Chapter 34

Heartfelt Voice

Eunji sighed loudly and was quiet for a moment. "No, I won't give him a chance. Let me tell you something, therapists are taught to see people through a prism of labels and pathologies. Therapy is not innocuous. It carries real risks of harm. The harm is built in to the very foundation of client-therapist relationships: paternalism, idealization, the illusion of rescue, dismissal of client feedback in the guise of interpretation, pathologizing, dependency and victimhood"—she looked alternately at her brother and Jiyeon—"therapy is a dirty, disgusting industry. A total scam, with the government giving it a veneer of legitimacy by licensing the practitioners. Once you are labeled, you are a part of that system and it will follow you everywhere you go. It's on your permanent record, and it can be used against you."    

"I couldn't agree more. If it's not a free-flowing give and take, then it's not a natural relationship and will ultimately be more harmful than helpful. Financially, it is in the therapists' interests to make their clients dependent on them," Jiyeon responded. "When the client's being given the-best-there-is-proven-to-work-on-others but without the desired outcome, then the problem must lie with the client. Terms like resistant, lacking insight and unmotivated will be used. Therapists, whether psychiatrists, psychologists, MSCs are shysters and con men. 'You need a professional' is a myth created by these shysters and con men. There is no such thing as "mental illness"; it is a logical category error, and therefore there is no such thing as the corollary of "mental health". Anyway, I am not setting myself up against experts. I don't hold with the concept of expert in this field at all."       

Eunji gave a nod and said, making imaginary quotation marks in the air with her index and middle fingers, "'Mental illness' was created by shmucks who believe they hold the model of 'normal'. Nonconformity equals deviance equals 'mental disorders'. People play the 'mental illness' card to try to trump their opponent in an argument, 'There's something wrong with your mind!' People who commit crimes use it to try to escape responsibility for their actions, 'But Judge the disorder made me do it!' If you're 'different' and like and believe in 'weird' things, you have a 'disorder' even if it doesn't distress you, and if you disagree with them, then you are thus 'ill' and or 'wrong'. You have 'odd' interests? You have a 'disorder'. You have 'weird' beliefs? You have a 'disorder'. This is politically and socially dangerous to have a faction that is free to label virtually anything 'mental disorder.' They imply that when a minority does something, it's 'illness' but if the majority adopts the behavior in question then it becomes 'clinically normative'. Example, in the New York Times May 27, 1876, page 6 editorial, women in pants were called 'patients' who were suffering from 'permanent mental hallucination.' In real medicine, a disease remains a disease regardless of whether a minority or a majority is afflicted with it."        

"Politics is what shapes the false science of psychology. In my opinion, therapy is only for those people who sincerely find comfort in falsehoods. Sis, quitting your master's degree in junk science was the best decision. I support whatever decision you make." Jaehyun gave his sister's hand a squeeze.

Eunji smiled, lightly pinching his cheek. He returned her smile, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. Their gentle smiles reached their eyes, making Jiyeon feel warm all over. Her face lit into a slow smile. She admired their brother-sister relationship and felt lucky to have witnessed such a beautiful relationship.

After a brief silence, Jiyeon asked, her curiosity palpable, "Why did you choose to study psychology?" 

"I was curious about how behavior is studied scientifically—" Eunji closed her eyes briefly, and then exhaled a loud breath. A hint of disappointment crept into her tone as she continued, "What I found is behaviors are viewed as the result of something that is theoretical and non-observable. For instance, if a young student is banging on his desk at least once in every class, psychologists might link that to his having a certain type of aggressive personality. However, you get caught in a never ending loop. Why is he banging on his desk? Because he has an aggressive personality. How do we know he has an aggressive personality? Because he bangs on his desk. From a scientific perspective, this is not science because the behavior, banging on his desk, is linked to a non-observable cause, aggressive personality. Personality theory is pseudoscience: absolutely unprovable. The whole idea that you can measure human behavior scientifically is an imaginary soft 'science' and ludicrous. The field is highly subjective and uses arbitrary and ambiguous 'units' of measurement. If you remove statistics, no 'science' will be left." She used finger quotes to accentuate the word science and units.  

The last sentence made her laugh a little. "Psychology is more likened to a religion than a science. It is primarily subjective, based on opinions that have never been proven," Jiyeon remarked. "Statistics are used indiscriminately to try and appear scientific. Correlations are taken to prove causality. I've only have to glance their literature to see its condescension, how the profession reduces human beings to lab rats with pathologies. Brain scans related to psychiatry and psychology are a form of high-tech phrenology, don't you agree?"   

"Nobody could ever agree with someone else on any matter more than I agree with you on brain imaging. The notion that through the functional neuroimaging techniques we can read people's thoughts is fanciful. In an fMRI study, there are plenty of limitations on how real the experience can be. Subjects can't move, they can't exist in a setting in which they typically operate, and they often aren't performing tasks that resemble things they do in their ordinary life. The results of both phrenology and fMRI represent meta-individuals; the famous phrenological head with its lines drawn to correspond to the underlying faculties or the scan with its varying colors to depict oxygenation are based on averages and, in the case of the latter, subjected to a great deal of research manipulation." Eunji raised her hand for a high five.  

Jiyeon raised her own hand and slapped her palm. They both laughed. Grinning widely, Jaehyun moved back to sit beside Jiyeon and put his arm around her shoulder. "It's good to know you and my sister get along well." He kissed her cheek.

A sudden pang of guilt tugged at her heart. Jiyeon cast her eyes down and said, "Jaehyun, I regret ever asking for breakup just because your sister studied psychology."

"It's alright. We're still together," Jaehyun responded as he drew her close. Simultaneously with a thick note of disbelief in her voice, Eunji said, "You asked my brother for breakup because of me studying psychology?"  

Jiyeon nodded and looked at Eunji, who was shaking her head, mouth gaping. "I thought I couldn't get along with you," she explained. "Sis, I hate both psychology and psychiatry with a passion. Those who study it believe they know more about what others feel and think than they do themselves. They spout their opinions as if they were facts. I see you're not one of them."   

Eunji's features softened and her lips curled into a smile. "You finally called me sis. You know I recently realized that I hate psychology so god damn much. If you think of it, what is psychology? It is a field in which a bunch of so-called experts are telling us what is normal and what is not normal. These are all invented theories, but they are proclaimed as universally scientific, true, and "this is how things are". This is how we are supposed to behave, think and feel..." Her voice trailed off as she bit on her lower lip and stared straight ahead, unblinking.

Jiyeon and Jaehyun looked over their shoulders. Dressed in his black suit with a guitar case slung over his shoulder, Junmyeon walked casually toward them. Baekhyun was two steps behind him. He showed off his muscular body in a tight black T-shirt. He had his hands in his black jeans pockets. Jiyeon breathed in deep and let out a big sigh before standing up. Jaehyun followed suit. She turned around and folded her arms, watching them get closer.

"How did they know us here?" Jaehyun asked warping his arm around her shoulders.

Jiyeon shook her head, saying, "I don't know."

"How are you, Jaehyun?" Junmyeon tapped his shoulder.

"I'm doing fine." Jaehyun bowed slightly. Junmyeon looked at Jiyeon and gave a slight bow of his head in greeting. She returned his greeting with a tiny smile.

"What brings you here, Mr. Byun?" Jiyeon asked coldly, narrowing her eyes at Baekhyun, who was standing right behind Junmyeon with a smirk on his face.

"Your mother called me telling me you're here with the woman Junmyeon wants to marry. She asked me to watch over you. I'm honored she trusts me," Baekhyun countered, his smirk growing wider.

Mom, why did you feel the need to call him? Why don't you trust me! Jiyeon hissed out a breath through her gritted teeth. His smirk made her want to punch him in the face. Her hands clenched and unclenched at her sides.

"Don't waste your energy on him," Jaehyun whispered, holding her hand. Jiyeon nodded and took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down.

Baekhyun blew a huff of air upward, ruffling his bangs before whispering something in Junmyeon's ear, who was staring at Eunji. He took the guitar case off Junmyeon's shoulder, ped it and pulled out the black instrument. Baekhyun handed it to him. Junmyeon slung the guitar strap over his shoulder and seemed to be swallowing, his Adam's apple moving up and down jerkily.

"Jung Eun..." Junmyeon rubbed his hands on his black suit pants and blew out a shaky breath. "Baekhyun, I'm so nervous."

Baekhyun laid his hand on his shoulder and squeezed it, saying encouragingly, "You can do it, bro. Go on."

Jaehyun and Jiyeon looked at each other quizzically then shifted their gazes to Eunji. Sighing, Eunji got to her feet and took a step closer to Junmyeon. "What do you want to tell me, Junmyeon?" she asked casually. "Are you going to busk in the street?"

"Eunji, this is the moment I've been waiting for. Please listen." Junmyeon inhaled deeply, tilted the guitar neck upwards and strummed the strings, bringing out a soft melody. A proud smile crept across Baekhyun's face as Junmyeon started singing:

I want to do all the things that man should say and do.

I want to fulfill all your dreams. Simply cause I do love you. 

I want to give the best I got. I want to do it all for you.

What I'm really trying to say is that I want to marry you.

A collective gasp filled the air when Junmyeon went down on bended knee in front of Eunji, his guitar resting on his right thigh. Baekhyun stood on his knees beside him and held out a little black velvet box. Junmyeon gave him a small nod, his fingers gently strumming the strings. Baekhyun popped open the top of the box, and inside the diamond on a ring band glittered like the eye of a serpent. Eunji scratched her head and looked nervous as Junmyeon continued to soar through the song, pouring emotion into every word:

Yes, I want to marry you. Here I am on bended knee.

I want and need you in my life 'cause you're all I'm living for.

I want you to be with me forever. To spend our life together.

As husband and wife. Beyond forever. Beyond growing old.

His efforts and his music touched Jiyeon's heart. Jiyeon felt her eyes grow moist. She blinked and linked her arm in Jaehyun's, watching his fingers smoothly glide along his guitar's strings. Staring at Eunji with soft eyes, he sang in a gentle croon:

If for some reason you say no.

There's something that I want you to know.

That yes it will hurt me so.

But that won't stop me loving you so.

Eunji's lips were pressed together firmly, and her eyes glistened with unshed tears. She cocked her head to one side while Junmyeon continued singing his heart out:

For in my heart, my love for you will still forever grow.

Now and beyond this life that we both—

"Stop it!" Eunji's voice cracked. She looked down at Junmyeon, tears sliding down her cheeks. "I can't marry you."

Junmyeon's lips trembled and his eyes grew moist. Baekhyun rubbed his back as if trying to comfort him. Junmyeon ducked out of the guitar strap and handed it back to Baekhyun. He then rose to his feet and cupped Eunji's face in both hands, wiping away her tears with his thumbs. "Could you please tell me the reason?" he asked, his lips trembling badly as if going to cry.  

Eunji took his hands off her face and spoke in a firm but shaky voice, "You're a therapist. Psychotherapy careers are born from delusions and feed on problems, so they pathologize human experience and overwhelm society with lies as if every problem can get better with the right kind of mental transformation, as if every person could benefit from psychotherapy 'once they're ready.' Junmyeon, lying to people in order to make money doesn't improve their emotional/spiritual condition. Psychiatry and psychology with their fancy labels are very dehumanizing. I don't want to get involved with anyone in this so-called helping profession."  

With tears streaming down his face, Junmyeon grabbed her hands and held them to his chest. "If that's the reason, I quit my career as a therapist. Eunji, I never considered myself a healer or fixer. I never gave people fancy labels. I didn't use biomedical language like symptom and disorder. I just listened to people and tried to understand their issues, and occasionally came up with an idea or suggestion for them to consider at their own determinism," he said, his voice cracking as he fought back tears. "I love you so much. I'll do anything for you, you just have to ask and I'll do it."

Eunji stilled for a moment with her eyes downcast, then reached up and wiped his tears from his face. "Let's go busking," she emitted lowly, barely above a whisper.

Junmyeon nodded, a slow smile erasing the sadness on his face. He picked up his guitar case off the grass and slung it over his back. "Let's go." He held out his hand. Eunji took it, closing her fingers around his.

Eunji looked at her brother and Jiyeon and told them, "Jae, Ji, I'm leaving."

"Be careful and have fun, sis," Jaehyun said with a faint smile on his face.

Jiyeon just nodded, wondering why she asked him to go busking together. Does it mean she accept his marriage proposal? She said she won't give him a chance! "That's none of your business, Park Jiyeon," she voiced her thoughts aloud. Jaehyun gave her a quizzical smile while Baekhyun curled his lip with some sort of distaste and then he sprang to his feet.

"Wait bro!" Baekhyun called out. Junmyeon and Eunji stopped in their tracks and turned around. "You forgot this!" He waved the small box in the air then walked over to them. He handed it to Junmyeon.

Junmyeon took it and looked at Eunji. She shook her head and said nothing. He stuffed the ring box into his suit pocket. "Thank you, Baekhyun." He patted him on the arm. Baekhyun gave him a brief hug and watched as they continued their walk.

"Kim Junmyeon, you're so stupid to sacrifice your career for that anti-psych. You're so good looking. I'm sure you can find a more beautiful woman than her, who will accept and love you for what you are and who you are," Baekhyun grumbled aloud after they disappeared from sight. "Jung ing Eunji, you're an . You don't deserve him."

Jaehyun clucked his tongue, shaking his head at his remarks. Jiyeon leaned closer and whispered in his ear, "Let's go. I'm so sick of him."

"I'm sick of him too," Jaehyun responded, and they walked arm in arm. Baekhyun jumped up and blocked their way. He grabbed Jiyeon's left hand and pulled her towards him. A startled gasp escaped her lips.

Twisting her hand, Jiyeon struggled to break free. "What do you think you're doing, Mr. Playboy?"

"You back off! Let her go or I will make you!" Jaehyun growled, raising a clenched fist in the air.

Baekhyun gave him a challenging look, tightening his grip on Jiyeon's hand. "ing boy, I carry out her mother's order! This youngest ing teacher is now my soon to be wife, so you better keep distance from her! Do I make myself clear?" he shot back.

Jiyeon kicked him in the shin with all her might, which caused him to bend over, grabbing his leg in pain. "How shameless you are to claim me as your soon to be wife!" she spat the words out venomously.

Baekhyun straightened up and glared at her, his nostrils flaring. "The youngest ing teacher, last night your mother begged me to marry you. I felt pity for her. Hence, I agreed to the arranged marriage. You should thank me," he hissed through clenched teeth.

Jiyeon let out a short laugh of disbelief. She'd never thought that her mother would have demeaned herself: begging a man to marry her daughter as if no man would willingly marry her. She felt her pride trampled. A knot formed in the pit of her stomach. Balling her right hand into a fist tightly at her side, she allowed a bit more indignation to lace her words than necessary. "I'm sure the real reason you agreed to the arranged marriage is because you want to take revenge on me. I still remember clearly when you swore you won't stop ruining my relationship. You're really a big jerk."

"You're indeed clever." Baekhyun laughed, clapping his hands together. "Marrying you is the greatest way to ruin your relationship, to separate you from that ing boy."

"Enough, Jiyeon. Don't waste your energy on him," she told herself inwardly and nodded, agreeing with her own words. She in a few deep breaths, calming herself, and then turned around to face Jaehyun, who was narrowing his eyes at Baekhyun. His chest rose and fell rapidly. She took his hands in hers and spoke in a quiet voice, "Jaehyun, his family has invited my parents to have dinner at home. And I'll attend the meeting. You don't need to worry. I just want to meet his mother, that's all."

Jaehyun nodded, his eyes softening. He slowly pulled her close to his body. He hugged her tenderly without saying a word; her muscles melted in his warm embrace. After a few moments, he brushed her cheek with his hand. He caressed her long hair. They never stopped looking into each other's eyes. He finally lifted her chin to kiss her lips, strongly and passionately. Jiyeon returned the affection. Locked in each other's embrace, they kissed with a passion.

"You two are so disgusting, so shameless!" Baekhyun grabbed her by the arm and pulled her out of their embrace.

"Bro, you're so jealous. Just admit it. You wish you could be me," Jaehyun snarled, his eyes shooting daggers at him.

The hand holding Jiyeon's arm tightened as Baekhyun's face darkened with anger. Responding instinctively to the rising tension between the two men, she jerked her arm out of Baekhyun's grasp, a little surprised he released her so easily, and moved to stand in front of Baekhyun. Jiyeon tried to make her voice sound calm as she spoke: "We're done nothing wrong. We kissed each other willingly. Why are you this angry?"


 

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KimmyNurry
692 streak #1
Chapter 40: Congrats on the bid! ^^
lovelyfeisty
#2
Chapter 40: Congratulations on the highest bid and I'll be reading soon!
WR_Supplier
#3
Chapter 34: Congrats on the ad bid feature!
dreamshun
1842 streak #4
Chapter 34: Congrats^^
Damia_Song123 #5
Chapter 34: Congratulations on winning the bid ^^
Ghad20
#6
Chapter 34: Congratulations
sabirah
#7
Chapter 34: Wow the whole story is so overwhelming ,i would likely to digest the gist of it ...Love it as it's been a long time that i read this kind of story before 😍