chanbaek / divorce !au / 3.1k

Baekhyun will give what Chanyeol wants, even if in the process his heart gets broken into a million pieces.

Baekhyun never wanted to do this. He wanted to try; try even harder. But Chanyeol has left him no choice.

He will leave his set of keys to the house, Chanyeol's house, as well. He quietly places the manila envelope on the table and turns around to leave.

But as if fate was never on his side. He bumps into the armchair and it makes a screeching sound in the dead silence of the house.

Closing his eyes for the impending conversation, baekhyun stops and stays rooted at his position.

Soon enough, as predicted, heavy footsteps make way towards from him.

The way he is dragging his feet, Baekhyun is sure Chanyeol is still half asleep. He does not want to give in, but the picture in his mind makes him smile.

Catching himself on time, baekhyun schools his expressions into one of nonchalance and turns around to only get punched in the guts. His heart is beating so fast like it will explode out of his chest. No matter how much he commands his head to not react, his heart works on its own.

He will never stop loving Chanyeol. But he can never stay with him also. Not when the other himself said so.

Chanyeol looks surprised to see him here. And baekhyun thinks he might even be angry. Maybe he was with her. Maybe she is upstairs; in THEIR room; Sleeping on THEIR bed.

Baekhyun stops himself before he makes a mess of him.

"What are you doing here?" Chanyeol might have said it casually but all baekhyun hears is -
"What are YOU doing here? Why are you here? What do you want?" It does not help his dying hope and broken heart anymore. He wouldn't cry though. He wouldn't give Chanyeol the satisfaction to see him cry. If their relationship didn't matter to Chanyeol, baekhyun will not let it matter to him as well.

Baekhyun grabs the envelope and marches towards his husband, with head held high and jaw locked onto place. He all but throws the paper at chanyeol's chest and the satisfaction it gives him almost makes him relax. Almost.

Chanyeol looks bewildered. He was shocked to see baekhyun here but is completely stunned by what his husband just did.

Good. Baekhyun thinks.

Chanyeol seems like he wants to say something. For a second baekhyun thought he saw a glint of happiness but why would Chanyeol be happy!! Baekhyun denies the possibility that it’s after seeing him here.

Baekhyun waits with bated breath as Chanyeol finally studies the papers. There are a plethora of emotions that baekhyun see playing through other's face. For a second, baekhyun sees raw pain on chanyeol's face. Chanyeol wouldn't raise his head and it annoys baekhyun. He wants to see what chanyeol is thinking. If he is hurt then is it possible that –

Baekhyun stops himself before he can dwell deeper. He wouldn't do this to himself. He would not give himself false hope. He saw everything with his own eyes. Heard each and every word with own ears. Even if those cutting words were not directed at him he got the message, loud and clear. It had taken him a week to get his bearings and when he did, there was only one way he could see. He will give Chanyeol what he wants. He will not die every second of the day, loving a man who doesn’t love him back. He will move on.

Chanyeol finally lifts his gaze and bores into baekhyun's teary ones. He looks tired. Yeah, carrying on a dead relationship must have burdened him. Baekhyun will free him from the shackles. He has a lot of things to say to Chanyeol though. He wants to march up to him and beat him till he bleeds. Like baekhyun is. The gash left on his heart, his soul runs so deep that it bleeds from everywhere.

Baekhyun wants to ask so many 'whys' but he is also scared to get any answers in return. What if Chanyeol tells him that he never loved him? Baekhyun would not be able to live then. He will live rest of his life thinking Chanyeol, once in his life, was in love with him truly.

Before he can say something he will regret later on. Something like - "I still love you Chanyeol. Please come back to me." He turns around to leave, muttering a quiet "send the papers after signing".

Baekhyun does not want to wait even for a second. He looks around, maybe one last time, at the house he made into a home with Chanyeol by his side.

Every corner is filled with a memory. Every memory is like a wound now.

"Wait", Chanyeol's deep voice stops baekhyun in his tracks. And his heart stops along with him.

A shiver runs down his spine. A warmth thaw in his cold inside. It had just started to bloom when he hears chanyeol's next words.

"I will sign it right now."

***

Baekhyun does not know how he got here but he finds himself knocking the door desperately, even if there is a perfectly able doorbell right next to him.

He moved in with his parents a week ago. Baekhyun clearly remembers the perplexed expression his mother gave him when he turned up at her door 2 in the morning.

She didn’t voice out any question but her stares were loud enough for baekhyun to know she wanted to know why her son was here in the middle of the night without announcing before. But she never asked anything. Gave him a glass water instead and asked if he had eaten and when baekhyun had refused to eat anything she had just nodded and taken him to his old room and gave him night clothes from his own wardrobe.

She had just patted his hair, gave a kiss on his head as baekhyun hid his face in her tummy to keep himself from sobbing. She had patted him lovingly saying nothing and just consoling him silently and baekhyun was glad that his parents were this supportive. They still were. Even if they hardly knew what went down. They only had this vague idea of their son fighting with his husband but after a few days they had realized it was not something simple and it had shown in their worried glances and wrinkled sad smiles.

Baekhyun once more is faced with his mother’s perplexed expression. But this time it might be due to his swollen red eyes and the tears that were still leaking down his face. He can feel the wetness but the sensation is so foreign to him it's almost like he is outside his own body.

His mother still does not question him. Nor does the paper in his hands. She immediately looks up at him and suddenly baekhyun can’t breathe with all the sadness that came crashing over him; his mother’s adding to his already suffocating one.

He steps into his room and locks it behind himself. And then just stand there. His back pressed to the door and the piece of paper clutched tight in his left hand.

He wants to tear it down or burn it away but all he does is throw it away and still it only manages to land a few feet away from him as if mocking him. Baekhyun finally gives in to the pain, to the anger, to the betrayal; to every emotion he had bottled up since that day he left his own house. He sinks down to the floor and bangs his head hard to the door behind him while beating his chest with his fists because he is unable to breathe. He can hear the sobs, not his own coming from beyond his door and he lets himself breaks down at last.

Everything crumbling down around him. His life, his marriage, his whole being.

What’s the point of living together when there is no reason anymore to? A relationship is as good as dead if there is no trust in it. Without love, you might still make it work but with no trust there is nothing left.

Baekhyun, somewhere deep in his heart, might still be in love with Chanyeol but he has decided to not make himself miserable. He will never stop loving Chanyeol but he will start loving himself more. He will keep himself above others from now on.

As Baekhyun waits outside lawyer’s office his will to do and survive this gets stronger and stronger. Chanyeol is running late, as usual. But baekhyun had thought he would be here early, assuming the other wanted to get rid of him