“Hyung I absolutely cannot swallow another bite.” Jimin huffed turning his face away from the food offered to him by Jin.

"Jimin you have to eat." Namjoon supplied helpfully hiding a mischievous smirk behind his hand.

"Hyung I am eating just fine. Why am I being fed like-like a baby?" Jimin whined.

"Better you than me. I am glad Jin has someone new to coddle." Namjoon whispered. Jimin gave him a scandalized look.

"Did you forget that you fainted just a week ago? Because I didn't. I don’t want a repeat of that incident." Jin said softly holding Jimin's hand in his. "None of us do." Namjoon put an arm around Jimin's shoulders. Jimin pouted but resigned to his fate. "If I eat thrice a day in front of you will you stop forcing food down my throat at random times?"

"Sure." Jin nodded.

It had been a week since Jimin fainted in the practice room not because of lack of food or dehydration or over exertion. Jimin fainted because a piece of his past-the past he left behind the past which he tried as he might, he couldn’t forget-stood in front of him looking the better stronger version of himself with no hint of recognition on his face and Jimin was yet again hit by the sad reality that Jungkook doesn’t remember him. More like he couldn't. Jimin still remembered the doctor's words his voice still echoing in his ears branding his brain with words he wished were false.

Jungkook has selective amnesia. He doesn't remember some parts about his life.

OOOO

Jimin was waiting outside the operation theater Jungkook was being treated in. He was pacing and praying with all his might for Jungkook to be alright for him to survive this ordeal. Jimin was scared out of his wits every time he closed his eyes and the scene of Jungkook getting hit by that car replayed behind his closed lids as if in slow motion. When he opened them, his eyes were already swimming and his vision already blurry with unshed tears. He was told they had already informed Jungkook’s mother and she was on the way but at that moment Jimin couldn’t care less. All he could think about was how Jungkook was inside fighting for his life and he wished he could lend him his strength to hang on. Hang on and fight.

“Oh! You are still here?” A clipped voice said from behind Jimin and he tensed because he could never forget that voice. That cold, incriminating tone. Mrs. Jeon had arrived.

“Of course I am. It’s my boyfriend who’s in there.” Jimin said as politely as he could but inside he was fuming.

“Ahh. I just thought you would be somewhere drowning in guilt by now.” She said disdain evident in her voice. “I don’t under-” Jimin started to say but was cut off. “Please don’t play innocent in front of me. You think I am not aware that you are reason why he is in this state? You think I don’t know that it’s because of you my son-my only son is fighting for his life as we speak? And still you have the audacity to stand in front of me being all concerned when you are the one who is responsible?” she said all this with her composure intact, her tone dripping ice. It didn’t look like he was talking to a mother. Jimin had his head down tears falling on the tiles beneath because he knew-he knew that what she was saying was true. It was his fault that Jungkook-his Jungkook was like this. His fault indeed. Jimin was outright sobbing and Mrs. Jeon made a sound of disgust. “Pathetic.”

______

Jimin was all out of tears sitting in one of the chairs in the waiting room. As soon as the door to the operating room opened he was on his feet rushing towards the doctor inquiring about Jungkook. “He is fine, the surgery went well. Just a couple of fractures and a broken rib. Nothing time couldn’t heal.” Jimin sighed in relief the outcome of the accident was better than what he imagined. “But there’s one thing you should know-” this time the doctor was addressing Mrs. Jeon “-Jungkook suffered a head injury so we don’t know the extent of damage the accident may have caused his brain until he regains consciousness.” With that said he excused himself.

Jimin sank down in one of the chairs thinking about what the doctor told him and the next thing he knew he was being shook awake by someone he assumed was a bodyguard judging by his uniform. “You can leave now.” It was Mrs. Jeon who addressed him though. “I am not going anywhere and you cannot make me.” Jimin said in a tired voice. “You have no right to be here.” She was glaring at him. “I am his boyfriend I have every right.” Jimin said standing. Jimin was expecting her to argue to tell him he was worthless what he was not expecting was her laughing right in his face. He thought for a second she finally lost her mind, just for a second. “Boyfriend you say? For that he has to actually remember you."

“What are you talking about?” Jimin whispered his heart pounding.

“Why don’t you go and ask Dr. Kang?” She said mirth shining in her eyes. Her expression scared Jimin. “What-” She cut him off and throwing “Run along Jimin” behind her shoulder. Jimin ran  like he has never before, his feet pounding on the hospital floor totally disregarding the ‘no running’ policy of the hospital with only one thing on his mind please, please let him remember me as he reached the door with Dr. Kang on the name  plate he knocked twice. He went in as soon as he was given the permission to enter.

“Oh Jimin! What can I do for you?” He said and motioned for Jimin to take a seat. “Dr. Kang how is Jungkook?” Jimin remained standing too wound up to actually stay still. “I told you Jimin-”

“I don’t mean physically.” Jimin explained. “You said you'll know the extent of damage the accident did on his mental wellbeing after he regained consciousness. He is awake now isn't he?” At his nod Jimin asked the question that he had been dreading the most. “What did you find out?” Dr. Kang looked at Jimin silently like he was thinking hard about something. He removed his glasses and sighed. “Jimin I want you to sit here and listen to me. How long have you two been together?” Jimin was confused by the question but he answered anyway. “We have known each other for 2 years but it’s only been a year since we started dating but why are you asking me that?” Jimin asked as he took the offered seat, his nose all scrunched up.

“Jimin, Jungkook has selective amnesia.” Dr. Kang finally revealed. Jimin swore his heart stopped for a moment. “You mean…” Jimin didn’t want to complete that sentence. “Usually in accident cases the patient loses memory of that accident, sometimes never remembering the details but it’s alright even considered normal since the brain doesn’t want to relive the memory which it heavily associates with pain but, Jungkook's case is slightly different.” Dr. Kang said as he adjusted his glasses. “What do you mean?” Jimin managed to get the words out through the lump lodged in his throat.

“Jungkook along with the events of his accident lost a chunk of his memory. He doesn’t remember some parts of his life.” Dr. Kang said. “How much did he lose?” Jimin held his breath as he waited for the answer. He was trying hard to control himself as he was already at the edge was dangling by a small thread. “The last thing he remembers is his 8th grade graduation.” Dr. Kang whispered his voice soft like he knew the effect his words would have and tried to somehow soften the impact. “I am sorry Jimin but Jungkook, he doesn’t remember you.”  

And that was it. The tears he thought he cried all out somehow still flowed out of his eyes. "Dr. Kang isn't there a way to make him remember like revisiting old memories?” Jimin sniffled. At that Dr. Kang looked at Jimin with pity and Jimin knew that look. It was the same look people used to give him when they found out his parents died. “Jimin I wished I didn’t have to tell you this but Jungkook could suffer a brain hemorrhage if he is forced to relive his memories. It could be fatal.” Dr. Kang fiddled with his hands not looking Jimin in the eye as he delivered the final blow. “What -what are you saying?” Jimin was full out sobbing at this point. “Jimin he suffered a trauma to his head it’s a miracle he still has a working brain after the accident of that magnitude his mental stability is weak though, too many memories and he could go insane or die.” “I can never tell him about us? He will never know about us?” Jimin blubbered. “Jimin I am sorry.” Dr. Kang passed him the tissue box. Jimin wiped his tears but others took their place immediately. He was already teetering at the edge but now he fell. He fell straight into a dark abyss that he welcomed as it numbed the pain.

_____

Jimin woke up lying in a bed in what looked to be hospital room. “What am I doing here?” Jimin asked rubbing his eyes. “You fainted.” Dr. Kang’s voice answered Jimin and it all came back. Jungkook’s accident. Dr. Kang’s words. Jimin let himself fall back on the bed and curled up in a ball. His chest was hurting a lot. It was like there was a gaping hole where his heart was supposed to be. Jimin continued sobbing his tears still somehow flowing. There was a knock at the door and in came Jungkook’s mother uninvited. Dr. Kang excused himself.

“Mrs. Jeon?” Jimin said his voice hoarse. “He told you everything, didn’t he? I am so happy to finally have my son back.” Her words were taunting. “How can you be so heartless? How can you enjoy someone’s misery?” Jimin said in a wobbly voice. “Listen here Park Jimin. Jungkook forgot about you so it’s better if you do too. There's nothing holding you to him anymore. He doesn’t love you anymore. He could finally be happy without you dragging him down.” Her words were like a stab to Jimin’s heart. Each word was driving the knife deeper. “I suggest you leave here and start your and life anew. Here” she handed him a blank cheque yet again “for your travel and moving expenses just don’t show your face again. I won’t be so generous the next time.” She went to the door turned around and said “Leave Jimin. Let him live how he was supposed to.” And with that she was gone leaving Jimin a mess.

Somewhere in the hospital a conversation was taking place not meant for sneaky ears or prying eyes. “You did your part I'll do mine. From tomorrow you'll be the head surgeon of this hospital.” “Madam Jeon. Thank you.”

“No Dr. Kang. Thank you.”

“Madam what you did isn’t it harsh? Jungkook can actually get his memories back if he is reminded of those with no harm to his brain or life.”

“I don’t want him to remember those. That’s why I asked you to lie to Jimin.”

“But isn’t it cruel to separate them like this?”

“You shouldn’t poke your nose where it doesn’t belong.”

“I am sorry Madam.”

Jimin woke up the next morning his eyes puffy but his mind clear. He finally made a decision. There was just one thing that needed to be done.

“What brings you here?” Mrs. Jeon said as she descended the staircase in the Jeon residence. “Mrs. Jeon I am leaving Busan.” Jimin said standing in the same room where he was offered money to leave Jungkook. Where he refused to leave Jungkook’s side. Ironic isn’t it to be back there? “I knew you'll make the right decision.” Mrs. Jeon said and there was joy lacing her voice with a hint of relief. “Let me make one thing clear though.” At her questioning frown Jimin continued. “I may be leaving Busan but not because you asked me. I am leaving because it’s for Jungkook's wellbeing I am doing it for him not for you.” Jimin said tightening his hands in fists at his sides. “And Mrs. Jeon I told before and I'll tell you again my love for your son is not some cheap thing that it can be bought off. Here I don’t need this.” Jimin placed the cheque she gave him in the hospital on the coffee table. “I just have one request though.” Mrs. Jeon lifted a perfectly manicured eyebrow. “Can I see him one last time? Can I at least say goodbye?” Jimin continued before Jungkook’s mother could protest. “I promise I'll be quiet. Let me see him one last time. Please.” Jimin pleaded.

“Ok.”

______

Jimin quietly opened the door to the private room Jungkook was shifted too in the hospital. It was way past midnight. Way past visiting hours. But if you are a Jeon those rules don’t apply to you.  Jimin’s eyes zeroed in on the sleeping boy on the bed. The boy who holds his heart. Jimin went closer to the bed lifting Jungkook's hand pressing a kiss on each knuckle. Jimin held Jungkook’s hand in one of his while the other was caressing his cheek.

“I am sorry Jungkook-ah I have to leave your side but I am doing it for you. I am doing it so you can live. Live happily Kookie.” Jimin felt a tear trailing down his cheek. “I'll always be thinking of you. My heart that loves you is quite big and it has and will always belong to you.” Jimin was trying to suppress the sobs that were forcing their way out his throat.  “Maybe in our-our next lives the-the fate wouldn’t be so cruel to us. Have to be optimist right?” Jimin smiled slightly through his tears. His vision was so blurry clouded by the tears. “I wish you were holding me. God what wouldn’t I give to feel your arms around me right now. It would have somewhat soothed this pain of our impending separation.” A sob finally broke out and Jimin muffled the other that followed suit behind his hand when he felt Jungkook stir. But he didn’t wake up and Jimin sighed in relief.

“Even though I won’t be here to nag, you have to eat well and don’t stay up too late playing games.” Jimin calmed down to some extent and brushed Jungkook’s cheek with the back of his fingers. “You are not a failure Jungkookie or a letdown. You are you. You are enough.” Jimin looked at Jungkook memorizing his every feature. Branding his image, on every available space of his brain. Committing him to his memory. How he wished for the time to stop at this moment. But clock was still ticking and he had a train to catch. “I love you Jungkookie. Goodbye.” Jimin could swear he felt Jungkook hand tighten a bit as he let go. Jimin kissed his forehead and left the room as quiet as he came. He left like he was never there.

OOOO

Amnesia, such a small word but it wreaked havoc on Jimin's life. Jimin was not rich sure but he was hard working. He never asked for anything but someone to love him unconditionally. And he found that someone just to be reminded that he doesn't belong to Jimin. To be snatched out of his hands when he was absolutely sure they could overcome any obstacles. Jimin was no coward or a timid person he definitely would fight for the things that he love but his reality was a nightmare specifically drafted to pull him back down to earth from his position high in the clouds. How could Jimin fight for the person he loved when he doesn’t remember anything about him not even Jimin’s name, doesn’t even remember that love? How could he not let go when there wasn’t a hand to hold his on the other end? Jimin wasn't-isn't a pessimist but he isn't a dreamer either. He knows when to give up and in this situation he did give up because Jungkook wasn't his to take and the fact that even their most precious memories were wiped cleaned off his head like they were some meaningless further strengthened his belief that maybe they weren’t meant to be. 2 years may not be a lot of time to forget Jungkook but it was enough for Jimin to realize there wasn’t another one for him, that he would never love anyone as much as he did Jungkook and he found solace-a peace of sorts-in that. Was it healthy to be so stuck in the past? No. But can you blame him? First love is just that beautiful and painful.  Jimin accepted his reality, he accepted his fate. He got used to the void in his heart and learned to live again to be happy thanks to the friends he had.

 So why was the fate playing with him? Was it that entertaining to watch him struggle, to watch the feelings he had suppressed not long ago burst out and engulf his very being? To see him squash the very hope that was blooming in his heart after seeing his first love only to realize that nothing has in fact changed? Why did it bring Jungkook back in his life when he was finally, finally getting better. Happy. Why? Why?  Jimin’s brain was just about done. He couldn’t actually kick Jungkook out of his life completely, what him being Hoseok’s cousin and all plus they were in the same university so they were bound to cross paths but until that happened Jimin chose to avoid him made it his life mission to stay away. And he was succeeding-at least up till now.

“Jimin?” Jin said rubbing Jimin’s knuckles. “Yeah?”

Jimin could clearly see the hesitancy on Jin’s face. “Why are you not hanging out with us anymore? We all miss you.” Jimin contemplated how to go about answering that. He wasn’t ready to explain to Jin about the whole Jungkook situation, not that Jin wouldn’t understand but because Jimin didn’t know how to. It seemed Jimin took longer than he thought because Jin continued. “Did any of us hurt you?” Jin questioned his eyebrows furrowed. Jimin took Jin’s hand in both of his. “No hyung. I don’t think any of you are capable of hurting anyone. It’s just that I am really busy nowadays, the assignments plus dance and also the job are taking a lot out of me.” Jimin was not precisely lying he just omitted some things here and there like the fact he still has some free time to hang out if he wants to. Jin smiled. “So it’s not us? Thank God. I was so worried.”

 “You worry too much.” Jimin smiled in return.

Namjoon who was silent till now couldn’t help but ask. “So you are not avoiding Jungkook?” Jimin was not expecting to be asked that. He was so sure that no one would connect his recent MIAs with Jungkook but it seemed Namjoon was an exception. Nothing actually misses his eye. Well his and Yoongi’s. “What are you talking about hyung?” Jimin managed to get out without stuttering. “Well Jungkookie, he thinks you are avoiding him. Not that I blame him.” Namjoon continued. “You don’t hang out with us ever since he came into the picture so I don’t blame him for thinking that.” Jimin opened and then closed his mouth because he couldn’t actually think of anything to say to that. Namjoon was right, Jimin would have thought the same if he was in Jungkook’s place and he wasn’t wrong Jimin was in fact doing just that. Avoiding Jungkook. “I am not avoiding him Joonie hyung.” Jimin murmured. “You’re not? I remember him telling me how you ran off when he managed to catch you after some class.” Namjoon said amused. Jimin wished for something to swallow him whole so he could avoid this situation but the fate wasn’t that kind to him was it? “I was late for my next class.” Jimin pouted. “Jimin it was the last class of the day.” Jin supplied. “Uh-then I was late for my shift.” Jimin was proud of himself for thinking of that excuse. “Jiminie you don’t work on Wednesdays.” Now Jin was full out giggling and soon Namjoon joined. “Ha-ha you guys are so mean.” Jimin sighed.

“Seriously you shouldn’t be embarrassed about fainting in front of him and he was joking that day in the hospital. Don’t take him seriously.” Jin ruffled Jimin’s hair since he was pouting. And pouting Jimin was insanely cute. Jimin knew it was better to just go along with what they said because he had no choice if he didn’t want to explain the whole story behind his reasons. “Okay hyung, if you say so.” Jimin smiled.

“I expect to see you at my house this weekend Mister. No excuses.” Jin said in a no nonsense tone but he was smiling.

“Aye-aye captain.” Jimin saluted and then they dissolved into giggles.       

A/N

Hello everyone! It has been such a long time since I posted chapter 4. I just had a lot to do. So I apologize for making you wait. So chapter 5 is longer than the usual chapters, it's about 3K+ words so I hope you like it. Also with this chapter you get the full story of their past so now every chapter will be in the present time with maybe an occasional flashback. This chapter was by far the hardest one to write because of the emotions and I know I am not the best writer out there hell! I dont know how you actually like the fics I write but anyway I am sorry if the emotions dont shine through and sorry if I disappointed you with this. 

Ok leave comments to tell me your thoughts. What do you guys think? I really really love it when you guys comment. I have no idea how many times I have decided to give up on this fic and your comments encouraged me to continue. So thank you.

Also Happy Birthday to our baby maknae Jungkookie. I am seriously so proud of him. He has come so far and grown so much *crying tears of joy*

Have a nice day. Love you guys.

-Seher