Woohyun…

      

The dinner left untouched. The atmosphere in the kitchen was tensed. They stood far from each other. Woohyun does not have the courage to look at him.

An hour had passed since their argument. Actually, Woohyun does not know the main reason behind it, how they ended up in this situation in the first place, but one thing he is sure of, this won't end any time soon and it won’t end very well.

Sunggyu acts different. Very different…

Something Woohyun cannot put his finger on…

What was wrong with him?

Woohyun frowns... 

Sunggyu’s expression, his harsh words. How he looks so…angry. 
Everything about him seems so distant. So different.

It was not their first time arguing or getting mad at each other, but something inside Woohyun’s heart perturbed him extremely. 

"I've got enough of this Woohyun." Sunggyu mutters under his breath.

Woohyun knows. He knows what this means.

Sunggyu wants to end it.

End Everything…

“No… Please…” Woohyun wants to know, what wrong did he do to be blamed? "Sunggyu…" He is sure he was not at fault. He doesn’t remember doing anything to piss Sunggyu off…
Still, he decides to apologize. He doesn’t want this situation between them to get any worse.
"I'm sorry." Woohyun’s voice was a whisper, but loud enough for the elder to hear.

Sunggyu’s eyes looked impertinent, rage and hate roaming inside them.
"I can't accept your excuses and apologizes anymore."

Woohyun quivers under his dart and his reply. He was never as steady as how Sunggyu is.

"B-But I don't understand…"

"YOU will NEVER understand!" Sunggyu suddenly hollers, emphasizing every word and pointing his index finger at him. 

"Don't raise your voice at me." Hurt showed in Woohyun’s eyes. Sunggyu never shouted at him… This was the first time.

Woohyun’s hands tremble.

Sunggyu clicks his tongue, annoyed. He waves his hands in front of him, getting enough of this.
"I'm leaving." He replies coldly and walks to the door.

Seeing Sunggyu was leaving, Woohyun panics and hurries after him.
"Where are you going?"

"It's none of your business!" Sunggyu hits the wall with his fist.

Woohyun halts in his steps.
"…Why? Why are you being like this? Sunggyu…" He pleads. He wants to know what was going on in Sunggyu’s head.

"I can't handle it… I need time alone…"

"B-But…what about me--?" Before Woohyun could finish, he hears the door slam shut.

And he left alone, standing in the door's frame.
"Don't leave just like that…" He whispers only to himself, a trail of tears rolls down his cheeks.

What just happened?

Why doesn't Sunggyu want him anymore?

“Am I not good enough for him?”

He tries to recall everything that happened the past hour.
They were fine, nothing was wrong; Woohyun finished preparing a late dinner for them when Sunggyu excused himself to answer a call. When he came back, his face was blank, and a black aura was radiating from him, he was silent. Then, when they ate…the elder seemed to be eating calmly, but Woohyun kept looking at Sunggyu’s lowered head. Woohyun hesitated. When he found the courage to ask what was wrong…he shut his mouth instantly by a loud slam on the table. Sunggyu started talking and blaming him for something he did not know…
Furthermore, he did not remember.

 

Woohyun…

 

         The sound of his phone ringing startles him. Woohyun glances at the caller ID… 

“An unknown number?” 

He answers it anyway.

"Hello?"

"It's just the start, Woohyun-sshi. Next time, I'll make sure he'll throw you out."

"W-Who are you?" He stutters, frowning.

However, the line cuts off. Woohyun eyes the ID again. He could not see the number; his vision is blurry from his tears. He tries to wipe his eyes, his lips quiver again.

Woohyun knows.
She was the one who called Sunggyu. She was the one who put wrong thoughts in his head. Sunggyu should know that. That she was playing tricks on them… That was all just a misunderstanding, or at least that was what Woohyun tried to convince himself.

Now, he has to find Sunggyu, tell him and explain everything.

Woohyun tries calling him but he does not pick up. He puts on his pink long coat and leaves their apartment.

 Where can he find Sunggyu at this time?

He called his close friends, but no one knew his whereabouts. He also tried calling Sunggyu's mother, but she didn't answer.

Maybe he is at his parents’... or, so he hopes.

Woohyun speeds up the car and in a matter of minutes, he reaches Kim's house.

"Woohyun-ah…? What's wrong?" Mrs. Kim asks, surprised that Woohyun came to visit…not only at this late hour, but with a worried face.

"I'm sorry Mrs. Kim, b-but did Sunggyu come here by any chance?" He asks her urgently, not being able to hold in his anxiety.

She notices him stuttering and frowns. "No, why would he come? Is everything alright?" 

"Eung… I mean aniyo… I… I just can't reach his phone. I'm sorry for bothering you at this hour, Mrs. Kim…. uhh…take care!" He bows hurriedly and turns to leave.

"Be careful, Woohyun." Mrs. Kim tries to say as Woohyun was already making his way back to the car.

He hits the steering wheel hard. Woohyun feels his eyes moisten with tears again.

Why don't you answer my calls? Damn it, where can I find you now?

The company…

Hyunnie….

With a hopeful heart, Woohyun wipes his tears and pulls down the road. He doesn't even care how he was breaking speed limits to get there as fast as he can.

Woohyun stops the car before getting off and running straight to the direction of the company, without bothering to lock the car or even close the door.
He comes to a halt when he spots Sunggyu in front of the building. Woohyun takes a step back, putting his hand on his chest, his mouth agape from the shock.

It… It can’t be real…
This is not real…
This is not Sunggyu.

Sunggyu would never do that.

Sunggyu would never cheat on him.

Woohyun felt his breath getting heavier. He gathers what left from his strength to walk forward.
Woohyun raises his hand slowly, wanting to touch Sunggyu…
Wanting to believe…wanting to pull him away, and understand what the hell was going on.
 
"S-Sunggyu..."

The older male, hesitantly pulls away and looks at him.

"Why are you here?" Sunggyu asks, seemingly annoyed by the younger’s presence.

"Are you kidding me? What the hell Sunggyu? Is that what you need?" The younger male shouts at him. His voice is trembling, but Woohyun could care less.

Sunggyu narrows his eyes. "Just shut up. And leave now."

"W-What." Woohyun’s voice was a mere whisper, as he felt the lump forming in his throat. His chest ached. Tears blurred his vision.

How could he…!

This is not his beloved Sunggyu, that was what Woohyun was trying to tell himself, over and over again.

Woohyun wants to touch him, reach him, do anything possible just to make sure this is really his Gyu.
But Woohyun knows his chance has gone. He had wasted his only chance to keep Sunggyu, to be enough for him. Even if it was really his Gyu, even if Woohyun could reach him…he knew that he lost it. He lost Sunggyu and Woohyun knew Sunggyu wasn’t wrong for leaving him. 
This is what he deserves, because he was not enough for Sunggyu. Because he preferred his work and barely had any time to spend time with Sunggyu.

Woohyun knew all this… He realized that it is his fault but he couldn’t get over the fact that Sunggyu is actually cheating on him. He doesn’t want this reality. Frustration and anger boils up in him, replacing his guilt and regret.

"I... I hate you...” Woohyun’s voice comes out shakier than he means it to be. “I ing hate you, you bastard!" Now he is yelling at Sunggyu, before he pushes the elder’s chest harshly and runs back to his car. He speeds away, not daring to look back.

         As soon as Woohyun reaches their apartment, he slams the door behind him and throws his phone hard against the wall. Oh yes, it will break, but Woohyun doesn’t care. He is too broken to think straight.
Memories of that moment floods him. The scene he saw… Sunggyu was with a girl. His Sunggyu, was caressing another girl, the proximity way too close for Woohyun’s liking. They were kissing.
His breath hitches, tears would not stop falling. Tears that have been streaming down the moment Woohyun ran away from him. He grips the edge of the table until his knuckles turn white.

"Sunggyu…" He shouts. "You jerk…" He sniffles. "You bastard!" He yells out loudly and slams his palms on the table several times. He groans in anguish, picking up violently smashing to the ground every plate or glass in his sight. He keeps shouting at the sound of shattering glass that echoes in the silent apartment.
Woohyun crouches on the ground, loud sobs escaping his mouth. His chest aches from his ragged breath and his throat feels dry from all the shouting. His lips tremble at the painful clenching in his heart.

But,

He doesn't care.

He doesn't feel anything.

This moment….

It is the end of them.

 

Woohyunnie, please...

 

              He opens his tired eyes, the first thing he feels is the stinging pain from the scratches on his bare feet and his palms. Woohyun looks around; he is still in the kitchen, in one of the corners, legs bent to his chest.
The pink coat feels heavy on his shoulders, his head throbs like hell.
He tries to stand but quickly grips the edge of the counter when his legs felt like giving way. His legs feel numb from the position he was in for hours, so he stays still for a minute before limping slowly, as the blood starts to rush in his numb legs. He walks out of the apartment, aimlessly.
He stumbles on his own shoelaces that he did not care to tie. He walks down the busy streets, bumping into people who walk in hurry for their business. He wants to reach a place, he doesn't know what place or where it is but he was sure that place would make him feel safe and secure.

How long has it been…since they ‘broke up’?

When was the last time they saw each other?

Wasn't it just last night?

Why does it feel like years?

          Right at that moment Woohyun heard a loud horn, out of nowhere, so close to him…in fact too close, that he would surely have run for his life from whatever produced that sound. If it wasn’t for the great impact that hit him the next split second—and everything went black, as he falls unconscious.

 

Open your eyes…

 

“Stay with me...
Please, stay by my side...
I can't live without you.”

How badly Woohyun wants to say that, when he saw Sunggyu sitting beside his bed, emotionlessly.

"What are you doing here?" Woohyun cannot forgive him, he cannot forget what Sunggyu had done, and Sunggyu's expression doesn’t help at all.

"I can come here whenever I want, what's with you?" Sunggyu replies, looking annoyed. Woohyun feels like e was a huge burden on Sunggyu’s shoulders.

Woohyun averts his gaze. "It‘s none of your business."

"That damn truck almost hit you and you say it's not my business?" Sunggyu suddenly snaps at him.

The younger male was taking aback. He looks at the other, the distress from before coming back to him and give him a headache. "Isn't that what you want us to be? I wish I had just…died instead of seeing your face again!" He snaps back.

"Stop your fantasy and move on Woohyun, we don't exist. It was all fake." he shakes his head, speaking confidently. Sunggyu’s eyes remain cold, as cold as they have been since that phone call last night. 

That damn phone call…

"You are the one who doesn't exist… I hate you. I don't wanna see you anymore…" Woohyun mutters under his breath. "Get out of my sight, and out of my head already!" He shouts angrily. Hot tears start trailing down again.

And without a further word, or any form of response, the door slams shut.

God… 

”What have I done?” More tears spill, crackling down his already-broken face. Woohyun has to cover his mouth to suppress the sobs breaking from his lips uncontrollably.

Sunggyu is gone. Again.

He left me… He just left me.

Woohyun hates the voice that rang in the back of his head, as it only causes more tears streaming down, if that was possible.

“You could have made him yours again.
If only you had tried…. Just once.
But, you let him leave.
Now, he won’t want to get back for you anymore.
He won’t come back.
Ever.
Yet, you cannot live without him.”

 

 

WOOHYUN! What is… Are you… Hey. Wake up…

 

“Wake up, Woohyun.”

Woohyun shoots up, gasping loudly, his eyes wide open.
The room is pitch dark, save for the blue dim light emanating from the corner of the room, giving it a cozy atmosphere.
Woohyun feels like…he is at home. Like he is safe. After what felt like an eternity… His chest finally feels light, and the burden on his shoulders, had gone.

A face, a very handsome face, Woohyun missed so much…hovers over his own and his eyes widen.

"S-Sunggyu..." He whispers, lacking the courage to believe if it is real, or still just a dream.

…Wait! A dream?

Sunggyu just sighs with relief. "You finally woke up…” A soft smile draws on his face, while he carresses Woohyun’s hair.

Sunggyu… Woohyun cannot get over how gentle and warm Sunggyu is being. So different from what Woohyun just experienced…or rather, dreamed to experience. So…Sunggyu. His Sunggyu. The Sunggyu he knows.

“You scared the hell out of me Hyunnie." Sunggyu says again, pulling Woohyun back to reality. A light frown shows on Sunggyu’s features. He is concerned.

"Sunggyu…" Woohyun doesn't know what to say. He can’t believe it was just a dream. Even if someone told him a hundred times that it was a dream, he wouldn't believe it… It felt so real. Woohyun feels his eyes watering again, as tears start to roll down his already soaked cheeks.

Sunggyu wipes his tears away and kisses his forehead. "Oh…Hyunnie. Stop crying… Everything is alright..."

"I thoug…I thought… Y-You..." He chokes in his sobs when he remembers the bad dream he just had. A nightmare he has had recently.

"I'm here baby… I'm here. Don't worry." The elder kisses the crown of his head and carresses his back, drawing little circles to comfort his poor lover.

They end up cuddling in the middle of their king-size bed with Sunggyu's back resting against the headboard and Woohyun's head on his chest.

"I tried to wake you up, but you kept crying and mumbling incoherent words. I was so worried." Sunggyu whispers while caressing his soft strands.

"I'm sorry…" The younger takes a shaky breath. He just stopped crying.

Sunggyu puts a gentle hand under Woohyun’s chin, lifting it up so the latter can look at him. He proceeds to peck his boyfriend’s lips, smiling at him. "Don't be, I'm glad you are alright now."

"I feel sick without you." Woohyun says quietly, he pulls Sunggyu closer by the back of his head and kisses him softly on his lips. Sunggyu smiled in the kiss when Woohyun’s hand reaches his locks, diving his fingers in them. "I can't live away from you." Woohyun whispers and rubs the elder’s head desperately; just to make sure that everything is real. That Sunggyu still here, with him, holding him for his dear life.

Sunggyu returns the kiss as softly as it can be, trying to the stress off his beloved boyfriend while holding him tightly between his arms.

"Don't leave me." the younger breathes on his lips.

Sunggyu cups his cheek and kisses his forehead. "I won't."

Woohyun closes his eyes at the tender touch and hugs his lover close. "I love you so much." 

"So do I." Sunggyu breathes in his ear and pushes him down on his back until Woohyun felt his back against the mattress, so they can sleep comfortably. Sunggyu leaves feather kisses down his neck.

"I'm afraid to go back to sleep." he mumbles lowly.

Sunggyu moves his palm along Woohyun’s back, his other hand entangling in the younger’s dark hair. "Hey…I'm here. Everything’s alright. It was only a dream, ok?” Sunggyu shushes him. “You will tell me about it when we wake up, now it’s time to rest." he pecks the younger’s lips.

Woohyun hums and tightens his hold around Sunggyu. He feels happy, because it was all just a dream. He feels happy to have Sunggyu in his life…to have a lover who never fails to show his love for him, in many ways.

 

Woohyun returns from his work in a late afternoon, he turns the doorknob and was surprised to find Sunggyu standing near the door, waiting for him.

Why is he home early today?

A warm smile graced Sunggyu’s features, as he pulls Woohyun in a tight hug. He pecks his lips before taking the latter’s bag aside.
"Ppalli… Ppalli, we don't have much time!" Sunggyu rushes out of their apartment, pulling Woohyun along with him.

"But where are we going?" Woohyun asks curiously while putting on his seatbelt.
Sunggyu smiles happily. "You'll find out so soon."

It is not too far from Woohyun's office. Sunggyu turns the car toward a beautiful neighborhood. The houses built in an old class design, yet they look so modern, while trees filled both sides of the street, giving the whole place a breath-taking view.

"Here we are!" Sunggyu exclaims when he has stopped the car in front of a white house and turned off the engine.

"Gyu…" The younger male mumbles as he looks around out the window, trying to understand what they are doing here.

Sunggyu gets off the car and gestures for Woohyun to do the same. "Come on." 

Woohyun obeys and unbolts his seatbelt, not averting his eyes from Sunggyu as he steps out of the car.

Are they going to visit someone?

Why does Sunggyu look so happy?

Woohyun holds himself from asking questions, while he stands beside Sunggyu in front of a tiny set of stairs that led up to a big wooden door. He notices the elder pull out some keys and unlock the door.

"Gyu…" He looks at Sunggyu, still dumbfounded.

But the latter just takes his hand and walks inside the house with a big smile on his face.

"Welcome to our new home, Woohyun." Sunggyu whispers near his ear and watches the younger look around, astonished by the view of their new house.

"I… You… H-Home?" Woohyun could only stammer as a long smile stretches on his face and he feels tears gather in the corner of his eyes. "Sunggyu" He throws himself on his lover, hugging him tightly. "I…I’m so happy. I can't believe it… Thank you, Gyu."

"Do you like it? You haven't seen the inside yet..." Sunggyu wipes the younger’s tears away gently before taking his hand again to walk further into their home.

Everything made from wood. They walk along the main hall, which guides to four rooms: a kitchen with huge glass windows shows a little garden; a small front yard decorated with some tall trees around it. The other rooms contains three sliding doors leading to two empty rooms and a bathroom. At the end of the hall was a spiral staircase, Woohyun enjoyed the feeling of the refined wood of the railing under his hand as he followed Sunggyu upstairs. Upon reaching the second floor, Woohyun discovered three more rooms and another bathroom.
The place was still empty and a little cold, but it really feels like home. Woohyun decides he loves it more than their apartment; he would even like to stay here tonight. This was the thought he was mustering while they climb back down the stairs and make their way through the hall.

"Any idea?" Sunggyu smirks, noticing the satisfaction in his younger lover's face. They have now reached the main hall and Sunggyu followed where the other seems putting interest in, subconsciously. The front yard with tall trees.

Woohyun looks at him with watery eyes. He cannot control his emotions anymore. "I can't describe how happy and thankful I am."

They stand in the front yard, imagining how their future will be here and how this house with be full with their love and warmth.

"I chose this one because you won't feel lonely." Sunggyu jokes and hugs him from behind.
But Woohyun doesn’t get it. He turns around in his arms and looks him in the eyes with a frown. "What do you mean?"
"Look!" Sunggyu points at the trees. "Your brothers will keep you company all the time." He barely contains his laugh.
Woohyun hits his chest lightly but Sunggyu just laughs amused at his expression. He grabs Woohyun’s wrists, pulling him against himself and wrapping his arms around his waist.
"Nam Woohyun." He locks their gazes together, suddenly turning serious. "I am asking you to be my husband, my sunshine, my day and night." He proposes confidently with much hope in his heart.
"S-Sunggyu..." Woohyun’s lips are quivering. He feels like his heart is in cloud nine from all these happy moments.
"Do you wanna spend the rest of your life with me?" Sunggyu’s gaze softens as he cups the younger’s cheeks, a slight smile on his face.
Tears of happiness roll down Woohyun’s cheeks as he nods eagerly. "Yes. Yes, I wanna be with you forever."

They cannot be more than happy at that moment.

Their lips meet for a tender kiss.

         

         Months pass quickly and they finally settle in after a wonderful wedding and a honeymoon. They were happy to move in to their new home, they cherish every moment there. It looks cozy, warm and so beautiful after they furnished it with lots of classic wooden furniture; their tastes mixing and matching.

Sunggyu asked Woohyun to prepare a small feast for their families and close friends, to celebrate their moving in. Besides, it’s been so long since they last saw them.
They barely finished arranging everything on the long dining table when their guests arrived.
Mrs. Nam and Mrs. Kim help them with the remaining preparations, as the sounds of cheerful chatter and laughter already filled and echoed through the house.
Woohyun's heart was throbbing in his chest at the excitement and the happy feeling of having them all close. He sits beside his husband, smiling ever so brightly as all of them gathered around the table with a warm and joyful atmosphere.
Sunggyu was also more than happy to see all of them again. He was talking with his mom when he feels a hand carresses his thigh under the table. He jerks up, thankfully no one noticed. He eyes Woohyun beside him sharply, to see him talking to his dad on the other side. A small smile plays on his face, knowing Woohyun must be a little nervous in front of their parents, added with the excitement he feels from secretly playing naughty.
Sunggyu tries to focus on his food and ignore the touches on his thigh, but it is to no avail.

He sees Woohyun went to get more drinks from the kitchen so he follows him.
Woohyun gets the drinks, humming happily to himself. He doesn’t notice the other’s presence behind him. When Woohyun was ready to get back to the others and when he turns around Sunggyu corners him against the counter before he takes the two bottles from his hands and places them behind him.

"S-Sunggyu…" Woohyun was caught off guard by the sudden encounter.

Sunggyu leans in his ear and whispers. "How many times should I tell you not to tease my patience?" His voice is low and raspy, sending Woohyun shivers down his spine.

"W-What are you talking about--" He could not continue his question when Sunggyu runs his nose on his neck. "G-Gyu stop. Yah… t-they will see." He tries to push him by his chest.

"I want you." Sunggyu breathes, pressing their foreheads together. His heart is beating wildly; he just wants to hold him close right now.

Woohyun's hands tremble as he runs them in his husband's hair. "Gyu, please..." He whispers shakily. He felt his breath quickening already. He was so weak against Sunggyu.

"." Sunggyu curses and leaves his side. The younger male saw him wash his hands and face in the sink. He then leaves the kitchen, taking the bottles with him, a small smile tugging on his face.

Their friends help them with the dishes; Woohyun thanks them and serves the desserts.

It was late at night when they take their leaves.

Woohyun bids his last goodbye to his mom and dad as they lastly left. He closes the door and locks it. He turns and sees his husband standing in the hall with a smirk.

Woohyun chuckles and takes his sweet time with slow steps to reach him but the moment he lifts his foot to come in the hall, Sunggyu grabs his wrist and pulls him into his embrace.

"Get enough of teasing me?" He breathes near his lips.

Woohyun chuckles again. He lost it when Sunggyu lifted him from the ground, breaking into a fit of laughter while he wraps his legs around Sunggyu's waist and his arms around his neck, afraid that they both fall down.

Woohyun couldn’t control his heart anymore. He was practically glowing with happiness.
He brushes their noses together.

"My precious…" Sunggyu pecks his lips.
Woohyun plays with his bangs and pouts at him. "I'm too tired..."
"Hmm, I noticed..." He walks them to their bedroom. 
"I love you." Woohyun confesses as he snuggled on his chest.
"I love you, too baby." He places a soft kiss on Woohyun’s lips and holds him tightly.

Their life starts from now on. Many days wait them…
They have a long path ahead, and on this path, Woohyun knows he cannot take a breath without Sunggyu.
Every time he remembers his nightmare, his chest clenches.
That dream, the one that left a mark on his soul…

He can still feel the pain, can still see his lost soul without his light. He tries to be closer to Sunggyu than before…still fear if that day will come for real this time, even when Sunggyu always showers him with love and affection. Woohyun cannot ever take any risk of losing him.
Times when he would feel far away from Sunggyu, he would let go of everything and drop anything from his hands, just to run and hug him. Which often takes his husband by surprise, but Woohyun doesn't mind it. He doesn’t care, as long as he holds Sunggyu close.

 

The End    

 

 

// The first fic has officially been posted and with this, the event starts! I hope you enjoy this sweet angst and leave lots of comments for the author :D