For zaraaki 

Prompt: Jongin's pov on Chanyeol's love and care for him

It’s in the little things really. Jongin likes to watch most times, to sit back and observe things as they happen, appreciating them, good or bad. It grounds him, in a way, lets him feel like he has a modicum of control over his own life and the things that happen to it. It settles him.

So when Chanyeol does things like push more food onto Jongin’s plate when he thinks he isn’t looking, or braces himself behind him in a crowd when they’re pushing through the rowdy throng of people at the airport, Jongin feels a strange twinge in his chest as he watches it happen.

And it keeps happening. Chanyeol hauls a box of water bottles from the supply room into the practice room to hand one out to everything. Jongin notes that his has a different label and it’s the only one that’s cold. He doesn’t even know when Chanyeol slipped out to get him one from the refrigerated vending machines. His ankle has been bothering him a little; Chanyeol must have noticed. He always notices.

Jongin takes the bottle with a grateful smile, pressing it to his foot to let it absorb the cold feeling of the icy water for a bit. He offers Chanyeol a towel for his sweat in return, feeling something bloom in his chest as he watches the bright smile stretch across Chanyeol’s face when he takes it.

Even when they get back to the dorms, Chanyeol insists that Jongin head into the shower before him, despite losing the rock paper scissors game between them all.

“It’s way too hot in here,” Chanyeol says. “I could use a hot shower anyway.”

‘You need the hot water more than I do,’ he doesn’t say but Jongin can see it clearly in the gentle lines crinkling around his eyes when he smiles.

Jongin wonders how he’s supposed to feel, conflicted and afraid that he’s taking advantage of Chanyeol, even though Chanyeol’s always the one who starts it. He can’t help but think of what it says about him too even if he knows Chanyeol means well. Chanyeol always means well.

So he sits back and watches some more, observes as it happens, and how it weighs on his own worth. He sees it then, when he really looks. Not at the things Chanyeol does, but at the way he does them. It’s never pity, never treating Jongin like he’s any lesser, it never feels like he’s demeaning Jongin’s worth as his own person. There’s kindness in Chanyeol’s eyes, genuine consideration, a careful eye watching out for Jongin when it matters because that’s the kind of person Chanyeol is. Putting himself a little further back on the backburner if it means someone who might be struggling more can go by a little more smoothly. Always because Chanyeol believes everyone he cares about should have as much of a shot at just being comfortable as he is. He doesn’t push and he never oversteps.

Jongin decides he’s done just sitting back and watching it happen one sidedly.