" He never forgot Yoongi's lies. That alone was enough to help him keep going with the way things are now."

_Please and comment.

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Note: Okay! Over the past months my phone broke and I had no way to entertain myself unless someone lent me their phones for a bit. To get rid of boredom I updated, And I used a Samsung to help me write it...but damn I stopped typing at least 600+ words. The Samsung was hard for me to use and I didn't understand how it worked. Then I went to the public library to type the story, and I managed most of it but the laptop was timed. Now I got my new phone ( god bless🤩😍) and I just wanted to apologize for my delay! Love youuuuuu~ Love youuu~ Don't hate meh. 

Warning: Agnst and triggering scenes involving depression, suicidal thoughts, and cutting. 

" And it's pretty cool cause you can see the  metal or the silver lines appearing on every part of the body. I really want to take you and see it Yoongi." Taehyung spoke enthusiastically while ever so often drumming his fingertips agaisnt the table. A suffocating yet untreated silence broke through Yoongi's dorm room, promising to stay unless someone spoke out first. Which then led to Yoongi rendering a soft hum while drawing random doodles on a paper. It was one of those days where the silver bright sky conquers the usual light blue ones. A day Taehyung chose to visit the depressed boy once again. "  Not interesting huh?" Taehyung mutters but the room is quiet enough for the other to hear. Yoongi in response, uses the back of his hand to support his head while staring at the handsome male before him. " I'm sorry." He unexpectedly said and soon right after spaces out again where he can only worry about Namjoon. His mind flooded of montages of the moments spent with him from the horrific ones to the blissful ones. Oh how he wish he could turn back time, one tear escaping his strict prison red eyes. He knew he and Namjoon won't ever be back together and that hurt him more than anything. " Yah! Yah! You don't have to cry for that!" Taehyung worridly launches himself forward and wipes away the tear he noticed Yoongi had. When Yoongi released a sniff, Taehyung smirked in a sad manner and then clenched his fist. He hated how Namjoon won, even when Yoongi is away from him. No matter how much he puts himself at the center where Yoongi can see him, the other male is still too love sick to even spare him a glance. It feels like placing a picture frame of Namjoon in front of  Yoongi and then holding his hand. Supporting him while his eyes only sees Namjoon. 

" I'm sorry, i'm sorry." Yoongi cries out instantly distracting Taehyung from his thoughts of envy, whom obviously did everything he could to stop the younger from going emotional. " Shh baby, let's not cry again." Taehyung whispers so close to Yoongi the latter can feel the tickling warm breath of Taehyung's at  the top of his almost dry and hueless lips. " Yoongi I want you to look at me, look at me. I am here for you, please don't feel saddened." Taehyung confesses smoothly and with much care as possible. He is sincere with full hope that perhaps Yoongi could finally relax under him. 

" Tae...I am afraid." Yoongi replies, his voice already hoarse from crying. 

" Afraid of what baby?" Taehyung made himself more comfortable in his seat rubbing Yoongi's back while waiting for him to speak again. He thought that maybe he caused the younger to finally open up to him. 

" Afraid of getting close to you. W-what if I lose you too like I lost Namjoon? 

How am I supposed to live?" 

" Yoongi...I wouldn't leave-"

" That's what Namjoon reassured me and now look." Yoongi interrupts while rubbing the fresh tears from his cheeks  meanwhile Taehyung looked offended. Taehyung frowns instantly. " So what if Namjoon left you? Namjoon this-Namjoon that, I am not Namjoon. What makes you even think I would retrace this bastard's steps?!" Taehyung raises his voice practically startling the boy under him whom stares wide eyed and dilated lips. " I am Kim Taehyung, I am that friend that's still with you. I am the one that loves you Yoongi, the one that didn't turn my back on you even when I saw you cross dressing.  I listened to your past and I'm the one who wants to write the future with you, Please stop categorizing me with Namjoon. " By the time Taehyung finished Yoongi is left looking like a shocked child. Like Taehyung wanted, Yoongi at last recognized him for the effort and everything he has done up until now. When Taehyung holds Yoongi's fragile hand and positioned it tight against his beating chest , The younger commences blushing a light peachy shade. " You're finally looking at me." Taehyung smiles his usual boxy smile with his eyes dilating into one small crystal of happiness. The picture frame starts burning away slowly turning into ashes so that the face behind it could be seen. Slowly but not hesitant, Taehyung leans in to connect his lips with Yoongi's. It could have been the most romantic and perfect moment the two share, the time of new and rising love where the scars of the past begin to patch up.... but for Taehyung  it was just not the time yet. Yoongi recognized him and appreciates  him for his efforts  but this didn't mean  he stopped being in love with Kim Namjoon. And like this Taehyung continues to be at the center of the undisclosed. The face continues to be hidden behind the now unharmed picture frame of Kim Namjoon. 

" Tae....please.." Yoongi pushes Taehyung away gently. His still peachy cheeks only reddened more but he didn't want this. " Sorry..I got carried away." Taehyung nervously chuckles as in letting his godly smile hide the pain inside him. But Yoongi knew, He can see that pain lucidly. The hurting allowed Taehyung to cry without himself not noticing he was. "So...That movie that I wanted to show you Yoongi...Let's watch it." 

Not  wanting to upset the other any longer Yoongi nodded allowing the other to take him. 

✗✗✗✗

Taehyung had taken Yoongi to the nearest  massive mall and bought the younger a lot of stuff , considering that Yoongi is a runaway without most of this clothes and other stuff. Yoongi whom is polite, Often no- more like always begged taehyung not to buy him anything  but the older disregarded the fact and bought him clothes anyways. Because of running around in most of the area, Yoongi now earned himself about fourteen different styled expensive shirts and fourteen jeans to match. Taehyung also spoiled Yoongi with shoes and accessories until he was bored. The two now absolutely exhausted and now on their way to one of Taehyung's cars in order to dump all the stuff. " I feel awful...Taehyung, I told you so many times  and-" 

" And I didn't listen." Tae smirks proudly to himself  and still managed to seem like a gentle angel. " Come on, It's about time to see the movie. Do you wanna see what I recommended? Do you wanna try a new one? What genre do you like?"  Taehyung takes Yoongi's hand before intertwining them together. 

" This is too much. Please don't continue to spoil me any longer. I am really grateful that you're doing this -" for the 100th time Yoongi became interrupted once again however instead of using words to collide with Yoongi, Taehyung used his lips.  Those soft plump lips of Taehyung's on Yoongi's forehead only made the younger feel shy and discomforted. A reminder of Taehyung's confession made the boy froze with guilt and nervousness. 

" Relax." Taehyung broke the silence. " Let's just have fun." And with that taehyung drags Yoongi to the cinema. 

✗✗✗✗✗

When returning home in Taehyung's car, Yoongi helped his hyung carry all of the bags of clothes into the dorm that Yoongi now shares with someone else.  The younger stayed a little bit more inside the dorm to make sure Yoongi was feeling okay before leaving him alone again.  He is fine. At least that was the lie he told himself as his body betrayed him and he cries. His body aches, he's in need-No yearning to be around Namjoon and his contagious smile. Yoongi touches the hidden necklace  around his neck, Surrounded by the darkness of his own room which looks just like his old flat due to almost no decorations within it and the blackout curtains was chosen to set his current mood. He stares at his wrist full of past and recent scars of all sizes until he concluded that he couldn't take anymore. The yearning sensation only drove him to run out of the dorm and into the blue painted hallways of the building. Yoongi's footsteps echo throughout as he ran to a similar door, which is to be Namjoon's.  The beat to his heart raised as the sweat in his palm formed. There's this drumming sound inside his head and an overwhelming sense of alarm, but still he lifts his palm and knocked. Afraid, Yoongi leaned against the wall away from the peep hole. It took minutes. Almost forever  until Yoongi knocks again and the person from inside opens up their doors. A sleepy and confused Namjoon peers his head out until his lonely eyes made contact with Yoongi's desperate ones. How great it would have been if they could just hug each other deeply...Kissed  and made up...apologize and make promises that would most likely be kept but today is not that day for Yoongi's wishful thinking. Namjoon still sees him of an enemy that he just missed and he dares close the door in front of his face but Yoongi's feet intervened. " Namjoon hyung..." Yoongi  could not contain his pain and tears from making it's way to light. " I miss you so much, you have no idea." He adds in  a soft whisper. Namjoon rolls his eyes and scoffed yet he knew and still felt his heart cracking after Yoongi spoke. " Guess you shouldn't have lied." Namjoon spat venom. 

" I never meant to, I was going to tell you soon-" 

" When Yoongi?!" Namjoon interrupts with a loud roar, his pained eyes turn bloodshot while his frown remains pursed and trembles.  " You deceived me for so long...Knew that I fell in love with yo-No with the fake version of yourself. You made out with me knowing you're a ing guy. I'm still sick at how such a good actor you are. The fakest of them all! bravo! I bow to you." 

Yoongi cried silently wanting to answer all those questions but didn't really dared to as Namjoon continued his angry rant. The younger eventually spaced out again not noticing when Namjoon finished and closed the door. He snaps out of his trance and proceeds to bang on the doors. " Namjoon hyung! Hyung please don't forgive me! I never meant it! Please don't leave me! Hyung!" Yoongi cries out as he banged so loud that even other dormies could hear him. Namjoon only slid down the door while his tears flowed out too. " Y-you're so evil Yoongi. How could you do this to me?" Namjoon whispers to himself. 

After five minutes of that, Yoongi only sat on the floor outside of Namjoon's dorm. The younger had long ago stopped screaming and the doors but his tears still flowed ever so heavily. The sounds of heels neared closer and closer until Yoongi could see a pair of pink designed High heels. He was surprised honestly to see a female on the male's side of the dorm and even more so when he noticed that it was Bang Minah staring at him in a concerned manner. " Oh my god.." She finally spoke, her thin and soft voice like a whisper. " Are you okay?" She spoke louder now and offered her hand to him. Yoongi wanted so bad to vigorously slap it away. After all, She is his rival and the girl who forced his hyung to do something he didn't want to do. But still, he didn't have that true scorching salt of jealousy yet therefore in order not to be rude he allowed himself to get helped. " You're Namjoon oppa's friend right? Aww what happened? Were you locked out?" 

Yoongi could only nod quietly while he stared at the floor with his hands respectfully held behind his back. " Okay. I'll let you in." Minah said and she seems to now own Yoongi's keys which caused the boy's head to boil despite his outside appearance calm and stoic. After all, he did deserve this. He deserves pain, he deserves Namjoon's hate, he deserves to be felt alone and die. With that being said right after Minah opens the door Yoongi slides in as in prowling for Namjoon who could be inside his room. Despite looking confident the boy is actually hurting deeply, his body felt uncomfortable as it throbs and all this because he couldn't afford to lose Namjoon. His everything. 

" Get out! Leave this place Yoongi!" Both Minah and the mentioned boy flinched at Namjoon's impaling voice of fuming anger. The bothered male left his room and attempted to push the crying Yoongi away. " Hyung please why don't you listen to me?" Yoongi spoke unclearly due to his voice almost cracking. His hurt eyes stares at the other's puffy red eyes not believing he wasn't given a chance to talk. " Get out!" And with much more force, Yoongi has been kicked out with the door hastily shut in front of his face. Namjoon turns and now stares at the bewildered Minah whom stands frozen. 

☆☆ 

Yoongi felt like now if not worse. Heck, maybe he's diarrhea now. ' What's the point? You're forever meant to be alone.' Yoongi whines inside his head. The latter glares at the door and rubs both his arms the moment he felt the frigid air. Yoongi reluctantly returns to his dorm and silently made it back to his dark noiseless room, closing and locking the door behind him before he kneels down in front of one of the edge of his bed. Yoongi's facial expression now changed from a heavily agonizing look to a stoic and lifeless one, hand digging under the sheets to pull out a small maroon decorated pocket knife. With that knife, Yoongi did his daily doze of slitting his wrist. A longer angry red line is formed above his healed other ones, making Yoongi close his eyes shut from the satisfying pain. 

" I should have died..." The male who gave up gifts himself ten more long cuts and hides the unclean with blood knife under the pillow. Afterwards the depressed and exhausted male, fragilely laid himself onto his cosy bed while he used one of the pillow cases to clean and dry the puddle of blood on his arm. 

☆☆☆

" What was all that about? Namjoon how could you be so mean?" Minah questions with somewhat wronged face. She held her other hand tightly against her chest and furrowed eyebrows made her appear to be vexed or annoyed. 

" Forget about what just happened. It's only between him and me." Namjoon replies just as stern before digging both hands inside the pockets of  his grey sweatpants and walks over to the kitchen to serve two cups of tea. " Please take a seat I want to say something important." He adds and offered her one of the cups until she took it. 

" Hmm this smells good but it's still hot." Minah who fixed the hem of her baby pink skirt before sitting down said followed by a shy chuckle. She had sat on one of Namjoon's bright brown couches and placed the hot tea on the small glass table at the center of the sofas.

" It's about our relationship and this whole trying for a month." Namjoon started biting his inner lip. He wished to break it to her in the kindest way but thanks to Yoongi ruining his mood, he can't seem to sympathize as much. As every word dropped, Minah could feel negativity which caused her body to tense up. " What about it?" The girl said quietly too afraid to hear anymore. 

" I don't want to keep doing this Minah. I'm sorry I couldn't return your feelings, I tried. But I'm afraid I just can't...I want you as a friend but you probably don't want to...So it's okay if you even stopped talking to me." Namjoon tried. He really did but still sounded so inconsiderate...or a jerk. If words were daggers, Minah would be bloody all over. The girl's hands and lips twitch while she blinks back her tears. 

" Oh..." Was all she forced out. Pausing for a moment and stares at Namjoon with silence before she jolts up off the couch and ran out of the dorm. Minah covers her face while she ran out of the building, forgetting to even sneak her way out. Namjoon drinks his tea, not caring if it was burning his tongue of how hot it is. He didn't care, he didn't care at all because his emotions is all over the place. Confused about a certain boy who broke his heart.

•••••

A lot has happened in this story and I'm not keeping up to date in the story. I feel like a ty author but I'll take this book as a lesson to remember or actually make a timeline for future works. I fear certain things went too fast but at the same time it's not fixable cause well- I already wrote this. 

I think some are concerned about the story's ending(??) happy or sad, Well I'm not going to reveal 😂😂😂 but I will mention that it's about to come to an end. I did wish to make it longer but I'm pretty occupied with other books too so I'm either gonna have to erase others or just finish this. And I chose to finish it soon. 

Have a nice day/night~ Dears