Confusion
Living LifeA few hours after the photoshoot, Jonghyun returned to the dorms for the night only to find his leader asleep on the kitchen table.
Jonghyun chuckled quietly to himself at the awkward state Jinki was in, before sitting down next to him and lightly running his fingers through his thick brown locks.
"Jinki hyung, wake up" he sang softly, not wanting to jolt the man awake.
The other grumbled a few incoherent words before blinking repeatedly and raising his head from the hard wood of the table.
He cracked his neck, squinting his eyes with discomfort reading all over his features.
"Does your neck hurt?" Jonghyun asked.
"A little." Jinki shrugged staring down at the table.
"Want me to massage it a bit? It's probably really stiff?" He asked quietly twiddling with his fingers.
"Umm okay." Jinki replied, his voice deep and raspy with drowsiness.
Jonghyun gently placed his fingers at the sides of the other's neck and slowly started rubbing his fingers in small circles.
"Wanna tell me why you fell asleep on the table?" He asked.
"I don't know. I think I was eating dinner and then just wanted to rest my head for a few seconds.....and then sleep got the best of me." He said while turning his head down a bit to give Jonghyun more access. His eyes were closed as contentment was brought to him through the other's fingers.
"Jinx, you have to get more sleep. This isn't healthy."
"I know Jonghyun, I've just been so busy."
Jonghyun retracted his hands and rested his head on the nape of the elder's neck making his skin tingle with sensitivity.
"I know Jinki, me too." Jonghyun sighed, allowing his breathe to ghost across Jinki's burning skin.
The two of them sat like that in silence. Both of them having mutually agreed to let their minds and bodies rest for just a few minutes as they basked in each other's presence.
Jonghyun lifted his head so his lips were right on Jinki's ear, "Hyung lets go to bed."
And without needing any response, they both got up and made their way to Jinki's bedroom.
Jinki toppled over onto the bed sighing out as his head hit the pillow.
"You shouldn't sleep in such tight jeans."
Jinki grumbled to himself, before standing back up and slipping on a pair of soft pj bottoms.
By the time Jinki sank back into the mattress, Jonghyun was already wrapped up under the blankets.
Jinki laid down and the younger curled his body behind him, sneaking his arm around to rest against his stomach.
Jinki wasn't exactly sure what was going on, or what they were doing, but for the moment he decided not to care. He'd had a long tiring day and his body needed rest, and sleeping next to Jonghyun might have been the only way for that to happen. And so, he succumbed to the comfort and slept.
~~~
Jonghyun woke up early in the morning the next day and nearly groaned in sheer comfort.
Jinki's hand had made its way under his sweatshirt sometime last night and now Jonghyun was curling his toes from the simple pleasure of skin on skin.
He carefully placed his hand over the other's as to make it stay there, which caused Jinki to yawn loudly against his his hair and scoot even closer to the other.
Jonghyun could tell Jinki was stirring awake. His thumb was now moving gently across his warm stomach and Jonghyun sighed, closing his eyes again in hope to get some more sleep.
Unfortunately Jinki's presence was much too strong and although Jonghyun felt oozing with comfort, he was also alert and waiting for Jinki to fully awaken any minute now.
The minutes ticked by and Jonghyun grew impatient knowing his hyung would try to get as much sleep as possible and avoid speaking with him.
"Jinki?" He asked gently, running his fingers over the other's. The urge to call him baby or love was there, but Jonghyun ignored it knowing Jinki wasn't ready for anything like that yet.
"Hyung? Wake up please" he sang and thankfully he heard Jinki groan and wiggle against him a bit before mumbling out a "Oh, Jonghyun" in that deep raspy morning voice of his.
"Yes hyung?"
"Um I forgot you were here" he grumbled.
"Are you glad I'm here, Jinki?" Jonghyun asked turning his body around to face the elder.
"I...yes I am" He replied, hesitantly looking up.
"I am too."
"That was the best sleep I've had in weeks" Jinki whispered, almost scared to reveal the information.
"Me too. I've never been good at sleeping alone."
"Will you...will you come back tonight too?" Jinki asked.
"I will if you'll let me." Jonghyun said, curling their hands together.
"I think this is okay...I don't know about other stuff, but this is okay" Jinki said nodding in confirmation of his words, like he was telling himself that everything was alright.
~~~
Jonghyun was driving back from vocal lessons late into the night. He'd always found it most peaceful to drive along a highway comforted by the solace of the night.
He had a pounding headache from going all day without food and groaned to himself as his stomach once again told him of his hunger.
Jonghyun smiled to himself though. Back at the dorms, Jinki would be there. And no one was more relieving to be around than his hyung.
He knew things between them were a bit sticky at the moment, but they were happy to be in each other's presence nonetheless. At least he hoped Jinki did too.
He parked his car, and walked up the stairs up to the dorms, his body aching more and more with each step.
Finally he opened the door up and instantly smiled at the smell of food coming from the kitchen.
His smiles turned even brighter when he saw Jinki in a black tank top standing over the stove cooking some stew.
Jonghyun slipped behind the other, and carefully wound his hands around Jinki's waist, nuzzling his head against his bare shoulder.
"Hi, hyung" he whispered to the man, with his lips brushing against his skin gently.
"Jonghyun....." Jinki said.
"What is it hyung?" He said, picking his head up from his shoulder and furrowing his brows in confusion.
"You shouldn't do things like that." Jinki grumbled.
"Why not?" Jonghyun asked.
"What if someone sees?"
Jonghyun released his arms from the other and hopped up on the counter.
"Who cares Jinki? It's just the members."
"Yeah but..."
"But what Jinki" he sighed exasperated.
"I don't know. Everything is just so confusing right now Jong."
"Only because you're making it that way." He responded.
"Well sorry. I'm just trying to be a responsible leader. We've had enough relationship incidences in this band."
Jonghyun sighed put heavily, crossing his arms.
"Seriously Jinki? Is that why you're being so apprehensive?"
"Yes. And rightfully so! You remember what happened last time with you and Kibum. It almost tore this group apart Jong."
"That was over two years ago, Jinki. Don't you think we're all a lot more mature now. I doubt anything like that would happen again."
"How can you know that?"
"I can't. But I believe in us. Kibum never trusted me, that's why we didn't work out. That much is obvious. Now I need to know if you trust me."
Jonghyun got off the kitchen counter and stood in front of Jinki. "Do you trust me Jinki?" He asked, his eyes boring into the other's.
"I-i don't know."
Jonghyun huffed and stalked away from the other man. He picked up his keys from the table and left the dorms, slamming the door shut on his way out.
Jonghyun made it all the way to his car with maintaining his stone cold face, but once he slid into the leather seat, he knew he couldn't hold it in anymore. He choked out a sob and gripped the steering wheel, just for something to hold onto. He slammed his head on the wheel, making it beep. Jonghyun stayed like that in his car, listening to the echoing of the sound fill his ears for the remainder of the night.
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