I saw Junsu's hand patting my hyung's back. I couldn't stay quiet.

 

So, I push the door open...

 

The door knocked the wall next to it. The sudden ruckus got immediately their attention. They turned their head to look at me. His hands was still on his back. I know Taeyang, Top or even Dae already had more skinship with GD and it's okay but with him I couldn't stand seeing this at all.

Few second had pass and no one have said a thing. I haven't thought of what I should say when I open the door. GD was the first one to broke the silence.

 

“Seun...Seungri, what are you doing here?”

 

Why is he stuttering? Why is he red as if I caught him red-handed in a intimate moment? Were they dating in secret or something?

“Well, a... TOP and Dae kicked me out. So I came here... To practice and stuff.”

 

I saw Junsu eyeing me from head to toes, he probably didn't buy my half lies.

 

The room went silent again and their stares were still on me. As if they were waiting for me to go.

 

“Well, it's getting late I better go back to my dorm. I'll call you later Jiyong.” Junsu said with a big smile on his face before leaving. Hyung, on the other hand, didn't look happy at all, he even looked worried.

 

Before, he passed me by, Junsu put his hand on my shoulder and smile at me.

 

“Bye Seungri.”

 

I didn't want to answer him so I stay silent.

 

GD had put his attention back on the screen that was in front of him. I walked closer to him.

“Ah... Seungri, I still can't go out with you, I have to work on a song, maybe next time.”

“Oh, okay...” I saw an unfamiliar object on the chair where Junsu have sat. I point it out to Jiyong.

 

“Oh no, Junsu forgot in Iphone!”

“I'll gave him back.” I took the Iphone and ran after Junsu. It was maybe my only chance to talk one on one with him.

 

He wasn't really far. I think he notice he forgot his phone and when back here.

 

“Junsu-ssi, you forgot your phone in the studio.”

 

“Oh thank you, Seungri! I thought I lost it for a minute."

 

He took it and was about to walk away when I grab his arms.

 

“Wait, I want to ask you something.”

 

“What is it?”

 

I look around, there were too many people around us to ask my question here.

 

“Can we get somewhere more private before?”

 

“Euh okay, if you want to. I know a small coffee shop next to the street over there.”

 

“Okay perfect.”

 

The shop really near the studio. It was my first time there. It looked like a chic and high class coffee shop, there weren't a lot of people inside, probably because of the expensive price of the coffee. The light weren't really strong and the music was low. The ambiance was really relaxing yet I my heart was still beating fast. It was a question that needed to be ask, however, I was still scared it would bring me embarrassment.

We sat down in a dark corner. I try to think of good ways to formulate my question but they all sound like I was a jealous boyfriend. Meanwhile, he ordered two cappuccinos.

 

“I'm glad Jiyong showed me this Café, the service is very good and the coffee excellent. What do you think about this place.”

“It's my first time here.”

“Jiyong never brought you here?”

 

“No...”

 

“Oh, really I thought he liked this place so much that he would have bring at least his band members here. I guess he just wanted to show it to me. I'm glad I became close again with Jiyong, I had forgotten how nice it was to spend time with him.”

 

He said with a big smirk on my face. He just had to show off is new close friendship with Jiyong. Before it was with me that hyung liked to visit new places. It was with me that he was spend his free time with. And now he don't even bother going out with me. I want things to go back like thing was before. Junsu waved his hand in front of my face to bring me back to reality.

“ So what was your question?”

 

My hands felt like they were glue together, I didn't dare look at him in the eyes. His answer could change everything in my relationship with Jiyong.

“Well, I don't know how to ask it correctly. Well do you ... Do you have feeling for Jiyong hyung?”

 

His eyes went big in surprise and his annoying smile slowly came back on his face.

“To have feeling for him, like for a lover?”

 

I wish I could erase that ugly grin of his. I try to stay I calm as possible but I miserably failed at it. I was getting too angry to stay calm.

 

“Y...yes, like for a lover.”

“Why are you asking? Would you mind if I was your hyung's boyfriend?”

 

My suddenly started to beat fast, too fast. My whole chest was hurting. It was like my heart had grew too big for my chest and was now crushing my lungs. Pushing all air out of my body.

 

“S-so you're really d-dating?”

 

“Yes.”

 

All I could do was to nodded and hold back the tears. I was too late and now I lost all chance of being with him.

“Please, take care of him.” I whispered and go up. Before I could leave something had caught my arms and pulled me back to my seat.

 

He laugh loudly, we got the attention of some others customers. My mouth was stuck open. I wanted to talk more but no words would come out.

 

“Hahaa, you and Jiyong are hilarious. You two act like teenage school girls.” He facepalm himself while laughing.

 

I couldn’t understand what he was talking about so I stayed silent.

 

“Seungri” he continued “ Don't worry about me, I only like him as a friend, we are not dating. Sorry if I gave you a fright, I wanted to test your reaction. If you care that much about him you should go tell him. I'm sure he would be please to hear that.”

My brain didn't understand directly what he just had told me.

 

“So you guys aren't dating?”

 

“Nope, he's all yours.”

 

“M-mine???”

 

“Well, yes if you confess to him.”

 

I thought he was a serious guy but he was playing with me along. I can help to feel relief about it. I still had a chance with my hyung.

 

“I'm sure he's still in the studio alone. Go talk to him but first you should wipe your tears.”

 

I didn't even notice when I started crying. The more I was try to get rid of them the more new tears were forming.

 

The waitress came with our cappuccinos at that time, Junsu paid for them. I was a bit embarrass that she saw me crying like that but I couldn't care less right now. I was happy.

 

He got up, sat next to me and helped me wipe my tears away. I hate looking weak in front of people especially in front of people that I don't really know.

“I'm really sorry about this but I had to me sure of your feelings for him. I'm sorry for the way I was acting. I'm not that annoying in real life. Go tell him now about your feelings, I'm serious.”

“But what if he...”

 

“Trust me, tell him.”

 

He walked away just like that.

 

 

.........

 

Junsu took out his phone as soon as he was out the coffee shop.

“Jiyong, I got a good news for you and for me.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I saw Seungri and we talked a little.”

“WHAT DID YOU TELL HIM?”

“Relax, the good news is you won't have to whine to me about being scared to tell your feelings to a certain panda. No more pretending you're seeing me to talk about music when in reality all you talk about is HIM. He going to come see you in the studio soon to talk about it. Good luck! ”

“ He's WHAT? Junsu? ...”

 

“...”

 

“JunSU?”

“...”

 

“He hang up on me! Maybe I got time to get out before Seungri arrive.”

 

GD took back in wallet and phone in his pocket and took his coat on his arm. He turned to the door knob the find his crush behind the door

 

.......

 

I was, for the second time that day, standing in front of the door the studio. I got too scared to open it but it opened by itself.

Right in front of me was now the man I love. My heart started to beat fast again and my throat was dry too.

Neither of us wanted to talk first, neither of us knew what to say. The ambiance was very awkward between us.

 

He broke the silence first.

 

“So, you found I guess since he called me. He told me you were coming back.”

 

“Yes, I found him... Why do you have all your stuff with you? You're leaving?”

 

He sighed “Aaaah, no. I was just about to ... wait for you at the front door on the studio before going back to dorm.”

I don't know why but it really sounded like a lie.

 

“Okay but before can I talk to you.”

 

“Ehm, okay.”

 

I could see him getting nervous. I wasn't sure if I should confess anymore, maybe Junsu was wrong and Jiyong wouldn't like to know my feelings for him. Maybe he don't want to know that for me he's not just some hyung but he was my hyung. The only man I wish could be mine.

 

“Ha haha.” I try to laugh it off but it sounded very fake. “Forget it. I don't think you will like it. We can just go back to the dorm now.” I was about to turn around and hide my feelings again. But he grip me by the arm and didn't missed to see the sad and hurt expression on my face.

 

“Seungri, tell me.” His voice was calm and honest like when we used to spend time together.

 

“ I like you... a lot.”

 

“What?”

“I think my falling for you.”

 

He roughly spin me around to make me face him. He look at me directly in the eyes.

 

“Are you serious. Don't joke with that stuff.”

 

At first, I got scared a little by his reaction but when I nodded and felt his lips on mine my mind went blank.

He threw his coat far away on the floor and putted his hand on my hips. I putted my arms around his neck to close all the useless space between us.

 

He broke the kiss and lean his head back.

“Seungri, I love you.”

 

“Then why did you spend all the time with Junsu and not me?”

“Well, I got scared to fall more in love with you but that you wouldn't feel the same way as me, so I spend most of the time talking about you to him.”

“So you don't love him, right?”

“You're the only panda in my heart.”




A/N: Sorry to the late update of this story, I have no good reason. It vacation time and I'm lazy. I hope you guys like this story. It's my first bigbang fanfic so I hope I didn't screw it up. Please comment a lot and give me feedbacks.  :D