They sat in silence by the new fire as they moved the wolves out of the cave. Jong Kook leaned on the cave wall as his shirt was taken off and his arms were bandaged.

It was so quiet, only the flickering of torch and insects were heard.

Ji Hyo looks at the dagger in her hand then to Jong Kook’s back. The scars that she saw on his back on the wedding night. It looked like bite and scratch marks. Did something happen..?

Then she turned away, shook her head.

No, I shouldn’t think about him. Out sight, out of mind.

She nodded to herself as she felt her body shivering. The chilly breeze rush passed her, making her shiver. She hadn’t even changed from the wet clothes from earlier.

Song Ji Hyo, you told yourself that you will stop loving him. You have to stop being nice to him. A man like him doesn’t deserve you.

Yet she can’t help it. The look in his eyes keep lingering in her mind. The fear, the tears, the blood, the stern look on his face…

Ji Hyo tried to close her eyes and fall asleep, trying to ignore what just happened. But a voice crept in her heart, making her curious.

Jong Kook kept his silence as he leans on the wall. His eyes were closed but his brows furrow.

What did he just do?

He grabbed the wolf as he rolled Ji Hyo over, tumbling over the fire and grabbed the dagger. In the dark, he had aimlessly stabbed at the wolf that growled under him. He could still feel the blood from his arm dripped down to his hands.

He had gotten the dagger and vigorously stabbed the wolf over and over again as it stopped moving but he didn’t stop. A dark shade of his mind keep telling him to dig the dagger into it.

It was as if he had lost all control until he felt Ji Hyo’s hand over his.

*Flashback*

Teenage Jong Kook was attacked by a group of wolves, tearing at his skin, biting him. He screamed, yelled, scatter for control over his body. But he couldn’t reach anything as he felt the warm liquid and agonizing pain on his back.

It felt like he was dying, he couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t do anything to stop the pain or blood from slashing out.

He reached his hand and finally felt a burning sensation. A fire wood that still burned.

*Flash back to thoughts in the present*

He then heard her voice, echoing then became clearer.

“It’s dead.” Ji Hyo said. “Its over.” she nodded.

He felt the dagger lightly pulled from his grip. Then a soft touch on his cheek, her hand held his face as she stares deep into his eyes. He caught her gaze, the look on her face looking at him The tears glimmer in his eyes, threatening to fall.

Tell me this is real. Tell me I’m not alone. Tell me…I’m safe... please.

“The wolf is gone. Everything is alright. You are safe.” He looks at her lips moving as he finally heard it.

Those words made him lose his stern expression as his body tremble. Jong Kook glances down at the dead wolf below him.  

Its dead. It won’t hurt me, us.

He gets off the wolf and backed away from the wolf and Ji Hyo.

Its gone. The wolf is…dead.

He rubbed his face and sigh in relief, closing his eyes as the fire reflected in his eyes.

Jong Kook opened his eyes and looks at his bandaged arms that Ji Hyo tended.

Ji Hyo.

He slightly turns his head back to look at her. She had faced the other side.

The worried and warm look on her face from before, he can’t forget it. The soft words she spoke, the warmth of her small hands on his face, telling him the words he desperately wanted to hear.

But he remembers it now. Why did she tell him she loves him? Why treat him coldly one second and help him next? Is she trying to confuse him?

He kept his eyes on her back as he sees her shoulder moving up and down in a shivering motion.

Should he check on her? But thinking of how he was just mere minutes ago made him stop.

How could he show her that side of him? The vulnerable and weak side of him. He’s a general, he has to be strong by why in front of her of all people?

Ji Hyo broke the silence. “When I was 12,” she spoke, “my father was almost killed.” Jong Kook could hear everything but he stayed still, wondering why she was telling him this.

“I saw it with my own eyes. The arrow struck his body and he falls back on his chair as blood gushed all over his clothes.” She grew teary. “People scream and guards drew out their swords to identify the shooter. But I couldn’t do anything, I could only stare and watch as my father suffers in pain. I was useless...”

Jong Kook looks his eyes on her as he listened carefully.

“I was so scared of losing him, my only family.” Ji Hyo said almost bitterly.

“From that day on, I told myself: I will not be useless. I have to become stronger. That’s the only way I can protect him, at least do something for him.” Ji Hyo sniffs as her voice became strained.

“I learned many different techniques and skills so I can release myself from being a burden to my father and be useful, like a son.”

Then the silence continue until Jong Kook talked.

“Why are you telling me this?”

Ji Hyo opened her eyes. “I just wanted to let you know, that you’re not alone.” She turns around and looks back at him. “The fear that you felt… I did once too.”

Jong Kook looks away as he breathes deeply while Ji Hyo stares at his back, scarred.

“Fear, its not a shame to feel it. Because it’s what makes us human. It’s what keep us striving in our life.”

Jong Kook sighed as he pretended not to hear her anymore but deep in his heart, he admit, it was true.

Ji Hyo only observed his back as he refused to answer her.

“What happened to your back?”

“Why do you want to know?”

“Can’t I?”

Jong Kook moves his head to see her, her eyes stayed on his back. But before he could say another word-

“It’s fine if you don’t want to tell me. I don’t want to know either.” Then she turned away to sleep, leaving Jong Kook alone to himself.

***

It was passed midnight as Jong Kook woke up. The fire had gone out with little sparks of flame left, no wonder he felt cold.

He get up and rebuilt the fire as he passes Ji Hyo.

He heard groaning and murmurs. He was about to walk away but a voice keeps telling him to at least make sure she was alright.

He took a step back then another towards her.

“Ji Hyo,” he whispers. But no answer or movement. He lightly touched her shoulder to see her face.

He almost gasp but his expression changed drastically.

“Ji Hyo.” Her face was really pale, shivering, having cold sweats. He immediately touched her forehead. Her body was as cold as a sheet of ice.

“You- fool.” He grabbed her up, feeling her damped clothes. He hesitated as his hands moved to her uniform.

No, I’m just helping her. He reassured himself but he felt nervous. It wasn’t the first time he had touched her but this was the first time he had hesitated to do so.

Jong Kook tried to close his eyes as he took off her uniform robe. He notices the bandage over her wound was seeping through with hints of herbs and blood.

His hand stops again as he was about to remove the bandage of the wound.

Why am I hesitating so much? She is just a woman. He shook his head. Although she is a woman, I need to help her right now.

As he removed the bandage, his heart beated faster. He felt almost breathless.

But he was completely focused now as his eyes frown at the wound. It had turned purple around the slash, the blood had turned a deep red-purple color.

The herb he got earlier was able to stop the poison from spreading. The poison was often used during the battle against Jong Kook’s troop so he knew what it was when he saw it. But he hadn’t expect them to add in a different poison formula with it.

He has to get the poison out. Jong Kook set her against the wall of the cave and grabbed the dagger. He ran to the river, washing the blade a few times with the water then coating some leftover herb against it.

He returned to the cave and sat next to Ji Hyo as positioned her to get a good angle of her shoulder.

He holds up the dagger on the fire a bit to warm it up then turns back to Ji Hyo.

Ji Hyo wakes up to the burning sensation, pinching pain on her shoulder.

Her eyes heavily clocked open as she suddenly grunt as she felt a sharper pain. She pushes whatever it was in front of her with her hands but her right arm was too weak.

She felt a hard, warm thing on her hand. Ji Hyo tried her best to open her eyes and sees him as the pain stop.

Jong Kook was sitting in front of her. Then she turned her head to see him holding the dagger then her shoulder.

“What are you-“ Ji Hyo tries to move but her shoulder brought another aching, making her crunch over.

Jong Kook holds her still. “The poison has stopped spreading but it is stuck, I have to get it out.”

He looks at her in concern, “Bear with it, ok?”

Ji Hyo tries to speak but the pain enabled her, making her lightly nod her head.

More concentrated now, Jong Kook held her shoulder firmly with his left hand and grip the dagger in his right hand. He lightly poked at the swollen wound, piercing the poisonous area.

Ji Hyo cringe in pain as she felt a strike of pain and the sharp blade cut her skin. She tried to stop herself from making noises but the pain was unbearable as she could feel the poisonous fluid move around.

Then it came out. Jong Kook quickly grabs the small piece of cloth and covers the wound. The poison and blood dripped on the cloth as it exits Ji Hyo’s body.

He made sure it was all out before covering the wound with more herbs and bandage it again.

At this point, Ji Hyo felt like fainting. The poison had gotten out of her body but her body kept shaking as more cold sweats formed. She felt her vision blurring, fading away.

Jong Kook grabbed her as she was about fall on the ground. Her head rested on his shoulder as she knocked out cold.

He has no other choices now.

“Don’t blame me,” Jong Kook said to her in a low whisper. He took off the rest of Ji Hyo, leaving her with only the bandages to her chest and lower body. He pulled her into his chest as he rubs her back, spreading his heat to her.

He embraced her in his arms and grabbed his already dried robe and covered them up as the fire burn lowly.

He rest his chin on her head as he hugs her.

Ba-dump, ba-dump. His heart beated irregularly as he felt her chest against his.

It was different from when he was with Ara. A completely different feeling.

Ji Hyo felt her body rocking softly against a really warm body. She slowly opens her eyes as she hazily regain her conscious.

She sees herself in someone’s arms, Jong Kook’s. But she couldn’t move, as if her whole body had gone numb.

But she felt warm and safe. Then she heard his breath strain as he struggled to speak.

Jong Kook kept silent before speaking.

“When I was 14,” he spoke sternly, “I went to the battlefield with my uncle for the first time. I got lost after an ambushed, falling over a cliff into a pit of water.”

He gulped, trying to control his emotions. “I almost drowned but swam my way to shore. I spent the night there alone with no help. That night, I was attacked by a pack of wolves as it teared me apart, bit my skin while I tried to protect myself. During the attack, I used a torch and burned it a-alive.” his voice cracking.

“I couldn’t tell anyone what happened to me as I tried to find my way out for the next few days. I was found 3 days later, dehydrated, almost dead with these wounds.”

Ji Hyo felt like she was fading away again but she could hear it all.

“I never wanted to be that weak again.” Jong Kook says softly as he remembered the intense training he went through to become a soldier and became stronger. But there were nights that he would dream of getting bitten, helpless, all alone, screaming in pain as the wolves teared him into pieces.

His eyes shut as he tells her his feelings, his story.

Ji Hyo didn’t know why but hearing his restraint voice made a string in her heart pull toward him.

She had told herself she would forget him but with every move he makes, she falls deeper and deeper. Knowing how he has decided to tell her his story made it difficult for her to ignore him.

He looks down at her, whose eyes were closed.

“Why did you say that you love me?” He asked aloud, wanting her to hear him. He sees her sleeping peacefully, making him pull her back into a closer hug as he patted her head.

“Were you just lying so I would let go of your hand… or were you speaking of the truth?” He tried to search his heart for an answer when he didn’t hear any answer from her.

“Why would you love someone like me…?” he whispered.

Ji Hyo frowned to herself as she heard his low whisper.

She searched her own heart for answer. Why do I love you? Out of everyone, why you… Kim Jong Kook?

The rest of the night, they stayed in each other’s arms, wondering why things are the way it is, why she loves him, why he feels nervous when he touches her now, why?

But no one dared to speak up, afraid of what the answer would be. Whether it will bring them closer or tear them further apart.

**********************************************************************

I decided to update another chapter today.

Here's the chapter for all my Spartce shippers.

Some were asking why Ji Hyo kept going through an emotional roller coster toward Jong Kook. Others were asking if Jong Kook was really afraid to lose Ji Hyo. I hope this chapter answers your question, but if it still didn't, I would be more than happy to make it clear.

I don't know when I'll be able to update the next chapter but I will try my best. So please be patient with me. Like always, you guys are the best! Thank you for supporting this story.

Be sure to leave a lot of comments for me, I really enjoy reading them and they are more than just comments to me. :) See ya bunnies!