A lot of people would come and go in your life, but only those who you cherish and whom cherish you, would actually stay and make a meaning out of your life.

==

If you believe that everything's alright
You won't be all alone tonight

The music played peacefully against my ears as I make my way out my room, bidding a soft goodbye to my lovely parents.

Piano accompanied the vocalist and it blends well with each other that a simple tapping against my thigh as I walk, was inevitable.

Please.

After the first verse, the vocal was accompanied by drums and what seems to be violin. I continued listening to it, the lyrics directly hitting my chest.         

When the harmony got beautifully worse, my head couldn’t stop nodding to the beat.

I smile at everyone looking at me suspiciously, and despite their gazes filled with confusion, my head continued bobbing up and down to the music softly running down through my every nerve.

“Oh can you tell that I haven’t slept very well since the last time that we spoke? I said, ‘Please understand, I’ve been drinking again and all I do is hope.’” I sing with the lyrics beating in my heart and a coat wrapped on my right arm.

As I head my way towards the store, I hum a little more, with my heart breaking a little more.

Until the part I’m truly hurt, comes and with restrained voice and closed eyes, I sing, “’Cause I’m not strong for the both of us. What was I supposed to do? You know I love you.”

It was when I opened my eyes that I happened to see someone staring at me openly, with a smirk on her lips.

My right hand immediately did its job, which was to remove the earplugs out of my ear, and my eyes widen at a not-so-beautiful width. Her smirk unbelievably widens too and the inevitable roll of my eyes came without notice.

“Ooh,” she giggles. “I didn’t take you as a talented person,” she said as she steps toward me. Her eyes averted to the coat wrapped around my arm and said, “And I didn’t think that you’d return it almost immediately.”

To say that she wasn’t aware of her charms would be a big, big lie. Her colourful charms were sent directly to my heart, where it drowns me and suffocates me in the best of ways.

I nodded and my hands neatly folded the crinkles of the coat. The coat came between us, our hands holding either sides, until I let go of it, and it stayed on her arms.

Our eyes held each other’s gazes for a long time, and as each second passes by, continuously tick my every nerve. But her eyes are beautiful and they seemed to be curious of my being, that it started evaporating into thin air. Whatever there was between us, evaporated and time stopped to matter, as we were unconsciously smiling.

My voice speak out even when I don’t want to break anything sweet that we created between us, muttering, “I guess I would go for now.”

A sly smile landed on her lips and I watched it open beautifully, her pretty lips saying, “Okay, take care.”

I replied with a smile, “Thank you for lending your coat that night. It was really helpful during the heavy rain,” decided to leave out the details of the nights I spend that I wore it to sleep, smiling goofily althrough the night until the morning.

Her smile turned into a wide grin, that her eyes were forming crescents, and nodded at me. A second passed as we stare at each other’s eyes and we both stepped forward, heading to our paths.

I stepped to the left and she stepped to the right, and with one last gaze at each other, our intersected paths started to pass by either ways. My heart felt empty almost immediately and only then did I notice that with her presence, I was truly and fully zealous.

With one deep breath, I turned to look at her, knowing that I would see her walking, but surprised to see her already looking at me, her lips forming a wide smirk.

The look she was giving me seemed to take my breath away, and from the small distance between us, I heard her chuckle. The action triggered my heart to oscillate and it did, continuously, until it became the only thing I heard.

A benevolent of a smile landed on my lips, thankful that our paths coincided with each other and kept doing so, and I saw her nod at me, a signal that would finally cut the eye contact and sparks between us and would let us continue our walk to our paths.

I turn around almost immediately after the nod, and my hidden and kept smile meets the world in brightness and in happiness. Once again, the music started filling my ears as the ear phones connected with my ears.

==

The instructor started counting together with his body moving and his foot stepping. I followed his moves easily, and when I repeated it just to feel comfortable with the steps, I looked at the full body mirror to watch my movements. The choreography was for the song “Slow Motion” and Sungjae oppa picked me as his partner.

He said that if we perfected the choreography together, then I would have more chances of debuting. And being the hardworking trainee I am, I only became determined to do my best, hoping that I could stand on my own stage.

When Sungjae oppa has taught me half of the dance, he gave a water break and I happily ran to get my water bottle. I immediately slipped down the wall to cross my legs in an indian seat and chugged on the water.

“Rest for two minutes and we’ll do twenty sit-ups and twenty push-ups,” Sungjae oppa, who seemed to be calmer than when we first started, said in a soothing voice.

I nodded at him to show that I got it. Training for years already, I’ve got used to their ways of training. Sometimes, they can be harsh but that would soon lead to your improvement, which I admit, was the best thing about them.

Standing, I guided my limbs to stretch and massage them for a while before doing some jumping jacks. The thing about training for hours in a day is that you can get strained muscle if you don’t stretch.

Instructor Sungjae oppa kneeled down and patted the space in front of him after he has ran around the room. I laid flat on the polished floor and when I felt his knees on my feet, my hands went to curl on opposite sides of my shoulders and raised my body halfway. Repeating the action again and again, I made sure to do the breathings and countings properly.

After getting done with the sit-ups, I sat up properly to massage my legs yet again. I rolled my body to put my hands and knees against the floor, with my feet crossed in the air. Sungjae oppa nodded at me, signalling me to start and I did. Counting loudly as my nose touched the floor lightly every time, I realized how it has been easier for me to do these exercises.

By the time I was done, I was panting a little but that didn’t stop me from standing up and jogging on my place. The lean but cute instructor has noticed this as he finally gave me a smile for the first time and I don’t know why but it makes me halt my movements. I just stared at him, knowing that I should probably take a picture of his smile then frame it but I didn’t.

“Seems like you’re working harder than ever,” he starts. “I like that.”

I nod my head as he continues, “I guess choosing you was not a mistake at all.” As I heard him, my eyes were sure to twinkle and I almost couldn’t help the scream from escaping my mouth. But of course, if I wanted to be an idol, I have to control my emotions, so I just gave him a wide grin.

“Shall we continue?” he asks. I nod and together, we face the mirror again, immediately picking up where we left off.

--

The music played softly inside the confines of the practice room and my body coordinated with it, dancing peacefully along the music. It’s almost as if the steps were engraved on my body that it starts to be a part of me, a part of who I am. Sungjae oppa decided to watch me do it on my own first, before we dance together.

Soon, I was dancing freely with my eyes closed, and I had let the song consume my every fiber. I know that even with my body freely moving, every move I produce was solid in a way that has ease in it.

The song only lasts for a while but my worry about it somehow evaporates as I become one with every beat. In a slow motion, similar to the title of the song, my hands and feet moved with each other as it’s almost like the music accompanies my every move.

My breath puffed out of my mouth as I feel the shift of my surroundings to a lighter and happier atmosphere. As the chorus almost finishes, I opened my eyes, hoping that while dancing I could see the once in a blue moon of a smile on my instructor’s lips, but as I was dancing, what I saw shocked me. The supply of coherent words and supply of enough oxygen inside my lungs started to cut short.

The last step escaped my body with the heaving of my chest and I turned at everyone who was currently on the room. I admit it was a very big splash of cold water on my body as everyone who I look up to, were here in the room and they could have watched me dance.

Insecurity seeped its way to my skin as I saw Hyoyeon sunbae-nim’s face sporting a serious look directed at me with a hint of mischievousness present in her eyes. I’m fully aware of her personality or just any other SNSD member, because they were one of my inspirations into wanting to lead the idol life. And I know that she’s probably just messing with me, but I can’t keep it out of my system.

Yuri sunbae-nim reacted first among the three of them, including Sooyoung sunbae-nim, and clapped very loudly. Soon, everyone followed that I can’t help but bow at them repeatedly. Sungjae oppa smiled proudly at me with a nod and I feel the utmost gratitude for him.

How the trio came here was unimaginable to me, because why would they come here suddenly when they’re one of the busiest people I know. Thankfully, Sooyoung sunbae-nim spoke out, saying, “I guess making a way for your performance wasn’t a waste at all.”

I nod, giving my thanks, still a bit far from them since I feel unworthy to be given that for now. Sungjae oppa explained further for their presence in the room, saying, “I asked them personally if they can watch an amazing trainee dance and they immediately agreed, so that’s why they were here to watch your performance.”

Sooyoung sunbae-nim nodded her head multiple of times as she said with a loud voice, “Yes, yes. And he was very persistent about it. He must have liked you a lot then.”

My head turned at the side of my instructor to see that he was covering his face with both hands. I can see very well that his ears are red and I just smiled goofily at the sight. Hyoyeon sunbae-nim walked up to me and wrapped her arm around my shoulder, whispering that she’d like to have a performance with me once I debut.

I grinned widely at her, and from the close proximity of our faces to each other, I fully appreciated her beauty without make-up. Yes, I know. I just had the privilege to see a bare-faced sunbae.

She added that I am lucky that I am liked by a very stone hearted guy like Sungjae. When I returned my gaze to him, he was smiling sheepishly at me as both Yuri sunbae-nim and Sooyoung sunbae-nim are by his either sides, talking to him.

What’s happening, really?

--

After S.H.Y sunbaes took a picture with us, with Sungjae oppa and I at the middle, they went out of the room, saying that they’ll head to their schedules.

The atmosphere between us was kind of eerie but I brushed it off by giving my thanks at him and bidding goodbye. He nodded and just smiled slightly at me, letting me get home. And I did, riding my bicycle.

I didn’t know he had that shy side on him. And I didn’t know he could smile so wide. But my heart’s reserved to a certain someone already.