Youngjae sat up in bed. Hunched over and with the hood of his oversized sweater drawn over his eyes, he looked over his current song selection. When the song's album art and title began to blur into little more than a swath of dark green clouded with specks of white, he pulled the phone away. The darkness around him swarmed at the edges of the brightly lit screen, eager to swallow what remained of the light. 

Youngjae thought he would be unaffected by the change in lighting but when the screen cut off completely, a thread of dread coiled around his heart and squeezed until it felt like the heaviness would stop his beating heart. He was taken aback. The darkness never took effect on him. He had come to seek solace within its borders. Yet this time was different. His heart yearned for the type of warmth the darkness could never offer. The type of warmth he had ceased to recall. One that would help guide and console him through his faults well into the night.

He flopped back into bed and drew his legs up to his chest until he was certain his knees could keep his weary heart from falling out of his chest. He wrapped his arms around his body and forced his eyes closed, willing away the tumultous cycling of thoughts in his head. They all traced back to the hurt he saw in Yezi as she turned to leave. 

Youngjae and Yezi had arguments. Either one would apologize with a gesture or snarky remark. She would leave smiling. The words "Sorry" never not be uttered. This was how their relationship had grown. He loved her so. But today's argument was something so much more.

He sighed and pulled out his headphones. The tender string of  piano notes flowed through the earbuds and poured into the room under their best attempt to dispel the heavy gloom that hung around. Youngjae tossed his phone on the bed before ambling towards the door. 

At the top of the stairs, Youngjae peered over the edge in search of Jaebum's silhouette. When he didn't spot it, he crept down the stairs on the tips of his feet. He came to a stop at the bottom and looked to the left. Seeing nothing, he stepped over to the right and his heart seized in his throat. The bathroom door was closed but the light was not on. 

Youngjae walked over to the door. His hand was already reaching for a spot on the wood, one knuckle bent forward, when the realization that Jaebum probably didn't want to see or hear from him stopped him short of knocking.

What am I even doing here? He stepped back. To keep his mind from digging deeper into the way today's events unfurled, he dwadled over to the living room's lamplights. He flicked the switch on and was immediately greeted by a familiar golden glow. It lasted three seconds before reappearing with a new color: purple. None of the seven colors battled each other for dominance as they cycled through their 3-second bursts of life before fading out and making room for the next color in queue. There was no need to. They  worked in harmony with their display of soft edges. 

Youngjae smiled. For all the desperation and trouble it had caused him in his search to find one exactly like the one he owned as a child, he was overjoyed to have it now. There was nothing that could replace the alleviation he felt when he saw it in that pawn shop so many years ago.

Youngjae sat down on the couch's armrest. He shut his eyes and watched as the colors danced over the back of his eyelids. It calmed him because a few color changes later, his body tilted backwards. He came to in time to catch himself before he could crash into the cushions. Fatigue had finally curled in over his nerves. 

Youngjae shoved his hands into his pockets and rocked forward. He held his bent-over position for a second before pushing off and heading back towards the stairs. The faint click of the bathroom door opening made Youngjae's ears perk up. He paused but seeing as to how he wanted to be out of sight before Jaebum appeared, continued on. He had a foot planted on the second step when Jaebum's voice cut deep through the silence. 

"Youngjae."

Youngjae immediately knew something was wrong. Where Jaebum's voice was normally overflowing with exuberance, now his litter of letters flitted by on a hoarse whisper.

Youngjae flicked his head to the side. His heart seized at the sight before him. The play of shadows across Jaebum's face did little to conceal the pale, sickly color of his skin.

"I know you don't want to be bothered right now but there's something I'm worried about." Jaebum's smile had been wiped clean with whatever internal terror he was facing. His head hung low to the ground and his eyes crinkled at the edges with the pressure of trying to keep his pain from overtaking him. "I haven't been feeling well."

He wobbled towards Youngjae who  remained rooted in place. 

"Please."

Youngjae turned around and pushed his hood back. "What's wrong?" 

"Can I show you? Describing it makes me queasy."

Youngjae nodded. He feared Jaebum would collapse any minute so he followed close behind in case he needed to catch him. They made it to the bathroom. Jaebum turned around. "Sorry. It's really disgusting but I don't know what to do. I'm sorry I can't remember the word for it. I know it would make things easier for you."

Youngjae shook his head. Or, at least, he thought he did but the next second Jaebum flinched and turned back around without another word.

Jaebum pushed the door wide open and flicked the light on. Youngjae's eyes darted frantically about the room. When he didn't see or smell blood, he thanked the world. Whatever was wrong with Jaebum could probably be fixed by administering medicine at home.

Jaebum walked over to the toilet and pointed. He fiddled with the fabric of his sleeves as he waited to hear Youngjae's response.

Youngjae stepped up and peered over the rim of the toilet seat. True enough to his assumptions, a pile of bile coated the bottom half of the toilet bowl. The stench was awful but Youngjae refused to cover his nose. "Everything's going to be okay. We can fix this." 

Youngjae turned around. He had just enough time to catch sight of Jaebum swaying to the side before he was underneath him, shoving all of his weight against Jaebum to counterattack him tipping forward. Youngjae s a hand over to Jaebum's arm and tried to push in between his armpit. When that didn't work, he then tried to hook his arm around Jaebum's waist but that position wouldn't hold either of them up long enough to head over to the couch. 

With only one arm holding Jaebum's body upright, his weight eventually became too much of a strain on Youngjae's body. They toppled over into the ground. Amidst the sound of their beating hearts, a groan from Youngjae emerged.

"I'm sorry," Jaebum whispered. "I'm  so stupid."

Youngjae's fingertips hovered above the back of Jaebum's head. The thought of running his fingertips through that mess of purple hair crossed his mind but he stomped it out before he could act on it. "You're not stupid. Quit saying things like that or I won't help you." A blatant lie.

"Alright. You're going to have to help me here. Can you stand?"

After three failed attempts at standing, Youngjae told Jaebum to sit up. He did just that and pressed his back into the counter near the door. With the trickle of energy he could muster, Jaebum slid up along the surface until he was on his feet again. He was in an upright position for a heartbeat before he slumped over into Youngjae's open arms. "So warm," he mumbled into the crook of Youngjae's neck.

Despite wearing a thick sweater, Jaebum's breath was hot against his skin. A shiver ran up his spine, prickling the hairs on the back of his neck. 

"Now picture it like so. To get to the couch, you'll need to take 1, 2 steps. Let's do them together." 

"Mm," Jaebum mumbled in affirmation. Youngjae stepped through the threshold with one hand wrapped around Jaebum's waist, the other clutching his hand so it wouldn't slip off