“Will you stop time?
If this moment passes
As though it hadn't happened
I'm afraid, afraid, afraid of losing you”

Namjoon glanced away as the confusion in Seohyun's face mirrored his disoriented state. He himself didn't really know why he chose to bring her there.

“Um, okay, this place is definitely the last thing that comes in my mind...”

Namjoon itched to ask her if she meant that in a positive or negative manner.

But then she continued, “But if I wasn't feeling so lost I could've definitely considered this place.”

It was Namjoon's turn to be perplexed. He waited for a moment before he asked, “You mean a place like this?”

The girl contemplated his question for a second, as if to say that she didn't really get what he meant. “I mean, as in this place...” She spoke slowly, watching his face like it would help the two of them clear the confusion in the air.

If Namjoon wasn't so unhinged, he would've definitely flush at the way she looked at him. “Wait, so you mean you've been here before?”

Seohyun simply chuckled but not in the way that she intended to belittle him. Rather, she looked at him tenderly as if he was someone cute. Not sure if Namjoon found it amenable, considering people around that part of town feared being alone with the likes of him. Especially at four in the morning and at a quite isolated dock. But Namjoon inwardly shook his head and admitted that his heart did skip a beat knowing that Seohyun looked at him as if she adored him. 

Seohyun then squinted her eyes, as if searching amid the vast, almost pitch-black space before them. Sunrise was probably for an hour or so. But as the two of them neared the ocean, the sound of gentle waves of the water calmed down the turmoil inside his head like a familiar lullaby. The soft, with a hint of salty, breeze of the ocean comforted him.

“You sure it's safe here though?” Seohyun asked with a tinge of uncertainty.  

Instead of taking offense from it, Namjoon assured her. “Of course. No one will dare hurt you here.” Not when someone like me was around, he thought to himself.

Seohyun was obviously startled at his answer and laughed out loud. “That wasn't exactly what I pertained to but I'm glad to know that.” Pink color tinged Namjoon's cheeks at that. “It's just that one time Seokjin brought me here, he said it’s safe here a second before my foot got stuck in one of the holes in between the wooden platforms. My slippers almost fell in the water. Aaand I got a mini-heart attack because I thought I was going to fall, too. I didn't even know how to swim.” 

Seohyun finished her anecdote in a snort and Namjoon heard himself roar in laughter.

“Even if you fell, it's only like 3-feet high. At most? Surely, you couldn't have drowned even if you tried.” Namjoon pointed out. 

“I know that now but my 11-year-old self didn't.” 

At the end of the pier, Namjoon stared at the halfway-finished construction. There's a number of unfinished squares of metals and woods, as if a framework, that he had been familiar to for the past six months. Just recently, Jimin and Jungkook decided to put ladders so that the top of it would serve as a diving board. Since no one bothered to continue the supposed to be core of some kind of an infrastructure, the boys arranged it as if a teenager's playground.

“See that kind of a diving board up there?” Namjoon couldn't help himself but point it out, trying to relate one funny story to Seohyun.

The girl tip-toed and followed the trail of his index finger. “A diving board?” She arched one eyebrow at him. 

“Hey, no judgment here little girl. Plus, it was Jimin's and Jungkook's idea.”

“Hmmm...one look at that plywood as a sorry excuse of a diving board and I already know that this story will end real bad.”

Namjoon barked a laugh at that. Again. Yes, the story did end real badly. “So as I've said, it was Jimin's and Jungkook's idea right? Those two have this—I don't really know how to say it but simply put—a serious case of hyung complex. So they dared Jin and Suga in trying the board if it could work as a diving board.”

Seohyun made a point by rubbing her chin while she assessed the vertical distance from the tip of the diving board to the surface of the water. She then looked at him which prompted him to raise his hands in the air as if to indicate that he wasn't a part of that. Which of course was a lie because he did help in taunting the said two hyungs. 

“Ok. No judgement. I swear to God. But did Seokjin accept the dare?”

“Well, Suga accepted that obviously. So naturally, Seokjin did too.” He answered with a grin which earned a groan from Seohyun. The two of them looked at each other and laughed together. “Then the two of them resurfaced the water, almost immediately, choking and snorting salt water.”

“Oh God, seriously though...it's only like 3-feet high. At most? Right?” Seohyun mocked, her fingers quoting at the part where she cited Namjoon's words from a while ago. “Man, this place sure did feel like old but happy memories all over it.” Seohyun sighed then put her arms around herself.

Namjoon suddenly wished he brought a sweater.

“My brother never hesitated to bring me here whenever trouble in paradise arises. We'll spend hours talking about thousands of different things—mainly what we'll do in the future. I'm sure this place holds more good memories than anywhere else.” She shared with a faraway voice that Namjoon was sure the girl was currently recalling the so-called great memories. 

Not that he could blame her. 

“Well, Jin was also the one who brought us here.” 

Seohyun blinked at him and if he wasn't mistaken, sadness and a hint of betrayal washed away the grin on her face. 

“I-I'm sure Seokjin ran out of places to think of during that first time he decided to introduce this place to us.” He reasoned.  

He wanted to share her the reason why but he wasn't sure how she'd take the story of V defending his older sister from their ually abusive stepfather that ended up with the bastard dead. Of course, V's side won the case in defense of two domestically-abused minors. But a week after all that, his sister committed suicide.  

Everything drove too close to the brink of madness. Namjoon wasn't exactly sure that he could express the story in a way that it wouldn't lose its justice and rawness. 

“One time, my mom was so sick I refused to go home and see her wither away before my very own eyes...” He choked out tears that weren't there before.

He meant to dish out a story that wasn't too close to his heart but words left his mouth before he could even shut it.  

“Jin and the boys were too nice to say that I only avoided home like the plague because I was too coward to face it—her. So they did everything to take me off my mind and had put up with me throughout day.” He then shot her a sour smile. “Have I told you that I have the best set of friends?” 

Seohyun shot him an equally bitter one. “I'm sorry. I didn't mean to force that out of you.” She tightened her embrace on herself and Namjoon was afraid she'd break her own bones. “I have treated this place with utmost respect but a year ago Seokjin stopped coming home. Yes, a week won't pass without me seeing him somewhere else but he also stopped coming with me here. So I guess when I heard from you that he's with you guys, I kind of lost it.” She heaved out a weighty breath and sat on the edge in Indian-sit style. 

Namjoon decided to sit beside her, his longs legs dangling on the edge instead.

“You must think I'm silly.” She nudged him. 

“Not at all,” He replied with sheer sincerity. 

“Now I can mean it when I say that I'm glad Seokjin brought you guys here. I'm not sure if this place is just that immensely great for broken souls. Or perhaps it's Seokjin? We'll never know.” Seohyun said while a grin began to form in her lips. 

“Hmm...maybe.” Namjoon teased but was sure that the two of them wordlessly acknowledged Jin's deep-seated skills in making someone feel consoled.  

He then watched Seohyun again. Only this time she caught him.

There was a crawling sensation rooted in his mind which could only be appeased by asking her. A question hovered at the tip of his tongue but he bit it, painfully so.

“What is it? You looked like you're dying to ask me something.” 

Namjoon felt one of his eyebrows elevated at that. “How the hell did you know that?” 

“Is that your question?” She and they both chuckled at that. “But no, really. After everything, I think there's no use in shying out.” She pointed out frankly.

If there was ever a luxury he would've desired, being straightforward was the first thing came to his mind. 

“Well, that's true...” Namjoon trailed off as he rubbed his nape. “I just, I swear at times I see you around.” He cleared his throat. “I mean, at first I wonder why a girl like you was wandering around the underground clubs.” 

The girl's nose crinkled and when Namjoon reviewed his words, he almost cursed at the thought the he had slipped.

A girl like you. 

He didn't know what's in her mind right now but damn if he wouldn't give his left nut to read it at that moment. 

If she asked what he meant, he'd rather die than answer honestly. 

“Did you somehow think I was stalking you?” She clarified, obviously amused. 

“N-Not exactly, I-I...” He stuttered. And FYI, he never stuttered. He wouldn't be Rap Monster for nothing. “I just mean, not that you have stalker vibes but you just seem to appear wherever I am. I'm kind of unnerved.”  

He didn't dare continue to say that she starred in one of his dreams or a hundred because that would be pushing it. She's still Jin's kid sister and his newfound friend. 

“So, unnerved huh?” Seohyun mocked in a whisper, as if she's was helping him by trying to not destroy his supposed cool reputation. “I didn't know what I had done to make you feel intimidated but I wasn't stalking you. Just admiring you from afar.” She teased. 

“Shut up.” Namjoon grumbled. 

“Okay, okay...I'm just kidding.” The two of them then went quiet; Namjoon waiting for her to elaborate and Seohyun seemingly preparing herself for it. “I was trying to follow Seokjin.” 

Namjoon nodded. Her explanation made more sense than what he had thought to himself originally—that she was trying to stalk him. 

“As I've said a while ago, he hasn't gone home for a year. And I didn't blame him.” She spoke softly, like the vulnerable girl she often portrayed. Namjoon knew how Jin suffered through verbal abuse from their mother. And being the one closest to Jin, he knew his friend couldn't bear it anymore that Jin had to rent somewhere else instead. 

What he didn't know was that Jin had a younger sister. And why he never took her with him himself. 

“But the house could really get lonely most of the times so when I finally get to know where Seokjin frequented to, I followed him there.” A tight smile replaced her genuine one as Seohyun looked at him again. By that alone, it dawned to him that maybe there's more to that. But he couldn't really force it out of her because though he may look shady, he respected the need of people to be private. 

“Which then brings to why you might have thought I was stalking you instead. Have you been with Seokjin most of the times?” 

Namjoon cringed and nodded. 

“Well there's that.” Seohyun concluded. “Oh God, look!” 

Namjoon was startled but as he looked at the direction of Seohyun's index finger, he saw that the sun was beginning to rise. 

The sky was starting to lose its dark midnight blue color as the ball of blazing yellow ascended. The sun reflected to the body of water below it. 

“So pretty...” Seohyun said dreamily, a soft smile on her face.   

He watched how the muddy brown orbs inside Seohyun's eyes flare. It went from simple dark brown to rich chocolate brown which might have shown that she was interested in the sight before them. Her lower jaw was slightly slack as if she couldn't believe to catch the sunrise. 

“Yes. So pretty...” Namjoon said as he watched her watching the sunrise.

//

“Butterfly Like a Butterfly
Just like a Butterfly Bu Butterfly

Butterfly Like a Butterfly
Just like a Butterfly Bu Butterfly

Your eyebrows slightly grimacing at the sunlight
Gently shaking your fine soft hair
Intoxicated by your scent,
My heart is tickling

Like the way you are my cheeks
Like the dust drifting along freely
You're right there
But why are you beyond my reach?”

“What the did Hoseok meant when he said that you and Yoongi have decided to back out?” Namjoon's tone was quiet but he might as well have snarled at his friend. His friend instantly knew what he was talking about since Jin even had the nerve to grimace as he faced Namjoon.

Jin never grimaced. 

Namjoon never used his friends' birth names in a conversation either.

“I think you should calm down first—”

“ NO, Seokjin. Do you want to know what I think? I think you should start explaining yourself right at this second before I decide to do the job myself.” He sneered. He was so furious that he felt like there's hot air steaming out from the tips of his ears.  

He could almost taste the vengeance he desired and was even more thrilled at the thought that the friends he considered as his own brothers would be there with him. Only to discover that the said brothers backed out; most especially the two friends he least expected to weasel out from that.  

Namjoon couldn't welcome the pained expression marring Jin's face. 

“Look brother,” Jin spoke softly. Namjoon remembered that it was the same tone Jin used whenever he talked with his younger sister, Seohyun.  

As if Namjoon needed coddling.  

As if he was a cornered wild animal in need of caution.  

“You know even as we speak right now, no one from the group would ever leave you out there alone. I could not just betray a friend, a brother. I didn't intend to let you hear it like that from a drunk Hoseok.” Jin frowned. “I was honestly going to talk to you about it.” 

Namjoon clenched his fists to restrain himself from punching Jin. “That didn't even make any sense. You just sprouted a bunch of lame– excuses.” His friend was about to respond but he cut him off harshly with a dismissive hand. “You wouldn't betray me yada yada yada...but you've all agreed to me when I say that bastard needed to learn a lesson. Before. What's the difference now?” 

And as if everything clicked at that time, he threw Jin a disgusted look. “It was because of that cop, right?” He laughed but it held no humor in his eyes. Hurt laced his sentence instead. He didn't know exactly why but his guts just said so.

There was an incident quite a year ago wherein they met a cop who was scouting the den (i.e. the term used by the locals who knew the underground fights happening in the secret basement of an infamous night club in the city). The cop happened to investigate some illegal activities conducted inside the notorious establishment so he warned them to stay away. Their group stayed away but not because of the cop entirely. The underground fights were cancelled for two weeks and were the only reason they were ever there.

But every now and then, Namjoon recalled Jin approaching the said cop. Talking. No one really mentioned anything especially since it's Jin but now Namjoon couldn't help himself but be pissed off now at the actions of his friend.

He then added with a scoff, “What? You two are buddying it up now? Suddenly you're from the right side now? Must be real easy with all that excess money.” 

When Jin hardened at the last statement, Namjoon realized he went too far. And damn if it was too late to get it all back. His anxieties and insecurities basically seeped out of his skin. Deep inside he knew it was far from easy for his friend. He was just so enraged that he couldn't think straight. 

Now he was the one who made excuses. 

“We had a plan Seokjin.” His tone was now desperate, clawing, grasping at straws that were never there in the first place. “Do you even remember that time when I really have to bring my mother to the hospital but couldn't, so I bring her in your apartment instead? New bruises covered her already battered body. , the old wounds haven't even healed yet. She was barely breathing even, Seokjin! Does that ring any bell to you? Because I swear you seem to not remember any of that.” 

Jin's carefully placed hair was now disheveled as he continued to run his fingers through the strands. He looked like he nearly pulled off his scalp from his head. “I remember that time as clear as the sky in daylight, Namjoon. I was there. , I was the one who cleaned the wounds remember? That was one of the things I would never dare forget.” 

“Then I don't understand why the not—”

“Why are you two fighting?” A troubled Seohyun appeared all of a sudden, stopping Namjoon from his outcry. She was shaken but she stood still. “Tell me what's wrong.”

Namjoon immediately averted his feral eyes. Far, far away from the delicate soul. Violence practically oozed out of his eyes.

He was pent up in hardly contained fury that he almost let the fact that she's in the vicinity slip from his memory. Before Hoseok got drunk and spilled the beans, they were actually camped out of Jungkook's trailer. The trailer house was by the beach so they decided to make a bonfire there after sunset.

The confrontation with Jin felt so dark and distressing that Namjoon thought the bonfire was a decade ago.  

“Seohyun, leave us now. This is between me and your brother.” He would never let her see him at such vulnerability. Could never.

But the girl had another idea so she held his arm firmly. She then turned to her brother and looked pleadingly. Hell, she could have tossed that trick to Namjoon right at that moment and his knees would buckle in an instant. Fortunately, it wasn't him on the receiving end.

“, I said leave it Seohyun. I'm not kidding.” He cursed at the same time Jin confessed, “He intended to to burn down his father's gasoline station into ashes.”

Namjoon threw out more creative expletives but the siblings didn't heed him any attention. If it was a normal situation, Jin would've definitely soaped Namjoon's mouth right there and then. Hell, if it was a common occurrence, he would have not cursed in front of Seohyun in the first place.

“What did you mean he's going to burn down his father's gasoline station into ashes?” Seohyun demanded her brother as an incredulous look passed her face. “Namjoon would never do that to his father.” She insisted with reverence.

Namjoon welcomed the guilt that slammed him figuratively through the girl's fervor at the thought of him not doing anything like that. “That bastard is not my father.” Namjoon just gritted out. 

Seohyun whipped her eyes from her brother to Namjoon, back and forth, as she tried to weigh whomever of the two should she listen to. All the meanwhile, Jin ignored his younger sister's hand on Namjoon's arm. A look then passed Jin's face, as if he's a bulb that lit up suddenly.

Almost instantaneously, Namjoon feared that.

“Why don't you talk him out of it Seo? You know, get his head out of his .” He drawled, crossing his arms for emphasis.

No, no, no, no, no...Namjoon chanted in his head.

It was downright the dirtiest ploy ever and he could seriously clap at Jin like he's a pro or something like that. Simply cunning. Absolutely sly.

If the -eating grin was any indication.

Namjoon couldn't help himself but growl.

“What is Seokjin even talking about?” Seohyun nudged him as she eyed her brother skipping away from the two of them.

Namjoon looked away, rubbing his nape. It felt feverish and was sure it was because blood raged in his veins. Talk about high blood pressure. In his peripheral vision, Seohyun leaned closer and eyed him as she awaited his explanation. Not that he owed her one but if he could actually deny her. He exhaled harshly as he pried away her fingers from his arm. He rolled his shoulders as if to prep himself up for the verbal fight that would surely go down badly between him and Seohyun.

Damn Seokjin and his freaking little sister!

“Namjoon?” Seohyun tried again, but her question obviously equipped with the mix of gentleness, patience and caution. 

“Look—” Namjoon started off. Somewhere between the brain signals and imaginary exclamation points, he knew he should have treaded carefully. But his mouth went off and continued like a reckless weapon. “—you can't possibly fathom why I do things the way I do. You won't really understand. No. You don't even know what really happened.”

Yeah. Maybe if he recorded what he said and listened to it for like forever maybe then he would be able to believe what he had just spouted.

His gaze slid to the girl beside him. And if the onslaught of his stupidity and insensitivity didn't tip him off the edge, then the sight of her might have just killed him on the spot. Instead of glaring at him or calling him out on his bull, Seohyun didn't meet his eyes. Instead of laying judgement to the way he mouthed off, defeat was all over her face. And that messed him up; the fact that he was the one who put that expression on her. 

“Seohyun, I...”

“I didn't mean to, okay? I know what you guys thought of me. I mean, what kind of sister lets her mother beat the out of her own brother then consoles the very same mother instead of the brother who was lying almost unconsciously on the kitchen floor?” Namjoon flinched at the humorless laugh Seohyun let out after her monologue. Her wide, wild eyes were staring off to the space in front her, not exactly right at it but rather through it, probably all the meanwhile welcoming the assault of painful flashbacks in her mind. “And I will always hate myself for that. I hate myself enough for the two of us because never did Seokjin hate me for being the favored child,” Seohyun spat.

Namjoon tried to reached the girl, wanting to shake her from her reverie because it genuinely pained him to see her in a state of self-inflicted pain. But Seohyun steeled herself at his touch, angling away from him as if his hand would burn her skin. Shame was a hard pill to swallow. 

“But you're wrong Namjoon.” Seohyun faced him then, fury eating away the defeat that he had put there. “Oh, I may definitely not know exactly what happened for you to decide to do that but have you ever thought of what could happen afterwards? What do you think burning your father's establishment will do? Will doing that help your mom heal physical wounds and erase emotional scars?” She taunted, her eyes narrowing at him as if to make a point.

He made a noise of protest but Seohyun slashed her hand in front of them. “No. Never. And what then, after? You think you're above the law? No repercussions? What if you went to jail? What if your father lived through it? What if you went to jail and your father lived through it? What about your mother then? But you know what? I actually understand. I do not approve but I do understand perfectly. You're not the only one who have thought about ending a monster in behalf of a loved one, Namjoon.” Seohyun choked on her own silent tears and then brushed grimly those tears away using a clenched fist.

And before Namjoon could do anything else, the girl forced herself to turnher back at him and proceeded to walk out. She bumped with V and Jungkook who were both startled when the girl suddenly turned to face Namjoon for the last time.

“And you know what else Namjoon? you! I hope you'll forget your freaking matchsticks or-or your father's station runs out of gasoline!” She snarled, red coloring her whole face and neck. Whether it was due to anger or embarrassment, he didn't know. She marched out of there and went to her brother.

Namjoon was left speechless in horror and almost in amusement.

In the background, V was snorting while Jungkook was clicking his tongue. The two watched the whole scenario to and fro as if confused whether whom between Namjoon and Seohyun to gawk at.

“Damn, don't you think little Seohyunnie is learning real quick from us?” V mock-whispered. Consideration was definitely not his friends' strongest attribute. “Man, she did know what and how to preach. I couldn't have put such words as eloquent as her.”

“In short, Namjoon hyung got his handed out by a girl...” Jungkook mock-whispered back at V.

Namjoon ignored the antics of the two altogether as his eyes slid back to Seohyun. Her shoulders were hunched, her back to him. Jin comforted his sister while he also threw daggers at Namjoon's way. That's Jin for you, multitasking master.

Namjoon rubbed his glassy eyes by the heel of his palm, sighing as exhaustion finally descended him.

All this time, he subconsciously put Seohyun in the category of damsel-in-distress when in truth, she's one of the strongest people he's ever met.

He just prayed he didn't break such a strong spirit because he knew all too well that even the strong ones could fall apart.

A/N: Um, wtaf right? I'm so sorry I still haven't finished this. It's been a year already oh god. Tbh, I kind of forget how I intended to play this story out. And basically, I can't contain the whole idea now in a threeshot lmao. I might have to put up, like maybe, five chapters? I guess the plot wouldn't make any sense if I'm to condense it so that's that. Anyway, hope I'm not boring you guys. jfc I'm so rusty nowadays (lack of practice). I've stopped writing for a long time so it might take me a while before I can finally get my groove you know. comments are appreciated btw! Thanks for those who are still with me hihi

ps basically i've kind of twisted this fic altogether. i honestly forgot how I have thought this goes. ugh, total fail, i know. forgive me?