Jongin lived far away from his old family, he still remembered the roads, the places his brothers would take him, the pc bang they would threaten the local kids to pay for whenever they decided to game together. His feet were on autopilot, taking in the sights through the eyes of his twelve year old self.

There were new buildings he didn’t recognize, the old noraebang place one of his older brothers loved was gone, instead replaced with a ratty looking laundromat. Jongin shook his head, they were probably collecting debt from there anyway, knowing how upset Xiumin would have been.

Jongin missed them, being part of something like that, no matter how many times the people that took care of him told him it was wrong, that being part of a gang was dangerous, it all he knew. The protection, the respect, the love; they were his family.

A small breeze sent chills down his spine as he turned to look at a street sign, his street sign. Home.

His hands were clammy, his heart racing with what that meant. It’s been years, too long, he’s aged so much he didn’t even know if they would remember him like this--

“Jongin?” A voice said, Jongin whipping his head up quickly to see who it was, that familiar voice...

“Xiumin hyung?” He smiled for a second, the shorter man gaping at him before pushing him roughly away from the door.

“Are you ing insane? Coming back here after all these years?” Xiumin seethed in a hushed voice, the older man still pushing him into an empty alley.

“I’m sorry,” he instantly curled against himself, his back hitting a wall as Xiumin tried to cover him with his body.

“If anyone sees you here they won’t hesitate to shoot you Jongin, you left, you’re already dead to them.” Xiumin had his eyes wide, scared almost, Jongin didn’t know why. “What the were you thinking?”

“I know, but.” Jongin bit his lip, trying to make himself look smaller than he already felt. “We’re family.”

“Were, we were family, Jongin.” He shook his head. “I would take you in if I could, but you know I can’t, you know what they do to people that leave, Jongin, you’ve been with us long enough to know the consequences.”

Jongin knew, he remembered, seeing his brothers pull out their guns before he could even blink. He knows.

“I have nowhere to go,” Jongin whispered, looking Xiumin straight in his eyes, the man hesitating before speaking.

“You had somewhere to go all those years you were gone!” He was hissing, Jongin shaking his head with shame, the other man staring at him before sighing. “Why would you ever come back to this hole when you were free!” It wasn’t a question, Jongin knew that.

“I know somewhere you can go, but you have to promise me, promise me you won’t ever come back.” Xiumin said after a tense second.

Jongin knew he couldn’t do that. “I can’t, we’re fam--”

“Listen to me!” Xiumin grabbed his shoulders so he could slam Jongin roughly against the wall. “You won’t mention my name, no one’s name, you’ve never been in a gang before, you just came out of jail after an armed robbery and have nowhere to go, repeat after me.”

“I can’t--”

“Do it!”

“I’ve never been in a gang before, I went to jail because of an armed robbery and have nowhere to go.” He repeated, lips quivering, he didn’t want to do this.

“You lived your whole life in a well off family that kicked you out when you were ten.”

“Hyung--”

“Say it!”

Jongin shook his head slowly, eyes wide. “I lived my whole life in a well off family that kicked me out.”

“Your name is Kai.”

“My name is Kai.”

Xiumin patted his shoulder once, peaking behind his own for a second before staring back at him. “The person you want to see name is Yifan, he’s a softie for pretty faces and lost eyes, use that to your advantage.” Xiumin reached into his pocket to pull out a wad of cash. “Use this, keep it, protect it, don’t let anyone see it.”

Jongin’s eyes bulged out with the amount that could be in there; couple of thousands at least. Xiumin slipped away as Jongin stared down at his hand, fingers curling around it before stuffing it into his pant pocket.

“Walk around the corner until you see a painted blue door, say Magenta as soon as the door opens and don’t look at any of them in the eye, keep your head down, then ask about Yifan, they’ll take you where you need to go.”

The older man breathed in through his nose. “You’re such a wreck, Jongin.” and there it was, that voice he remembered, the worried voice of the younger man Jongin used to know, the one that protected him, the one that babied him when no one else did. “Where have you been this whole time? After you got caught..”

“Juvie, then an orphanage,” Jongin wiped his eyes. He couldn’t cry, not now.

Xiumin gave him a sorry look before he wrapped his arms around Jongin’s body. “I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you,” he breathed, pulling away to kiss Jongin on his forehead then looking down, Jongin staying close to tuck his body into his. “Stay low and walk fast, make sure no one sees you, ok?”

Jongin nodded into his skin, Xiumin had to shove him before he would let go. He didn’t want to say goodbye, not so soon.

“Ok,” he repeated, fixing the strap on his shoulder before bowing his head to leave.

He was only a few steps away before Xiumin spoke up again.

“Me and you, we will always be family, they won’t take you in, but I always will.”

Jongin wanted to cry, he wanted to tell him how much he missed him, how much he thought of him and the other’s, but he knew it would only make it worse.

Xiumin smiled sadly for a quick second. “Stay safe, little brother.”

---

The blue door wasn’t hard to find, it was partly because Jongin was pretty much running down the streets in fear of being recognized. He didn’t know if he was already blacklisted, so much for family. A part of him knew that this would happen, but he held onto hope. Hope that they would still see the same little boy that followed them around for years of his life. Hope that they would have missed him half as much as he had missed them.

It was stupid of him to think that, but at least there was one of them that still remember. The brief flash of sadness that went through his brother’s eyes will haunt him forever. This was his life now.

He knocked on the door three times, keeping his head up so they could see his face through the makeshift peephole. When the door opened, there was a gun already being placed on his head.

“Magenta,” Jongin said before they could get a word out, making sure his words void of emotion. Don’t be weak, you can’t be weak.

The gun was put down as Jonghyun closed his eyes, the person who opened the door grabbing him roughly by the arm and pulling him in. “Seems like we have a strangaler.” The man said, voice laced with amusement.

Jongin put his head down, footsteps coming closer to where they were. He opened his eyes to see shoes on the floor.

“Take your shoes off before entering, boss would kill you if he saw you inside with them.”

With furrowed eyebrows, Jongin slowly took off them off, making sure to keep an eye on the multiple pairs of feet coming in.

“Hyung will be here soon,” One of them said, hauling Jongin in when he was done.

“He’s gonna like him, I can already tell.” Another chuckled, a finger lifting his chin up so they could look at his face. He still kept his eyes down. “He’s trained, look at him.”

“Stop touching the kid,” A deep voice boomed, Jongin jumping a little.

“Ah, Yifan is here.”

“Is that the boy?” Yifan asked, taking slow steps until he was right in front of him. Jongin kept his head down, the men looking at him with a tilt to their head, Yifan walking around him like he was a piece of meat on the road. He felt like one anyway.

“He said magenta, huh?” Yifan sneered, taking a few steps closer to kick his knees. “Wonder whose he is.” he was mumbling to himself, Jongin keeping his eyes on the ground, his legs aching with the way he stayed still on his knees.

“He’s cute,” another voice teased, teasing the tips of the back of his hair. “We should keep him.”

“Down, Zitao.” Yifan said, but Zitao just stepped in closer.

“Why, I like him. Why send him all the way to the west when he can stay here?”

“Because he isn’t ours and I have a feeling i know who he is.” Yifan grabbed Jongin by his hair to raise him up. “Look’s like Xiumin’s little boy,” he tipped Jongin’s head back until their eyes met. “And I owe him a favor.” there was a glint in his smile.

“What a shame.” Zitao shook his head, turning his head to say something in a language he didn’t understand.

“What a lost soul,” Yifan tsked, releasing the grip on his hair to flatten the tresses back down. “Too pretty for a life like this.” he was talking to himself, mumbling something Jongin couldn’t understand.

“I guess we’re off then, Luhan get the ready.” He smirked to himself. “Looks like we have a ride ahead of us.”

I'm pretty sure it's been half a year since I updated.....hello. 

 I also don't know what size and font to use for my fics....any recommendations?