(Might make a small sequel after)

Written for Taobei fic exchange on Lj! Kind of proud how this turned out except for the end >.< 

But I'm back after my year long Hiatus with my first ever Exo fic!!! I hope everyone enjoys~

 

“Are you excited?” Sehun mumbled, leaning back into a computer chair as he swiveled around. Today was the day Tao’s life would change forever, he was finally chosen to meet his life partner. A perfect person the government picked out for him, his perfect match he will share his life with forever.

 

“Kind of, I think,” Tao walked around his room, shoving the clothes he absolutely needed for his move. “I’m a little nervous, honestly.”

 

Sehun hummed as he stopped spinning, waiting until Tao turned his back so he could grab a few picture frames of himself and secretly put them inside the bag. “You shouldn’t be, I can’t wait until my partner is picked.” he stalled, glancing at Tao from the corner of his eye as he continued to hide the picture frames.

 

“I guess,” Tao sighed, looking to the side to grab the congratulatory letter they sent him a few days ago. “It’s just a little weird to think I’m going to be living with someone I never met before.”

 

“It’s what supposed to happen,”

 

“I know, Hun, but do you ever think about what could have happened if The War didn’t happen? I mean, how would the world be different with love?”

 

Sehun paused for a moment, lifting his head up to look at the back of Tao’s. “You know we aren’t supposed to talk about that.” he whispered, staring at the security panel in the corner of the room. “They could be listening.”

 

“I know, I just,” Tao ran his fingers through his hair in frustrations, he knew they could be confined if the government heard what they were talking about.  “I’m just nervous, that’s all, forget what I just said.”

 

Sehun squinted his eyes, not really believing Tao, but deciding to ignore his sudden question. “Everything will be great, ok?” He stood up, throwing his arm around Tao’s shoulders. “Trust the system.”

~*~

 

“Huang Zitao,” a voice boomed and Tao shot up, palms sweaty as the man that stood in front of the door looked down at his clipboard. The room was almost empty, Sehun still sitting next to him, staring straight at Tao’s face with excitement.

 

“Call me when you’re done, I need to know everything, send me your new address, send me pictures, everything will be okay, good luck.” He babbled rapidly, pulling his friend into a quick hug before letting him go with a nervous smile. “Bye,”

 

“Bye,” Tao whispered back, taking a few steps back as he stared at his best friend. This was it, the beginning of his new life. He was going to meet his life partner, the person he would live with, pay the bills with, share everything with for the rest of his life. Tao hoped the person was nice, he hoped he liked music and fashion just like he did, hoped he was patient and kind.

 

“Welcome,” the man said, smiling as he held the door open. “to your new future. Don’t be nervous, you’re the last one.” he grinned, watching the way Tao walked stiffly into the new room.

 

It was massive, crowded with people of all different ages sitting in neat rows, the room twice as big as a gymnasium. Tao blinked a few times before he found an empty seat to sit in, back straight as the man began to walk on the stage in front of everyone.

 

“Welcome,” he beamed, looking around the room with open arms. “Today is the day you have all been waiting for, you have finally been selected. Congratulations.”

 

Claps rang around the room, surprising Tao for a moment before he began to clap with them. He looked at the faces around him, their expressionless features sending shivers down his spine. One of these people was the person he was supposed to spend the rest of his life with, he felt himself begin to sweat.

 

“Let us begin, remember, you will be handed a key to your new home and a list of jobs selected specifically for you once your partner is chosen by this device.” He motioned to the sleek machine next to him. “I think you all know how this works, but I will explain it to you anyway. Once I call your name, you will place your hand onto the plate right here.” he motioned again to the white device near him, hand smoothing near a transparent panel with an outline of hand. “It will take a moment to scan you, before picking your life partner. This machine has been collecting data on each and every single one of you here since the day you were born. It picks the person that will best suit you, you have nothing to worry about.”

 

The room is dead silent as the man looked down at his clipboard, smiling cheekily to himself. “Park Chanyeol,” he boomed, peering up from his board and into the crowd. A large hand sticks up immediately, a young looking man standing up from his chair, long legs walking up the few stairs to the stage. They smiled at each other, Chanyeol bowing a couple of times before turning to the machine and without a second thought pressing his hand onto the plate.

 

It only took a few seconds, a bright beam of blue light shooting up from the appliance that turned into a holographic screen.

 

Tao held his breath, this could be it, he could be his.

 

“Byun Baekhyun.” the machine spewed in a sweet voice, a slow video of the man laughing coming into view, repeating and repeating as Tao exhaled the loudest breath he has ever taken. Claps sounded again, the boy laughing on the screen standing up from his seat with a surprised face.

 

“Congratulations!” The announcer applauded too, motioning the newcomer to collect their key and the pieces of papers the machine printed out, the two men bumping their shoulders together in a teasing manner, smiling like they knew a big secret everyone else didn’t. Tao could only hope he was like that with his life partner. “May you live your lives successfully.”

When they left the stage the man looked back down at his clipboard. “Zhang Yixing!”

 

The process was grueling, Tao’s palms sweating as the computer churned name after name, the short second videos of faces on the screen determining their future forever. It felt like years before Tao’s name was called and he froze.

 

“Zitao?” he repeated again, Tao taking in a stuttering breath before lifting his hand up. His mind almost completely blank, legs taking small steps to the stage. This was it, this was finally it.

 

The pad on the machine was surprisingly cold, Tao noticed when he shakingly brought his palm to it. He held his breath as it began to hum, the appliance vibrating under him and then the blue light appeared.

 

Tao couldn’t look up, his eyes staring at his hands still on the pad when the sweet voice almost singing out a name. “Do Kyungsoo!”

 

He heard the claps before he could see them, his eyes still focused, too scared to face the man that was walking up the stage, to look at the short video of his life partner staring into the crowd.

 

Do Kyungsoo, that name kept ringing in his head, everything moving in slow motion as his thought about how things would change. He would have his own home, a job, he wouldn’t see the women that raised him in the labs since he was born, the friends he had grown to care for in his district home. Everything would change, he would be with his life partner, the person made to support him when he needed it, to fend off the loneliest of leaving his district.

 

They said that humans couldn’t live without touch, without a companion, that after The War, when the sickness was banned, when love was considered a disease that had to be cured, the loneliness killed people. So the creators of the new world developed the life partner system, someone that would help support you when They deemed you ready enough to live on your own.

 

Tao bit back the nervous jump when he felt a hand on the small of his back, his head hanging low as the claps began to die down, the noise ringing in his ears.

 

“Congratulations!” the announcer pushed him a little bit, the list of jobs and key popping out and Tao just looked at them. The hangul reading Do Kyungsoo in big bold letters. Emergency medicine, behavioral therapist, mechanical engineer, the list of possible of careers were astounding, Tao’s eyes widening as he turned his head to look at his partner for the first time.

 

He was short, with black hair that reached right above his ears in no particular style, ordinary, plain, a little scary, with the way he was squinting at him, round eyes boring into his own. He couldn’t believe that someone like him, probably raised in one of the better districts, was the perfect match for someone like himself.

 

“May you live your lives successfully!” Claps rang around the room again as his life partner’s pale hand reached forward, picking up both career list papers and the key before studying him one more time. A touch on his wrist broke him out of his trance and Tao flinched, instantly moving to bow at the announcer politely before walking down the stage.

 

They were moved to the part of the room where the life partner’s were already chosen for them, the whole event going by in a fast blur once he sat down, the other man’s fingers wrapping around his wrist. It was almost as comforting as it was maddening.

 

He had to call Sehun.

~*~

When the life partner ceremony was done the place was a mess, bodies moving everywhere, people talking to their friends congratulating each other, saying goodbye to each other. Tao searched the place for someone he knew, standing up when Kyungsoo pulled him by his wrist, the other man watching him for a moment, tugging his wrist silently with round eyes.

 

He didn’t say anything, just pulled him in the direction he wanted, leading him out the entrance and into a flying black limousine.

 

“Wow,” Tao breathed to himself, touching the leather seat slowly. Kyungsoo was definitely from a better district, Tao was too scared to ask from where, too afraid to look at the other man because he knew he was reading both their list of jobs in silent judgement.

 

In his district Tao was selected to study education, a woman that took care of them teaching him Chinese and making him take kung fu classes to correct his rowdy behavior since the government wouldn’t send them a counselor to help. Tao was grateful, but now he felt embarrassed.

 

His life partner handed him his list when he was done. Martial arts trainer, Chinese language teacher, Tao eyed the list with his breath held, Children’s counselor, Business operator, Logistics, Runway model. The list blew him away, runway model? How would his friends back home react if they saw this, he didn’t even know what logistics was. Excitement began to bubble in his gut.

 

His life partner moved beside him, round eyes still watching him intently. “Uh,” Tao hesitated. “Hi,” he cleared his throat, maybe he wanted him to introduce himself. “My name is Huang Zitao, but you can call me Tao, I guess we’re life partners now?”

 

A blank stare, then silence, the other man nodding leisurely. Kyungsoo didn’t talk much Tao concluded, after an awkward car ride, of just staring and nodding at whatever Tao blubbered out. The apartment was spacious and grand, a lot bigger than he expected. Kyungsoo didn’t seem to notice though, stepping in and turning to Tao.

 

“My room is the first one on the right, you can take the second one. Our belongs will be brought to us in a few hours, our mothers are getting it done.” He looked at the holo on his wrist, his blank expression morphing into a small smile at whatever he saw there, a message the other man couldn’t see. “Maybe one hour.”

 

“Ok,” Tao nodded, shifting in place looking at his own holo. He had to call Sehun, he definitely had to call him.

 

~*~

 

The next day Tao woke up to loud laughter, it practically felt like the walls were shaking with the sheer volume of it. It couldn’t be Kyungsoo, seeing as the man didn’t laugh once since they met yesterday.

 

With shaky legs Tao rolled off the bed, looking around he began to search for something suitable to wear for the people in their new apartment. Still half asleep, he managed to find a clean shirt and a pair of pants lying around. Good enough.

 

Tao peaked out the corner of his door quietly, fingers holding onto the edge as he caught sight of his life partner in front of two men.

 

“Partnered life is so good, who would have thought I would be paired up with this loser?” One of them laughed, his shoulder bumping the other man’s next to him.

 

“Yeah, just my luck, really.” The other grumbled.

 

Kyungsoo smiled a little, a small, pretty smile warming his face as he rolled his eyes until they met with his own, his grin faltering. “Hello,” Kyungsoo said loudly, Tao freezing in place when the two other men turned around.

 

“Is that your life partner?”

 

“Chanyeol, please don’t--”

 

“Hello!” Chanyeol beamed, jumping up from the couch, Kyungsoo’s head falling down with every step Chanyeol took, the other man grinning a little terrifyingly as he threw half of his body on top of the couch to get a better look at him. “I wanted to introduce myself sooner, but you were sleeping. My name is Chanyeol, and I hear your name is Tao? Kyungsoo didn’t say much about you, you know, he isn’t really into the whole life partner thing, he’s a nice guy once you get to know him I promise.”

 

“Chanyeol!”

 

“What?” He questioned innocently.

 

“Shut up and sit down,” Tao heard Kyungsoo growl, the man on the couch snickering as he began to stretch to the other.

 

“Yeah Chanyeol sit down, I didn’t even get to introduce myself yet, stop hogging the life partner.”

 

“He’s not your life partener,” Chanyeol grumbled.

 

“Jealous?”

 

“As if,” Chanyeol scoffed, motioning for Tao to follow him to the couch, Chanyeol sitting on it with a jump. “You wish I was jealous,”

 

They looked familiar, Tao swearing he saw them before, maybe in passing, maybe on his way to the ceremony, maybe-- oh “Oh, you’re from the ceremony.”

 

Chanyeol quirked a brow, looking at his life partner for a second. “Yeah, that’s us.”

 

“We’re your next door neighbors, Kyungsoo’s old friends,” The man sitting next to him said, smiling softly. “Nice to meet you, I’m Baekhyun.”

 

Tao bowed shortly, deciding to sit next to Kyungsoo on a chair. “Nice to meet you,” he mumbled back, the two men smiling at him.

 

“You’ll be seeing a lot of us,” Chanyeol laughed a little weirdly, bumping shoulders with Baekhyun as Kyungsoo sighed. “We’ll be great friends, I’m sure.”

 

And Tao did, almost every single day after that, the two men always there before he got up, their loud laughter ringing into his room.

 

“We are always here because we like you guys,” Baekhyun snorted when Tao asked him about it one day, eye smile in full force.

 

He never asked him that again, since they were nice and sometimes Chanyeol and Kyungsoo would cook Kimchi spaghetti with sausages together and that was nice. It reminded him of his old district, when the women that raised them would teach the kids how to cook for fun.

 

“Kyungsoo, Chanyeol and I were raised in the science and technology district,” Baekhyun told him one day when both their life partners were out. They’ve been talking more recently, especially after Tao picked his career as a martial arts instructor, instead of any of those fancy pantsy jobs (Kyungsoo could deal with that), so he had a lot of time on his hands. He didn’t want to put years of training to waste by working an office job. “Our parents put us all in the same group since there were so many of us, they had to split the children.”

 

“You call the people that raised you your parents?”

 

Baekhyun made a face. “Of course, don’t you? We all had our specific parental figure, some had more than others, Chanyeol had a dad, while Kyungsoo had a mom, I had both.

 

“No, we didn’t do that.” Tao shook his head, it was odd. “In our district we only had women raising us.”

 

“Oh,” Baekhyun furrowed his eyebrows. “I’m sorry, I forgot some districts are different, you must have been raised in one of the Miscellaneous districts.”

 

“Yeah,” Tao bit his lip. “I thought… we weren’t supposed to have that, parents, I mean, after The War--” he trailed off, not knowing how Baekhyun would react to the mention of The War.

 

“We’re different,” is all he said, changing the subject quickly to stories about their childhood and his job as a scientist in one of the new labs.

 

Baekhyun said that Kyungsoo was always quiet, a little short tempered and with more time he would begin to open up. Not that Tao minded, Kyungsoo’s ability to listen to him ramble on about the kids he was teaching was great, especially since Tao couldn’t call Sehun most of the time because of his classes and curfew.

 

Tao did call Sehun frequently though, the boy constantly asking questions about partnered life, expressing his fear of never being chosen. They both know he was going to be, Sehun just had this way of complaining for years until it happened.

 

Kyungsoo spoke to Sehun once, the shorter man sitting next to him on the couch when he got home in his scrubs.

 

“Oh Kyungsoo,” Tao said surprise in his voice, dropping his watch with Sehun’s face being projected near his thigh.

 

“You’re home early.”

 

“Kyungsoo? Your life partner? Let me talk to him, Tao I can’t see anything!” Tao could hear Sehun whine loudly.

 

“Oh yeah,” Kyungsoo replied simply, watching Tao’s face morph into horror when he walked towards him and lifted his arm, Sehun's eyes in clear view. “Hello,”

“Is this him, Tao? Your life partner?” he was excited, pushing his face closer to his watch to get a better look at him.

 

“Yes, this is Kyungsoo, nice to meet you, Tao often talks about you.”

 

“Ah!” Sehun gasps. “This is so exciting, I have so many questions!”

 

That night Tao barely got any sleep, Sehun spewing questions out even after his curfew, Kyungsoo indulging him with a soft smile. That traitor.

 

 

~*~

 

After learning that the martial arts school Tao worked at was near his laboratory, Baekhyun began to pick Tao up from school everyday, Tao leaving at six pm with his gym bag he finds Baekhyun sitting on a bench in front of his class, lab coat still on.

 

“Hey! How was class?” He asked every day, making small talk until they reached their apartments. Today, was a little different, Baekhyun trailing in behind him wasn’t anything new, but it was 11pm and Baekhyun was still sitting on Tao’s couch, sitting through whatever Tao wanted to watch even when he normally left at nine when Chanyeol gets home.

 

“Can I ask you a question?” Baekhyun asked out of the blue, raising the volume on the television, keeping his voice low.

 

“Yes?” Tao questioned back, glancing at him from the corner of his eyes then down at the controller in his hand. They’re watching a documentary on elephants, about a mother elephant’s life with her calf. Her calf had just died, when Baekhyun turned to him.

 

“Can you keep a secret?”

 

Tao his lips. “I think so?”

 

Baekhyun stayed silent for a moment, eyes staring at the corner of his room before whispering again. “Have you ever watched movies?”

 

That’s an odd question. “Well, yeah, we’re watching one right now,”

 

“No,” he said even lower. “Movies, movies, like the ones they used to play before It happened.

 

Oh, Tao has heard of those before, the forbidden things they weren’t allowed to watch. Movies about the sickness, love.

 

“Of course not, are you out of your mind?”

 

“Oh, forget I asked.” Baekhyun inhaled, holding his breath as he lowered the volume to how it was before.

 

There was an awkward silence, Baekhyun’s eyes boring at the television, his body stiff. Tao lowered his head. “It’s,” he began biting his lower lip. “not like I never wanted to, it's just that, you know how it is.”

 

“Yeah...” Another awkward silence. “Do you want to?”

 

“How?”

 

Baekhyun shrugged, hands digging in his pocket as he raised the volume on the television again. “What if, hypothetically, I said I might have a few on me right now, you know, hypothetically.”

 

Tao blinked, that couldn’t be true. All the movies, the old books, everything was destroyed, taken down a long, long time ago. “I don’t understand.”

 

“If I did have some on me,” Baekhyun turned to him, hand pulling something small out of his jeans. “would you watch them with me?” He opened his hand to reveal a small ancient looking usb, almost the size of a fingernail.

 

“That’s” Tao began, gulping as Baekhyun motioned the usb closer to him. “Baekhyun, I don’t know.”

 

This was dangerous, Tao’s hands already beginning to sweat with what he was propositioning. If anyone found out about this, they could be taken away, put into prison, this was illegal.

 

“We watch it all the time, Chanyeol and I, he’s in the police force so no one will suspect a thing, trust me.” Baekhyun raised the volume again. “Look, if it makes you uncomfortable, we don’t have to do it, I just wanted to ask.”

 

“No, I do!” Tao yelled before thinking, dipping his head down after and lowering his voice again. “I just, don’t know how?”

 

He didn’t even need to finish his sentence, Baekhyun raising one finger to silence him as he took a long wire from his pocket. He must keep a lot in there, Tao concluded.

 

“Chanyeol has this thing where if you pull it into your computer,  it erases everything you did during that time and it’s literally impossible to trace. He copped it from a superior when his dad was in the military force, old fool.”

 

“Computer?”

 

“Oh, you know those old things they used to use before holograms? Yeah, no one uses them anymore which makes it even less traceable, trust me, we’ve been doing this for years.” Baekhyun waves his hand excitedly. “Hold on, I let me get my laptop.”

 

“You planned this!” Tao whisper shouts as Baekhyun hops off the couch. The other man snickers, slipping out the door quickly before Tao could say anything else.

 

He sat there for a few seconds, nervously picking at the skin around his nails when Baekhyun came back. A large, sleek thing, under his armpit, his hands holding onto a black cable covered in weird looking stickers.

 

“Come on, we can’t watch it in the middle of the living room,” Baekhyun laughed, extending his hand for Tao to take.

 

“Here hold this,” Baekhyun said, handing Tao the cable. He opened the sleek thing, Tao watched the black screen stir to life and turn into a screen with a picture of Chanyeol.

 

Baekhyun hunched his shoulder to block the view. “Don’t look at the screen,” he said a little shyly. “I swear Chanyeol puts pictures of himself to piss me off,” he murmured to himself, the sound of a loud ping making Tao jump when Baekhyun put the tiny usb into one of the holes.

 

“Hand me the cable,” Baekhyun laughed, pulling Tao closer to himself, smiling wider as he jumped at another sound.

 

“It makes strange noises,” Tao sniffed with embarrassment, stepping behind Baekhyun to watch what he was doing above his shoulders.

 

“Sure,” he chuckled. “So what are you up to watching? I have other movies other than...you know? Everything I have is really good, I promise.”

 

“Uh,” Tao whispered, looking nervously at the box in the corner of the screen. “Anything is fine?”

 

The other scoffed. “I’ll start you off easy. Don’t want to scare you off the first time.”

 

“Are we going to ..?” Tao questioned, silently hoping Baekhyun knew what he wanted to ask.

 

“Only if you want to,” he shrugged, walking towards the light to turn it off. “We have a few hours until Kyungsoo comes over, we can watch two if you want.”

 

“Um,” Tao breathed. “Okay.”

 

He trusted Baekhyun, he seemed nice.

 

“Don’t worry, I have lots of PG movies, it’ll be fine.” Baekhyun smiled, opening multiple folders. “Those are movies for children.”

 

“You have a lot,” Tao whispered amazed, watching Baekhyun scroll through different titles.

 

“Yeah, we’ve been collecting movies since we were kids,” he waved one of his hand nonchalantly. “It was Chanyeol’s idea, he’s a bad influence.”

 

Tao bit his lip. “I guess that makes you the bad influence in this case.”

 

Baekhyun stilled, fingers halting their motion on the pad of the laptop, before he burst into laughter. “I guess that does.”

 

Baekhyun continued to scroll movie titles, stopping on one next to a different folder that caught Tao’s eye labeled, ~*Secret folder~*.  

 

“Secret folder?” Tao questioned, scooting closer to the screen. “What’s that?”

 

Baekhyun choked, coughing loudly, scrolling down quickly as he pounded on his chest.

 

“Oh my, are you okay?” Tao panicked, rubbing Baekhyun’s back quickly. “Do you need water?”

 

“No, no!” He coughed again, gasping for breath. “It’s nothing, let's just watch a movie!”

 

They decided on an old movie, Baekhyun repeating that it was new in the sense it was a few years before The War, but it made no difference to Tao. Baekhyun scooting closer to explain all the weird devices they used, to whisper meanings for all the old slang that didn’t make sense. It was weird, oddly funny, but mostly confusing, with a lot of touching and odd mouth movement. Baekhyun blushing when he asked him what the people were doing.

 

“I still don’t understand,” Tao whispered when the movie was over, eying the security panel closely, counting the seconds between the green light sequences. “Why won’t they let us watch this, I don’t get why this is wrong?”

 

“They don’t tell you this in your district, in most districts actually, but The War was started by something stupid, a war broke out all over the world when the president of China assassinated the 46th’s president of the United States during a union meeting. What They say is that the Chinese president was in love with the first lady, some say it was his son, no one really knows, but almost every single country had fought in it and then each created a wall after it was done.” Baekhyun shook his head. “Love makes you do crazy things, they teach you that in our district, we’re supposed to be the leaders of the New World, they keep everyone else in the dark, it’s a huge secret no one else is supposed to know.”

 

“But I still don’t understand!”

 

“It’s crazy, what’s to understand?” Baekhyun questioned, looking Tao straight in the eyes.

 

“I guess you’re right,” he sighed. “At least, the movie was good.”

 

“Wasn’t it!”

 

~*~

 

Movies became a recurring thing after that day, when Kyungsoo worked overtime and Tao came home, Baekhyun was right behind him with his laptop under his armpit. Baekhyun showed him music too, the old boy bands that drove girls wild back in the day. They were cute, Baekhyun pointing at the members that were his favorites, covering his squeals with a cough whenever one of them winked their way. He also gave Tao this small little music rectangle that Tao took to bed every night, headphones in his ears.

 

“Have you ever been in love?” Tao asked while they were in bed, movie credits going down on Baekhyun’s laptop as they lay on their backs.

 

“I think so,” He breathed, Tao turning his head to look at the older man in shock.

 

“How did it feel like?”

 

“Scary,” Baekhyun admitted. “Sometimes it feels like I’m choking and they’re my only source of oxygen, then sometimes it feels like I’m floating and without them I can never be happy, it’s confusing.”

 

“Are you in love now?”

 

There was a long pause, Baekhyun closing his eyes and inhaling deeply. “Yes,”

 

Tao’s heart skipped a beat. “Is it with Chanyeol?”

 

“Oh God, no.” Baekhyun sputtered, rolling over onto his stomach. “Why would anyone be in love with him? Now that should be considered a sickness.”

 

“You’re mean.” Tao laughed, pushing Baekhyun until he rolled over again, joining in with a loud laugh himself. They settled into soft chuckles, the laptop completely black when Baekhyun rolled near him.

 

“How about you?”

 

“What about me?” Tao rolled his eyes.

 

“Have you ever been in love?”

 

A loud scoff. “I barely learned about it a few weeks ago Baekhyun.”

 

“So what? Love happens when you least expect it.”

 

“Sure,” Tao yawned, ignoring the way his heart beated with the way Baekhyun was looking at him.

 

Tao wished he believed Baekhyun that day, before all this happened. He didn’t  even know what it was, but one day Baekhyun and Chanyeol were over for dinner, Baekhyun attempting to help Kyungsoo with dinner, bangs in a little bun above his forehead, a pink apron around his body and Tao was gone. It felt like all the air was knocked out of his lungs, it happened all at the same time, his stomach was in knots with the way Baekhyun smiled with his eyes, the way he laughed loudly when whatever he cut ended up flying across the room.

 

“You okay?” Chanyeol broke Tao out of his thoughts, snapping in front of his face with an amused expression, following his stare up to Baekhyun.

 

“Oh? Yeah!” He almost yelled, jumping from his seat with a start. Baekhyun turned to him with a confused smile, scrunching his nose to before turning back to whatever he was cutting.

 

Needless to say, Tao didn’t get any sleep that night, ears plugged with the songs Baekhyun picked specifically for him, no one else but him.

 

 

“Are there any movies with two boys?” Tao whispered when he was over in Baekhyun’s apartment, Chanyeol sleeping on the couch after a long shift at the police department, snoring softly. Tao’s cheeks were stinging red, Baekhyun giving him a confused look.

 

“Yeah,” he hesitated, squinting his eyes. “I have really good Japanese ones.”

 

“No Korean ones?” His cheeks were on fire now.

 

“Uh,” Baekhyun scrolled down quickly. “A few, why? Want to watch one?”

 

“Well yeah, you’ve only been showing me girl and boy ones.” Tao tried to say nonchalantly, the redness in his face obvious now. “I’m just curious.” But in reality, Tao was beginning to sweat like crazy.

 

“I have some, but,” He scratched the back of his head. “They don’t really have happy endings and most of them are really sad.”

 

His heart sank. “What, why?”

 

“They weren’t really excepted, people who liked the same gender. I mean, later on, they were, but the prejudice still stayed and it stayed in the movies too.”

 

“Well that ,” Tao grumbled, kicking his legs as he tried to find a comfortable position on his stomach.

 

“Yeah, we always get the short end of the stick, huh?” Baekhyun tried to jest, but let out an almost silent gasped after realizing what he said. “I mean, not us, but, uh, yeah.”

 

It was small things like this that confused Tao, Baekhyun putting on a movie with two boys like Tao suggest anyway, ignoring the awkward air that began to form around them.

 

The movie was horrible and Tao carried like a baby by the end of it, Baekhyun holding him close and wiping his tears away, even when it started to mix with snot and he looked ugly. Baekhyun just laughed and pulled him closer.

 

“You big baby,” he teased, thumbs swiping at the tears that managed to trail down his neck.

 

“I hate that movie, I never want to watch that movie ever again.” He cried, pushing his face towards Baekhyun’s neck.

 

“Life is so unfair.”

 

“I told you they were sad.” Baekhyun soothed, running his fingers through the back of Tao’s head, smoothing his hair with sweet .

 

“You did this on purpose.” Tao accused after a few minutes of sobbing. “You picked this movie on purpose!”

 

“Maybe,” Baekhyun murmured into his hair. “It’s the real world, it isn’t just happy endings. Sometimes it’s about longing and ups and downs, maybe never even being with the one you truly love.” His voice was tinged with a hint of sadness, pulling Tao away to wipe his tears once more, resting his palms on either side of his face.

 

Tao’s stomach churned, Baekhyun’s eyes twinkling with something Tao couldn’t recognize. He didn’t know what he was feeling, Tao didn’t want to say it was love, he was too afraid, his head hurting even thinking about what that could mean for them.

 

“You ,” is what he ended up saying, pushing Baekhyun away from him and falling on his back, his arms spread out near his head. Baekhyun chucked to himself, hand skimming by to slide against Tao’s in a fluttering touch for a moment, fingers almost intertwining before Baekhyun’s scurried away.

“I do,” he agreed. “Tomorrow we can watch a better one, I promise.”

 

Except a better one also meant a sad one with an open ending. Tao ended up glaring at Baekhyun the whole movie, refusing to watch for longer than a few minutes.

 

“You lied,” Tao grumbled, walking gloomily to the kitchen, dragging his feet behind Baekhyun slowly.

 

“But I didn’t! It was better wasn’t it?” He tried to reason, grabbing a cup and pouring water into it.

 

“No, it wasn’t you lied.” Tao took the glass of water Baekhyun handed him, drinking it slowly, continuing the constant glaring he was throwing his way.

 

“Okay, okay, I lied, I’m sorry,” Baekhyun threw his hands up in defeat. “You win, I’m a terrible person, now stop glaring at me.” he pulled Tao towards him with a hand to his waist, grabbing the glass of water swiftly  and setting it on the counter behind him.

 

Their eyes met for a second, the amusement in Baekhyun’s eyes dwindling as his lips opened to in a short breath, his lips glossed with a moisturizer he liked to reapply constantly. The hand splayed against his side was now grabbing onto the bottom of his shirt, pulling him in closer.

 

“Baekhyun,” Tao gasped when Baekhyun’s began to angle his head to the side, Tao’s heart leaping out of his chest with the way he was looking at him. His eyes were hooded, tongue out to his lips and Tao’s heart was beating like crazy.

 

So many thoughts were running through his mind before it went completely blank, the tips of his toes running cold, his body freezing once their lips touched for the first time.

 

It was slow and clumsy, the hand that wasn’t clutching on to Tao’s shirt coming up to clasp the back of his neck, his fingers splaying over to his cheeks to turn Tao’s head into a more comfortable position, their teeth clashing together a few times.

 

They kissed for a few seconds, Tao inhaling deeply, mouth opening so Baekhyun’s tongue could tease the seam of his lips leisurely.

 

“I’m sorry,” Baekhyun breathed when he pulled away, fingers shaking as he continued to hold onto Tao’s shirt. Their lips brushed with every word he spoke, Tao still frozen in place, his body still recovering from the flood of mixed emotions.

 

It was terrifying and confusing, but that didn’t stop him from leaning down an inch to press their lips together for the second time. The same burst of cold running up his spine, his legs numbing for a few seconds, before he felt warm and jittery.

 

Then came the realization. The fear, the bone shaking fear of what they just did filling Tao with horror.

 

He pushed Baekhyun away before he could even think, his hand covering his gaping mouth.

 

“You’re sick,” he whispered, Baekhyun staring at him with panic. “I’m--I’m sick, infected, diseased I’m--”

 

“No, wait, please,” Baekhyun tried to say, reaching his hand out to touch, but hand latching on to air when Tao took a few steps back.

 

“Don’t touch me, you did this to me,” he was shaking, staring at the security panel. He could go to it, press the red panic button that was underneath the device and it would all be over. He can get help, he can stop all the feelings he knew he wasn’t supposed to feel.

 

Baekhyun moved before Tao could, body blocking the way. “Please,” he begged, hands up near his face in a show of surrender.

 

“Move,”

 

“Just listen to me once, please, Tao, I just need one minute.”

 

“Move!”

 

“I can explain, please, just if you would just give me a chance!”

 

“You did this to me!” he screamed, eyes wild with anger. “With all the movies, and music! All the touching, all the lies, all the secrets, all the pretty smiles and whispers, you did this! What do you want from me, huh? I don’t understand, why you’re trying to ruin my life!”

 

“Because I love you, is that so hard to understand?” Baekhyun screeched and it felt like everything fell silent, Tao’s heart pounding in his ears. He watched as Baekhyun’s hands balled into fists before he let them fall to his sides. “I ing love you, I want to be with you every second of every damn day and it kills me, it ing kills me.”

 

He sighed, his shoulders sagging in defeat. “I,” Tao began, fingers running against his lips for a moment. “I can’t,”

 

“I know, I know, I’m sorry, I just thought that maybe,” Baekhyun held his breath, eyes drifting down to his feet. “you felt the same way, but clearly I was wrong in assuming. Can we just forget this whole thing happened?”

 

Tao couldn’t help but nod his head silently, Baekhyun taking one step further, eyes wanting something, but before he could act on it, he took a step back to where he was before and then a few more until his back hit the door.