The first few hours after Minho left were agonizing, you sobbed silently even though every muscle in your body was constricting with the desire to belt out piercing screams. Your chest heaved and your lungs ached, but you refused to make any noise but the strangled gasps you sounded whenever you were forced to breathe. Every bone in your body hurt, every inch of skin felt rough and coarse and you could barely exert enough strength to keep yourself from collapsing into a pathetic heap of nothing. You didn't know whether to just pass out on your bed and pray that the next day was better or to sit on your bed with wide eyes while you tried to make sense of the horrific pain you were feeling.

Jonghyun, the man you loved, was with someone else and--knowing that you were in love with him--knowingly ignored you despite claiming to be your friend. All the time you'd spent loving him, being near him, comforting him in any way that you could; it was like it meant nothing.

Minho... Minho... He was always there when you needed him; without knowing it, he'd become the person you clung to whenever you couldn't hold yourself--your rock. You'd never ventured into those longing gazes or explored those lingering touches, you chose to blissfully ignore every obvious sign in an attempt to... Yo--You're not even sure what you'd been trying to accomplish when you'd compelled yourself to become completely obtuse to everything going on.

But he was right... you'd just stood there looking past him and focusing all of your attention on Jonghyun, never bothering to even try to see him...

"[Your Name]?" You pull your eyes together tight as your name is repeated a few more times, you slowly allow your lashes to fluttered before you glanced up to see the sympathetic face of Lee Jinki--or, as he was famously known, Onew; you'd always mentioned preferring Onew since it sounded like a pet name, he always laughed at you for it--staring down at you. You hadn't realized that you'd fallen asleep at any point last night, you must've finally collapsed from all of the energy you'd been exerting through sobbing like a baby.

"... Onew?" You carefully raised your head up so that you could see him clearer, your voice sounding so hoarse that you almost didn't recognize it as your own. The man before you smiles down with one of the brightest grins that you've ever seen, kneeling down beside your bed and your hair before he let out a sigh.

"You've caused a lot of trouble, missy." You gave Onew a weak hearted smile before tears started to build up behind your eyes, Onew begins to murmur comforting words as he brushes your hair with his fingers more and more. "No, no, no, don't cry. It's alright."

"I caused everyone so many problems Onew... so many problems." You started to feel even more defeated than you had previously, you can tell by the look on Onew's face that he'd regretted the earlier joke he'd attempted to make.

"I was honestly just trying to lighten the mood [Your Name], I wasn't really upset..."

"Aren't you? Especially for how I blatantly ignored Minho and his feeling; or for the way I talked to Jonghyun when I got mad..."

"I don't really blame you for either of those, especially the first one." Onew moved his head to rest his chin on the edge of your bed as he moved his hands through your hair gently. "You were always looking at Jonghyun, there was no way you'd notice how Minho was looking at you."

"I could've saved us both a lot of trouble if I had."

"You still would've loved Jonghyun." Your heart pounded painfully as you began thinking of the man you indeed loved, a forlorn expression lighting your eyes and a painful frown set over your face. "Nothing short of what happened yesterday would've convinced you to ever stop."

"I didn't want to." You can hear the emotion in your voice, the heady texture that lined your words as tears started pricking the back of your eyes. "And the pathetic thing is... I still don't." You let out a muffled sob as Onew's face falls into a look of deep anguish as tears build up and spill over.

"What's wrong with me Onew?"

"Nothing is wrong with you." Onew's hand found perchance in the hair at the base of your scalp, weaving in and cradling your head as he looked into your eyes with sympathy. "You love someone, you can't help how you feel."

"Is Minho feeling like this right now?" Onew starts your hair again with his eyes focused on your neck, you begin to assume that he didn't hear you.

A faint "Yes." hits your eardrums as Onew purses his lips and blinks his eyes against the despair that he felt for his friend. Tears welled up in your eyes as Onew tried to give you a reassuring smile.

"Do you think he hates me for how I treated him?" Onew placed his hand on the side of your face as the tears poured down your cheeks.

"I think... the one thing he wants most... is to hate you." You close your eyes tight against the overwhelming pain that shot through your chest. "But he already knows that he never could."