Chanyeol regrets his decision of going to the party. Although it's great because there are a lot of people and music's being blasted throughout Yixing's house, it's also horrible for the same reason. His skull aches the moment he and Kris meet up in front of the house, and he's about to just turn around and leave all together because he wasn't looking for this when he accepted the invitation.

"I might be overdressed." Kris states hesitantly, and Chanyeol would have missed it due to the loud music if it weren't for the fact that Kris had spoken right into his ear.

He just stares back at Kris in bewilderment because what other kind of party would it be? It's then that he looks Kris over and notes in surprise that Kris is in dress pants and a button down. It causes for him to burst out laughing, and though he knows it's rude to be laughing at Kris's blunder, he just grabs one of Kris's hands and pulls him towards the music.

"You're perfect the way you are." Chanyeol reassures him, and Kris is silent as he's led into the house.

If the outside of the house was hard for Chanyeol to stand, then the inside was a lot worse. Especially because the people inside were also shouting and screaming and normally, Chanyeol would join them because what's a party without people having fun? But this time, Chanyeol just stands in the corner feeling lost.

"You're the one who wanted to come and yet you look like you're ready to leave." Kris says in amusement, and Chanyeol looks up at him but Kris is leaning back against the wall with his eyes closed and Chanyeol wonders again why Kris had agreed to go in the first place.

"Yifan!" Someone calls excitedly, and Chanyeol is wincing until he sees it's Zitao who called the name and though Chanyeol turns to guess who 'Yifan' could be, Kris next to him starts to grin just slightly.

"We should probably let go before he starts questioning."

Chanyeol raises his eyebrows because what was the guy talking about? When his gaze floats down to their hands, however, Chanyeol clears his throat and easily slips his hand away from Kris's. He assumes that Zitao is going to just pass them by in his search for 'Yifan' or whoever that is, but Zitao is before them in just moments with that grin and a twinkle in his eye.

"Yifan! I didn't know you liked parties!"

Then he starts talking in their shared language of Mandarin, because Zitao once explained that his native tongue was Mandarin, and Chanyeol just feels like an outsider as he stands there. Although Kris seems a little comfortable around him, or comfortable enough to smile, it's another story with Zitao all together. He laughs and it sounds like he's joking around with Zitao, and Chanyeol feels a little jealous as he stands there because that's the kind of friendship he wishes to have again with anyone.

Speaking of friends. His eyes dart from corner to corner looking for his own and because they don't notice his existence any longer, Chanyeol slips away. He does find his friends; Baekhyun and Jongdae are stumbling up the stairs to one of Yixing's spare rooms, Joonmyeon and Minseok are both in the kitchen opening more bags of chips because the ones up front are done, Yixing and Jongin are on the dancefloor because the two of them dancing together is like watching the universe collide with how beautiful they are, and Sehun is drinking. Chanyeol approaches the younger male with the intention to scold him for drinking and Sehun doesn't even bat an eyelash as he holds his cup out.

"Take a sip. It looks like you need it." Sehun offers, and Chanyeol wants to refuse for a moment because his alcohol tolerance isn't as high as Sehun's, but the young male is right that he needs to unwind.

"...Fine." And so he takes Sehun's cup and swallows down a gulp of the liquid that makes him cringe, but Sehun's watching and expecting for him to finish it. So he does, swallowing down every drop and shaking his head afterward because woah that stuff is strong.

"There's more behind you if you need it. Enjoy the party." Sehun claps his shoulder as he passes and then he joins Yixing and Jongin on the dancefloor like the competitive boy he is.

Chanyeol follows Sehun with his gaze for a moment and then his eyes trail over to where Zitao and Kris were but the two of them are gone and Chanyeol's shoulders deflate because does that mean Kris also left him alone? Chanyeol just wants to go home now, he realizes, and he grabs a full bottle of beer on his way out. He thinks it's a little pathetic that he's staggering after a cup of whatever alcohol they gave him, but he likes the fact that the liquid has the world making less sense.

"Okay I need to go home." He mumbles to himself the second he's out on the lawn, but he doesn't really remember which direction his house is in and he doesn't know if it's because of his cancer or because of the alcohol. With a grunt, he just brings the beer bottle to his lips and takes a sip. It burns on its way down his throat but Chanyeol ignores it because he really needed it and at least he can spend a few minutes without thinking.

So he starts off in a random direction, because maybe that's the way to his house and he'll end up there somehow if he walks long enough. He can't read the streetsigns, either, just hopes that the blocks that seem to go on forever have an ending point. And then, he's sitting cross-legged on the sidewalk, crying. He doesn't exactly know why it happened. All he knows is that while thinking of where the sidewalk ends, he remembers his own end is coming up and then his knees fail him because why does all of this happen to him?

He chugs down half of the bottle of beer as he sits there crying, and though he wants to keep drinking, his sobs are getting louder and it makes him drop his head into his hands, one hand tangled in his curly hair because he's trying to hold onto reality now.

"Chanyeol!" Someone shouts from behind him, but Chanyeol can't and doesn't move. He just continues to cry, his shaking hand bringing the bottle to his lips because maybe if he drinks some more whoever is looking for him will go away.

And then the bottle is yanked out of his grip and he tries to watch it roll away but someone's blocking his view of it. When his eyes slowly drag upward to Kris's face, he gasps. Not only is Kris there with him, Kris is angry and Chanyeol is feeling guilt seep into his stomach because he never meant to make Kris worry.

"Sorry, I-" He cuts himself off with a sob and he brings his hands up to cover his face because he can just feel how ugly he must look and it's embarrassing.

"What are you thinking?" Kris asks after a moment, and Chanyeol peeks through his fingers to see that the anger on Kris's face disappear and shift into something gentle.

"Why... why didn't my friends believe me when I said I'm dying? My parents, why do they have to work so much to keep me alive? Why can't they just let me die? That would be so much cheaper and then they would be home! Why is it them who has to be dealing with this now? Do you know how much I hate this? I just met you and in a few months I'll lose you, Kris. I don't want to lose you. Why do I have to lose you? You're so sweet and funny and you make me happy again. Why do I have to lose the one friend that believes me now?"

Kris doesn't say anything to him, and he leans away from Chanyeol like Chanyeol's speaking in another language. Chanyeol just sobs harder because why does Kris have to make him feel worse about wanting to get closer? But then the most surprising thing happens. Kris reaches forward and pulls Chanyeol into his chest, and Chanyeol's sobs are muffled by Kris's expensive shirt. Chanyeol's arms reach for Kris's waist to push him off, but because Kris's arms are wrapped tightly around his shoulders, Chanyeol ends up weakly wrapping his own arms around Kris's waist.

"I don't want to leave you alone again."

And then Kris freezes and Chanyeol can feel him take a sharp breath in surprise. Chanyeol worries that maybe he's gone too far but Kris squeezes his shoulders and there's a tear falling onto Chanyeol's neck that he knows isn't his own. He stills the moment he feels it and his tears dry in an instant, but before he can reach up to wipe those tears away, Kris pulls back and cups Chanyeol's face in both hands.

"Stop thinking about everyone else, Chanyeol." Kris says softly, and his thumbs are wiping away the tears on Chanyeol's cheeks and Chanyeol can't help but think that Kris is just really beautiful under the moonlight.

"Can I just think about you?" Chanyeol blurts out, and though he's embarrassed at what he says, it's too late to take it back. There's something about the pain in Kris's eyes that have his gaze focused there and he wishes more than anything that he could just take the pain away.

Again, there's no answer that comes from Kris's eyes, but Chanyeol doesn't know what to take of his silence. It could mean anything since it was coming from Kris, after all. As if he could read Chanyeol's mind, Kris grins that slight grin of his and stands up with a ruffle of Chanyeol's hair, but when he pulls his hand back, it remains in the air and Chanyeol realizes it's Kris's offer to help him off the ground. Chanyeol takes it gratefully, and the two of them walk to Chanyeol's house. Chanyeol ends up having been wrong about which direction his house was in after all, and he's stumbling to keep up, but Kris doesn't say anything about his drunken state and he doesn't seem to mind that Chanyeol can't proccess anything on his own.

When they get to his house, Chanyeol sees the lights in Zitao's house on and he's a little bitter as he thinks that maybe Kris is going to spend another while talking and laughing with Zitao while Chanyeol just falls asleep and dreams of cancer when he realizes something. Isn't it best that Kris is attached to someone like Zitao, considering Chanyeol doesn't even have much time left? Chanyeol glances over at Kris, then, and he takes in the wet shirt on his chest and the slightly red eyes. The grin has been wiped off his face but his expression is still a soft one.

Chanyeol tries to say something, to thank Yifan or to wish him a good night, but he's scared he'll just start crying again.