Chapter 30

Heartfelt Voice

Jaehyun grabbed Baekhyun's wrist and said, "You better stop pointing your finger to her."

"ing boy, you really are a perfect match for her!" Baekhyun countered through gritted teeth as he twisted his hand, struggling to break free. "You two are crazy conspiracy theorists."

Jaehyun laughed, tossing his hand away. "In case you didn't know, the label "conspiracy theorist" was coined by CIA," he spoke, his sharp tone matching his expression. "In 1967 CIA released a dispatch that promoted the label "conspiracy theory" and "conspiracy theorists" as a propaganda device for their media assets to use against people who challenged the official narrative about John F. Kennedy's murder. Today, the label "conspiracy theory", "conspiracy theorist" is enough to silence anyone who questions the official narrative of an event presented to the public."

"According to DSM, the mental health profession's bible, people who question authority are "dysfunctional"—afflicted with "oppositional defiant disorder," and exhibit a pattern of negativistic, defiant, disobedient and hostile behavior toward authority figures," Eunji chimed in. "We are all sick by what the world is coming to and how the media manipulates our thinking. Biased news reports flood our TV screens. But how often do we check a story against the mainstream? Anyone who breaks the mould of indoctrination will be labeled a conspiracy theorist, mentally ill, crazy, insane."

Baekhyun shook his head, staring at Eunji. "Wow, it turns out you are—"

"A crazy conspiracy theorist just like my brother and Jiyeon?" Eunji interjected. She let out a long, deep, audible breath before continuing, "Listen, Baekhyun. Questioning authority to think for yourself makes you more fully human, more in charge of your own life. You know 'Stockholm Syndrome' is not what you've been told. Nils Bejerot, the psychiatrist who coined the term 'Stockholm Syndrome', never spoke with Kristin Enmark, the woman he based it on about the details of the hostage-taking. This term was invented to silence an indignant young woman questioning his authority and discredit women victims of violence. It's common for so-called "mental health professionals" to make up theories to "explain" the behavior, thoughts and feelings of victims of violence. They do more harm than good. I have seen, I have witnessed on a firsthand basis the fact that they are ' of the Court' and when paid they will testify for whatever side pays more."        

Baekhyun opened his mouth, but before he could utter a word Jiyeon interrupted him, "Repressed memory therapy is a bogus psychological practice in which innocent people were accused of imaginary crimes and families were destroyed by lies. Dissociative identity disorder, DID, previously known as multiple personality disorder, MPD, is the result of this bogus psychological practice. The author of the book Sybil, Flora Rheta Schreiber, the psychiatrist who treated Sybil, Cornelia Wilbur and the client, Shirley Ardell Mason, aka Sybil are responsible for shaping the myth of dissociative identity disorder. These three women all profited from manufacturing a woman with DID and crafting a childhood replete with maternal abuse—" She paused, gulping a deep breath. "Mr. Byun, there is no testable, credible, reliable scientific evidence to show that the mind is capable of "repressing" memories of traumatic events and then being able to "recover" them years later. The big problem with hypnosis is that the new way of thinking is not the client's way of thinking—it's the hypnotist's way of thinking. It is the hypnotist's ideas being implanted into the client."

"Psychiatrists and psychologists act like kings and queens who want to assert "truth" onto you when in reality it's just minding." Jaehyun's voice rose a notch. "They not only claim to have expertise they don't have, they claim to have insight into how people should think, feel, and behave. Unfortunately, so many people believe their claims. How many times do you hear their advice 'if you're depressed, get professional help'? Psychotherapy is an utter fraud. If you're unaware of your own mind to the extent that you'd need someone else to tell you why and how you do things, then that kind of makes you a robot. Without the "medical model" with its presumed expertise, what is left in mental health?"   

Baekhyun glared at him, answering, "Scientific knowledge, ing boy."  

The three of them exchanged glances, then Jaehyun retorted, "Psychology is a bunch of guesswork fueled by personal biases, then masked by scientific jargon. So-called professional psychologists teach a belief system, bro."  

Still glaring at him, Baekhyun tightened his jaw. "You better shut your goddamn mouth, Jung ing Jaehyun! You don't know what you're talking—"

"Psychology, like psychiatry, is not a science. What they practice is pure charlatanism. None of the various forms of therapy have ever received scientific scrutiny as to how replicatable they may be in terms of outcome. Much of CBT consists of a 100 pages of check-points, which assumes that we are machines, like clocks or computers. It's very easy with CBT to label any issues in therapy as further manifestations of the client's distorted thinking, or even to say that a client who challenges the therapist's assumptions is "not ready to get better." If the client gets better, the therapist will take the credit, if they don't, they will blame the client," Eunji interjected, raising her voice.

She drew in a long breath and expelled it. Dropping her voice a notch, Eunji continued, "Projective tests are crap. They rely on a model of consciousness that has not been validated scientifically. Their claim to measure a wide range of psychological domains has not been backed by any data. When a professional psychologist asks their client to draw a picture, and she goes in analyzing every bit of the picture, it reminds me of a fortune teller reading tarot cards. Baekhyun, psychological research lacks evidence of validity. In all psychological text books and research papers are about theories, only for someone to come along and refute it, rendering us back at square one."       

Fortune teller! Well, psychology is a crock of . Jiyeon pressed her lips together to hold back her laughter.  

"Nobody labeled 'depressive' or slapped with any other psychiatric label in the history of man, got that label after a psychiatrist or a clinical psychologist tested their dopamine, serotonin, norepinephrine," Jaehyun added. "A chemical imbalance had never been observed in a human brain. There's no way to measure live neurotransmitter levels in the human brain, so there's no "healthy level" of neurotransmitters by which to even make comparisons. Psychiatry has assigned a pathology to the normal human condition—making clients out of normal. In fact, depression is a very normal response to the death of a loved one."  

"So, so sad, that people who only need support and a listening ear, are instead pathologized and drugged." Eunji sighed.

"Mr. Byun, psychology/psychiatry isn't the study of the brain. That is neurology. Did you know the vast majority of your serotonin receptors reside in the gut? The brain is not the beginning and end of 'who' we are," Jiyeon said. "We are more than just flesh and blood, even if we are biological at root."

Grabbing his backpack, Baekhyun sprang to his feet. "I'm sick of hearing your antipsych crap." He slung its straps over his shoulders. "Because people like you," he added, pointing his finger alternately towards Jiyeon, Jaehyun and Eunji, "people with mental health issues don't seek proper treatment."    

Jaehyun clapped his hands twice and stared up at him. "The thinking, behavior and emotions are not diseases; it is perfectly normal to go through emotions like grief, anxiety, sadness, etc. To deal with these experiences, reconnecting with ourselves and the earth is much better and more effective than seeking "professional mental health treatment". The whole idea of treatment is fiction because there is no disease. The campaign to end the stigma of mental illness is pharmaceutically driven, funded by big pharma. The psych/pharma industry is the one stigmatizing emotions and behavior as 'disease'," he spoke slowly but firmly. "People who have been forced to take medications that have given them tardive dyskinesia and akathisia are victims of an abusive system. These so-called medications are chemical lobotomies. Big pharma knows nothing about humanity. They treat us as experimental guinea pig."  

Jiyeon looked at Jaehyun, a smile adorning her face. He must have studied the history of psychiatry for realizing how destructive the industry is. A wave of admiration washed over her, admiration for him. Her smile grew radiant. 

Baekhyun blew out a loud sigh. "The youngest ing teacher, you met poeple who have the similar views on psychology and psychiatry. You're so happy, huh?"  

Jiyeon shifted her gaze to him. "Why don't you use a happiness scale to measureeeee how happy I am right now?" she retorted, twitched in an attempt at hiding a sardonic smile. She took Jaehyun's hand and squeezed it affectionately as she added softly, "I'm so damn lucky to have met this boy. So damn lucky to be loved by him."

Baekhyun pressed his lips together in a firm line, glaring at her. He jerked his gaze to Jaehyun, who was smiling from ear to ear. Adopting a mocking tone of voice, he spoke, "ing boy, you must be proud of yourself for getting ed by the youngest ing teacher in this city. How many times did she you? Did she teach you how to her? Was she—"

"Would you shut your dirty mouth up?" Eunji snapped.

Jaehyun expelled a loud sigh before leaping up to his feet. When he held out his hand, Jiyeon took it and stood up next to him. He gave her a smile then looked at Baekhyun sharply as he spoke, "Bro, if you break down the word psychotherapist, it will be psycho the . So psychotherapist is a psycho whose job is people's minds. Don't be one, have mercy on innocent people."

His words evoked an angry reply. "You goddamn son of ! How dare you insult the psychological profession?"

"My definition of psychotherapist is based on the word psychotherapist itself," Jaehyun responded slowly but firmly.

Jiyeon rose to her tiptoes and whispered, "I'm quite sure what I'm going to say will make him angrier. Be ready, okay?"

Jaehyun nodded. She tightly interlocked her fingers with his and looked down at Eunji. "You said you're interested in hearing my voice hearing experience," Jiyeon began. Eunji gave her an enthusiastic nod.

"Don't mention him," Baekhyun hissed fiercely.

Confusion blanketed her features. Eunji got to her feet and questioned, "Who is the him actually?"

Jiyeon took a deep breath before answering, "The voice I've been hearing belongs to the him. The him is his deceased twin brother, Byun—"

"Park ing Jiyeon, you're a goddamn !" Baekhyun roared, his eyes widened, his teeth grinding, the veins in his temple throbbing fiercely.

Seeing how angry he was, Jiyeon wondered: how was his relationship with his twin brother? According to Baekwoon, he got all the attention from their father, so why he seemed to dislike him?

Balling his right hand into a fist, Baekhyun took a step and tried to grab Jiyeon's collar, but Jaehyun grabbed his wrist. "Don't you dare to lay your hand on her," Jaehyun warned as he tightened his grip. Baekhyun winced, and he loosened his grip as he added, "Your brother was obsessed with her. He stalked…"

Baekhyun slammed his forehead into his, causing him to stumble backwards. Jaehyun fell on his . A collective gasp escaped their lips. Jiyeon stepped towards Jaehyun while Eunji grabbed Baekhyun's wrist and dragged him towards the front of her house.

She dropped to her knees before him, reached up and cupped his cheeks. She felt the tug of guilt in the pit of her stomach. "I'm sorry, Jaehyun," Jiyeon whispered as she touched a small, pink bruise on his forehead, making him wince. "You got this bruise because of me." She planted a lingering kiss on the sore spot, hoping it would relieve the pain. This was what Baekwoon did in her dreamland, which helped relieve the pain. She heard him giggle, and she drew back.   

His eyes sparkled, almost glistened with the tears. "It's so amazing your kiss relieves the pain."

She couldn't quite believe what Baekwoon did in her dreamland worked in the waking life. She plopped down on the grass. A slow smile spread across her face, and then a small laugh escaped her.

He held her hands and looked into her eyes. His expression was very gentle. "You shouldn't have apologized to me. You did nothing wrong," Jaehyun said tenderly. "As your partner, it's my responsibility to protect you."

His words brought warmth to her heart. They stared deeply into each other's eyes in silence. Jiyeon felt magnetized and found it hard to pull her eyes away. She felt his energy hit her, and she guessed he felt the same. It felt like time stood still.

"The youngest ing teacher, I'm going to bring your mother here!" Baekhyun's scream filled the air, followed by the roar of his motorcycle, ruining her moment of bliss and euphoria.

"If he really brings Mom here, she will force me to go home and…" Jiyeon scratched her head with her both hands, frustrated.

Jaehyun cupped her face and said in a reassuring tone, "I'll try to convince your mom to give us her blessing, so don't worry, okay?"

His tone and expression melted away her frustration, and turned up slightly at sides in gentle smile. Jiyeon gave him a nod. Jaehyun planted a kiss on her forehead, making her smile grow wider, and then he stood up and said, "Wait here. I'll be right back." He ran off.

I love it when my love kisses my forehead. It's totally endearing. It's a tender intimacy rather than a ual one, like something a mother would do to her kids. Jiyeon lay down on the grass. Putting her hands behind her head, she gazed up at the vibrant blue sky with white clouds floating by. She watched as the clouds changed shape and formed into something familiar: a horse carriage. How wonderful! She sighed in awe. 

A moment later, Jaehyun came back with his guitar. "Playing guitar is fun and relaxing." He sat beside her and adjusted the guitar in his lap. He bent his head to listen as he tightened and loosened strings, needing no gadget to tell him when the note was true. Some people could tune instruments just by ear—apparently Jaehyun was one of them.

"Do you play a guitar?" Jaehyun asked.

Jiyeon pulled herself up into a sitting position. "I never touch a guitar in my life."

"Why don't you try it?" He held the instrument by its neck and handed it over to her.  

She giggled and placed it across her lap as Jaehyun had done, the waist of the body curving over her right thigh, the long slender neck cradled in her left hand. Jiyeon the guitar's body with experimental fingers, learning the smooth curves of it. When her fingers hit the strings, a sharp squeal erupted.

"No." Jiyeon shook her head. "I can't."

"You haven't even tried."

"Yes." She rolled her eyes and groaned at the horrible sound she had made.

"I'll teach you how to play." Jaehyun repositioned himself so that he sat behind her with his legs wide apart. Her back was against his chest, to where she could feel the beating of his heart through their clothes.

"Let's try a G chord first." He put his head on her shoulder as he guided her fingers to the strings. Her heart was racing because of how close he was. Briefly, she wondered if he could feel her heartbeat. "Your index finger goes on the second string from the top, on the second fret—just press the string with the tip of your finger—that's right."

"Ah, it's kind of sharp," Jiyeon said. It wasn't exactly painful, but the string did cut into her finger in an unexpected metallic way, like pressing against the edge of a nail file.

"Fingertip soreness is a common problem for all beginners. Your fingertips will toughen up after a while," Jaehyun responded. "Do you want to stop?"

"No, it's okay. It doesn't hurt. I was just surprised, that's all."

"All right, then. Press your index finger down, and then put your middle finger on the top string, on the thrid fret—right here—and your ring finger on the bottom string on the same fret."

Jiyeon did as she was instructed. She pressed the tips of her fingers against the strings, feeling the cut of the steel, the warmth of his breath on her neck.

"Use your index fingernail of your right hand to strum downwards. Upstrokes are with the thumbnail, got it?"

"No, I don't think..."  

He helped her position her thumb and index finger of her right hand as if she was holding a guitar pick, and then helped her strum on the strings. A softly musical sound rang out. She was thrilled. "Wow!" she exclaimed eagerly.

Jaehyun grinned. "You want to learn a second chord to go with that?"

She nodded enthusiastically. "Sure."

"Let's work on a C chord, then." Jaehyun wrapped his left hand around hers, helped her press her fingers into the right positions. "You'll feel a bit of stretch, but you can do it."

Her fingers were spread across three frets, a stretch indeed for her small hand, but he was right—Jiyeon was able to do what he asked of her. She felt like she was in a wonderful dream. She never thought he would teach her how to play a guitar. We're switching roles! He's my teacher, and I'm his student. She smiled, inwardly chuckling.

"When you strum this chord, skip the top string. Only strum the bottom five, okay?"  

"Okay." Jiyeon found it easy enough to avoid the top string as she strummed. Another sweet soft sound echoed from the guitar, and she turned her head to smile at him. "That was easy."

Jaehyun returned her smile, his eyes crinkling in that way that made her feel warm all over. "Of course, the real trick is to be able to switch between them."

She took a deep breath before she tried it, pausing, fingers fumbling, but doing her best to go smoothly from G chord to C chord, over and over. Jaehyun pulled away from his position behind her and moved forward. He sat before her, watching her fumble a chord change.

"I think I'm done well." Jiyeon lifted her fingers off the guitar strings, noticing the stinging feeling in her fingertips. She rubbed them with her thumb.

Jaehyun set the guitar to the side, took her left hand and brought it to his lips. "You're not only a good teacher but a good student too." He kissed each of her fingertips lingeringly, his hot breath blowing between her fingers and sending little shivers through her.

"Teacher Jung, promise me you won't teach another woman," Jiyeon said, a joking tone creeping into her voice.

A slow smile crept across his face. "All right, I promise I won't." Jaehyun pulled her close and gave her a light, soft kiss on the tip of her nose.

Jiyeon giggled and pulled away. She lay back down on the grass, and Jaehyun followed suit. He lay beside her. In silence, they watched the clouds drift across the sky, changing shape, sometimes merging together and sometimes breaking apart again. It was amazing how at one moment she could make out the shape of a horse, and as she watched, it would gradually morph into a bird.

"I have always been fascinated with the sky and what floats in it," Jaehyun mumbled. "I find great joy and peace while watching clouds. You can find animals, objects, even people if you look a little bit 'outside of the box'."

"The best and beautiful things in life are free," Jiyeon remarked.

"Hmm..." he said, sounding like he agreed.

The sun shining down warmly and a cool breeze blowing across her skin made her feel relaxed and drowsy. A loud yawn escaped her lips.

"If you want to take a nap, go ahead." Jaehyun interlocked his fingers with hers and held tightly. "I won't go anywhere."

Jiyeon switched her gaze to him and met his gentle gaze. They exchanged smiles, and she mouthed, "Thank you." She then slowly closed her eyes.


 

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KimmyNurry
692 streak #1
Chapter 40: Congrats on the bid! ^^
lovelyfeisty
#2
Chapter 40: Congratulations on the highest bid and I'll be reading soon!
WR_Supplier
#3
Chapter 34: Congrats on the ad bid feature!
dreamshun
1842 streak #4
Chapter 34: Congrats^^
Damia_Song123 #5
Chapter 34: Congratulations on winning the bid ^^
Ghad20
#6
Chapter 34: Congratulations
sabirah
#7
Chapter 34: Wow the whole story is so overwhelming ,i would likely to digest the gist of it ...Love it as it's been a long time that i read this kind of story before 😍