SIXTEENTH RUN

I’m still standing here with my eyes closed
Lost between the deserts and oceans
I’m still wandering
Where should I go

“Hoseok Hyung.”

Jungkook stepped out from his hiding spot behind the wall on the alley besides the building. He has been standing there for an hour just to catch a sight of the older guy he has been waiting for. It was hard to see the boy lately. That was why he should wait for him. Jungkook didn’t want to bother him while he looked so busy behind the cashier table.

“Oh, Jungkook. What’s brought you here?” Hoseok halted on the way out from the café where he did his part time work. He tried not to show that he didn’t really glad with the interruption. He acted casual.

“I came to see you, Hyung. You didn’t work at the mini market anymore.” Jungkook caught him glanced on his wristwatch. Jungkook’s expression changed. His coming wasn’t welcomed. “You didn’t even come to Namjoon Hyung’s place. I’m wondering if you’re okay.”

Jungkook’s voice lost its confidence. He talked so faintly that if you didn’t really listen to him, you’ll miss it. And, Hoseok didn’t hear it. He was disturbed by a phone call.

“I’m sorry. I should go first.” Hoseok tried to ignore the call for saying something to Jungkook first before he left.

“But Hyung ....”

Next two weeks is our live performance in TV station. That was what Jungkook wanted to say to Hoseok. He wanted to inform Hoseok that so the older boy could join the practice again, so the crew would be together once again. He thought it was a good idea to gather them at their live performance. But before Jungkook could say anything Hoseok already fled away while accepting his call. He looked so busy talking to the person on the phone.

Something was happened. Jungkook knew it. But that didn’t change the fact that he felt upset because once again he failed to talk to Hoseok. Jungkook already tried to catch the older boy several times since that short getaway, but each times he failed. Once, Hoseok fled away before Jungkook could call him. The other time, someone interrupted them and most of the time Hoseok excused him self after Jungkook mentioned about the crew’s update. Hoseok always made an excuse that he was really busy these days and promise that he would try to come to Namjoon’s place if he got some free time, but he never fulfilled the promise.

Jungkook felt that he lost a brother that he could always depend or talk to. A friend that knew him so well even before he said anything. To think about it, Jungkook knew it was only one-sided. In fact, it was always only Hoseok who understood him meanwhile Jungkook didn’t know a thing about him, other than the older boy depended on anxiety pills to survive.

The memory of that night confession clenched Jungkook’s heart once again.

Can someone do something? Anyone. Was it already the time for them went back to their own home?

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

“Tae Hyung, can you really do nothing about this?”

That night, after some dance practice that Jungkook and Taehyung pulled out quite good even without Hoseok’s guidance –they tried to practice more so when Hoseok came back the older boy would be proud of them—they laid down on the wooden divan. Stargazing at the night sky even though there was no star to stare at on big city like Seoul. To be focused on the dark view in front of them, somehow made them felt a little bit melancholy and lonely at the same time. Night sky without star was like the condition of the crew right now.

Seven was so rowdy before, but now when three was missing out, they felt like something so precious was gone to the point that they couldn’t get that back.

Taehyung closed his eyes in surrender.

“I don’t know.”

“You can do something, right, Hyung?” Jungkook asked once again with more emphasis but Taehyung didn’t react to it. Jungkook tries to say more things. “You always have an idea to gather everyone back. There’s no way you don’t know.”

“I really don’t know, Jeon Jungkook.” Without he realized it, Taehyung already rose his voice to Jungkook that made the younger one got up along him.

“Why are you angry at me, Hyung?”

“It’s because you keep pushing me to do something when I don’t even know how the to do it better without hurting anyone more. I’m …. argh!” Taehyung stood up from the divan to walk to another side of the open space.