Warning: some bullying (within a dream but it counts)

  

 

During an extremely cold day in Spring, a five year old Sehun lost his mother and wandered around the park, both panicked and curious. The kids were leaving with their families, but, being too young, Sehun didn't understand why.

 

His small hands grabbed the bars of a ladder, climbing up all the way up to the top. Sehun’s head finally poked up and he saw a boy, probably around his age, staring at him with large, terrified eyes.

 

“What are you doing here?” Asked Sehun, grunting as he pushed himself up onto the platform. “Aren't you going down the slide?”

 

The boy shook his head, muttering something that Sehun thought was absolute gibberish.

 

“Say it louder, I can't hear,” Sehun said, tapping his ear and leaning in close.

 

Again the boy responded with the same phrase, just a little louder.

 

Sehun frowned. “You should try to speak normal words. That way, I will be able to talk to you.” He moved so he could find a comfortable position in front of the boy. He looked up, noticing that the clouds were grey and beginning to sprinkle a bit.

 

“My name is Sehun,” he finally introduced, taking his attention away from the sky. “You are?”

 

The boy furrowed his eyebrows, unable to understand what Sehun was blabbering. Sehun just sighed, not understanding why he wasn't replying.

 

“Luhan?!” A male voice cried from the ground. “Luhan?!”

 

“Sehun!!” A female voice called, too, instantly making Sehun smile.

 

“That's my mom,” Sehun told. “Are you Luhan?” And the boy hesitantly nodded.

 

Sehun grabbed the boy’s small hands and brought him to the slide. He went down before the other and waited for the kid to come, too.

 

“Look mom! I made a new friend!” Sehun exclaimed, pointing to Luhan. “He doesn't talk much.”

 

At that, Luhan’s father laughed. “He doesn't talk because he doesn't speak Korean. He is fluent in Chinese, that's where me and my husband come from.”

 

“Husband? That's only what girls use when they are married,” Sehun thoughtlessly muttered, making his mother gasp and flush in embarrassment.

 

“Excuse that, Sehun’s only five, he doesn't know,” the mother quickly apologized.

 

The man chuckled and waved slightly. “It's alright. He is the same age as Luhan. Oh! My name is Joonmyun, by the way.”

 

“Yoona,” she quickly held out her hand.

 

“We should get under cover before it begins to rain too hard,” he said, smiling. The mother nodded and she, along with the two children, run until they were at the covered benches.

 

“So you are Korean?” The mother asked, pulling her long hair into a ponytail.

 

“Yes,” Joonmyun nodded. “I went to China when I was younger, then I met my husband, Yifan. His parents didn't really have a liking to us, because of our uality, so we moved here to live with my parents for a couple months until we find a house.”

 

“Does your husband speak Korean?”

 

“He does, but Luhan doesn't yet. He's a fast learner,” He patted his son’s back then rubbed it lightly, saying something in Chinese, making the boy smile widely and nod.

 

“What did you say?” Sehun asked curiously.

 

“I asked him if he wanted to talk to you and be your friend. He is shy so I wanted to make sure he was okay with it.”

 

“Japanese sounds cool, I want to learn it,” Sehun beamed.

 

“It's Chinese,” Joonmyun corrected lightly then glanced at the mother. “If your mom is okay with it, you could come over and Yifan will teach you.”

 

The mother just stared for a second until nodding. “Oh yeah, of course Sehun can come over, if it's alright with you. Can I ask what your number is?”

 

Joonmyun nodded and gave Yoona his number. Sehun smiled and high fived Luhan.

 

“I made a mistake walking here instead of driving,” Yoona sighed, pulling her fingers through Sehun’s dark brown hair.

 

“Same with me. Yifan gets off work in an hour, he can drive us home if it doesn't clear up by then,” Joonmyun suggested. Yoona smiled and nodded, making Sehun giggle lightly since it meant he could stay with his new friend for a while longer.

 

The rain didn't stop, so for the next hour, the four sat at a bench, the parents talking and the kids playing. Occasionally, Joonmyun translated when Luhan or Sehun had to say to something to the other, but other than that, it was calm.

 

When Sehun had to say goodbye, he handed him the flower he picked, the petals still coated with beads of water from the rainfall.

 

~*~

 

“You're so stupid!” Luhan cried, throwing his now broken toy train at his friend. “I hate you!”

 

Sehun covered his face, protecting himself from the plastic toy that still hit his head. Sehun dropped his arms and instantly, tears began to pour out of the seven year old’s eyes.

 

“JOONMYUN!” Sehun’s high pitch voice screamed. Seconds later, said man ran into the room, kneeling down next to both of the boys, not knowing who to comfort.

 

“What happened?” He asked in a soft, calming voice.

 

“L-Luhan threw his t-toy at me and it hurts really b-bad!” Sehun sobbed, pulling his knees to his chest.

 

“Daddy! He broke my train I got from papa!” Luhan said in Chinese, pointing over to the boy in front of him.

 

“Korean, Luhan, I know that you're good at it,” Joonmyun said. “Sehun, why did you break his train?”

 

“I didn't mean it! Don't get after me, please!” Sehun said, wiping his tears that continued to pour out. “I dropped it and it- it broke.”

 

“So that gave you the right to throw it at him?” Joonmyun turned to Luhan with a shocked expression. “Apologize right now!”

 

Luhan let out a loud sob at his father’s angry tone. “Don't yell! I'm sorry, Sehun. I shouldn't have thrown the train.”

 

“Good boy,” the father sighed. He crossed his legs, bringing both boys into his thigh. “You're both seven, so I better not see you guys fighting over trains anymore. Alright?”

 

“Alright,” both of them said, heads hanging low.

 

“Okay, good. You're big boys now,” Joonmyun kissed the temple of both of the boys and smiled warmly. “Keep playing, I'll go downstairs and make snacks.”

 

With that, the boy’s cheered loudly, getting off the man’s lap and back to the toys on the ground.

 

“Thank you, Joonmyun!” Sehun smiled, holding a toy car in his small hands.

 

“No problem, Sehun,” Joonmyun smiled again.

 

Only after the adult left the room, did Luhan finally speak up. “Does your head hurt?”

 

“Yeah, a bit,” Sehun said, rolling the car and pretending that it was speeding off.

 

“When I get a boo-boo, papa kisses it, saying it heals faster,” Luhan said.

 

“Are you saying you're going to kiss it?”

 

“No!”

 

And Sehun pouted.

 

~*~

 

Of all moments, you chose now to think of the old times, Sehun thinks to himself. He taps his pencil on his desk, biting his lip in thought.

 

What the is pi?! He screams, mentally beating himself up. I'm a freshman, shouldn't I know what this is?! As if he suddenly comes up with a brilliant plan, he grins, peeking from the corner of his eye at his friends paper. Lu’s smart… He should know.

 

Only being able to write down a couple answers, Luhan turns and glares at him. “Do your own work!”

 

“I can't do it!” Sehun whispers frustratedly.

 

“No talking!” The teacher growls without taking his eyes off his computer. Luhan and Sehun look at each other worriedly, deciding it's best to be silent.

 

Glancing at the time, Sehun frowns as he sees that there is only ten minutes left to do the test, and he only answered eight out of thirty-five questions.

 

Everything on his paper looks foreign, some alien language that his stupid, useless brain can't understand. Angrily, he presses his pencil down too hard, breaking it. Sehun sighs, more irritated and upset than ever.

 

Honestly, he's surprised. Surprised he made it this far in his test, this far in his day, this far in school, this far in his life. It wouldn't even be hard to believe if he was held back in living because he isn't able to function on his own.

 

Before he can waste any more time, he raises his hand, waving it impatiently when the teacher doesn't notice him.

 

Sehun clears his throat. “Mr.Kwon–”

 

“No talking!” The teacher interrupts.

 

“I broke my pencil, can I sharpen it?”

 

“No sharpening or moving around during a test!”

 

“But–”

 

“No ‘but’s!”

 

“What the ?” Sehun mumbles, shrinking in his seat.

 

“No cursing!”

 

Sehun slams his hand on his desk, tears in his eyes from all stress, embarrassment, and frustration. He flinched, shocking himself at his sudden outburst, but continues on. “What can I do?! I don't know the answers, I'm trying, I have less than five minutes to answer twenty-seven more questions, I am trying! I had a ty day, dealing with test after test because it is close to the end of the year, social stress as well, mental stress, at least let me sharpen my damn pencil!” Then the tears begin to spill out.

 

Luhan looks at him in shock, eyes turning to the teacher who looks torn between being furious or sympathetic.

 

“Mr.Kwon, if you do not mind, I would like to take my friend outside. I have finished my test, and he will finish after school, while you can talk about a punishment,” Luhan quickly turns in the small packet, grabbing his friend’s wrist before dragging him outside.

 

“Oh Sehun, you are so lucky the teacher didn't flip out on you right then and there,” Luhan sighed, lowering his friend onto the ground. Sehun brought his long legs up to his chest, letting out choked sobs as he tried to calm himself.

 

Sehun hated this, how his heart began to freak out when he was alone with Luhan. It has been happening for a couple months ever since he and Luhan celebrated Valentine’s Day together, giving each other gifts and even going out to watch a movie as joke since they had no one to spend it with. Maybe it was because he was always happy and excited when hanging out with his friend. Yeah, just happy...

 

“Get yourself together,” Luhan says, but there is a soft, caring tone to it. Hesitantly, he reaches out and wipes the tears from Sehun’s eyes, not noticing how Sehun’s breath hitches at the sudden contact.

 

“Look at you being a baby. You always have been, though,” Luhan teased, but his face shows nothing but concern for his friend.

 

Sehun’s breath eventually evens out, and his tears come to a stop, but his heart is still freaking out.

 

Just before period ends, Luhan brings the end of his shirt up, dabbing Sehun’s wet cheeks. Sehun sees the soft, pale skin of his friend’s tummy and Sehun can only think of one sentence.

 

Oh my dear lord, save me.

 

~*~

 

This isn't right, Sehun tells himself. This really is terribly, disgustingly wrong.

 

Though he tells himself how bad his actions are, he still finds himself staring at his best friend’s smooth, white, bare chest as he plays in the pool. It’s truly a beautiful sight; Luhan splashing in the water, hair clumping together and a shade darker from water, eyes scrunching up into little crescents as he smiles brightly. The droplets of water catch the summer’s bright sunshine and sparkle around him.

 

“He's so beautiful…” Sehun whispers to himself, blushing slightly as he prepares to jump into the pool.

 

“He’s so… What?” The voice of Yifan asks, causing Sehun to almost fall from shock.

 

“N-Nothing!” Sehun blushes even more. Over the month and a half, Sehun had accepted his crush (that he probably had longer than he thought) on Luhan, but he didn't expect himself to be given away this easily!

 

Yifan smiles dumbly, “Oh, okay.” Sehun rolls his eyes at how oblivious Yifan was to everything. Suddenly, the older reached out and pushed Sehun off balance, but before he fell in the water, Sehun grabs Yifan’s shirt, bringing him with him.

 

Sehun emerges from the water first, laughing as he remember how shocked Luhan’s father looked. He heard Luhan’s giggles as well and stopped his actions. Taking in the sweet sound of his friend’s laughter. It sounded so amazing, like music to–

 

And he was dragged underwater again by Yifan.

 

~*~

 

Slamming his palm against the side of his head, Sehun tries to clear his ears of liquid.

 

“Why are you so mean to me, Yifan?”

 

“Why are you so mean to me?!” Yifan shoots back childishly.

 

“Because you're an adult yet you act like a kid!”

 

“Well I'm an adult and you're supposed to be treating me with respect!”

 

Sehun glares at Yifan while the adult sticks out his tongue.

 

“Alright kids,” Luhan breaks the silent argument and sits down at the table. “Let's settle down.”

 

“Aww, look at you sounding like me,” Joonmyun coos.

 

“When did it get so dark outside?” Sehun suddenly observes, and by the expression on everyone's face, everyone seems slightly surprised.

 

Joonmyun looks at his watch and smiles. “It's ten forty-five, and I said I wanted you guys in bed by eleven.”

 

“Why? That's so early? It's the summer!” Sehun and Luhan whine.

 

“Because of you two, I haven't had alone time with Yifan for nine years. On the days I don't have to work, the weekend, Sehun always spends the night, not that I dislike having you here. Let Yifan and I relax for once, just stay quiet in your rooms.”

 

“Fine,” Luhan grunts. “Let's go, Hun.”

 

Sehun nods, following Luhan inside the house and to his room.

 

As he enters, Sehun stops and takes a deep breath, taking in the most Luhan-y scent. It smells like his fresh, clean bed sheets mixed with the citrus from his fragrant candles and, oh god, does Sehun love the smell.

 

“Sehun! Let's watch a movie!” Luhan says, already in his pajamas. He throws his wet swimming shorts in the dirty clothes basket besides Sehun and the smell is instantly taken away and replaced with the scent of chlorine.

 

“What movie?” Sehun asked as he finally moves to change into his sleeping clothes.

 

“Whatever you want to watch,” Luhan says, jumping into his bed and pulls the blankets around him. Sehun gulps at how cute the scene is, but ignores it as best as he can, sitting down besides his best friend.

 

“Warm Bodies,” Sehun decides, moving to the DVD shelf and grabbing his favorite movie. Luhan rolls his eyes, regretting letting Sehun choose, as he takes his laptop off the nightstand beside his bed. Ever since that movie came out, Sehun made it his new obsession. Every time he has the chance to pick a movie, he chooses that one.

 

“When don’t you watch that? I don’t think you’ve seen an actual movie in years,” Luhan deadpans.

 

“Shut it, scoot over, and play the movie,” Sehun grins and sits on the bed, handing his friend the DVD. Luhan puts the disc in, turning up the volume slightly so it wasn’t too loud. He sets up the pillows and puts it on Sehun’s lap before they both leaned back to watch the screen.

 

For over half of the movie, Sehun was the only one actually paying attention, mumbling little comments here and there or gasping at surprising moments as if he hadn’t seen it a hundred times before. Suddenly, he felt something heavy on his shoulder. Looking to the side of him, he sees Luhan sleeping peacefully, unknowingly cuddling to his friend’s side.

 

Don’t do this. I am being challenged, Sehun thinks to himself, inwardly crying. Luhan’s lips are parted slightly and drool is shining at the edge of his lips.

 

“I am disgusted,” Sehun whispers, though he believes the sight is anything but. He turns back to the movie just as it gets to his favorite part, when R and Julie are running from the Boneys then are about to jump.

 

“It’s over,” Julie whispers fearfully.

 

“No… keep you safe,” R forces out, looking down at the pool of water far below the ledge they stand at. “It will be okay.” Taking one last look at the Boneys running at them, R wraps his arms around Julie, turning around and falling into the water.

 

Sehun had almost was able to engross himself into the movie until Luhan moved and threw his arm around Sehun’s stomach and pulling him, also burying his face into the Korean boy’s side. Sehun freezes, unable to breathe.

 

Screw it, I’ll finish the movie tomorrow, Sehun thinks, pausing the movie and setting the laptop onto the floor. He turns and pushes the smaller boy away from him, waking him up from his rest.

 

“Huh?” Luhan moans, opening his eyes slightly. “Why’d you wake me? What time is it?”

 

“It’s not even twelve-thirty! How could you fall asleep?”

“Because your movie . Now, why’d you wake me?”

 

“You were almost on top of me. Get on your side so I can go to bed,” Sehun rolls him to the side before ripping the blankets away and wrapping it around him. Luhan whines, pulling the sheets, but gives up in the end because Sehun was too stubborn to share with his friend.

 

Luhan huffs. “Fine, if you aren’t going to share the blankets with me…” His voice wanders off and Sehun thinks he fell asleep, until an arm and leg are suddenly thrown on him. The Chinese boy moves close, hugging Sehun tightly to get as much heat as possible.

 

“W-What are you doing?” Sehun nearly yells from shock. He turns to his side, Luhan only taking advantage of it to wrap his leg around fully.

 

“You did this to yourself,” Luhan mumbles. When he hears no reply from the other male, he closes his eyes and drifts to sleep.

 

No matter how hard Sehun tries to sleep, his heart and mind is in a panic mode and his breaths are uneven. It takes forever, but he eventually gets himself to rest.

 

~*~

 

“There is something I need to tell you,” Luhan says to Sehun, voice in a whisper. If he wasn’t sitting so close to Sehun, he wouldn’t have been heard.

 

“Y-Yes?” Sehun asks, hating how nervous he was. Luhan lifts his head, the Korean male surprised at how he missed the fact that dark eyeliner was around the rim of his friend’s eyes. Sehun bit his lip, admiring how y and mature it made Luhan look.

 

“I don’t know exactly when I started having these feelings,” Luhan looked everywhere, but the other’s eyes. “I have never felt so intensely about any guy before. My heart beats like crazy around you, my hands get sweaty, and even though I act like nothing is going on, I always feel the need to kiss you or hug you or hold your hands at the randomest times. I can’t stand it anymore.”

“What are you saying?” Sehun asks dumbly.

 

Gripping tightly on his leather pants (when did they get there?) that hugged his beautifully slim legs, Luhan let out a nervous breath. “What I am trying to say is… Sehun, I think- I know I’m in love with you. Please date me.”

Shocked, Sehun stares, mouth agape, eyes the size of soccer balls. He can’t find a voice to reply, so he continues to stare, making the boy in front of him shy.

 

“Aren’t you going to answer?” Luhan looks down. “Sehun? Sehun…. Sehun?!”

“SEHUN IF YOU DON’T WAKE UP RIGHT NOW, I WILL KILL YOU!” Luhan screams, jumping on top of his friend, rudely waking him from his dream. Sehun opens his eyes in surprise, instantly hit with the cruel reality.

 

“You can’t be serious…” Sehun whispers to himself, pushing his friend off and looking around the room almost fearfully.

 

“Yeah, I’m serious! It’s past twelve and I’ve spent an hour trying to wake you up!” Luhan reaches over and grabs his friend’s ear, dragging him out of the bed. “Get dressed, eat lunch, go home. I don’t want to deal with you anymore.”

Sehun furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, frowning slightly. “What did I do?”

 

“You nearly killed me last night when you rolled on top of me. Luckily, I was able to move to the couch and sleep. Now, you leave because you caused me too much pain for one night,” Luhan crosses his arms.

 

“You’re so mean to me,” Sehun glares, grabbing his clean clothes from his bag and hugging them in his arms.

 

“Only because you’re like my brother,” the Chinese male smiles brightly, pinching Sehun’s cheek.

 

Did he seriously just family-zone me then smile? That is worse than friend-zoning, he sees me as a brother. He stomps all over my heart then still has the decency to smile at me? I feel disgusting; this is . He is rude. That smile is too bright for my eyes. Kill me now. I want to kiss my brother right now, Sehun thinks. He huffs.

 

“Too bad you aren’t actually my brother. You’re the strange kid I found at the park on a rainy day and wouldn’t leave me alone ever since. If it weren’t for me, your dad would have never found you,” Sehun says jokingly. Luhan punches his arm playfully, rubbing it a little after realizing he hit harder than expected.

 

I was blessed, I am blessed. That was the luckiest day of my life, finding that boy. He’s so sweet, if my feelings are true, I’ll tell him soon... I promise.

 

~*~

 

“I’ll tell him soon, I promise,” Sehun says to his friend, Zitao, while drawing in his math journal during their free time in class.

 

“You told me you’ve liked him since your first year, right? Then you told me that exact sentence when I first came to this school…  during your second year. So it’s been three years, and you haven’t made a move?” Zitao sighs. His friend is hopeless.

 

“That is correct. Soon though, soon.”

“You’re going to tell me that exact thing when you’re eighty, single, alone and dying.”

“Prolly,” Sehun agrees emotionlessly.

 

“You hopeless loser! You better tell him by Friday or I will!”

 

“You wouldn’t!” Sehun gasped.

“Wanna bet?” Zitao smirks, crossing his arms and leaning back in his seat. The chair begins to tip backwards and he yelps, but his cool image is back when he balances himself.

 

“There is no need to bet, I will confess before Friday,” Sehun raises a hand to make Tao stop. “It’s raining Thursday, right?

 

“Should be. Why’d you ask?”

“That’ll be my day,” Sehun lets out a breath slowly. “I’m not going to miss it.”
 

 

~*~

 

Come on, Sehun, you have liked him for years. It’s time to tell him, he deserves to know, Sehun tells himself as he impatiently waits for the class bell to ring.

 

What if he is straight? What if he doesn’t like me back? What if he avoids me? Sehun thinks nervously. It isn’t helping, he needs to turn off his brain like he does during class. The high pitch bell rings within the school and he walks out, meeting up with Luhan just like planned.

 

“Hey,” Luhan looks up from his phone when Sehun approached him, putting it in his pocket. “You sure you want to go out today? It’s cloudy.”

“It’s perfect. Let’s go get coffee and drink it at the park, there is something I have to tell you,” Sehun says nervously. Luhan agrees, not noticing how Sehun isn’t keeping eye contact. From the corner of the Korean boy’s eye, he sees Zitao giving him a thumbs up, which Sehun glares in return.

 

Getting warm drinks from a starbucks nearby, they head to the park. Sehun heads to the bench, sitting down and leaning back comfortably and closing his eyes. Luhan sits beside him. They indulge themselves in the peaceful silence and cold air. After a couple minutes, they began to feel raindrops falling on them, slowly soaking into their school uniforms.

 

“Sehun, tell me what you wanted to say so we can go. It’s raining and I-”

“Just wait a little longer,” Sehun interrupts, not looking up. So for a couple minutes more, they sat, until the rain was unbearable for even Sehun.

 

The Korean boy stands up, walking to the grass and picking up a couple white flowers. “There is something I’ve been wanting to tell you,” Sehun whispers quietly.

 

“Yeah?” Luhan asks, wrapping his arms around himself to keep warm. He watches Sehun as he sits beside him, messing with the flowers in his hand.

 

“It’s strange how it happened. Honestly, I don’t know how…” Sehun laughs humorlessly. “For a couple years now, I’ve had… a really large crush on you.”

 

Luhan looks down, eyes hidden behind his dark hair soaked in rain. Sehun can’t read him, and doesn’t get a reply, so he continues on.

“I wanted to tell you, even if you reject me. It’s totally fine, just please don’t avoid me. I’m really sorry, seriously.”

“Don’t be,” Luhan cuts him off and looks up. “I want to know… are you…?”

“Gay? Yes.”

Luhan’s expression is soft, full of pity. “I’m really sorry, Hun. I just don’t like guys. I’m so sorry.”

Sehun looks down, afraid that if he looks in Luhan’s eyes any longer, he’ll cry. “No, it’s fine. I kind of expected it anyways.” Sehun forces a small smile. “What did you want to tell me?”

Luhan’s expression turns into one of panic. “Oh, i-it’s nothing important!”

Sehun frowns slightly, but quickly replaces it with a grin. “You can tell me… You seemed excited about it.”

“It’s just… I…” the Chinese male looks around, contemplating whether or not to tell. He sighs, deciding to do so in the end. “I scored a date with Seohyun on Saturday…”

 

Sehun’s smile fell. Though his expression was blank, his eyes showed anger, jealousy, frustration, and sadness. “Oh… I'm sorry.”

 

“Don't be sorry, you have no reason to be. If anything, I should be sorry.”

 

Sehun thinks for a second, completely ignoring the rain. He grabs the flowers tightly, thinking Why can't it be me? Why can't I be a girl? Why does the person I like see me as nothing but a brother?

 

Throwing the flowers down, he stands up and stomps on them. “!” He yells. “Why can't anything good happen to me?!”

 

Sehun's eyes fill with tears, but he pushes them down, running away, ignoring Luhan’s yells, and going home.

 

~*~

 

Sehun got sick the next day. He sort of expected it. When he got home he didn't warm up, just threw his wet clothes into the basket and jumping onto his bed. He cried, too, skipped dinner, and not bothering to pull up his blankets or dry his hair.

 

Now, he shivered under three heavy blankets, shivering and occasionally sneezing.

 

“Look at what you did,” his mother scolded. She dipped a cloth into a bowl of water, squeezing most of it out before gently putting it on her son’s forehead.

 

“I'm sorry, mom,” he said, letting out a rough cough.

 

“You should have gotten an umbrella or stayed under covers,” she sighed. “Why were you out there anyway?”

 

“Confessing,” Sehun mutters thoughtlessly. It was too late to catch himself. His brain was slow yet his mouth was too fast, a terrible result of being sick.

 

She paused before his head. “How are you going to go out with her in this condition?”

 

“He rejected me.”

 

The mother quieted again, in shock. “You're…?” Her voice was almost inaudible.

 

“I am gay. Surprise. Thought you knew,” he answers, suddenly coughing again.

 

“Oh, baby, I'm sorry he rejected you… It's gonna be okay… Did they not accept your uality well?” She asks softly, gently.

 

“He did. After all, he was raised by a gay couple, he was just straight,” Sehun whispers. “I wanted to reply with something funny, to lighten the mood. I wanted to say ‘that's not how Joonmyun and Yifan raised you! Disgusting, there are people that can fix you!’ But instead, I let him give me the news that he's going on a date with someone. A girl, like an authentic girl. One hundred percent real girl, while I'm not even half a man.”

 

“What does that mean? Did Luhan make fun of you?” Sehun flinches upon hearing the name but let's out a deep breath.

 

“He didn't, but it took me years to confess, then in the end, I ran away. He hasn’t text me yet, and I'm too scared to text him. I'm a coward, I'm…” Sehun pauses.

 

“Hey! Stop taking advantage of my sickness! You know I can't stop talking,” Sehun frowns.

 

“It's when your most honest and happy to tell me things. I won't miss an opportunity to know what's going on it my baby boy’s life,” she smiles softly, standing up and walking towards the door. “I'm going to go make some soup, I'll be back.”

 

“Wait! Momma!” Sehun stops her. “If I don't get a date by the end of the school year, can you buy me an animal.”

 

“Depends on the animal,” She replies.

 

“Dog.”

 

“I'll think about it.”

 

“Think about it?! You have to actually think about it?!” Sehun frowns. His mom just laughed, exiting the room. Sehun let out a deep breath, closing his eyes and drifting to sleep.

 

~*~

 

Sehun enters the school. It's empty, from what he can see. Slowly, he walks down the hall to his first period classroom. There is only one desk in the room, which he can tell is his.

 

He walked up to it, focusing on all the ugly words and phrases related to his uality on the surface in bright colored sharpies. Luhan was the first person he came out to. Why would he do this?

 

He hears faint chuckling behind him. Quickly, he turns around, seeing Luhan and some others. Some people, Sehun didn't even recognize.

 

“Lu… why did you..?” Sehun’s voice cracked. His eyes burned but he pushed down all tears.

 

“Shut up, you gay piece of ,” Luhan growls out. He smirks seeing the look of pain on Sehun’s face.

 

“What did I-”

 

“You're disgusting! Having a crush on your friend? How long have you kept that a secret?”

 

“Freshman year…” Sehun forces out.

 

“Wow. Just what have you done in these years that I didn't know about?” Luhan tilts his head slightly. “The time we went swimming, did you imagine dirty things? When I slept next to you when you spent the night? Just what did you think of?”

 

“Nothing! I didn't do that!” Sehun cried. “What are you doing?!”

 

“You've wanted to do it, haven't you? To kiss and hug me? To touch me?” Luhan continues. He steps toward Sehun, pulling down his school uniform tie. “Do it now, Sehun. You have your chance.”

 

“No! You don't like me! I would never put you in that position!”

 

“Why? Isn't that what you want? Isn't that what all you gays want?”

 

“How can you think like that? What about your parents?!” Sehun closes his eyes. He doesn't want to see Luhan this way, this isn't him.

 

“Shut it,” Luhan says. Sehun feels slender fingers trace his jawline and go down his neck to his shoulder. He is pushed back, falling into a seat.

 

He waits, but nothing happened for a couple seconds. He opens his eyes, regretting it instantly.

 

Seohyun and Luhan was in front of him, holding hands and kissing each other deeply and lovingly. Seohyun was wearing a beautiful white dress, a veil behind her head. Luhan was in a tuxedo. His hand was cupping her hand while his opposite arm pulled her body closer by the waist.

 

Now that Sehun focuses clearly, he can see that Luhan opened his eyes occasionally to look at Sehun. He was mocking him.

 

Sehun’s heart broke, but he couldn't make himself look away from it. Tears dripped down his face. He trembled with anger and jealousy, but still couldn't move away.

 

Sehun woke up with tears running down his face. He thought about his dream over and over, each time getting hit with the realization that it will never be him up there, marrying Luhan happily, kissing him and being in a relationship with him. It wasn't meant to be.

 

Why couldn't it be meant to be? Luhan and Sehun knew each other for forever, they could make each other happier more than anyone else could. Luhan knew every single one of Sehun’s darkest secrets along with his likes and dislikes. Sehun knew Luhan’s, too, so how come Luhan couldn't see how perfect Sehun was for him?

 

He's going to try to make Luhan his. Sehun believes Luhan is perfect for him, so he'll try his hardest.

 

Sehun decides that he won't give up just yet. He won't give up until Luhan is his or someone else's.

 

~*~

 

Luhan sat in the rain, staring at the crumpled up flowers on the ground. He couldn't help but feel guilty and sad.

 

Did I really just break my friend’s heart? he asked himself. It's not like he wanted to, but he just couldn't force himself to be with someone he didn't want to be with. Did he really not want to be with Sehun? Wouldn't this weird him out if it did?

 

Of course it wouldn't weird him out. There is nothing wrong with being gay or liking people.

 

Luhan sighs, closing his eyes and imagining Sehun and him in a relationship. He thinks of them holding hands, hugging, cuddling, even kissing. A small feeling wells inside of him, but Luhan believes it nothing but guilt knowing that if he was in a relationship with Sehun, it would be one sided.

 

He goes home confused.

 

~*~

 

Monday came back again quickly and Sehun’s mom forced him to go to school even though he still was a bit sick.

 

“Mother, I am dying. I cannot go to school. I will sneeze all over my assignments and I'm gonna puke everywhere,” Sehun covered his mouth and gagged. “I already feel it coming up, oh god!”

 

The mother rolled her eyes. “The only reason you'd puke is because you just ate three large pancakes. And you poured on so much syrup that I couldn't even see the pancakes.”

 

“I am sick, let me live,” Sehun said.

 

“What do you think about this, honey?” The mother turned to her husband, instantly frowning.

 

The father sat with his arms dangling by his sides, face squished against the table and probably half asleep.

 

“These children, oh my goodness,” the mom sighed, rubbing her face. “You're going to school, like it or not.”

 

Sehun groans, but agrees. He picked up his bags and heading towards the door. His mother patted his head lovingly before moving to the car.

 

After a short silent drive to the high school, the mom stopped in front of the school for her son to leave. She tapped his chin, kissing his forehead.

 

“Make today a good day,” She smiled. “Don't avoid Luhan, but don't crowd him if he wants a break, okay?”

 

“Yes, Ma,” he sighed, opening the door reluctantly. “I love you.”

 

“Love you too, sweetheart. Have a good day at school!” She smiled. With that, he closed the door and walked to the side of the school.

 

Though they were supposed to enter through the front doors, he always took the side entrance by the cafeteria because, not only was it a pretty garden with cool stone structures, but it was closest to his first period classroom.

 

He gazed at the flowers, petals coated with beaded water. Did it rain last night and he didn't notice?

 

Sehun traced the tops of the cement benches, hand eventually hitting the shoulder of someone. Shocked, he looked up, instantly dropping his gaze when seeing the familiar face of his friend.

 

“Good morning, my Oh-so wonderful Sehun. See what I did there?” Luhan grinned.

 

“Yeah, I see…” Sehun mumbled back. He felt ashamed, and he hated it.

 

“You were gone last Friday... I hope you're better. I texted you Sunday, but you didn't reply… so I just decided that you needed a break,” Luhan said.

 

Sehun took a deep breath, lifting up his breath and straightening his posture confidently. “I was sick Friday, but I'm better now. How… How was your date?”

 

Luhan blinked, surprised Sehun would even ask him that. “About that… it didn't go so well. Seohyun was a bit too judgy for my liking. Girls are too hard to understand,” he sighed. “They act one way, then before you know it, they're a totally different person.”

 

“Maybe that's why I'm into men,” Sehun joked. Luhan laughed shortly, eyes crinkling into little slits as he let out his strange, high pitch huffing of a giggle (which Sehun loved and wouldn't mind listening to it on repeat for the rest of his life).

 

“I'm glad you're feeling better,” Luhan patted the other’s back. “Go to class. I'll see you at lunch.”

 

Sehun nodded, walking away from his friend and waving, moving to his class just before the bell rang.

 

~*~

 

Sehun got to the lunchroom earlier than most kids. He was in the front of the line with Zitao, talking about Luhan.

 

“I think this is a bad idea, Hun,” Tao said as he grabbed a sandwich from the front of the line. “Forcing Han into a relationship with you? That's a bit much.”

 

“I am not forcing him into anything,” Sehun grunted, walking away for the food without an item on his tray since he was too distracted by the conversation. “I was going to give my full effort into making him like me until either he finds someone or he likes me. But it won't be forceful.”

 

“I seriously don't understand what you're saying,” Zitao sighed, moving to their usual seats, sitting in front of Sehun. “So you mean you're going to mess around with him, hoping he'll like you?”

 

“Exactly! I mean, I'm going to open up completely, let him know my heart, know how caring, gentle, and loving I am, without pressuring him or even bringing up a relationship. Get it?” Sehun asked, finally receiving a nod from his friend. “I just don't know how to do it. Any suggestions?”

 

Zitao groaned, rolling his eyes. “I don't know, just do things that aren't exactly what friends do, but not to big to be a problem.”

 

“What?”

 

“I mean, things like tying a tie if he can't do it, or cook for him randomly. When you spend the night, you sleep in the same bed, right? Just pretend to fall asleep faster than him, then curl into him, and hope that he doesn't push you away.”

 

“Doesn't that seem like a bit much?”

 

“This all seems like a bit much. He said he was straight,” the Chinese male sighed.

 

“That's what he thinks,” Sehun grins. “It doesn't mean I can't try, right?”

 

Zitao just shrugged, putting a finger to his lips for Sehun to shut up. The younger was going to ask why, but stopped when Luhan hurriedly ran up to the table and pushed Zitao out of the way, sitting in front of Sehun.

 

“You won't believe what happened!” Luhan exclaimed, violently ripping open his sandwich wrapper, ignoring Tao’s pained whines.

 

“What happened?” Sehun asked, pushing his empty tray away and resting his face in his palm.

 

“I walking down the hall and by Mr. Jung’s Science room, this kid threw a pack of gum and yelled ‘free gum’! Literally every kid in the hall jumped at it and principle had to come break it up.”

 

“What? Why are you excited about that?” Sehun asked. “The school is probably going to ban gum now.”

 

“Probably,” Luhan agreed, taking a bite of his sandwich. “Where is your food?”

 

“Don't talk with your mouth full,” Sehun tried not to gag. “I forgot to actually get my lunch, even though I went through the line.”

 

Luhan took another bite of his sandwich, getting it all over his face, before setting it down and standing up so he could get his wallet from his back pocket. Quickly, he pulls out two dollars and hands it to Sehun.

 

“Go get something from the vending machine,” He said with a smile.

 

“No, I can't use your money, Lu-”

 

“It's fine. Take it or starve.”

 

Giving up because he knows Luhan is stubborn, Sehun stands up as well, grabbing ahold of the money with his left hand and bringing his right hand to wipe the mayonnaise on the corner of Luhan’s mouth.

 

“You're such a mess,” Sehun whispered and smiled, gently tugging the money out of Luhan’s hand before walking to the vending machine in the corner of the cafeteria.

 

From the corner of his eye, he could see Zitao yanking on a wide eyed Luhan’s arm, trying to get him to sit down. Sehun chuckled to himself as he pressed the buttons on the machine to get chips.

 

He made it back to his seat, placing a chip in his mouth. Luhan took a deep breath to say something, but Sehun interrupted him by putting a chip in his mouth, too.

 

“Am I coming over next weekend?” Sehun asked.

 

“Well, yeah, you always do,” Luhan grinned. “Why wouldn't you?”

 

Sehun shrugged and smiled, “just asking.”

 

~*~

 

As Luhan helped Joonmyun in the kitchen, Sehun spun in circles on the swivel chair in Luhan’s room. He couldn't stop thinking of what had happened earlier that day.

 

It was the last day of the school week and Sehun was excited to finally eat lunch, since he had skipped breakfast. He started running to their usual spot but accidentally tripped on the foot of Kim Jongin, getting tomato soup and grilled cheese all over himself. Jongin only laughed, mumbled an apology before walking away. Luckily, Luhan came to Sehun’s rescue and cleaned him up as best as he could in the bathroom.

 

Sehun was more than embarrassed at that moment, but grateful that his friend and crush of more than three years had helped him. It's just moments like these that give Sehun hope.

 

It's ridiculous thinking that way, but any other friend would have laughed at least a little bit, but Luhan just helped him, a look of nothing but care and concern in his eyes.

 

Sehun has had a pretty unfortunate life. He knows it's true, because what else would have explained how he got stuck on three rides in a row at Disneyland then got his churro stolen from a starving, and angry, five year old when taking a break afterwards.

 

It's just this one time that he wants something good to happen, even if it's a bit selfish.

 

“Dinner is ready!” Luhan’s call brought him out of his thoughts. Sehun stood up quickly, forgetting how he was just spinning. The room tilted, moving and made him feel like he was going upside down. Not even one step, he toppled onto the floor.

 

Luhan popped his head into the room not long afterwards, mumbling a “what the hell?” before picking up the other’s arms, roughly dragging him to the dining room.

 

~*~

 

“I can't sleep, tell me a story,” Sehun whispered in the dark room. He his side to face Luhan then moved one of his arms behind his head.

 

Luhan opened his eyes, staring into Sehun’s. His eyes sparkled and his lips separated into a bright grin that almost blinded Sehun. “Are you scared or something?”

 

Sehun resisted the urge to lean in and kiss him, so he bit the inside of his mouth. He almost forgot about answering the question so he just nodded.

 

“You're such a baby,” Luhan chuckled. “Here is my story. There once was an old koi fish that went by the name of Prince Oh. Oh was the ruler of the pond, well he thought so at least, but he had competition with Prince Han of the Lu family. Already, Prince Han was known to be a better ruled, he was smart, handsome, funny, kind, amazing, strong–”

 

“I get it Luhan… You're perfect,” Sehun sighed. Luhan just giggled before continuing.

 

“Well, the actually biggest reason Prince Han would have won was because he was marrying a princess, and they would become rulers together. Prince Oh was losing. He was clumsy, and he was strange, but he had a hard time. It doesn't mean he didn't try. His effort was enough to change Prince Han’s opinion on him. So Prince Han backed out and let Prince Oh be ruler of the pond. Prince Han decided not to marry, and fully left the position of prince, becoming King Oh’s servant to stay by his side. King Oh and Han became the best of friends, basically ruling the pond together.

 

“A war suddenly started in the pond. Gods from the sky began to reach down and grab the fish, King Oh and Han were taken, bright into a factory, and turned into different kinds of seafood,” he paused waiting for Sehun to laugh, but he got no reaction. He shrugged, moving to his side and pulling the blankets up to him.

 

Sehun smiled to himself, scooting over and putting his chest against Luhan’s back. Luhan tensed and Sehun got prepared to be pushed away, but instead he just heard a deep sigh, a whisper of something incoherent before Luhan pushed closer into Sehun.

 

Sehun was about to scream.

 

We are spooning. We are together, going to sleep, but we are touching. Spooning. Is this what the big spoon feels like? Am I dead? Sehun was about to die, he couldn't fall asleep.

 

Forget rest, were snuggling.

 

~*~

 

The early rays of sunlight shined through the window of Luhan’s room woke Sehun up from his light sleep. He was about to turn away from Luhan’s sleeping body but decided to get up and do what Tao had said. Randomly make Luhan a meal.

 

Sehun tiptoed out of the room. He can already imagine it, Luhan coming home from a day at work, wrapping his arms around Sehun’s waist and standing on his tiptoes to kiss the back of Sehun’s neck.

 

Sehun laughed to himself bringing himself out of his wonderful thoughts and focusing on breakfast.

 

After looking through the fridge, he decides to go with a regular American breakfast: pancakes, toast, and eggs.

 

There wasn't any syrup but they did have honey, whip cream, and jelly, which all are great substitutes, right? He shrugs.

 

Along out a bowl, he mixes the pancake powder with some water as he heated up the burners on the stove. When it seemed okay to him, he sprayed the pan with cooking spray before pouring the batter in.

 

“So far so good… I haven't started a fire yet,” Sehun whispers to himself. He waits a bit before flipping it with the spatula. The cooked side was slightly crispy on the edge, but it was good for a first time.

 

As he waited for it to cook, he grabbed some eggs and settled them to the side before grabbing pieces of bread and putting them into the toaster. He felt that the pancake was ready so he put it on a large plate, smiling when he saw that it looked nicer than he had thought it would. He put another pancake in and soon, he had six pancakes and three pieces of toast. He would have had four but he accidentally used all the bread when trying to replace the other burnt pieces of toast.

 

He cracked an egg on the side of a new pan, waiting for it to cook. Sehun hears a sound behind him and snaps his head around, seeing a tall figure with a weird mask. Frightened, he tries to scream but nothing comes out. A deep laugh erupts from the tall man and only then does Sehun realize it's Yifan wearing one of his beauty masks.

 

The younger slides down the counter, clutching his chest and letting out little shocked whimpers.

 

“What are you doing, bud?” Yifan asks, looking at the food on the counter.

 

“Making breakfast,” Sehun takes a deep breath, recollecting himself. “You get none of it.”

 

The Chinese male frowns, but shrugs, sitting down at the counter table and watching over Sehun. The younger stands back up and continues cooking. When he is satisfied with his cooking, wakes everyone up to try.

 

Luhan and Joonmyun made their way into the room, sitting in front of full plates of food. Sehun didn't have a plate, he wasn't hungry.

 

Joonmyun smiled softly. “What made you decide to make this?” He asked, cutting off a piece of pancake and eating it.

 

“I just felt like doing so. It's really my first time cooking but I've watched enough cooking shows to know what I'm doing,” Sehun laughs. “So what do you guys think?”

 

Joonmyun coughed, rubbing the back of his neck. “It's really great for your first time, honey. I'm proud of you.”

 

“It's good. You'll improve a lot in the future,” Yifan answered shortly, taking a bite of his toast (was toast supposed to sound that crunchy?).

 

“Honestly,” Luhan set his fork down, putting his folded hands on the table. “The toast is burnt and tastes like you're used charcoal. It breaks like glass, like it hurt my tongue. The pancake was undercooked in the middle. The eggs tasted strange and it’s like you just smashed the shells and tried to hide it. It's terrible.”

 

Sehun’s smile fell, but Luhan just smiled brightly.

 

“But you made it for us, and you woke up early and worked hard. So yeah, it wasn't that good, but I really appreciate it, and I'm going to eat everything on my plate and enjoy it, just because you made it. Thank you, Sehunnie!” Luhan continued to eat his food happily.

 

Joonmyun observed how Sehun’s sad expression faded into one of pure admiration while he looked at Luhan.

 

~*~

 

“Prom is soon!!” Zitao threw his fists in the air, leaning back on the bleachers while Luhan was finishing up with soccer practice. “I am so ready. I feel bad, though. I am going to have to break so many hearts when I reject people. Only one girl can go with me.”

 

“Yeah, you got no one for the dances last year, and I doubt you will this year,” Sehun sighed.

 

“We’ll see about that. There is a rumor about Taeyeon liking me,” Zitao grinned to himself.

 

“Taeyeon? Yeah, right. She is the most popular girl in school. I doubt she will like you.”

 

“You doubt a lot of things, don't you?” Tao sighs. “Do you have anyone in mind for prom?”

 

“Luhan doesn't like me back just yet.”

 

“I didn't ask about Luhan.”

 

“But I answered your question?”

 

“Basically, yeah you did,” Tao rolled his eyes. “If he doesn't ask you out, which he most likely won't, are you still going?”

 

“Yeah, of course. Party of one in the corner, you know? Free punch,” Sehun smiled. “Besides, you can be my date.”

 

“I'm straight and going with someone else.”

 

“I'm Spanish and dating my best friend.”

 

“What? You aren't?” Tao tilted his head in confusion.

 

“I thought we were telling lies to each other,” Sehun joked and Tao frowned.

 

“Okay fine. If I can't get a date by the day before prom, we'll go together.”

 

“My favorite colors are black and white.” Sehun suddenly stated.

 

“Why are you telling me that?”

 

“So you know what color of boutonnière to get me for prom.”

 

“Oh,” Tao rolled his eyes. “Well my favorite color is b–”

 

“I didn't freakin ask.”

 

“You're so mean to me!” Tao whined. “How did we even become friends?”

 

Sehun shrugged.

 

“Anyways, did you make any progress with Lu? I want to know if your little plan is actually working out.”

 

“He's being nicer to me, if that counts,” Sehun said. “Like he used to get upset when I wanted to watch my favorite movie, but now he's even suggesting watching it. And he criticized my cooking, like it was really bad I admit that, but he said he was going to eat all of it and enjoy it just because I made it.”

 

“I don't think that's saying much. Nothing is going on? He doesn't stare at you and look away when you look at him? He doesn't flinch when you touch or try to get yourselves as close as possible?” Zitao asks.

 

“I am usually the one looking at him and looking away. I also am the one flinching, but we both do that, but sometimes I get the courage to get real close, and he is okay with it,” the younger explains. “Other than that, no progress.”

 

“You still don't know. I'd have faith, something good might happen.”

 

“Well, you know prom’s coming,” Sehun sighs, looking ahead. “Once he gets a date, then I guess I'll just give up.”

 

Sehun smiles sadly. Tao looks down.

 

He knows this must really hurt Sehun…

 

~*~

 

Luhan dried his hair as he came in from the showers. He changed into his other clothes and sighed, leaning against his clothes locker.

 

“Something the matter?” The coach asked as he passed by. Luhan shook his head, but his expression gave him away.

 

“What's wrong? You know you can always talk to me,” The coach slapped his shoulder. Luhan winced.

 

“Just… love stuff, you know. Someone likes me. They're a different kind of person, and I have told myself I can't date someone like this, because they aren't my ideal, if that makes sense, but somehow, they still mess with my mind.”

 

The coach furrowed his eyebrows. “I don't understand. What do you mean?”

 

“Actually, never mind. It's probably nothing anyways,” Luhan laughed.

 

“Well, you did good today. I can't wait to see you at the last game,” the coach smiled. Luhan smiled back, quickly thanking him before leaving and joining his friends outside.

 

“What took you so long?” Sehun groaned, throwing his arm around Luhan’s shoulder. Luhan laughed quietly.

 

“Just talking a bit,” Luhan smiled. “What do you guys want to do now?”

 

Sehun shrugged. “Bubble tea?”

 

“I love bubble tea!” Luhan exclaimed, as if Sehun didn't know.

 

Zitao groaned. “You guys always have that. Why don't we go somewhere else?”

 

“No one invited you!” Luhan and Sehun said simultaneously. Tao pouted and followed behind quietly.

 

~*~

 

Sehun lay in the middle of his yard late at night, feeling the grass tickle his skin that was exposed and enjoy the nice, cool breeze of the wind, too. Luhan was with him too, one of the rare nights he spend at Sehun’s home, but Sehun barely even felt his presence. It felt peaceful, like he was alone and safe.

 

“Luhan, there is a shooting star,” Sehun said when he saw one fly across the night sky.

 

“Huh? Did you make a wish?” Luhan asked in a whisper. He searched above him as if it would still be there.

 

“I did,” Sehun smiled.

 

“What did you wish for?”

 

“I can't tell you, or it won't come true.”

 

I wished that you could find happiness with me.

 

They silenced for a bit, but Luhan suddenly blurted out something as if it was on his mind forever.

 

“I have something to tell you!”

 

“Yeah, Lu?” Sehun turned his head to look at his friend. Luhan looked hesitant to speak but cleared his throat and went on.

 

“Tiffany asked me to prom and... I accepted,” Luhan’s voice was barely a whisper, like he felt sorry for saying it.

 

Sehun was so quiet that Luhan began to panic, but Sehun just laughed.

 

“I don't know why you felt the need to tell me. It's not like I matter when it comes to your love life,” Sehun continued to laugh. “It's so funny… So funny.”

 

“I'm sorry, Sehun.”

 

“Don't be,” Sehun shook his head slowly standing up and moving to the door into his house “This is just like my first rejection, don't you think?”

 

“Wait, Sehun, where are you going?” Luhan sat up and stared at him.

 

“I'm just a bit tired, so I’m getting ready for bed…”

 

“Are you really okay? Really I'm sorry, what's wrong?”

 

“Let's just say…” Sehun gave another sad smile, “my wishes don't come true with my luck.” And he walked into the house.

 

~*~

 

Zitao pulled Luhan behind the school a couple days before prom. Tao looked anxious, yet angered for some reason.

 

“What's wrong?” Luhan asked nervously.

 

“What did you do? Why is Sehun acting like that?”

 

“What do you mean?” Luhan asked dumbly.

 

“How stupid are you?” Zitao rolled his eyes. “The last week he has been unresponsive, or answering with short sentences. He looks terrible, like he hasn't been sleeping or eating. What did you do?”

 

“Why does it concern you?” Luhan asked, suddenly defensive.

 

“What's worse than going to a prom alone is going to the prom with someone who looks like don't care to be there.”

 

“Are you dating Sehun or something?” Luhan asked, voice low and almost defensive.

 

“No, I'm straight, but we made a deal that if I didn't have a date by the day before prom, I would have to take him so he wouldn't be alone,” Zitao frowned slightly. “It's two days before prom and even I am losing hope. At least my suit isn't going to waste, I guess.”

 

“Anyways, I can't stop Sehun for feeling that way, I'm sorry,” Luhan looked down, kicking his feet in the dirt.

 

“Don't you feel anything?”

 

Luhan snapped his head back up. “Huh?”

 

“I mean, don't you feel anything towards him?”

 

“I'm straight, I–”

 

“Are you sure? Or are you just telling yourself that?” Tao asked. Luhan froze. “Just think about it.”

 

Zitao turned around and walked off.

 

~*~

 

Sehun sat on Luhan’s bed, staring blankly at the corner as Luhan dressed into his fitting black tuxedo. The Korean male was already ready, but he just didn't want to go anymore.

 

It’s harder than he imagined it would be.

 

“Ah ,” Luhan grumbled, bringing Sehun out of his thoughts. “I can't tie this.”

 

Sehun looked at Luhan holding his tie cluelessly around his neck, throwing the sides back and forth. Sehun smiled, and Luhan noticed, his first genuine smile in a week.

 

“You're so foolish,” Sehun said, standing up and tying Luhan’s necktie without effort. “Can I say it?”

 

Luhan blinked. “Say what?”

 

“You look handsome,” Sehun whispered. He felt ashamed and ridiculous for holding onto someone he knew he could never be with, but he couldn't. It was so heartbreaking, but he couldn't.

 

Luhan looked down, removing Sehun’s hand from his tie. “Thanks...”

 

Sehun nodded, returning to his blank face and walking out of the door of Luhan's room into the living room.

 

“Zitao should pick us up soon, then we'll pick up her from her house,” Sehun said. Joonmyun whistled when he saw Sehun.

 

“Lookin’ good!” Luhan's dad complimented, winking.

 

“Ew,” Luhan stuck his tongue out at his dad in disgust.

 

“You're cute, too, honey,” Joonmyun smiled. “Let me go get my camera.”

 

Sehun and Luhan groaned as Joonmyun ran out of the room to get his camera. He came back quickly, asking the two to pose.

 

They stood close, smiling at the camera but it wasn't enough for Joonmyun.

 

“Get close to each other, stop acting awkward,” Joonmyun told them. Sehun and Luhan moved closer, Sehun putting an arm around Luhan’s shoulder and making a peace sign. Joonmyun took a picture and let them rest until Zitao came, then he started taking more.

 

“Tao and Sehun are such nice couple,” Yifan complimented.

 

“Uhh, we are just going together. I'm straight,” Tao corrected.

 

“No one asked,” Yifan said, earning a hit from Joonmyun.

 

“I see where Sehun and Luhan get their hate for me from,” Tao frowned. He twirled his keys around his fingers. “I have the boutonnière in the car, Hun.”

 

“Ooh you actually got me one?” Sehun asked with a small smile. Tao nodded.

 

“Let's go to the car and pick up Luhan’s lady friend,” Zitao said. He waved at Yifan and Joonmyun leaving the house and getting into his car.

 

Sehun put his white boutonnière on before buckling up. It took a while to pick up the girl, but after she came in, they were at the prom in no time.

 

Luhan and Tiffany separated from Tao and Sehun quickly, leaving the two males to sit out at the sides.

 

“Don't you want to dance?” Sehun asked. “I can see Jongin challenging you.”

 

“What do you mean? I am not a good dancer. You are,” Tao said.

 

“If you want to dance, just go. I am not holding you back.”

 

“You're upset, so I want to stay by you.”

 

“That's out of pity then, not because you genuinely want to. It's nice to know that under your douchey attitude you're actually nice,” Sehun joked. Tao glared, standing up and walking into the middle of the group of dancing people.

 

Sehun got up, walking the short distance to the punch bowl to grab a cup then back to his seat. He saw Tiffany and Luhan talking happily by the side of the room.

 

They looked nice together. Much better than Sehun looked with Luhan, much more real, happy, fresh, and in love. It was just something Sehun could never have with Luhan, so he should just accept it.

 

Of course, he just can't make himself. It's too hard.

 

It's been like four years, yet he can't get Luhan. He’s waited so long for something he can't have. Sehun just wants to be greedy, to be the one who sweeps Luhan off his feet and takes care of him and loves him. He wants Luhan to return those feelings back to him.

 

Sehun sighs, chugging down his punch before taking his phone out of his pocket and playing the Minecraft pocket game app (which he paid for and is going to play the hell out of it, even if he looks nerdy). Before he knows it, an hour and a half had passed and now someone kept poking his shoulder.

 

He looks up, seeing a girl smiling at him innocently. She looks nice, so he puts his phone away and crosses his leg, looking directly at the girl. “Hello?”

 

“Hey,” she bows her head down nervously, pulling a long piece of hair behind her ear. “You looked a bit lonely. Are you okay? Did your girlfriend ditch you?”

 

He smiled and shook his head. “I'm fine, just a bit sad. My friend ditched me, and we decided to come together because we both didn't have a date.”

 

“Whoever she is, she made a mistake leaving someone as cute as you,” she giggled lightly. “What's your name?”

 

“My name’s Sehun. And my friend is a he, by the way,” he held out his hand. “You are?”

 

“Jinah,” She shook his hand lightly. “I'm surprised we haven't met before.”

 

“The school is big,” Sehun reasoned. “Why are you alone, if I may ask?”

 

“My boyfriend, he got sick and went home early, but I decided to stay because prom is a magical night and it shouldn't be wasted,” Jinah smiled again. “Plus I want to see if I am prom queen.”

 

Sehun laughed. “I'll vote for you. Where are the ballots?”

 

“They have some at every table, with a box in the middle,” Jinah said, pointing to the nearest table. Sehun smiled, going over to the table and checking Jinah’s name for the female section. He paused, but quickly checked Luhan’s for the king’s section. He put his ballot in the box and turned back to sit with Jinah.

 

“Thank you! You're too sweet,” She smiled widely. “You said you didn't have a date, right? May I ask why’s that? It surprises me that you don't have a girl, because with your looks, you probably had so many girls ask you.”

 

Sehun laughed lightly. “A couple girls have asked me, I admit that, but I'm gay, and stuck loving someone I can't have.”

 

Her smile fell into an expression of slight concern. “I'm so sorry for that. Is that why you said you were sad? Are you okay?”

 

“I'm perfectly fine. Honestly, you made my night, so thank you,” Sehun smiled genuinely at her. Jinah smiled back just as brightly.

 

“Well, Sehun,” she stood up, holding out her hand. “Since we both can't be together for obvious reasons, let's have prom together as friends. We can be each other's dates.”

 

Sehun grabbed her hand, standing up and nodded. He entwined their arms together and brought her to the dancefloor.

 

~*~

 

Luhan had his eyes on Sehun the entire time as he leaned against the wall. He barely payed attention to Tiffany the entire time, and he couldn't help it. Her conversations were boring and he had a lot on his mind.

 

Who was that girl and why was she making Sehun smile? They looked nice together. That couldn't be though, because Sehun was gay, right?

 

“Luhan, honey?” Tiffany’s voice entered his mind.

 

“Huh? What? I'm sorry,” Luhan apologized, flushing red in embarrassment. Tiffany just laughed.

 

“It's totally fine. Are you feeling okay? Or do you want to go home?” She asked worriedly. Luhan shakes his head.

 

“No, I'm okay. I just keep getting distracted,” he says with a reassuring smile.

 

“Okay,” She smiles back. “In about two more songs, the first slow song of the night will play. There will be two. The first song is two songs away from the prom king and queen announcement and the second is the last song of the night.”

 

“How do you know that?” Luhan asked.

 

“I checked the song list while you were staring into space,” Tiffany laughed. “Want to go dance until then?”

 

Luhan nodded, taking her hand and bringing her to the dance floor.

 

Sehun noticed and took Jinah back to the chairs, saying he was tired as an excuse. They talked for a bit, but as the DJ announced a slow song, Jinah stood back up.

 

“I know it's a slow song, but we can have the last one of the night. I have to go get ready in the bathroom. After this song, they announce prom king and queen and I have a strong feeling I’ll win!” She smiled excitedly. “I'll be back soon, Sehun!”

 

Sehun smiled as she ran off into the bathroom. He would have wished her luck, but knowing his own luck, something bad would have happened to her. Jinah is so pure and she doesn't deserve that.

 

He turned his attention to the crowd of people as they began to slow dance. Easily, he spotted Luhan, dancing with Tiffany, her hair resting on his shoulder.

 

Sehun wanted to dance like that with Luhan. He wanted Luhan’s head to rest on his shoulder, maybe even have Luhan step on his toes while he danced them around romantically.

 

Luhan whispered something before Tiffany raises her head and smiles. Sehun just stared.

 

Luhan continues swaying to the music, looking straight into Tiffany’s eyes. “Does this feel right to you?” He asks quietly.

 

“Yes,” Tiffany smiles. “It feels so right. I have liked you for a long time, almost a year now, so I'm really happy to be here with you tonight. It's so amazing, really.”

 

“I don't know,” Luhan mumbles, looking down.

 

“You don't have to, I guess. It's really just about finding love in one another, isn't it?”

 

“I guess,” Luhan sighs. He looks back just in time to see Tiffany leaning in, closing her eyes slowly. The male panics, looking over to see Sehun staring at the floor, hands clenched in his lap.

 

He can't do this, not to Sehun.

 

Why does he care, though? Why does Sehun make him feel like this?

 

Luhan can't continue running away from this. He can't stop how Sehun invaded his head and made him feel so strangely happy around him. He can't stop how he is in love with his best friend.

 

“I'm sorry, I can't do this,” Luhan pushes away, taking multiple steps back. Tiffany’s looks at him, frozen in place.

 

“You can't...what?” She asks, voice nothing more than a whisper.

 

“I really can't kiss you, Tiffany. It's not what I want,” He apologizes.

 

Tiffany’s eyes fill with tears, ready to pour out any second. “I told you how I felt, and you aren't willing to try?”

 

“There is someone else,” He says, not looking her in the eyes. “Someone who's waited four very long years, someone who I've rejected yet still seemed to mess with my own head, change me. They're who I should be with, I can't force myself to be in a relationship with someone I can't love just because I am scared of myself. I'm sorry.”

 

She shakes, walking slowly towards him before raising her palm high before slapping him across the face.

 

“ you, Luhan, for taking away such an important night to me!” Tiffany yells, grabbing the attention of everyone in the room. Quickly, she moves behind Luhan, grabbing a cup of punch before throwing it at him. She runs out of the room while crying, leaving Luhan soaked and the center of attention.

 

“What happened?” Sehun asked, running up to him.

 

“Nothing of any importance,” Luhan smiled. Sehun frowns slightly, bringing his friend into the bathroom.

 

“Just look at what you did. Stained a perfectly good suit,” Sehun shook his head, wiping at the shirt. “Tell me what happened.”

 

“She tried to kiss me, and I told her I couldn't do it. I said I didn't like her that,” Luhan laughs humorously. “I didn't know she would react that way, though.”

 

“Well, she’s obviously the type that needs to be treated like a princess,” Sehun chuckles. “You know, the kind that will start a riot if they get don't get their way. And that’s exactly what she tried to do.”

 

“I just hope they don't think I'm a bad person.”

 

“Of course not. Everyone knows you're a great person,” Sehun reassures. “I'm doubt one girl’s temper tantrum will change their opinion of you.”

 

“True,” Luhan agrees with a smile. “Who was that girl earlier? I saw you smiling while talking to her.”

 

“Well, I guess she's my friend. Jinah’s boyfriend got sick so she started talking to me. We decided to be together for the prom,” Sehun explained. “She went to the bathroom earlier because–”

 

“Can I have your attention, please? Now, we are to announce the prom king and queen of the year!” A voice said from outside.

 

“Oh my god! They're going to announce them, let's go, Lu!” Sehun said excitedly, grabbing his friend’s hand and tugging him outside.

 

“Why do you care?” Luhan asked with an eyebrow raised.

 

“Because Jinah wanted to win!” He shushed Luhan and stared at the stage where the DJ was previously.

 

“First, the Prom King,” The principle announced. Sehun and Luhan listened closely as well as the rest of the students.

 

“With the most votes we have…” The principle took his time opening the letter, making everyone groan. “Luhan!”

 

Luhan’s eyes grew wide, scanning the crowd of people. Everyone’s eyes were on him.

 

Sehun chuckled from behind him, nudging him slightly. Luhan slowly walked up to the stage, unconsciously trying to hide his messy appearance.

 

Sehun noticed, so he clapped whistling before yelling “Lookin good, Lu!”, causing the students to laugh or agree. The a female student smiled, putting on the cheap plastic crown on Luhan’s head. Everyone applauded before quieting down and waiting for the principle to announce the Prom Queen.

 

“And for the Prom Queen…” The principle opened the letter and smiled. “Im Jinah!”

 

Jinah’s yell could be heard from somewhere in the room. Excitedly, she ran up the stage and stood beside Luhan. The student assistant put the crown gently on Jinah’s head. She was nearly in tears, jumping up and down in happiness.

 

Luhan hugged her, distancing his body, so he didn't stain her dress. She hugged him tightly, crying onto his shoulder. Sehun laughed congratulations both of them from below the stage.

 

Eventually, they both got down, and the last slow song of the night played. Jinah was off somewhere, saying she was going to FaceTime her boyfriend and Luhan and Sehun stood by the wall.

 

“Sehun?” Luhan asked, looking up.

 

“Yes?” Sehun answered, looking back at his friend.

 

Luhan smiled, grabbing sehun’s hand. “Let's dance.”

 

Surprised, Sehun wrapped his arm around Luhan’s waist out of instinct. Luhan let out a soft sigh, smiling softly up at Sehun as they moved to the soft music playing in the room.

 

“I'm sorry,” Luhan suddenly says. Sehun furrows his eyebrows in confusion.

 

“Why are you sorry?”

 

“I don't deserve this crown,” Luhan laughs, ignoring Sehun’s question. With one of his hands, he takes off the plastic crown and places it on Sehun’s head before moving his arms to be at Sehun’s shoulders.

 

“And why do I deserve it?” Sehun chuckles softly, still confused.

 

“Because today, you are a king and deserve the whole world,” Luhan grins. “Ever since you confessed, I've been so confused. I can't stop thinking about my feelings, how that maybe it wouldn't be bad if we were together.

 

“And don't think I didn't notice you messing with me. You aren't as subtle as you think. Randomly deciding to be nice or cuddle or whatever, that hasn't been you until after you confessed,” Luhan laughed.

 

“What are you saying?” Sehun asked in a whisper.

 

“What I'm saying is…” Luhan whispers back. “I think I'm in love with you, Sehun.”

 

Sehun gapes, eyes shining. His eyes begin to burn with tears. He is so overwhelmed that he just doesn't know what to do, whether to cry or smile or just think it's all a joke.

 

“I thought you were straight,” Sehun says, voice cracking.

 

Luhan laughs, “I'm still young. I have a lot of time to figure out.”

 

Sehun smiles, suddenly leaning in and pecking Luhan on the lips. Luhan tenses up, and Sehun panics for a second, thinking that maybe Luhan really doesn't like him or wasn't ready for him.

 

“I… I liked that,” Luhan nods, grinning once again. “That was nice, but pathetic.” Luhan leans in this time, kissing Sehun, but innocently, sweetly. Their lips moved together sloppily. They both knew it was their first kiss. It was new, nervous, yet full of so much love they didn't know they had.

 

Zitao’s sudden cheering ruined the mood. The pulled away from each other, looking right at where Tao stood. Their friend clapped, causing everyone else to cheer along with him.

 

“Congrats, Sehun! I told you to have hope!” Zitao grinned, slapping his friend on the back. Sehun winced, but still thanked his friend.

 

After a short celebration, prom had ended and Sehun and Luhan walked hand in hand to the car with Zitao to go home.

 

“How did Tiffany get home?” Sehun asked Luhan. His new boyfriend–he’ll never get used to calling Luhan that–shrugged looking down on the ground.

 

“Did it rain while we were inside?” Luhan asked, stepping in a puddle.

 

“I guess it did and we didn't hear it over the music,” Sehun shrugged. He stopped along the grass, bending over and picking up a small white flower, petals beaded with raindrops.

 

“It's strange, but I love to look at flowers after it rains. The raindrops on it’s petals make it look nicer,” Sehun said as he observed the flower.

 

“I don’t look at flowers often, but I guess they look pretty after rainfall,” Luhan agreed. Sehun smiled.

 

“Yeah, pretty. Like you.”

 

“I'm not pretty, you cheesy dork,” Luhan hits Sehun’s arm playfully. “I'm handsome.”

 

“You are handsome,” Sehun nodded. “Remember the first time I gave you one of these?” Luhan nodded. Sehun tucked the flower behind Luhan’s ear.

 

“I gave you one of these as a sign of our new friendship. Now, they'll be a sign of our new relationship.”

 

The End.

~*~

 

A/N: 12,691 words and many nights without sleep and here we are! Thank you!! I hope you enjoyed this. Please recommend this to people you know and make sure to upvote and comment.

Hopefully you enjoyed this.
If this has a positive reaction, I'll think of making a sequel!! Thank you again!