Jaein was studying 24/7 for the upcoming midterms with no breaks. She would sometimes skip meals and not sleep in order to use as much time as possible to fit all the little details in that big brain of hers. She didn’t even charge her phone at all so that she wouldn’t be distracted by messages from other people, especially the boys. When she told Kyungsoo that they wouldn’t be in contact for a few weeks because of her studying, her was baffled. He thinks she’s being too harsh on herself. When Kyungsoo saw her walking from the university hospital the other day, she really looked like she overworked herself. He noticed that she probably lost some weight and that the bags under her eyes were getting bigger. Although he knew how hard it was to persuade Jaein to take a break, he will do anything help her escape from all the troublesome work and get some rest.

He knew she would be at library at this time because that’s where she always goes to study on Sundays. It was the only day of the week where not a lot of people came to study. He looked around the cubicles to find her and from the corner of his eyes, he spotted the only occupied cubicle. He casually walked towards her and as he arrived, he shut the book she was reading. Jaein looked up to see who had rudely disturbed her studying and was surprised by the familiar pair of doe eyes.

“What are you doing here?” she asked.

“Busting you out of this boring old place,” he answered with a smirk.

“What? I-

Before she could finish her sentence, Kyungsoo pulled her by the hand and dragged her out of the library; leaving all her books and bag behind.

“Yah! What are you doing?!” she exclaimed as he opened the car door and pushed her inside.

He quickly jogged to the other side of the car and got in.

“We’re taking a small trip. Don’t worry, we’ll be back before tomorrow morning,” he said while starting the car.

“Kyungsoo, I’m not joking. Midterms are in a month and there are classes tomorrow. I can’t be playing around like this,” she said.

“Classes are cancelled tomorrow because of the probable blizzard and you’ve already studied more than enough. I know I probably don’t have the slightest clue to how stressed out you are right now, but you need to take a break. You’re going to self-destruct if you don’t slow down,” he replied.

Jaein stayed quiet for a moment as she took in his words carefully. What he said could be true. She could self-destruct in any minute and that would waste her efforts of studying.

“What about my stuff? I left everything back there,” she asked.

“A friend of mine that lives in your building will bring it to your place later. As long as you have your phone with you, we’re good,” he answered.

“Fine… but can you at least tell me where we’re going?”

“The beach.”

“What? You know I hate the ocean.” 

“It’s not like we’re going to go in it. It’s the middle of winter; I’m not stupid.”

“…But there are waves. And it’s deep. Don’t forget sharks-

“Trust me on this one Jaein-ah.”

And with that, they rode in silence until they reached their destination.

♦♦♦

It was quite a long drive since the beach was quite far from the campus and the traffic was crazy. By the time they reached there, the sun had just set. Kyungsoo parked in the designated parking lot near the beach.

“I’m starving~” Jaein whined as she took off her flats and started stepping on the sand.

“Don’t worry. I’ve got that covered,” Kyungsoo replied, showing her the big basket of food he prepared.

They picked a random spot far from the shoreline and sat on Kyungsoo’s picnic cloth that he brought. He then proceeded to take out a bunch of containers containing a variety of food and also a canteen filled with his infamous soybean-paste soup. He poured the soup in a styrofoam bowl and gave it to her.

“I missed you so much!” Jaein exclaimed to the soup as she took a sip.

Kyungsoo could only chuckle at her adorableness.

“The air tonight is pretty nice. Not too windy,” he said as he took a bite of his kimbap.

“But it’s still cold af. Every part of my body is attached to a heat pack but I’m still freezing,” she replied annoyingly.

Kyungsoo then reached into his basket and took out a huge blanket for both of them to share. He wrapped it around their bodies.

“Better?” he asked.

“A bit,” she mumbled, earning a chuckle. 

“So, what else did you do other than study for the past 2 weeks?”

“Baekho oppa took me to watch Beauty and the Beast. It was really cute.”

Hearing that name again annoyed the crap out of him.

“I thought we promised to watch it together.”

“Well, you were too busy with festival prep so I didn’t want to disturb you like you’re doing to me now.”

“Yah, I’m doing this for you. I’m not ready to send you to an insane asylum yet.”

Jaein rolled her eyes.

“Anyways, is the food up to your standards?” he asked.

“You bet it is. I swear to god I’ve never met someone who can cook this well.”

“I’m happy to cook more often for you if you want.”

“I would love for you to do that but that’s just adding more things to your plate. I’m happy with the usual spontaneous dinners.”

Kyungsoo let out a satisfied chuckle while ruffling her hair.

♦♦♦

After they ate, Kyungsoo packed all the containers back into the basket. They stayed silent for some time while staring at the stars.

“Winter nights are so pretty… I wonder when the first snowfall will be,” Jaein said as she leaned her body to Kyungsoo.

“Maybe tomorrow. Or the next day. Or the next…”

“Well, I hope it isn’t soon. I’m not ready for my body to destroy itself again.”

“Just follow doctor’s orders and you’ll be fine.”

She snuggled closer to him as he wrapped his arm over her waist. He might look normal on the outside, but his insides were twisting and turning. They’ve never been this close before.

“You were right. This is exactly what I needed. A break,” she sighed.

“I’m glad you like it.”

“Soo.”

“Hm?”

“Remember when we had that long talk about our exes in the car?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you think you can ever love another woman ever again after what she did?”

Her question caught him off guard.

“Breaking your trust like that…. How can someone go through it again?” she continued.

“I believe it’s possible for me to love again. I’ll find someone that’s worth the risk. The possible heartache. The endless hurt.” He said as he looked at her.

“Was she worth it?”

“…maybe. She did at some point make me the happiest man on earth. But also the man whose heart was crushed into brittle, broken pieces.”

Jaein looked up at Kyungsoo who was staring at the stars. As hard as he tried to hide it, she saw the tears in his eyes. They didn’t fall, but it was there.

“Someday, you’re going to be that person whose worth the risk. Someone’s going to love and cherish you the way you love and cherish them. Maybe even more.” Her eyes were fixed to him.

“And then you’ll forget her; forget what she did. Because the love and happiness you received from that someone is greater than that painful memory.”

Kyungsoo could only look up. He thought he could hold his tears in. But when the sincerity in her words hit him like a brick, they fell. And when he felt her small warm hand wiping them away, more poured down.  

“I learned that too myself. Thanks to you and the guys. You pulled me away from a lot of heartache. From loneliness. You all shared your joy and love for life with me. And I will always be eternally grateful for that.”  

She sat up and carefully cupped his face with her hands so that he would face her. And she laughed.

“You can do it, Soo. You can find her. She will love you… I know she will.”

They looked into each other’s eyes for what felt like the longest time before something in Jaein took over and pulled his face closer to hers. In a matter of seconds, the gap between them closed. Her lips were on his; kissing them slowly. Kyungsoo was surprised to say the least but kissed her back. He’s been wanting to do this for a while now and couldn’t believe that he was actually kissing her.

When Jaein realized what she was doing, she immediately pulled back. It disappointed him.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to kiss you- I-I was caught up in the moment but- god what did I do?!?” she exclaimed while standing up. Her face was bright red as her heart jumped out of its place.

“Jaein-ah.”

“Please don’t kill me.”

“Song Jaein.”

“I’m really sorry!”

He couldn’t take it anymore. Kyungsoo pulled her down and kissed her again. This time it was her that was surprised. It took her a couple seconds before eventually kissing him back.

When both pulled back, their cheeks were flushed. They stayed seated for a couple of minutes, not brave enough to look each other in the eye. Jaein suddenly stood up and let out a cough.

“I-I think we should get going. The weather’s going to get colder,” she said as she put the containers back in the basket.

Kyungsoo hummed a response before getting up as well and folding the blankets.

♦♦♦

The ride back to campus was awfully quiet and awkward. Although his eyes were fixed on the road, his mind was somewhere far away. He kept repeating the scene of them kissing in his head. He was happy, but also anxious. When he stole a glimpse of her, he saw her looking out the window while her fingers were fidgeting with the hem of her coat. She’s nervous he thought to himself. On the other hand, Jaein couldn’t calm her rapid heartbeat. She thought about how she would face him casually after this. Did he even enjoy the kiss? Because she definitely did. He did kiss her back… so he liked it right? Even if he didn’t, she still wanted them to be able to hang freely with each other. What if the kiss ruined their friendship?

As they arrived, Kyungsoo walked her back silently to her dorm before bidding an awkward goodnight. Both have a lot of thinking to do that night.