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The sound of alarm blasting from the phone on the side table woke Kim Jongdae from deep slumber. He stirred from inside his burrito blanket, letting out a wide yawn. Without making any move away from his current position, he rubbed off the sleepiness from his eyes. He blindly swung his right arm to turn off the alarm before he alerted the whole apartment building with his Banana Song alarm ringtone.

 

He slowly made his way towards the bathroom. He lazily brushed his teeth and cleaned himself in the shower. Feeling refreshed, he walked to the built-in wardrobe and picking out his outfit of the day. He pulled out a baby blue button down and black skinny jeans. As he nodded to his fashion choice, he hummed a happy song while drying his short brunette hair.

 

After he dressed himself and combed his hair to middle part style, he went to the kitchen for a quick bite. Holding a piece of bread between his teeth, he made his way out of the building. While munching his bread, he looked around the neighbourhood he lived in. It was still early since it is Sunday. There were barely anyone in the street except for himself and a couple of elderly. Smiling politely towards the couple, he sashayed his way to his favourite cafe to buy breakfast.

 

As he arrived at Shine & Howl, he quickly greeted Minseok, his favourite barista who was preparing his customer’s order. Espresso, he thought. He could smell the strong caffeine.

 

“Good morning, Jongdae-ya! What can I get you today? The usual?” The always-hyper Chanyeol greeted him at the cashier.

“Wow, isn’t it too early to be this hyper, Yeolda?” Jongdae grinned at the tall cashier.

“Someone got himself a girlfriend last night, Dae!” Joonmyeon howled from the kitchen.

“Oh. Is it the sticker laptop girl who ordered ice blended peach tea and chocolate muffin every time she came here?”

“Oh, how you know?” Chanyeol looked flushed.

“Dude, you’ve been talking about her for the past two years. I’ll personally slap you if you haven’t tell her about your feelings.”

 

Chanyeol lightly chuckled to Jongdae’s playful threat. The latter cracked a broad smile looking at his blushing friend. He felt happy for Chanyeol because he finally confessed his feelings towards the girl he had been crushing on since the first time he met her at this cafe. Chanyeol’s love story is almost complete.

 

Yours too, Jongdae. He thought. Just be patient.

 

“Okay. Stop making me blush.” Chanyeol rubbed his nape. “What can I get you this morning?”

“I want tuna croissant and Americano.”

“Okay.” Chanyeol clicked in his order. “What about for her?”

 

Jongdae recalled all the breakfast he had brought for her for the past three months. He looked again at the menu board above their heads. His eyes went from ‘Sandwiches’ to ‘Light & Quick’ to ‘All-Day Breakfast’. She tried most of the menu here. And she always tell him the ones she likes the most.

 

“English breakfast set. And green tea.” Jongdae decided.

“It’s her favourite, huh? I think I pressed that for a few times this month.”

“Yeah. She likes the way Joonmyeon cooked the scramble eggs.”

 

After passing the cash to Chanyeol, he went to the bar to wait for his order to be prepared by Joonmyeon and Minseok. Since there is no one else queuing up, Chanyeol went to have a chat with the brunette.

 

“So, how are you doing?”

“Tired, but I’m still happy. I get to see Taerin every day.”

“How is she? I’m sorry I never get the chance to visit a lot.”

“Getting better, I guess. She can be discharged maybe next week?” He tried to recall what the doctor told him a few days back. “Yeah, next week.”

“She must be happy. I mean, six months. Inside there. No one in sane mind could actually have stand that long cope up in ward.”

“She is. Her eyes sparkled when Dr. Do told her she can be out in a week. If she is strong enough to dance, I think she will waltz with all the nurses and doctors.”

 

Chanyeol could not help but to give Jongdae a supportive smile. Externally, Jongdae could be seen as someone who is cheerful and full of spirit. However, Chanyeol knew he needs a lot of moral support. Taking care of a sick person could be tiring. Especially in Taerin’s case. Jongdae always tell him he is okay and could take care of himself. But who knows? He might be crying his heart out every time he went home.

 

Chanyeol wished he could be as strong as Jongdae. He always admired Jongdae for his positive vibe he always brings wherever he goes. No matter how sad or angry he is that time, he will always put his best smile and mentally convince everyone he is okay. And he looked up to Jongdae’s loyalty too. Jongdae is the most loyal man he ever known for the past 25 years of his life. Even with Taerin’s current condition. He never left Taerin alone. Instead, he stayed with her.

 

Some people said he is stupid.

 

Some people said he is waiting for a miracle that might never come.

 

But Jongdae never listens to any of the negativity.

 

He stayed.

 

Chanyeol did not know what to respond. For now, he just played the role of the man’s best friend and hold Jongdae before he falls. He patted Jongdae’s shoulder; as if to say ‘I got your back, man’. Jongdae passed him a weak smile, trying to emit a positive aura.

 

“Here you go.” Joonmyeon placed a huge paper bag in front of Jongdae on the bar. “English breakfast for the lady and tuna croissant for you.”

“And here are the drinks.” Minseok placed two tall cups in a cardboard holder.

 

Jongdae carefully picked up the packages before bidding goodbye to his best friends. They promised to visit when they are free from the hectic day in the cafe and their busy weekday routines. Jongdae walked out of Shine & Howl with better mood. Although it actually did not help that much, his friends could cheer him up and make him laugh when he felt the burden on his shoulder is too hard to be carry alone. He made a mental note to appreciate his friends more and be there for them when time gets hard for them.

 

As he walked towards the hospital, he stopped by at the flower shop. He picked up the freshest white lilies and asked the woman behind the cashier to wrap it with baby blue organza. She always loves lilies. That was the flower he gave to her when he proposed to her to be his girlfriend three years ago. It was also the flower he gave to her every time they stopped fighting. He hope the little gift could make her smile today. It is a little hassle to stable all the stuff in his hands but he tried his best to walk comfortably. The hospital is not far away from here now.

 

When he saw the white building less than 200 meters before him, he felt a pang on his chest. The burden lifted up at the cafe came crashed down to him once again. He was never ready to come here. But he has to. For the love of his life. For Taerin. He has to be there for his girlfriend. He promised; he will stay, no matter what happen. He loves Taerin too much to leave her alone.

 

People told him he should give up.

 

People told him nothing can help Taerin anymore.

 

But Jongdae knows.

 

Taerin will come back.

 

His Taerin will be back.

 

Taking a deep breath, he continued his way to the hospital. As he entered the building, he felt a rock was thrown to him every time he took a step but he fought through it. He did not care the pain that will come when he arrive at Taerin’s ward. Taerin is waiting for him and he did not like to make her wait. No matter how much the devil inside him tried to scream to him to ‘turn around!’, he keep on walking.

 

The lift stopped at the fifth floor. Jongdae quickly put his best smile on and walked out of the elevator. He greeted all the nurses he met while walking to Taerin’s room. He has been visiting the same ward for the past three months. He knows almost everyone here. He stopped in front of a room.

 

Room 21.

 

Jongdae took a deep breath before entering the room. A smiling Taerin came into his view. He can feel his kittenish smile getting broader. She looks beautiful, as always. Even in her hospital gown, she looks so stunning. He smiled to his own thought.

 

“Good morning, princess.”

“Oh, hello, Jongdook. Good morning.”

“Ops, darling. No breakfast for you.”

 

Jongdae felt a little guilty to say that when he saw Taerin’s face fell. He knew he made her feel guilty for forgetting his name.

 

Again.

 

“Jongda?”

“Almost there, princess.”

“Jong... Jong...”

 

Jongdae patiently waited for his girlfriend to recall his name.

 

Like he did for the nth time this week.

 

Like he did for the past three months.

 

“Jong...dae?”

 

Jongdae smiled brightly. He walked closer to her bed before putting everything down on the table beside her. He sat down beside her on the bed before pulling her closer to his chest. He felt happy when Taerin hugged him back.

 

“It’s Jongdae, right?” Her voice muffled as she faceplanted herself on his chest. “I got right, yes?”

“Yes, princess.” He kissed her forehead. “You got it right, Taerin-ah. I’m so proud of you.”

 

 He felt her arms tighten around his waist. He did the same with his arms around her petite body. They pulled away together before he pecked her on the lips.

 

“There’s your reward.” He said as he knocked their foreheads together.

“Just that?” She pouted.

 

Jongdae let out a light chuckle before pecking his lover’s full lips again. He got up from his seat and showed her everything he bought before came to the hospital. Her eyes brighten up when she saw the flower bouquet in his hands.

 

“Is that lilies? Nurse Lee told me the name of the flowers yesterday.” She smiled in glee when Jongdae nodded. “I have no idea why but I felt really happy when I saw them!”

“That’s because this is your favourite flower. I bought it last week too.”

 

He showed her the vase full with dried white lilies on the side table. Again, he saw Taerin pouted.

 

“I’m sorry I didn’t remember...”

“It’s okay, princess.” He smiled.

“I’m a burden right?”

 

Jongdae felt his heart crushed to pieces when he heard the words came out from her.

 

“You said I’m your girlfriend. But I don’t remember anything.” She mumbled. “I’m a bad person, for forgetting her own boyfriend.”

“You’re not a bad person, princess. You’re my girlfriend. My lovely girlfriend and I love you very much.”

“You’re just saying it because you pitied me.”

“Says who?”

 

Taerin just kept quiet.

 

“No one tells me what to say, Taerin. I really love you. Truly, madly, deeply.” Jongdae kneeled on his both knees in front of her. “I’m not lying, princess. Trust me.”

“I want to remember you so bad.” Taerin curled herself into foetus position. “So bad, Jongdae. So bad.”

“It will take some time, Taerin. Don’t force yourself.” He tried to calm her.

“But I can’t even ing remember your name!” She screamed. “I hate myself! I hate this amnesia!”

 

Jongdae began to panic when she started to hit her head with her knuckles. He tried to stop her from beating herself but to no avail. She cursed herself for being a stupid burden. For still being alive after that accident. For waking up from the three months of coma. For being amnesiac for three months. Jongdae managed to stop her from hitting herself and bring her into his arms.

 

“Shh.” Jongdae tried to calm her again. “You’re not a burden, Taerin. Don’t call yourself that.”

“I want to remember you, Jongdae...”

“I know... I know...” He felt tears forming. “But it will take some time. And I will wait. I promise, Taerin. I’ll wait for you. Even if it takes forever. I will stay.”

“Jongdae... It hurts...” Taerin became weaker in his arms. “My head... It hurts... Jongdae...”

 

Jongdae quickly pressed the emergency button. In a few seconds, two nurses and a doctor burst into the door. Jongdae keep Taerin in his arms as the doctor put in painkiller to reduce her pain. He felt relieved when he felt Taerin’s body became much more relaxed after her usual fit. He thanked the doctor and nurses before they left the room. He pulled the chair nearer to her bed and sat there. He reached for her hand and brought it closer to his lips. He kissed each of her fingers, full of love. He pushed her bangs away from her forehead. He caressed her tired face.

 

“I promise you, Taerin. No matter how long I should wait, I’ll wait. Until you remember me again. Until you will be able to look me in the eyes and tell me you love me. And if the time doesn’t come, it’s okay. I’ll stay, princess. I’ll still love you as much as I do before. In fact, I’ll love you more. Because I will never stop loving you, Kim Taerin. Even if you forget everything about me.”

 

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