A smile made its way across his lips though his heart clenched a little bit. He was supposed to be there, standing tall beside those bright eyes.

"I'm okay" he whispered to himself "I'll smile because I love you"

He chuckled as he just quoted Taeil's song. The others were immersed in watching the performance presented by their fellow brothers. NCT sub unit NCTU finally made its debut. The tense and awkward atmosphere though, could be felt. The audience made it clear that Taeyong wasn't accepted yet as they opted to stay calm and quiet on his parts.

Johnny thinned his lips and breathe out slowly, not wanting to let the others know how affected he was. He could only dread how Taeyong would feel right now, to be the centre of the showers of hatred and critics. He knew what Taeyong did in the past was awfully wrong. But the Taeyong he knows now, the Taeyong who cried secretly in his sleep. He knows the Taeyong who tries too hard. The Taeyong who works extra hard. The Taeyong now is somebody else who deserves all the love. He couldn't help the thought of how their fans might think if they knew. Moreover, how people would see them. He clearly knew the consequences, the disgust they would have to face. His dream was the first thing he was bound to lose.

A year ago-

Their manager sighed.

"I know we keep asking you to give fanservice and all but you have to know that this is Korea, and people like-" he hesitated.

"People like me" Johnny stated "I understand"

"Even though fans love these shippings and all, they will never accept the reality and that's how the world works. You have to know that this is for your own good. If people found out before you even make your debut, they won't hesitate to deminish your existence. I think you know what happened when the company found out about Yunho and Jaejoong"

He's heard that from his friend Jongin.

"The managers and staffs desperately tried to lessen the rumors of the two dating but it grew as time passed. Some fans found evidences that were too clear to call it as jus