i fear the unnecessary emptiness.

among my complicated emotions,

in the game of life-or-death,

i pretend to be dulled to the feelings.

the first thing jiyoo did was collect all the cellphones and electronic devices, not wanting anything to leave the dorm. after locking it all up in his room he had separated the taeil from the rest of the band, helping him with his bloody nose. it took all of his strength to not wreck havoc on the boy. he was the oldest and he should have known better. times were changing, and if he could see it, why couldn't taeil?

after a suffocatingly silent clean up session, he ordered the younger to go to bed and the boy followed the command obediently. jiyoo stared after him, knowing that the other didn't feel the least bit remorseful for what he did to the poor couple in the other bedroom. from his position at the end of the hall he could hear doyoung openly cry, even through the closed door. his heart clenched in his chest.

he didn't want to deal with taeil, or even talk to him, but he couldn't help but wonder how the boy found out. he pressed a few fingers to his temples and massaged them inward, feeling a migraine coming on. it was going to be a long night. after taking a few deep breaths he twisted the knob to jaehyun's room and slipped in, toeing his way through the boys spread out all over the floor.

thankfully, everyone in the room had looks of sympathy, and not disgust like he had seen on taeil. he moved jisung before pulling the youngest onto his lap, stealing his seat on the opposing bed. taeyong and mark had taken up the other bed with the couple, each taking turns rubbing the boy's back while jaehyun whispered in his ear soothingly.

the taller had long since stopped crying and an expression full of anger had taken refuge on his face instead. it was obvious how upset jaehyun was with the way he refused to look at anyone's eyes, only focusing his attention on the crying lover in his arms. with every cry that fell from the redhead's lips, everyone in the room could feel the pure anguish. he didn't care anymore after what happened and shifted his seat so he was straddling his man, clinging to him like a baby koala, wrapping his arms around his neck to cry to the wall. 

no one knew what to do when doyoung started hiccuping, though quite cute, everyone began rushing around to find a bottle of water and tissues to offer the boy. it was yuta that finally cracked the cap of the bottle open, arm extended over two boys' heads to offer it to jaehyun to take. he grabbed it with a thankful smile and leaned back, looking into the boy's swollen but watery doe eyes.

"drink this," jaehyun demanded, holding it up to his boyfriend's lips.

everyone held their breath. doyoung blinked at it and then quickly resumed his position, squeezing his body closer to jaehyun as he locked his chin over the other's shoulders. donghyuck looked around and observed everyone's faces. he didn't know how much more of the silence he could take. nothing would get better if they kept acting like there was something wrong. pained expressions probably only made doyoung feel worse.

he cleared his throat and spoke up, directing himself at doyoung, "hyung."

jaehyun gave him a wary look, overly protective of the boy. doyoung let out a shaky breath at the sound of his dongsaeng's voice, rubbing at his nose before looking back at the pile of boys collected on the floor. "y-yes?"

under the scrutiny of jaehyun's suspicious gaze, donghyuck raised two fists at his cheeks and widened his eyes cutely. "gakeung!"

"eyyy," sounded a handful of the kids around him in mock disgust.

tissues were thrown at him and for the first time in that hour, there were smiles instead of hurt-filled eyes. doyoung broke out into a smile at that and even let out a small giggle. jaehyun, after observing the ginger's expression, finally let loose and allowed himself to grin as well, nuzzling his cheek onto the top of doyoung's head. donghyuck scooted past jeno and jaemin to squeeze up and down the boy's calf.

his voice automatically turned up a notch and he soon resembled a grandma, speaking in a dialect, "our doyounga is growing so tall, look at these chicken legs! aiyoo, aiyoo!"

everyone, even jiyoo who was on full guard, fell into a pit of laughter. it took a while for the group to calm down, and when they did they were met with yet another long silence. 

"i'm sorry," doyoung spoke out as jaehyun thumbed away at his tears. he looked at jaehyun for a moment, exchanging a sweet gaze before turning back to the rest. "really, i am."

as if watching a movie, all eyes were on that little scene. the atmosphere was oddly serene. they all were aware at how close the two boys were, so seeing them just look at each other shouldn't have been such an event. but to see the love floating between them for the first time made everyone get secondhand butterflies.

"don't be!" hansol quickly responded. 

"we're all fine with it," yuta spoke encouragingly. "well, not taeil but-- ow!"

he was promptly pinched by hansol and he scowled, rubbing his arm. "he'll come around," jiyoo said after some time. 

that night, everyone had lost their appetite. not wanting the meat to go bad, jiyoo had ordered johnny and ten to clear up the table. ten was stuffing thick slabs of premium beef into a ziplock bag when johnny tossed a pair of tongs back onto the platter. the younger jumped from his spot on the floor from the loud crash and looked up, half expecting johnny to begin to have a fit similar to tae