Chapter 7

Dimsum was awkward, and as predicted, we spoke about our friendship back then, and of all the dumb things we used to do. Once brunch was over, we each went our own way, Sumin and Jin leaving with their boyfriends, the atmosphere between us three having grown cold. Seungcheol gave me a quick hug, and got into the car he had called for, going to straight to work, the five of them left Mingyu and I to ourselves. I came to the realization that while the friendship I shared with Sumin and Jin was precious and strong, it seems the distance have weaken it significantly. Mingyu on the other hand, for some reason, he understands it enough to not judge me, we did speak to one another at times over the past seven years.

The day continue to pass by just like that, the distance between Sumin, Jin and I became more clear in those hours. When nighttime came, and dinner rolled around, I dreaded attending it.

They had told me we were going to have dinner at one of Seungcheol’s family owned restaurant, I remember Jin had told me before that this is where their monthly dinner is held for the past couple of years.

Arriving at the restaurant with Mingyu, he had came to picked me up, worried that I wouldn’t know where it is, he led me into the fancy building, past the receptionist who simply greeted him with a bright smile, and a friendly “enjoy your time”. We went down a small hallway, until we reached the very last door at the end of the hall.

Before going in, Mingyu smile down at me, and patted my back. “Just have some fun, I think the awkwardness they feel is already gone.” Mingyu had told reassuringly, before knocking twice, and pushing the door open. The room itself was beautiful, the wall was a warm cream color, with soft yellow light lighting up the room. The ceiling was made of glass, the city’s lights shining in, creating a gentle glow in the room. In the middle of the room, sat the largest round table I’ve ever seen, with exactly 16 chairs around it.

Everyone was already there, they were all talking and laughing with one another, but the moment they noticed who was standing at the doorway, the conversation halt, and turned into greetings.

Greeting them with hugs, I let Mingyu lead me to my seat. There were two empty chairs between Wonwoo and Seungcheol, Mingyu immediately pulled out the chair beside Seungcheol’s for me, and took his usual seat by Wonwoo. I didn’t mind, it was nice of him really, and Seungcheol didn’t look like he was bothered either, so I pushed it from my mind.

The conversation began again, but this time, it was a very distinctive change. When I had first came in, they were speaking of their personal life, and what not, but now, the conversation went back to our middle school days, and the usual nicety conversation.

“Ah, remember that time when little Chan got a girlfriend?” Seungkwan laughs out loud, downing his cup of soju before turning to the red faced Lee Chan. “Seungcheol-hyung, Hoshi, Seokmin and I followed them on their first date cause the girl was a year older, and had a reputation.”

Seokmin was also cracking up in his seat, slapping his thighs happily. “Oh man, that was hilarious, especially when we got to the movie theater and found Sumin and Jin following them around too. Hoshi and I pretended to be a couple when little Chan suddenly moved to sit right in front of us.”

“I couldn’t believe you guys did that,” Lee Chan was hiding his face in his hand, shaking his head mournfully. “It wasn’t just you three and Sumin and Jin noona, but all of you were following me around that day, the noona I was on the date with caught on, and refused to see me again after that.”

“Ah sorry, sorry.” Hansol was laughing in his hand as he said that, “That was my fault, I accidentally revealed us.”

I was so confused at this point, did they all go spy on Lee Chan on his first day? And got caught? “What do you mean?” I couldn’t help but ask.

Vernon look at me with confused eyes before suddenly coming to realization. “Ah!” His eyes brighten up, “That’s right, I forgot you weren’t part of our group anymore at the time.”

“That’s right,” Jeonghan laughed as he said it, downing another shot of soju. “I keep on forgetting you had already left.”

“It was some good time though, too bad you missed it.” Seokmin added, earning nods and hums of approval from the group. “Yup, good times.”

Those words had stab so deep into my chest, I could only force a smile, and continued to listen as they recounted the good times they had had during those years, all the while commenting about how I was already gone by that time. It was clear to see now, that I was not part of the group, haven’t been for a long time now.

Dinner ended a while later, everyone leaving after short goodbyes, and see you soon. Sumin, Jin and I were still at odds with one another, the tension between the three of us not dissolving at all. So instead of pushing it, the three of us parted ways, as well as everyone else, all but Minghao and Jun. It’s quite awkward, the three of us just sitting here. But thinking back, I can clearly remember back then, Minghao, Jun and I got on well with each other since I was able to speak Chinese well, and them not speaking Korean very well, being transferred students and all, I was given to task to help them around. Of course at the beginning, I helped them because I had to, but as time went on, we started to enjoy each other’s presence, and soon enough, Jin and Sumin became friends with them as well. Before I knew it, they were part of our Archery club, and honestly, the two were a very welcomed part of the club, they bought a calm light.

“I guess we should call it a night,” I said, looking out into the street as cars zipped by. The two were sitting on the bench outside the restaurant with me, Minghao on my left, Jun on my right. “You two should get going, it’s late, and you both look like you’re about to pass out.” It’s not like I’m trying to get rid of them, but they both really do look like they’ll fall over any minute now. And they were talking about how they have work early tomorrow morning.

“No,” Minghao immediately retorted, surprising me by clinging onto my arm. “You’re going to cry if we leave.”

“We’re not going to leave you to cry by yourself.” Jun added in quietly, patting my head gently. “Don’t forget, Minghao and I can read you like a book.”

They both still knows me well, even after all these time, the ones most receptive to my emotions, are these two. But still, I wasn’t going to let them read too much into me, not right now. “Of course I remember, but what do I have to cry about, I’m happy to have dinner with everyone after so long.”

They didn’t respond, looking over at one another silently before they both sigh. “No matter what you say,” Minghao started to say, his gentle voice washing over me. “The things that was said in that room, every word and sentence that insinuated your lack of belonging, had hurt you more than you are letting on.”

“Every time one of us mention how you haven’t been a part of our group for the past years, how you are no longer in our circle,” Jun continued on from where Minghao let off, “You tense, and I can see you pulling back more.”

I stayed silent, not wanting to admit it, but they were right. “What do you want me to say then? I already admitted it. I haven’t been part of the group for a long time, and it’ll never be like before.” My voice cracked as I said that, not wanting to let my emotion clog things up, I cleared my throat, and straighten up. “In another three days, I’ll be returning to Tokyo, and everything will go back to how it was. I don’t intend on coming back to Seoul, saved for Jin’s and Wonwoo’s wedding. As well as any event any of you might invite me to. The friendship we had will remain in the past, it’s already almost all gone by now.”

Silence followed after that, the only noise being that of the flowing traffic. “Come back to Seoul.” The two quietly demanded.

“I can’t… I won’t.” I answered instantly, my life is in Tokyo now.

Again, the two simultaneously sigh, “We know,” Jun smile sadly at me, “But it was worth a try. I really missed you, Faye.” Jun said, getting off the bench, he stuff his hand into his coat’s pockets, looking down at me with sad eyes.

“Me too.” Whispering my response, I got up as well, pulling Minghao along. “Thank you, for staying back to speak with me.”

Turning to give Minghao a tight hug, blinking quickly to clear the mist in my eyes. “Goodnight, Faye-jiejie.”

“Goodnight Minghao,” Pulling away, I turn to give Jun a hug as well. “Goodnight Junhui.”

Taking the train back to the hotel, I was a mess the entire way. Having to get off a stop early to take a long walk back to the hotel with the cold, night breeze calming me. It felt good, the cold, crisp air of January had helped numb all my pain.

“You took your time,” Was the first thing I heard when I got off the elevator, “I’ve been waiting here for over an hour.”

Looking up, I was shocked to find Seungcheol leaning against the wall across from the elevator. “Seungcheol… What are you doing here?”

Hello everyone, I hope you're all having a wonderful vacation. I'm terribly sorry for not posting in so long, life have not been easy on me lately. I hope  this chapter found you all well. Thanks for reading! Much love.