When I come to, I’m in a small room, on a hospital bed. Jeonghan’s the only person in the room, against the far wall, arms folded, staring at me.

I’m crying before I can even really see him.

I loved Jeonghan. In my own way, without knowing it myself, I was in love with him. I had been, for a really long time. Jeonghan was my safe haven, my confidant, my home, my happiness, my safe place. Jeonghan kept me safe, advised me, held me. Jeonghan took care of me, and I loved him. Even to the last moment, he kept me safe from Jun. He kept me from having my soul out of my body. Even right now, he’s still with me, still trying to keep me safe.

But it’s all a lie, because Jeonghan only ever did any of it to win a bet, so we wouldn’t be tied together anymore. To get rid of our Concordat. So he could screw me, take my ity, and leave. Just like that. That was his plan all along.

And the worst thing of all is that it changes nothing. With Jun, knowing that he was a snake cooled me instantly – all feelings went out the door. But with Jeonghan… I still love him. My heart still aches for him. I still want his fingers to smooth my hair over and I still want him close. I still want that. Even though he’s a liar and a bastard and a snake and I hate him, I love him. I love him so much, and it hurts so much more, but I can’t stop. I can’t stop it. I just want him to hold me again.

“Don’t cry.” His voice is so soft, so pretty. “You’ll mess up your tubes.”

It’s only then that I realize how many tubes are going in and out of me – in my nose, in my veins, everything.

Jeonghan watches me carefully. “They had to bring you in and move your surgery forward. The surgeon’s on his way. Might take twenty minutes, though.”

I stare at him, tears halting on my cheeks.

Jeonghan moves, unfolds his arms; he comes closer and sits on the chair next to my bed. “In about half an hour you’re going to be opened up for surgery to have your tumor removed, Joshua.”

That’s okay, I think to myself. It was going to happen in the morning anyway. I’m going to die anyway, so what does it matter?

“Will you let me explain?”

His face is tight with determination. Determination to not show a single emotion.

“I can’t stop you,” is all I can whisper.

“…yes, that first night, I made a bet with Wonwoo and DK. None of us were really serious about it, and the moment Jun showed up, all bets were off the table. None of us were thinking about it anymore. None of us ever wanted to hurt you, Joshua. Not ever.” Jeonghan’s fingers my cheek gently, and it feels so good, and I hate myself for it. “I never wanted to hurt you, little kitten. That was never my intention. I didn’t want that to happen, ever. I’m sorry. I did a stupid thing a long time ago and forgot about it. I’m sorry, little kitten. I’m so, so sorry.”

Normally, this is the kind of offense I don’t forgive or forget. Treating me like a plaything on a bet like some teen-boppy Disney Movie plot isn’t exactly something I want to forgive. But I look at Jeonghan, I look at his long hair and his soft eyes and sharp jaw and the planes of his face, and I just want to be with him forever.

I nod three times, tiredly closing my eyes. I can’t hold a grudge, not when I’ve only got half an hour left to live. I’m hurt, my heart still hurts, but I don’t have the will, the drive or the energy to yell about it now. “I forgive you.”

Jeonghan’s lips form a thin smile as he stares at me, my cheek softly. “How can somebody like you forgive such a cruel thing like me?”

I shrug, and I just stare at him.

“You’re precious to me, Joshua. I know I’ve never told you that, but you are. You’re important and precious.” Jeonghan’s fingers brush against the hair over my ear. “I don’t know how or why, though. It’s all weird and wrong, but you’re important, and precious.”

I can almost smile at that.

“You’re my little kitten. Is that alright?”

I nod, and smile softly. “I’d like that. Being your little kitten.”

Something shifts in his eyes and he smiles more, s