Fifteen years wasn’t a long time, but it was enough for an agonising anticipation.

Fifteen years, that was 7,884,000 minutes - the whole of Kim Taeyeon’s life - worth of waiting for one particular moment, a moment for herself to astonish the audience in the most glamorous way. This was it. She had wanted, trained for a lifetime awaiting for this competition. Taeyeon had been mocked by and publicly humiliated because of this apparently ridiculous, meaningless and shameful dream of hers, to become a singer. None of those judgemental and perhaps sarcastic discouragements mattered, Taeyeon was baffled but viciousness didn’t halt her steps, instead it urged her on. In the fifteen years she was born, Taeyeon had nothing but one thing glued to her mind - singing. She had always been stubborn, according to her parents, so she wouldn’t give up even if the entire world turned against her will. Taeyeon couldn’t be more grateful for having such supportive and understanding parents, for the countless times they drove her back and forth between Seoul and Jeonju for the past three years.

Taeyeon had prepared so much and for so long for this audition, yet there she was, her lips dry, her hands were shaking uncontrollably, fright took over her whole. Contestants must not interact nor encounter one another before the audition, it was to prevent exchange of information as well as preventing audition details leakage. The audition was to be held behind closed doors, rules and regulations must be obeyed otherwise the delinquent would be disqualified without further discussion. This bizarre but common rule was doing Taeyeon a favour for she was never the most sociable person to begin with. Meeting new people caused unbearable stomach ache for Taeyeon, let alone meeting her rivals who had potentials to rob the place from her.

But did isolation help? No, Taeyeon still couldn’t fight off the panic and anxiety running wild in her veins. In fact, the past thirty minutes of her life was spent kneeling beside the steel locker in the dressing room, alone. Why? Why was she chickening out like this? All those contests she had gone through prior to today’s audition, had they been in vain? Had she not gathered enough courage to step on a bigger stage to show her determination to the world? To let everyone hear her? 

Without any apparent reason, Taeyeon was petrified, she was just simply scared of setting a foot on that grand stage with a dozen blinding spotlight focused on her and her only. Then before she knew, her name had already been called thrice and no longer being read out - ever again. Still, she didn’t move a muscle, didn’t even tried lifting or blinking when she heard her own name being called. Before she knew, her chance was gone, drown in those everlasting running footsteps in the hallway.

Slowly, she came to her senses. Reality hit her with full force, that the only chance she had been waiting and preparing for was actually gone - she let it slipped through her fingers, like shapeless sand escaping one’s grip so effortlessly. Hate spiralled and rose from the bottom of Taeyeon’s sunken heart. Hatred towards her own self, hatred for her cowardliness and her abundance of the only thing ever mattered in her future prospect. How? How could she flee at the very last minute, when she was just about to make a significant step toward her dream?

When Taeyeon finally rose to her feet, her ankles felt weak and strength was taken from her. She left the dressing room and found no one, not a single soul, wandering in the hallway. She rubbed her puffy teary eyes to get a better vision, but there wasn’t anyone. The audition was over for all she knew, but had they all left already? How long has she been locking herself inside the tiny room back there? Taeyeon walked on, through the empty hallway and into the passage leading to the main stage. The air is heavy, thick with uneasiness and ominousness. Taeyeon didn’t know what led her on, she should be heading back to her parents, they were probably waiting - pacing up and down - outside the stadium. There was a surge of feeling - urging her - to head toward the stage she never got to see, where she was meant to be. Right, she needed to know the results too, at least that would settle some wrinkles in her sunken heart. Taeyeon reasoned.

The other end of hallway was dimly lit. Taeyeon wasn’t sure if she was allowed to be entering the main hall, so she stayed put beside the door left ajar, listened carefully for signs of sounds. Only silence greeted her during the five minute wait, dead silence, to be precise. Taeyeon took a deep breath before pushing the door open. As expected, the hall was vast and empty, however ghostly spotlights were left on, as if they were still waiting for someone - maybe the last performer - to put on a splendid show. But that was purely an imagination inside Taeyeon’s mind, there weren’t any judges, nor was she an applicant anymore. It was probably just somebody not doing their job properly. Taeyeon walked around the edges of the main stage, she was now a level lower than the stage. She halted her steps right in the middle, in front of the stage, where the judges would had been busy applauding for or eliminating contestants. Taeyeon stood there, staring blankly at the brightly lit stage. What would it be, if only she didn’t chicken out? What would her future be, if only she was brave enough to get up on this stage and sing with her heart and soul in front of the judges? Would she, be able to rise hereafter?

Questions, bombarding questions multiplying themselves within seconds inside her murky mind. Hate, suffocating hate directed at none other than herself, turned into an unleashed beast, roaring, frantically tearing her fragile heart apart. Without acknowledging, Taeyeon’s stare became intense, fuming with fire and self-hatred. She wanted this day to come - she had been waiting for this chance to prove herself to the world - that her dream wasn’t some thoughtless, dismissible, hilarious joke. She wanted to believe all the effort she had put in wasn’t in vain. Even if she ended up losing, it was still a million times better than running away. Regretfulness started consuming every inch of Taeyeon, it stabbed her right through where it hurt most. Warm tears welled up her eyes but were held at bay. Taeyeon wouldn’t cry, she refused to admit defeat, not yet, not right now. She couldn’t afford to have her dream crushed now, she wasn’t ready for any part of this.

‘I honestly think you’re much better than the winner, in terms of talent and appearance, of course. You’re by far the most talented human I’ve come across.’ 

A low masculine voice, filled with remorsefulness, echoed in the hall. It startled Taeyeon who was previously lost in her own thoughts. She quickly turned around to trace the source of that strange voice. It was somewhat strained, filtered, a little squeaky for a man’s voice, there was evident joy embedded in the tone - if Taeyeon caught it right. For a second, Taeyeon found nothing but a still hall, then she saw a shadow forming a silhouette from afar near the hall entrance. Its shape resembled a man, a tall figure hidden in the dark where the spotlights couldn’t capture its rounds and edges. He was taking steady steps toward Taeyeon and she remained unmoved, squinting at the mysterious