day.

 

“WHERE’S MY BOWTIE?!”

 

Well, everything except in the room where the groom are getting ready with his gang.

 

“CAN SOMEONE HELP ME FIND MY BOWTIE?”

“YO, SOMEONE FIX MY TIE PLEASE?”

“WHO HIDE THE HAIRSPRAY?”

“HELLO? BOWTIE, ANYONE? PLEASE.”

 

Jongdae, who has completely groomed as the best man for his brother, just stared amusedly at how his siblings and friends are getting ready for the wedding. Minseok and Baekhyun are busy fixing the tuxedos of the young ones aka Jongin and Sehun. Chanyeol are almost ready but still fixing his hair. Yixing, who is usually calm, getting frantic in searching of his bowtie Kyungsoo, the mother of all of them, grooming and calming Joonmyeon at the same time. The groom looks like he will faint every ten minutes. Kyungsoo, on the other hand, looks like he will murder Joonmyeon if he said ‘HOLY I FEEL LIKE DYING’ one more time.

 

He’s happy for Joonmyeon. Last night, he and his brother had a long talk about everything; their childhood, their high school sweethearts, their dreams, their fears. It seems so cheesy to have heart-to-heart talk with your sibling but talking with Joonmyeon is one of the best things he has ever done in his entire life. Although there were a few drops of tears came down their eyes, they still managed to wipe it away and laughed about it. They slept in each other arms, keeping each other away from the fear of tomorrow.

 

He didn’t want to, but seeing all of this bringing back the memories of his wedding day a year ago.

 

Again.

 

“I’M GONNA ING DIE!”

“Jongdae, for God sake, you’re getting married. Not getting sent to fight in a war.”

“Marriage is a war, Kyungsoo! My dad said so!”

 

The rest of the gang just rolled their eyes listening to the panic rant from Jongdae. It wasn’t a lie. His heartbeat was so fast, the heart could collapse anytime. Not that he wished for it to collapse for real. What kind of groom wanting to die and leave his bride at the altar alone? But he really wished he could just stay calm as his brother, Minseok, during his wedding two years ago. But thinking about all the responsibilities he would carry as a husband makes him want to cry like a baby in his mother’s arms. This is when Jongin sometimes wonder how he is the youngest out of the Kim brothers and not Jongdae.

 

“Jongdae, calm the down.”

“Easy for you to say. You’re not the one getting married.”

 

Chanyeol rolled his eyes again before focusing back to his phone. Probably texting his girlfriend who is probably as busy as them at Taerin’s house, preparing herself as one of the bridesmaid for Taerin.

 

“Hey. Think about happy thoughts okay? Like how you’re going to spent the rest of your life with the love of your life.”

 

Jongdae felt thankful when Minseok reminded him that. Minseok might be quiet but he’s the oldest among them and he always knows the right words to say at the right time. He’s also the first one among them who got married, which means he has the experience on wedding jitters. Jongdae remembered how fast his brother’s heartbeat was when he was at the altar, waiting for the bride to arrive. He felt it himself when Minseok suddenly grabbed his hand and placed it over his chest. But when his future wife arrived, Jongdae saw Minseok literally glowed up and all the dark clouds over his head went away. He saw his brother’s huge eyes getting glistened up, seeing how beautiful his bride is.

 

He knew what Minseok felt that time.

 

Ultimate happiness.

 

And that’s what he wants.

 

Together with Taerin.

 

“Thank you, hyung.”

 

The brothers immediately hugged each other, and then joined by the other two Kim brothers, later the hug getting bigger when the rest of the gang joined for a group hug.

 

“Jongdae?”

 

All the memories faded away when a hand softly touched his shoulder. He looked up and saw Yixing looked at him curiously.

 

“Yes hyung?”

“We’re all ready. Group hug with the groom before we go?”

“Yeah.” Jongdae smiled and stood up. “Let’s go.”

 

***

 

Later that evening, the garden of Grand Pacific Hotel, Seoul, one of the Kim family’s hotel branches, is full with the excitement of celebrating the newlyweds. After the ‘I do’s were exchanged at the church in the afternoon, the groom and bride along with the rest of their friends rushed to the hotel to prepare for the wedding dinner.

 

The bride and groom made a speech after everyone including them is well-fed and settled down; thanking everyone for making the wedding a reality. Jongdae maybe shed a tear or two during the best man’s speech. He’s very happy for his brother and sister-in-law and wished them a happy and blissful marriage. After they finished, everyone cleared the dance floor to give the happy couple their first dance, which later joined by their parents and friends.

 

Jongdae, who is sitting in one of the table near the dance floor, just happily smiled seeing Joonmyeon dancing with his wife. They looked very happy in each other’s arm. The jealousy is there, but he feels it’s unfair to feel that way towards his own brother. He decided to go to the punch bowl and refill his own glass. He didn’t plan to get drunk today even when all the champagne and red wine are calling for him.

 

“Oh, is that you, Jongdae?”

 

Jongdae froze when he heard the familiar voice. He turned around and saw one of his nosy aunts called him from the table near the punch bowl. Remembering his mother’s advice to be polite with everyone no matter how much he hates the person, he sauntered his way to his aunt and seat beside her.

 

“Hello, Aunt Jiyeon. How are you?” He politely asked.

“Oh, of course I’m well, boy. How about you? The last time I saw you, I don’t remember you being this skinny.”

“Well, I’m too busy with work to eat.”

“It’s been too long, Jongdae-ya. You’re not finding someone new?”

“No.”

“You need someone to take care of you, Jongdae-ya. Can you handle standing by yourself for the rest of your life?”

“I can perfectly take care of myself without someone by my side.”

“You’re still young. You can find another woman better than her.”

“No one can be better than her. She’s the reason why I’m still alive today.”

“She’s not here, Jongdae-ya.”

“Maybe in your world. Not in mine. She’s still here.” Jongdae pointed his finger to his chest.

“But–”

 

Jongdae immediately stood up from his seat before politely bowing to his aunt and walked away from the table.

 

This is why he hates wedding sometimes.

 

Everyone reminds him about Taerin.

 

How Taerin is not here by his side and how he should find another woman to replace her.

 

No one, and he means no one, could ever replace her.

 

Jongdae stopped walking when he found himself standing at the lounge area of the hotel near to the garden. He sat down on the chairs and calmed himself. He realized he’s not alone when someone sat down beside him. He turned to find his new sister-in-law smiling at him. She is a beauty with a brain. No wonder his brother falls for her. He smiled at her, which was replied with a beautiful one.

 

“Everyone is partying at the garden, Jongdae-ya. Why are you alone here?”

“Nah, just getting fresh air. What are you doing here, noona? Joon hyung will search for you.”

“I already told him I’m searching for you.”

“Oh.” Jongdae sounded surprise. “Why?”

“I saw you talked to Aunt Jiyeon before you walked off suddenly. Is everything okay?”

“Nothing serious.” He bitterly smiled. “I’m just being silly.”

“You know you can talk to me about anything right?”

 

Jongdae looked at the sincere smile of Hana. He wanted to let everything out but he didn’t want to ruin the mood especially the bride’s. However, the soft hand of his sister-in-law grabbing his own trembling one making him wanted to cry. He tightened his grasp on Hana’s hand and leaned his head on her shoulder.

 

“It’s funny how I can’t remember this as part of my wedding, noona.” He shakily began.

 

Hana run her thumb over Jongdae’s hand, encouraging him to let it all out.

 

“All I can remember is having my bachelor’s party and preparing for the wedding day. I can’t remember the vow, the dinner, the speech. All I remember is seeing Chanyeol walked towards the church door and hugging his shivering girlfriend there. And everything went dark. It hurts to remember that, noona.”

“It’s hard to forget, Jongdae. It’s okay if you can’t let her go yet. But don’t hurt yourself like this.”

“I tried, noona. I tried. But I can’t. It’s like my life is better if I have her in my mind.”

 

Hana just rubbed her brother-in-law’s shoulder, trying to calm him as much as she can.

 

“I know it’s been a year. But thinking about her makes me go on with my life. She’s still part of my strength.”

“It’s okay, Jongdae. Just take your time okay?”

 

Jongdae just nodded. He laughed when Hana wiped off the tears running down his cheeks. Jongdae thanked her for listening to his rant and apologized for ruin the mood. Hana just lovingly patted the younger’s head and said it’s the duty of a sister-in-law. She asked him to walk back to the garden together with her to laugh at Chanyeol’s weird dance with his fiancée. He just shook his head, wanting to stay there for a while. Hana nodded and began her walk back to the venue.

 

“Noona?” Jongdae called out to his sister-in-law.

 

Hana turned around to look at him questioningly.

 

“Thank you for not running away out of fear and leaving my brother at the altar like how Taerin did to me.”

 

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