Taeyeon's POV

 

 

The richer part of Korea.

 

Where I, a lower class, works as a janitress at some school.

 

It was the only thing that my educational attainment could get me.

 

Walking along this snowy streets, shows me the beauty of human life. The laughter of the people beside me walking gives me a glimpse of their life where they can at least get through a day without starving, and freezing. How they are able to receive the necessities in life easily.

 

Where they are able to find time to simply walk and buy the wants of their fellow family members amazes me. Since I wasn't able to do that for her...

 

Lucky, they truly are.

 

I see that there are kids, asking their mothers to buy them teddy bears, while here I am, I can't even give a proper meal that can fill up her stomach for one whole day. 

 

I can feel the cold piercing my petite body, all I had was this thin jacket while the others have those fashion designer ones. There's nothing that I can do, it was all that my small savings can ever afford to protect me from this weather.

 

I continue to walk back to my home, the longer I take to walk here, makes me see more of the misery that I am in. Or the goodness in life that I am missing...that we are missing.

 

The inequity that I can see flashing through my eyes on who gets to be happy and who gets to be miserable. Why can't everybody just be happy? Do I deserve to be miserable? Do we?

 

I'm am not mad at those who can afford their wants and needs. I'm only jealous, I admit. But maybe, you can take it as anger. Or bitterness. I know that the successful people should be taken as an inspiration to work hard, but it is hard to find that inspiration when you are there working your off with an empty stomach and a freezing body.

 

It is hard to find that inspiration when guilt would always hunt you.

 

It makes me jealous that they are happy, while here I am miserable for who knows how long. I was always a good child, had good grades, and I would always follow what my parents would tell me. Until one day, I decided to disobey one thing they told me to do...

 

And here I am, I reached the poor part of Korea.

 

The rats, as some might say.

 

I had no doubt that this was the poor part of Korea, because this is where I live.

 

I can already here a couple fighting because this man cheated on his wife. The screams of the drunk men, trying to ignore the pain of life through singing trot songs, forgetting their nagging wifes for a while. The haunting image of people that do drugs attacking us one day.

 

I see the kids, fighting over a piece of colored paper.

 

How strange that they didn't mind the cold and harsh weather.

 

And this is reality for my life. A life where a job can't get us through a day, where the simple things is what we fight over, how we can't give out the best to the people that we love.

 

I stop in front of our house. Could it even be categorized as a house?

 

It had a thin metal roof, and thin wood surrounding everything where we can sometimes see through our other neighbours since we share the wall to save resources.

 

With a sigh, I knocked on the door of our house. The house that didn't had doorbells, a padlock, the only thing where we give our hope for security. 

 

I here the padlock being unlocked, and then the door opened. I see her, Miyoung, smiling at me. Always smiling for me.

 

"You're home." I nodded at her with a straight face and entered. I sat on the floor with a small television that can only show the news channel. She sat beside me and took my hand.

 

"I was able to get coffee and some biscuits for dinner, the lady was so mad at me, but I really promised her that I will pay our debts tomorrow. But most likely, I won't be able to." She told me as she giggled at the end. How can she giggle at this?

 

"You can eat the biscuit. We can share the coffee, I'm not that hungry."

 

"No, you can have the coffee and we'll share the biscuits. You've been giving me much more half of your meals, Taeyeon-ah. You're getting thin, we'll share, okay? We're family." Miyoung insisted while I gave out a sigh.

 

"I told you, I'm not that hungry. You should eat it. Just please, listen to me." I stared at the television while she went to the side to make the coffee.

 

I stared at her as she continued to make the cup of coffee. She is beautiful, as always. With a different scenario, this view could be more beautiful. If only we had a real kitchen with a decent dining table, it would have been a good situation. But then again, here we are, with her wearing clothes that has holes and cuts, are those even clothes? They could be categorized as drags.

 

If only I listened to mother.

 

If only I waited a little longer.

 

Mother told me to break up with her, it was something that the society can never accept. Her father that didn't accept me, telling me that I am no good for his daughter. But I didn't listen, we ran away, with the fire of passion burning in our hearts, never thinking of the complications because we were in love.

 

I was wrong. I convinced her to run away with me, why was I so selfish. Now here we are, I made her miserable with me.

 

Maybe I could have waited a little longer. Maybe I could have finished college before we ran away from our parents.

 

I stared at her as she walked beside me and sat. She handed me the coffee and I said a small thanks. I set aside my coffee, not feeling that hungry. I was empty, but not because of food...

 

"How was work today?"

 

"Same old, same old." She giggled again, and once again, I wonder how she can seriously giggle at this situation of ours. She suddenly put her arms around me and straddled me as she smiled at me. I looked back at her eyes, her eyes that beamed optimism. I asked her the question that I've been wanting to ask for years.

 

"How are you still happy with me?"

 

"Because you have fought for me."

 

"I've fought for you...And look at where we ended. Where I made you end up in."

 

"I know that we could have been in a better situation than this but I'm with you. Hopefully, you're still happy with me."

 

"I am happy with you. But I can't give you everything..."

 

"Being with you is already everything for me. And I still believe, that my 'future' engineer Taetae will someday find that hole that will lift us up from this misery." And with that, the tears that I've been holding for so long, trying to be stong, finally dropped from my eyes. Miyoung held my face and wiped out the tears from my eyes.

 

"Taetae, I still love you. I'm proud of you, please continue fighting for us."

 

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I can't even fill up your tummy, I'm sorry for not giving you a good life." I cried out.

 

"There's nothing to be sorry. We're together and that's all that matters. I love you. I believe that we'll work this out together and we'll be happy together and forever." And she hugged me.

 

Can I fight through this problem? 3 years since we ran away and we're still here...

 

But because she is there...

 

I'll believe in myself too.