CHAPTER 4       ~~That white cloud, too, is changing little by little, like you at this moment. Joy, warmth and even this love will probably begin to change very slowly.    Even the movie we saw together, will silently be remembered in my heart. You were the one that said nothing changed, but in the end, you’re leaving me.    How many memories must I hold onto as I live.. But I know, that since I’ve met you I’ve been happy.    There’s a moon that shines on me and there’s a shining sun. Like that, after time passes, I’ll probably be able to forget you.   Even if it's a fake, for each other we must smile. My falling tears fall your appearance. So that I can laugh when we meet again… ~~     *****   Tears...   I felt droplets of tears fell on my hand as well on the piano keys which my fingers were touching. There, I knew that my emotions betrayed me again.    It's been a while since the last time I sang this song but no matter how long it had been, this song-- had never failed to make me cry and affect me in such a way that I couldn't explain.    I never thought that I would be singing this song again. I guess her sudden appearance awakened my longing soul that it made me want to go back to the past to undo all my mistakes. If only that's possible then I would instantly go back and fix everything and then maybe...   Just maybe--- we're still together at this time.       I stopped myself from playing the piano that was located at the right corner of my room and lifelessly walked my way back to my bed. I dropped myself onto the mattress while facing the plain white ceiling of my room. My heart felt heavy with all the pain & regrets that I'm feeling right now. I closed my eyes and cover them with my right arm as I let my tear to freely fall from my eyes. I stayed like that for a few minutes until I heard my phone ring.   *Ring* *Ring*   I tried ignoring it, hoping that it would eventually come to stop, for I'm not really in the mood to talk to anyone right now. But when the ringing didn't stop and the loud consecutive noise coming from my phone just keeps on getting more and more annoying for me, I finally decided to take the call.    I lazily opened my eyes and released a deep sigh as I looked to where my phone was. I hesitantly reached for it and looked at the caller ID and saw the name of my manager unnie. I slowly sat up on my bed and wiped away the still flowing tears off of my face while trying to clear my throat before answering, to not raise any worry for the person on the other line.     "H-hello... unnie..."      I managed to say but the hoarseness of my voice was still there.     "Solar-ah! Why aren't you answering your phone? I've been calling you for almost 30 mins now. I'm so worried! Anyways, are you okay? Are you still not feeling well from the night before?" A very worried voice sounded from the other line.      I paused a little bit to think of the right words to say but when I'm about to say something...   I got instantly cut off by her.      "Aigoo... I told you not to drink too much but you never listen to me! Tsk! I even made up stories just to make them cancel all your schedule yesterday but what am I gonna tell to the CEO now if you're not gonna show up even at the anniversary party tonight?" she continued with a frustrated sigh.     "Don't worry. I'll be ther---"     I tried to answer her but then, I got interrupted again instead. I was trying to stay calm & hold myself back from getting pissed since she was my manager unnie but this unnie was really good at nagging that she could make anyone lose their patience & temper right away.       "They'll probably kill me if I said that you got sick because I let you go to a nightclub with your friends the other night and even let you stay in my place after for a second round."      "Unnie I--" and for the third time, I got cut off again.     And there goes my patience... right off the trashcan.      "Aigoo~~ It's all my fault! I should have just---"      That does it!!! I'm sorry unnie but I couldn't hold it anymore... my head was already in a mess just from thinking about the other night and my heart was still in distress because of what happened. And did I mention that I'm not really in the mood to hear an hour-long scolding from anyone today?    I inhaled a large amount of air before I finally exploded.     "ESNA UNNIE!!!"      I yelled over to the phone, shocking the older girl as I finally got her to stop talking.     "Finally, you stopped!" I said feeling relieved.      "............ Y-yah, you scared me! W-why are you yelling at me?" The tone of her voice changed as I noticed that she was still taken aback by my sudden outburst.     "I'm sorry unnie but you're not letting me speak and just kept on nagging at me so I just have to yell at you to make you stop & listen to me."     "O-oh ok... I'll s-stop... so uhm... you can s-speak now..." she softly said feeling a little bit embarrassed when she realized what she did.     "Thank you... So first of all, I'm okay now unnie sorry for worrying you. I was just-- uhm... I was just sleeping earlier that's why I didn't hear my phone ring when you called (LIE) and secondly, I'll be there at the party tonight (even though I don't feel like going) so don't worry about getting chewed by the CEO and lastly, don't blame yourself for letting me go to the nightclub the other night unnie. Actually, I'm the one who's really at fault for making you lie at the company just to cover me up. I'm sorry for not listening to you and I just wanted to thank you for trusting me & believing that I wouldn't do anything to ruin my image. I'm sorry that you got to see that drunk side of me that even caused a ruckus at your place. I'm very sorry for making you see that horrible side of me and thank you so much for keeping up with someone like me."     "Y-yah Solar-ah... Why are you like this? You're making me cry (T.T)... Are you sure you're okay?"     "Yes, unnie! So don't worry too much and I'll just see you later tonight. You're gonna pick me up right?" I said as I tried to sound cheerful as possible.     "H-huh... ah yeah of course! I'll pick you up at 6 pm."     "Thanks, unnie! I got to go now and get ready. Bye!" I said as I instantly press the end call button as soon as she also said her goodbye to me...      And more so... before she starts talking again, questioning me about what actually happened to me at the night club that I came running to her house in the middle of the night without any further notice that I would be such a nuisance by bringing a plastic full of soju and beer with me that led me to be such handful for her to manage all night long.     I threw my phone on the left side of my bed as I laid on the right. I closed my eyes again and released a huge sigh as the scene from the other night replayed in my head again.     *****     2 nights ago...       "Unnie! Please... Just this once! I promise I'll listen to you from now on just allow me to go please..." I held her hand and begged.     "Aigoo~ Solar-ah! How many times do I have to tell you that I can't let you go there!? If the company finds out that I let you go to a nightclub, I'll probably get chewed alive by the vicechairman and that will be the end of my career as your manager." she said looking at me while crossing her arms.      "But it's for Krystal's birthday unnie and I already promised her that I will be there. Don't worry unnie! If the company finds out, I'll definitely take full responsibility for it and I'll surely tell them that it's all my fault and that you tried everything to stop me but I didn't listen to you and decided to just sneak out of my apartment to go to the night club without your permission!" I said as I showed her my puppy dog eyes.     "I don't know Solar-ah... but I just wanted to make this clear, if ever we got caught by the company, I won't just let you take all the fault just because you said that you will. I'm not that kind of person and what kind of manager would I be if I just let my artist get all the blame and get mistreated by the company without me doing anything. I might as well join you being punished rather than being swallowed by guilt for not protecting my own star." she seriously said while looking straight at me.     "Ooooh! As expected unnie! You're really awesome! I'm so touched!!! And that's a YES right?!" I said as my eyes light up.     "Tsk!!! You're really unbelievable Solar-ah! I don't really know what to do with you anymore. Ok! Ok! I'll let you go but just this once! And promise me that you're gonna be careful and that you won't drink too much. You know that it's not good for your body plus, you have a schedule early morning tomorrow so don't be out too late you understand. Just give me a call if you ever need a ride or anything."     "Yay! Thanks, unnie! You're the best!!!"      I hugged her before entering my room to get changed into my dark blue long sleeve laced dress partnered up with my beige ankle strap high heels shoes. And when I'm all done, Esna unnie drives me off to the nightclub herself.     *****     At the club!     "UNNIE!!! I'm so glad you've made it!!!"     A girl with long wavy black hair, fair skin, and a familiar icy aura called me as she welcomed me with a big hug. She was wearing an elegant black cocktail dress and black platform high heel shoes that make her even more beautiful.     "Of course! I would not miss your birthday for anything. Anyways, here you go! HAPPY BIRTHDAY SOOJUNG-ah--- I mean Krystal sunbae!!!" I said teasingly, as I handed her my gift (which was a silver diamond heart necklace) and gave her a very tight embrace.      "Aigoo unnie~~ what's up with the sunbae at the end? It gives me goosebumps! Don't say that anymore okay! Anyways, thank you