Junhwe thinks he lost about 5 pounds for the last week because of sleepless nights, headaches and loss of appetite. Really, if this is what “being in love” is like, he’d rather be emotionless forever.

Okay, that’s not true. At least, not with the being emotionless part and maybe the 5 pounds weight loss (he hasn’t checked yet).

The thing is, despite all of the things he had enumerated, he doesn’t want this thing he’s experiencing for the first time to disappear. It’s a weird mixture of excitement, fear and other emotions in between and it’s nothing like he had felt before. Seriously. He had crushes and had liked the 3 people he went out with before, but with Kim Donghyuk it’s just...

At first he thought he’s just caught in the moment. As soon as he and Hanbin exited the auditorium, he was already forcing logic to come back to him, spewing reasons in his head on why he didn’t just fall for the guy he’s been making fun of in the class he hates.

It’s just the stage lights, the dance steps, the music. Maybe the bleached hair and the white clothes as well because no one can deny Kim Donghyuk was literally glowing there. Surely it’s just that, he thought. He’ll just sleep right through it and when he wakes up, he’ll be back to normal.

Yeah, he didn’t. He was not able to return to normal because Kim Donghyuk had haunted him even in his dreams.

In desperation, he invited Bobby, Yunhyeong and Chanwoo for a game of basketball after eating breakfast. Normally, he was the one being invited because he’d rather sleep or watch movies but he knows movies would just remind him of that night. Basketball should do the trick.

It did. Bobby was making fun of his failed lay-ups, Yunhyeong-hyung was joking that his height’s a waste, and Chanwoo tried adding oil to the fire by purposely doing perfect lay-ups before offering to teach him with his deceptive smile. Such wonderful combination, those three, and in no time, Kim Donghyuk was blasted out of his brain in favor of proving himself.

Then fate decided to play him again because while they’re chilling by the bleachers eating junk food and carbonated drinks, a flash of bleached hair caught the corner of his eye. Like an automatic response, he glanced towards the gym doors to see the source of his peril himself walking by. Junhwe cursed once, then twice when a prof just has to talk with Kim Donghyuk in his peripheral vision.

It’s like fate is telling him he’s not allowed to forget the dude, and make him realize what he’s feeling is not a one-time thing. Kim Donghyuk is back to his Harry Potter glasses, his oversized top, and his nerdy gestures but instead of feeling annoyance or the usual urge to mock him, all Junhwe felt was the strong beating of his heart along with all the things he felt during the showcase night – in the same magnitude. Then when Kim Donghyuk smiles that smile that should be disgusting for him, there was none of the annoyance he should be feeling.

He had to fake having a stomachache just so his two hyungs and Chanwoo won’t ask questions when he wanted to bolt out of the gym as soon as Kim Donghyuk’s gone. The clincher was when he looked at himself in the mirror the moment he stepped inside the men’s bathroom. He had this stupid grin on his face he didn’t realize he had, and his stomach is doing the flip-floppy thing he only felt during middle school - when he had this huge crush on a girl who rejected him. This time, with Kim Donghyuk, it’s much more intense. That’s when Junhwe can’t deny it anymore.

But he ed up. Big time.

Just when he decided to talk to Donghyuk (for the first time, after weeks. It was nerve-racking.), he finds out that Donghyuk actually knew about him making mocking faces. Maybe ever since the first day. Junhwe had never been so embarrassed before that moment.

He tried to save himself after. It’s not like Donghyuk knew he’s specifically mocking him right? He only knew he’s making faces and that’s it. He also thought of this brilliant plan of snatching one of Hanbin’s Lee Hayi-inspired songs and use it as a sacrifice so he could have a legitimate reason to talk to Donghyuk. They’re club mates so they should know each other, and there’s no way Lee Hayi wouldn’t like a song made by Hanbin. His friend is a musical genius even if most of the time he’s just an awkward pabo.

But it looks like it’s no use. He shouldn’t have lied based on his careless assumption because the look Donghyuk gave him screamed he knew all along. At this point, he can’t be relieved even if Donghyuk accepted the cd case. What if Donghyuk thinks he’s a total jerk and just throws it away?

“.”

The hairs on his neck rose when Jinhwan blew air on his ear. He cupped his ear in alarm then glared at their mat-hyung.

“What the hell?”

“You’ve been spacing out for 5 minutes straight. Yunhyeong’s literally waving his hand on your face but you’re not responding.” Jinhwan answers with an amused tone before popping back the lollipop he holds in his mouth.

“I…was thinking.” Junhwe lamely retorts. He inwardly cringes at himself.

“Huh.”

“I’m not joking hyung. I’m thinking about my assignments and stuff.”

That’s a mistake because instantly, the rest of the gang aside from Hanbin had stopped what they were doing and gives him that look that says they won’t let him off unless he tells them. Bobby and Chanwoo even paused their game just to turn around and shuffle nearer to him, Jinhwan and Yunhyeong so they’re all gathered in a circle.

Junhwe facepalms. “What is this, a pajama party?”

“It could be, if Hanbin don’t show up anytime soon.” Yunhyeong says before nudging him. “Come on, spill it out. Us hyungs will listen.”

“And the maknae will cheer for you.” Chanwoo adds as if that would help. Junhwe rolls his eyes at him.

“Can’t I have thoughts just to myself?”

“Not in this group, champ.” Bobby quickly answers as he wraps an arm around Yunhyeong’s shoulder. “No secrets. That’s our bro code.”

“I don’t remember signing any papers on that.”

“You’re purposely making this difficult.” Jinhwan glares at him and pinches his arm quite painfully. “Come on.”

“Ouch! Fine!”

Junhwe rolls his eyes again when all of them grinned excitedly. Sheesh. He clears his throat and thinks for a moment. He doesn’t have to reveal everything right?

“So, I have this friend—“

“Hold on.” Bobby cuts in with a hand gesturing stop. The rest giggles. “As far as we know, all your friends are present here except for Hanbin. No need for the anonymity.”

“I have other friends, Kimbab.” No he doesn’t. He tries to maintain his poker face. “Will you stop interrupting me now and let me speak?”

Yunhyeong elbows Bobby at that, instantly shutting him up.

“Like I said, the reason why I’m spacing out is because I have this friend who confided in me about his problem. He, uhh, he thinks he’s in love with this other guy but he screwed up so now he thinks he doesn’t have a chance.”

Junhwe watches his friends cautiously as they glance at each other, like sending mental messages. Jinhwan clears his throat to get his attention.

“Okay, that’s rather vague. First, why did your friend screw up? Did he do something bad?”

“Uhh…” Junhwe hesitates. “He made faces at the guy during class. He thought the guy didn’t know so he lied about it but he found out the guy already knew from the start.”

Jinhwan and Yunhyeong cringes at him while Bobby and Chanwoo look like they’re holding back their laughs.

Bobby coughs a couple of times. “Wait, hold on. I’m kinda confused. In the first place, why is your friend even making faces at the guy when he’s in love with him? Who is this mysterious love interest anyway?”

“A classmate of his.” Junhwe answers with finality. He’s not gonna tell them it’s Kim Donghyuk. “And he’s mocking the guy because he kind of hated him at first.”

The others give him a dumbfounded look.

“What.”

Junhwe scratches his head while avoiding their gazes. Yeah, he knows how messy the situation is. “Err… my friend finds the guy annoying at first because he hates the subject and the guy is all nerdy about it—“

“Ooh, so the guy’s a nerd. That’s interesting. Got it.” Bobby cut in again with a nod and a grin.

. But it’s not like Donghyuk’s the only nerd in the whole campus right? Junhwe glares at his hyung.

“Like I said, friend A hated the guy for that, but then he saw the guy in a different light one day and he just kind of…fell in love on the spot.”

Yunhyeong suddenly squeals and scoots closer to Bobby. Jinhwan squeals as well and Chanwoo is laughing. The most annoying hyung tops that off by suggestively wriggling his eyebrows at him. Junhwe can only blush and glare.

“That’s just like in the movies.” Yunhyeong says, purposely breathing out his words as if it could add a dramatic effect. Junhwe groans in irritation.

“Whatever, so that’s what happened. Friend A tried talking to the guy but he screwed up. Now he doesn’t know what to do.”

There’s a moment of silence after he said that, maybe because they felt his anxiety from his words. He could see all of them thinking, even Chanwoo.

“Does Friend A really like the guy?” Bobby says finally.

“I just told you Friend A’s in love—

“Yeah, but you said he thinks he’s in love with him.” The others nod at that.

“What exactly does Friend A feel about him? Does he want to have ?”

“What?” Junhwe flushes red while his mouth hanged open. “What kind of question is that?!”

Bobby isn’t fazed. “It’s a serious question. I want to know if Friend A just wants to get laid, or if it’s something beyond that. We can’t help Friend A if we don’t know the extent of his feelings.”

Ah. Junhwe doesn’t want to admit it, but it does make sense. He himself knows love and lust are not the same. Fortunately for him, he knows the difference.

“It’s beyond that, he thinks.” He answers carefully. “Getting laid is not the first thing in his mind. He…he wants to get to know the guy. Be friends, prove that he’s not a jerk, then if the guy likes him enough, be more than that, if the guy wants to. Friend A won’t force him of course. But being together…that’s the most ideal outcome.”

He scratches his head in slight doubt. “Look, I think you’re right. Friend A’s not even sure if he’s really in love. It’s the first time he feels something like it, so...”

“I think it’s safe to say that it’s love.” Yunhyeong says with a smile. “You described almost exactly how Jiwon is like to me.”

Bobby grins then squeezes Yunhyeong to him. “Yeah. But you’re like that too, you know. We’ve both been idiots at first.”

Chanwoo coughs. “Ahem. I believe this is about Friend A? Looks like we’re getting out of topic here.”

Junhwe raises a thumbs-up at their maknae for his interruption. Jinhwan grins while Bobby pulls away from his boyfriend a bit, a small pout on his face.

“I miss the days when Chanwoo is this shy and cute kid. But anyway, please tell Friend A this,”

Junhwe knows that sudden shift of tone so he holds back a sassy retort. Bobby might seem happy-go-lucky but he has the most depth among his friends. He’s even deeper than Jinhwan.

“He screwed up, but that doesn’t mean it’s too late. Since Friend A’s feelings seem sincere, he can start again. If the guy hates him he would have dropped out of the class anyway. Friend A should try befriending him but this time, he has to be honest.”

Jinhwan nods and pats Junhwe on the back. “That’s the most important part. Tell your friend, okay?”

Junhwe gulps. It sounds like a simple thing but he knows it’s far from that. It might just be the most difficult thing to do since Friend A is afraid as well, but his hyungs have spoken so he won’t spell doom on himself yet. He’s already taken the first step with Hanbin’s cd but if that fails, he’ll try again.

“What the hell? Why are you guys inside my apartment?!”

The conversation officially ends with the angry yell of Hanbin as soon as he enters the studio unit. Yunhyeong starts cackling while Bobby just stands up and raises his arms for a hug. Hanbin avoids him.

“Yo, my brother. You’ve been spending so much time in the music rooms so we decided to surprise you here.”

“How the hell did you guys even get in here?!”

Junhwe sighs. “You hide your spare keys under your mom’s flower pot outside, right?”

“…How did you know that?”

His friends are annoying. One is a clueless musical genius, another is a weird mixture of a hiphop tryhard and a sage, the other is too kind for his own good, another one is the devil in disguise, and the last one looks harmless but can be an iron fist when he needs to. Yet despite all that, Junhwe is sure as hell he won’t even survive university this long if he doesn’t have them.

“Have you guys seen that song Junhwe recorded with me last week? I’ve been looking for it since yesterday.” Hanbin asks as he goes through stacks of cds on his desk. Junhwe pretends not to hear, while Jinhwan comments about poor organization of things.

Sorry Hanbin, Junhwe apologizes in his head. He can’t say anything until he gets a response from Donghyuk. He’s doing it for Hanbin’s own good anyway. Nothing will happen as long as they both don’t do something about their dilemmas.

♦♦♦

“Hey, that’s rare.” Jinhwan remarks during lunch break as he gestures somewhere among the tables. The whole gang is eating and hanging out in their usual place at the campus cafeteria.

“He’s usually cooped inside the labs even during lunch breaks.”

“Did you try inviting him with us hyung? I’m always curious about him.”

“I did. But he has this big pile of research papers even in the Admin Office so even if he wants to, he can’t, so this is really surprising.”

Junhwe’s not interested so he didn’t look at whatever Jinhwan his friends are talking about. He takes another bite out of his burger and ponders whether he should ask Kim Donghyuk about the cd case later in class.

“Oh! Donghyuk saw us.”

He almost spits out the burger bite he’s munching. Covering his mouth, he quickly gulps the food and stealthily looks at where his friends are glancing at. Their mat-hyung was even waving his arm up.

. It’s really Kim Donghyuk. He’s just about done at the sandwich station, smiling at them and waving back his arm at Jinhwan. He takes a paper bag handed to him by the store lady before turning to walk towards them.

Junhwe’s mind sort of explodes with panic.

WhyIsHeComingHereWhyDoMyFriendsKnowHimHowDoIActThatShirtLooksGoodOnHimSoPrettyWaitWhatSomeoneHelpMe.

Jinhwan grins as soon as Donghyuk arrives at their table. The others had polite smiles on their faces while Junhwe just sits there like