“Would you guys be interested in coming to see Kyungsoo sing this Thursday?” Chanyeol asked with a wide grin.

Jongin raised an eyebrow in surprise. “He sings?” Now that was something he hadn’t expected to learn about the ophthalmologist.

Chanyeol nodded vigorously. “There’s this wine bar that I’ve been playing at for the past few years every week and Kyungsoo also recently started singing there every month, since the bar manager recruited him after one of my gigs. He’s always enjoyed singing, ever since we were kids, and he used to be in our high school choir,” the guitarist explained.

“That’s very interesting and we greatly appreciate the kind invitation, but,” Yixing sent a brief sideways glance at his friend before looking back at Chanyeol, “why ask us? We don’t really know Dr. Do that well outside of Jongin’s appointments at the eye clinic.”

“But Jongin is friends with him, right?” Chanyeol shifted his gaze to the tall artist, who now wore an unfathomable expression. “Kyungsoo talks about you a lot, and you’ve been to his house and everything.”

“Well, yes,” Jongin slowly answered, “but—”

“Then it’s totally fine!” the guitarist exclaimed. “I can give you guys the name of the wine bar and you’ll get a discount on drinks as my guests.” Chanyeol then smiled ruefully as he continued in a calmer voice, “Kyungsoo never invites anyone to his shows, even though I always tell him to, so it’ll be nice for him to see some familiar faces in the audience other than the sea of strangers he used to.”

Despite his own intrigue being piqued at the prospect of seeing the ophthalmologist perform live, Jongin instead loftily commented, “I mean, there must be a reason why he doesn’t invite people. What if he gets upset when he sees us there?”

“I swear he won’t,” Chanyeol hastily answered, holding his arms out as if to stop the other two from walking away, even though neither of them had moved an inch. “Kyungsoo just isn’t very big on self-promotion unless it’s related to work. And even then, he always lets Junmyeon take the spotlight. So as his best friend,” the guitarist let his arms fall to his side as he puffed up his chest, “I try to promote his talents whenever I can.”

“Okay…” Jongin still didn’t quite understand Chanyeol’s motivation for inviting the two friends to Kyungsoo’s show, but decided that it ultimately wasn’t worth the effort to decipher the guitarist’s brain. “Uh, if you’re sure he won’t be bothered by us showing up, I guess we can come. It’s not like we have anything else planned that night,” he added with a slight shrug.

Yixing nodded in agreement. “Yeah, we’re free on Thursday. And I can ask Jongdae if he wants to come as well, if that’s okay,” he said, glancing at the guitarist for confirmation while pointedly avoiding Jongin’s scowl at the suggestion.

“That’s totally fine! The more, the merrier!” Chanyeol replied with a bright beam. “Who’s Jongdae?”

“My idiotic older brother,” Jongin answered with a derisive snort. Yixing sharply elbowed the artist in the side, causing him to let out a pained, “Oof!”

“They’re not the closest of siblings, so any chance like this for them to bond is always welcome,” the manager explained with a lopsided smile. “Jongdae is a really nice guy and I’m sure he’d enjoy listening to Dr. Do sing.”

“I guarantee it’ll be worth it!” Chanyeol said as he grabbed Yixing’s hands and enthusiastically shook them. “Kyungsoo has a really good set prepared this month and his voice is amazing. You won’t regret it, I promise.” The guitarist then grasped Jongin’s hands, much to the artist’s annoyance, especially since Chanyeol had such a vice-like grip.

Yixing lightly chuckled and replied, “I’m sure we won’t. Jongin and I haven’t listened to live music in a while, so this’ll be a fun night for all of us.”

The guitarist quickly scribbled the name of the wine bar on the back of a business card before handing it to Yixing. “The show starts at eight o’clock and it’ll last about half an hour. Kyungsoo doesn’t like to stay too late since he still has work the next day, but I’m sure he’ll hang around to chat with you guys for a bit before he goes home,” Chanyeol told them.

“Sounds good,” the Chinese male answered with a nod. “We’ll be there.”

“Awesome! I’ll see you guys this Thursday then!” Chanyeol beamed and waved as the two friends walked out of the Music Tree, the high-pitched bell ringing above them to signal their exit.

--

The Chat-Shire was an upscale establishment that chiefly catered to those from the upper and upper-middle class. As soon as the two friends walked in, they were warmly greeted by a host wearing a plum-colored vest over a starch white dress shirt and black slacks. “Right this way, gentlemen,” he smoothly said as he gestured with his white-gloved hands for Jongin and Yixing to follow him to an empty round table. “I presume you two are here to watch tonight’s show?”

Yixing nodded and smiled as the two friends sat down. “Do Kyungsoo is performing tonight, correct?”

“Correct. The show will begin in just a few minutes. May I start you off with some drinks first, gentlemen? Tonight’s special is a Cabernet Sauvignon imported from Napa Valley in California, and we also have a wide variety of other wines and alcoholic beverages if you would like something else.”

Before Jongin could answer, Yixing quickly replied, “Just water will do for now. Thank you.”

The host slightly bowed and left to retrieve their drinks. Meanwhile, Jongin frowned at his manager and hissed, “I can handle one measly glass of wine. Besides, Chanyeol said we’d be getting discounts.”

But the Chinese male shook his head and firmly answered, “Nope, I’m not letting you have a single drop. And you’ve never cared about saving money for little things like this before, so don’t even try to pretend that you care now as an excuse to drink. I’m not falling for it. Besides, water is a much healthier option.”

“I drink water all of the time at home,” Jongin griped as he petulantly crossed his arms over his chest. “What’s the point of coming to a wine bar if I’m not allowed to drink any of the wine?”

“We didn’t come here to drink,” Yixing reminded the artist, staunchly refusing to budge on the issue. “We came here to support your ophthalmologist and listen to some good music. And we’re going to do that completely sober.” The host soon returned with two tall glasses of water, garnished with thin slices of lemon and short springs of mint, and Yixing pointedly pushed one of the glasses towards Jongin once they were placed on the table.

The artist’s scowl deepened as he impatiently drummed his fingers atop the sleek mahogany table. Even though he knew his manager had good intentions for denying the alcohol, given Jongin’s history with drinking, it still didn’t prevent him from wishing that he could indulge—just this once as a treat to himself—in some high-quality wine. The only things that were keeping him rooted in his seat were Yixing’s sharp stare and the fact that it was five minutes to eight o’clock. Jongin had slightly more faith in the wine bar for starting its show on time, unlike the perpetual delays he had experienced at Bright Vision Eye Clinic, so the artist kept his eyes fixed on the empty elevated stage in the center of the room.

There was a massive grand piano on the left side, and two sets of a tall wooden stool and a silver microphone stand in the middle. Amethyst and lavender-colored fairy lights cast a cool ambience across the stage, contrasting against the warm amber and saffron lighting around the rest of the wine bar. Framed in bronze on the walls were several paintings of cats with jagged pink-colored fur and comically wide, creepy grins that showcased dozens of sharp, triangular teeth. Jongin eyed them with mild interest; he didn’t often create relatively cartoonish pieces like the ones of the Cheshire cats and while he personally didn’t care for the subject matter, he did appreciate the creative liberty taken to produce such abstract artwork. It was clear that the wine bar owner enjoyed this zany aesthetic and it certainly added some flair to an otherwise simple, modern, and clean space.

As Jongin observed a painting to the right of the stage that showcased a Cheshire cat blending in sinisterly with the backdrop of a bare tree, yellow eyes exceptionally bright and sharp teeth glinting like beacons, a tall figure suddenly pulled up a chair next to him and slung an arm across his shoulders. “Awesome, you guys made it!” Chanyeol happily greeted over the low groans that escaped the artist’s lips. “Kyungsoo is warming up back-stage right now with his duet partner. He’ll be on in just a moment.”

“He’s singing a duet?” Yixing asked curiously.

“Yeah, he always pairs up with the bar owner, who’s also a fantastic singer and guitarist. She was actually the one who convinced him to perform regularly after his first show. Kyungsoo was planning for it to be a one-and-done thing, but she really liked his voice and badgered him to stay until he finally caved,” Chanyeol explained with a grin. He then asked with a confused expression, “How come it’s just you two? Wasn’t another guy supposed to come too?”

“Of course Jongdae’s a no-show,” Jongin answered disdainfully. “He never follows through. How he became the personal secretary for a CEO, I’ll never know.”

Yixing unabashedly stepped on the artist’s left foot under the table, causing Jongin to yelp and jerk back in his seat, as he smiled at Chanyeol and replied, “Jongdae is working late tonight, so he was unable to join us. But he says he’d like to watch a future show once his schedule frees up.”

“No worries! Kyungsoo’s shows are always the third Thursday of every month while I play Tuesday nights every week.” Just then, the lights in the wine bar began to dim as a bright spotlight appeared on the stage. Chanyeol happily clapped as he loudly whispered, “The show’s about to start! Get ready, guys!”

While attempting to ignore the throbbing pain in his foot, Jongin looked up at the stage and watched as two figures made their way to the stools in the middle. It was Kyungsoo, dressed in a chestnut brown button-up shirt paired with beige linen pants and sienna brown monk strap shoes, and a beautiful young woman, dressed in a short violet halter strap dress paired with gold ankle strap heels and a violet ribbon choker around her neck. She also carried an acoustic guitar and settled it comfortably over her knee once she was sitting down.

“What’s her name?” Yixing asked in a barely audible whisper as she quickly checked the tuning of her guitar.

“Lee Jieun,” Chanyeol whispered back. “She’s a very popular indie artist and one of the best singers I know, aside from Kyungsoo.”

Once she finished tuning, Jieun brought the microphone closer to and cheerily greeted, “Good evening, everyone! Thank you so much for coming to the Chat-shire tonight! I am honored to be sharing the stage with my good friend, Do Kyungsoo, today and we hope you enjoy our performance!”

The audience lightly applauded when the duo slightly bowed in their seats before straightening back up and briefly glancing at each other. There was a wordless countdown with their eyes and then Jieun began strumming her guitar while singing. Kyungsoo soon joined her, his smooth voice fitting perfectly with the rhythm and blues tune.

The duo then transitioned to a much lighter melody with Jieun taking the reins this time as she sang, “So are you happy now? Finally happy now, are you?” while Kyungsoo provided low background vocals to complement her airy tone.

Although the rest of the lyrics were about staying young forever and relishing in the carefree memories of one’s youth—and Jongin had absolutely no desire to be young again, perfectly content with being in his early thirties—those first two lines struck a chord within him.

What did it mean to be happy?

Jongin knew he wasn’t happy now, but when would he finally know that he was happy?

Would he be happy again when his color vision returned? Would he be happy again when his muse came back?

The solution sounded so ridiculously simple. Yet here he was, ten months later, still struggling to reignite the spark that used to burn so brightly within him. Here he was, back at square one, drowning in the bottomless depths of the ocean that were untouched by sunlight.

If Jongin were truly being honest with himself, had he ever been happy in his life? Had he ever been fulfilled?

Even with such an illustrious career, dozens of prestigious awards, and more money than he knew what to do with, Jongin wasn’t sure why he was stuck at a crossroads. Why he was mired on a deserted island, surrounded by the salty sea in all directions. Why he was running non-stop through a never-ending nightmare completely void of color and light.

Maybe he should have been craving the untroubled days of his adolescence, when he had been standing on top of the world, still gazing upwards and seeing how he could build a ladder to climb even higher. When he had been floating on clouds, surrounded completely by light.

As he reflected on the meaning of happiness, the tune changed again to an upbeat Latin pop melody that had Jongin watching the duet partners with bated breath. He didn’t often listen to music, much less Latin music, so the saucier melody instantly grabbed his attention amidst his mini-existential crisis.

And then the artist’s mouth dropped to the floor when Kyungsoo began singing in Spanish instead of Korean. The ophthalmologist’s accent was flawless, as if he were a native speaker, and his rich voice coated the room like a shell of sweet chocolate. Jieun bobbed her head along as she continued to strum with vigor, adding extra flavor to the song as the accompanist.

Jongin was so taken aback by Kyungsoo’s proficiency in Spanish that the song seemed to pass by all too quickly before ending with a harmonic roll across the silver strings.

Jieun then began strumming a mellow, medium-tempo acoustic pop tune to cool the heat from the Latin pop song. Kyungsoo’s voice soon joined hers again as they began harmonizing to the words, “This Friday. How is this Friday?”

It was a rather simple love song with clean ad-libs that were very easy on the ears. The two duet partners looked as if they had gone back to their early twenties, singing about the pure innocence and excitement of being in love, as the fairy lights behind them blinked in patterns.

The song soon came to a close, finishing off with several strongly harmonized ad-libs from the duo. After slightly adjusting her guitar across her knee, Jieun gently knocked the heel of her hand on the body of her guitar to audibly produce the final song’s starting beat.

After the fifth beat, Kyungsoo smoothly began to sing, “My senses are numbing because of the thick emotions passing,” and Jongin soon found himself clenching his fists under the table. The song was filled with deep lyrics, of someone who was lost but was still trying to keep their head up and move forward, and Jongin unconsciously tensed up as he processed the somber words.

As Kyungsoo sang, the artist silently wondered if everything really would be okay. If everything really would be alright.

Jongin closed his eyes, trying to focus on the messages of hope mixed in with the uncertainty.

Just as the sun and moon rose and set every day and night, people laughed and cried. Hearts fluttered with hope and numbed with despair. Even though there was pain, time would eventually heal all.

Emotion poured through Kyungsoo’s calm voice, rolling like the tide with its gradual peaks and valleys. Jongin felt like he was sitting on a boat in the middle of the ocean, waves rippling underneath him in a peaceful rhythm. It didn’t matter that nothing else was around him except for the aquamarine water and azure sky. If he squinted hard enough in his mind’s eye, he could spy the faint shining stars of galaxies far, far away.

Like a warm blanket swathed around him, Jongin let the gentle current of Kyungsoo’s dulcet tones carry him through the night.

And as Kyungsoo’s silky voice trailed off, softly singing, “It’s alright. It’s alright,” Jongin slowly exhaled and found that his heartbeat had steadied inside his chest. It was no longer racing at a mile a minute, fighting to break out of the numbness that trapped the artist all too often. The rich sound of Kyungsoo’s singing had overpowered Jongin’s intrusive thoughts, washing over him with a wave of tranquility. It was as if he had just consumed a bar of dark chocolate, his serotonin levels gradually rising to break down the wall of anxiety within him.

The duet partners stood up and bowed as the audience clapped loudly for their spectacular performance. “Thank you again for coming to the Chat-shire tonight, everyone!” Jieun called as she straightened up and waved to the crowd. “We hope you enjoyed the show!” They then walked off of the stage and vanished through a door at the back of the room.

“Hold on, let me go get Kyungsoo and bring him here,” Chanyeol told the other two as he stood up from the table. “I’ll be right back!”

“Take your time!” Yixing called as he waved to the tall guitarist, who grinned back before disappearing. Turning to Jongin, the manager asked while wearing a small smile, “So what did you think?”

“It was really good,” the artist answered with a half-smile of his own. “The songs they chose were really meaningful.”

The Chinese male nodded in agreement as he took a sip of water. “Your ophthalmologist is really talented. I didn’t peg him to be such a good singer when I first saw him, but he’s clearly a man of many hats.”

“Yeah, I didn’t expect him to be this good either.”

There certainly was more to Do Kyungsoo past the white lab coat and owlish brown eyes.

Jongin wondered what else the ophthalmologist was capable of, what other hobbies and talents he was hiding away.

And then he wondered whether or not Kyungsoo was happy.

Whether or not Kyungsoo was okay.

If he were, how could the artist reach that same state?

“Hello, Jongin! And you must be his manager, Yixing,” Kyungsoo greeted as he and Chanyeol finally appeared, sitting in between the two friends at the table. “I believe we were introduced at my house last month, but again, my name is Do Kyungsoo and I am Jongin’s ophthalmologist at Bright Vision Eye Clinic.” He extended his right hand to the Chinese male, who grasped it and gave it a firm shake.

“Thank you for taking care of Jongin! I hope he hasn’t been giving you any trouble since then.”

At Yixing’s words, the artist stiffened and he purposely fixated his gaze on the water glass to his right as he recalled the night he had sought out Kyungsoo after having that disastrous fight with Jongdae. He hadn’t told Yixing who he had visited and Jongin had no desire for that information to come to light now, especially in front of Chanyeol.

Luckily, the ophthalmologist just chuckled and shook his head. “Jongin has been very patient as we try to find a solution with the available tools we have.”

Yixing beamed at the answer. “I’m glad to hear it!”

“Anyway, I heard that you two bumped into Chanyeol at the Music Tree, which is how he invited you to tonight’s show.” Kyungsoo then continued with a sheepish smile, “There really was no need to come out of your way to watch me sing though.”

“Aw, c’mon, Kyungsoo, you’re so talented! You deserve to have more people hear you perform!” Chanyeol insisted.

“He’s right. You were really good,” Jongin mumbled, not really wanting to support Chanyeol but also not wanting Kyungsoo to feel self-conscious about suddenly having an audience.

The ophthalmologist smiled widely at the small bit of praise and said, “Thank you, Jongin. I really appreciate hearing that. But all of the credit honestly goes to Jieun. If it weren’t for her, our shows would be very boring to watch. She’s the one who arranges our set lists. I just give a few notes here and there during our practice sessions.”

“Give yourself a little more credit, Kyungsoo! Jieun told me you were the one who chose tonight’s songs!” Chanyeol revealed, looking around the table with a proud grin.

“So it was your idea to sing in Spanish?” Jongin asked, referring to the third song of their set list. “Are you fluent?”

Kyungsoo lightly chuckled as he shook his head. “No, I just practiced the pronunciation of the lyrics until it sounded right. While I was practicing, Jieun helped me compare my pronunciation with the original recording and gave me notes on what I needed to improve.”

“Do you think you’ll ever learn Spanish?” Yixing inquired. “Being multilingual is a very useful skill. I wouldn’t have survived as Jongin’s manager for this long if I hadn’t become fluent in Korean and English. Jongin and I also picked up some French while we were living in Paris for a few years.”

Chanyeol’s eyes widened as he looked at the two friends in awe. “You guys lived in Paris? For how long?”

“Three years,” the Chinese male answered. “We were planning to stay longer, but things happened and we decided it was time to come home.”

The ophthalmologist subtly cast a knowing glance at Jongin, but stayed silent so as not to draw any unwanted attention to the artist.

Chanyeol, having never traveled outside of South Korea before, began asking dozens of questions about the French capital. Kyungsoo interjected every so often with a short question of his own, since he had also never been to Paris before and was just as curious about the European city as his tall best friend was. Yixing genially answered them all, and the conversation gradually shifted to the other countries that he and Jongin had briefly visited for international art competitions.

The artist stayed quiet for the most part, only speaking to supply any minor details or corrections that Yixing missed. Whenever they had touched down in new countries, Jongin had never really paid attention to the scenery or cared about the nearby tourist attractions. Travel was for work purposes only; he didn’t have time to waste on frivolous activities when he had esteemed art competitions to win and revolutionary masterpieces to create.

His manager had hated staying in, always begging Jongin if they could go out to sightsee together, and the artist’s answer had always been, “You can go by yourself. I need to finish this painting.”

As such, most of these stories were just as new to him as they were to Chanyeol and Kyungsoo.

After Yixing finished recounting their latest trip to Tokyo, which had been over a year ago, Kyungsoo suddenly checked the time on his gold-plated wristwatch before apologetically smiling at the rest of them. “It’s getting late, so I’m afraid I’ll have to excuse myself first,” he told them as he pushed his chair back and stood up from the table.

“I’ll come with you, Kyungsoo!” Chanyeol eagerly said as he followed suit.

“Alright, I’m going to say goodbye to Jieun first, so you can help me find her.” The ophthalmologist looked back at the other two and kindly added, “It was a pleasure to finally have a proper conversation with you, Yixing, and I’m glad to see that you’re doing well, Jongin.”

“Likewise,” the Chinese male answered with a beam while Jongin silently nodded.

“Have a good rest of the night! And I’ll see you at the eye clinic next week for your appointment, Jongin!” With that, Kyungsoo and Chanyeol waved and walked away to find the pretty bar owner.

“Shall we head out now too?” Yixing asked as he started to get up from this seat.

“Yeah, let’s go.”

As the two friends exited the wine bar, Jongin continued to replay the last few lines of Kyungsoo’s last song in his head.

Despite all of the unspoken worries and all of the deeply paved scars that haunted him, time always passed at the same speed. They would all eventually wash away as they always did.

So as long as he continued with the flow, it would be alright.

It would be okay.

♈♈♈

A/N: HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALISON!! <3 I’m so sad that we can’t properly celebrate in person because of the current pandemic, but I still hope you were able to have an AMAZING day today with your loved ones because you deserve it to the moon and back. ^^ I can’t believe it’s been over a year since we last saw each other in person and I am forever lamenting that our MUCH ANTICIPATED REUNION never happened. OTL I miss watching and reacting to K-Pop MVs with you at my house, I miss gorging on K-BBQ with you, I miss running on the track and exercising with you, and just so so so much more. On the plus side, KYUNGSOO IS ALMOST DONE WITH ENLISTMENT. YOUR MAN IS COMING HOME SOON. I wish we could’ve gone to see his military musical together, because I know you would’ve loved it. Even though the pandemic is keeping us physically apart for now, WE ARE ALWAYS TOGETHER IN SPIRIT!! NO DISEASE WILL EVER KEEP US APART FOR LONG. You're gonna be the first person I see when this is all over!! So stay safe, stay healthy, and stay wonderful!! WE WILL SEE EACH OTHER SOON!!