4 Years Later

Laying in bed, I rolled around because I had nothing better to do. I was bored out of my mind, and Ji Yoon wasn't even home yet. Sighing, I stopped rolling around and looked at the clock that sat on the nightstand beside my bed.

9:36 AM

Groaning, I pulled the pillow from underneath my head and placed it over my face to scream into it. I don't understand why I was so restless, I should still be able to sleep some more but I couldn't. It was really annoying me that lately, I couldn't even sleep.

Ever since Taekwoon left and left the house to me, I took over his room which surprisingly was always pitch black even when I opened the curtains. Little light would filter in, and by now I had grown used to it. Ji Yoon stayed in the guest room downstairs, while the guys would come and go to check up on us. So far there hasn't been signs of Taekwoon's father or his men after about 4 months after Taekwoon left, but even then we were not going to let our guard down.

Even after four years, anything was possible and who knows what they could be or would be planning at any moment. It was so hard to tell that it frustrated me sometimes. Or when none of them would say something because it was strictly Fallen Angel business; a mere human like myself wouldn't understand, I would just get in the way of everything.

Up to this point, I didn't understand why any of them even put up with me. Why was I so special? What was it about me that made them stick around and protect me from some of the scariest men I've ever encountered in my life?

Why did Taekwon take a liking to me? Was I that special that a human like myself deserved the love a Fallen Angel? Why did his father want him to go back to Heaven? There were so many questions I had, but little to no answers for any of them. Whenever I would ask one of the guys or even Ji Yoon, they would just either ignore the question or just talk about something else. It really infuriated me whenever they would do that because it made me feel like I was a weak human girl that wouldn't be able to handle the truth or anything that went on in their world.

I don't know why I felt like I had to prove myself to them, but I knew that was going to impossible because after all I am weak. I don't have the strength that any of them possesses or ever would for that matter.

"Chae Yeong?" I heard a male voice call from downstairs. Groaning even more than before, I knew who it was, and I didn't feel the need to go downstairs. They should be aware that I spend most of my days in bed in Taekwoon's room. It reminds me of the short time we had together before he left. Though I knew better than try to remember that brief moment, I just couldn't help it.

As I to my side and contemplated if I really wanted to get up, there was a soft knock on the door before it was pushed opened and in they came. I decided that maybe I should pretend to be asleep so they could leave me alone. I really didn't want to do anything—well I never wanted to do anything since Taekwoon left. If it weren't for Ji Yoon and the rest of the guys, I wouldn't have finished college and graduated. I really wanted to drop everything and go looking for him, but they told me that who knew where he had gone and if he even stayed in the country. Which were all validate reasons, so I had to it up and finish my last two years of college.

Now, I had my career in Animation as I hoped. Most of the times, I worked from home and the other times I would be called into the office to discuss what a client wanted or what was needed of me.

Today though? I wasn't needed. So I wanted to sleep in, but obviously, that wasn't about to happen.

"Chae Yeong?" a male voice said as they came over to the bedside and sat down to pat me on the shoulder. Squeezing my eyes shut, I hoped they got the hint and would leave but knowing them, they were persistent.

"I know you're not asleep. Get up," he nudged me further. Sighing, I had no other choice because I couldn't hold in my laughter anymore.

"What do you want Hongbin?" I said turning onto my back.

"For you to get up. Come on it's a beautiful day out, and you need to get some sun. You're so pale. You're basically a Vampire!" he tried pulling on my arms, but I wasn't budging. Hongbin tried pulling me even more, but I really didn't want to move. After a few minutes, he gave up and sat down on the bed.

"Chae Yeong," he breathed as he just sat there staring off into space.

"What is it?" I sighed as I laid my head back on the pillow and pulled the covers up to my chin.

"Do you really think he's coming back? It's already been four years. Don't you think it's time—time to move on?" he said as he turned around to face me and looked at me dead in the eyes. I would be lying if I said he didn't catch me off guard, but to think that he would be one to tell me something that like? It was absurd and weird, of all things.

"I do actually," I said breaking the staring contest that we were having. Hongbin sighed slowly as he fumbled with his hands. After spending four years with Taekwoon's friends, I can gladly say that I know most of their habits, their likes, and dislikes, just about everything about them. The more I thought about it, the more I became angry, frustrated and even... sad. I thought about Taekwoon and how we could have spent the last four years.

I wondered where he was every day, what he was eating, if he was eating, how he was, who he was with, all the above. There wasn't a day that passed that I didn't think about him. Sometimes I would even pull out the letter he left behind and read it over and over again, and each time I would cry my eyes out because it hurt—it really hurt. My heart would contract and sometimes I would lose it. By now the letter has tear stains, and the ink is running because of how much I would cry into it.

"Maybe he will. Who knows, but aren't you hungry?" Hongbin asked quickly changing the subject.

"Not really,"

"Chae Yeong~~~" I heard Ji Yoon cheery voice from the other side of the door. I tugged on a shirt that I found laying around and I thought it was okay to wear, so I put it on. Not really caring much. With the minimal light coming from the lamp that I , I went over to the dresser to brush my hair out. As I set the brush down, Ji Yoon knocks on the door before opening it and coming in.

"So you are awake. Finally. Hongbin told me you haven't eaten so I thought that maybe we should all go out for some dinner," she smiled widely as she held onto her clutch.

"I'm not hungry," I shrug as I go over to the bed to lay down.

"Oh no, you don't. You haven't eaten for two days now. What's wrong?" Ji Yoon said placing her clutch on the nightstand as she sat down on the edge of the bed.

"Nothing. I just don't have an appetite," I shrugged as I pulled the covers up to my neck. Although I slept all day, I still feel tired. Slightly yawning, I looked over to Ji Yoon who had a defeated look on her face.

"Come on. You should get some fresh air," she pulled on the covers. I glared at her because when was she going to understand that I didn't want to get out of bed? That I didn't want to go out. It wasn't because of Taekwoon, I just didn't have the energy or willpower to do so. Okay maybe it was because of Taekwoon, but I wanted to be home when and if he arrived. I wanted to greet him if he ever walked through the front door. I wanted to yell and scream at him for leaving me behind for four years. For not even trying to communicate with me, for not even letting me know that he was still alive.

Sighing, maybe she was right—I needed to get some fresh air.

"Fine," I sighed as I swung my legs over the edge of the bed and stood up.

"Seriously?" she beamed as she also stood up to look at from across the bed.

"Yes,"

"Alright! You have to be stunning! Matter of fact, I'll do your make-up!"

"Woah! Chae Yeong! You actually came!" Wonshik beamed as he stood up along with the guys with shocked expressions. It really has been a long time since I've last been out with everyone. Just being out in public was nerve-wracking for some reason. I felt like I was being watched although I knew that I was safe with all of them around me.

At least it was night so the sunlight wouldn't be a shock to me. I've been cooped up in Taekwoon's room for so long that seeing the sun's rays hurt my eyes and it felt weird. Ji Yoon and Hongbin were right; I was turning into a vampire—minus the fangs and being bloodthirsty. I had gotten so much paler than before. I was a ghost white, and I knew it worried Ji Yoon because would always think that I was sick or something.

"When are you going to get a full-time job?" Sanghyuk asked.

"Yah," Hakyeon nudged him as he gave me a faint smile.

"I actually like my job,"

"No I mean when are you going to spend most of your days in the office instead of being at home all day? You need to go back out into the world you know," Hakyeon said getting all wise and what not. I rolled my eyes because obviously, he didn't know the life of animators.

"Most work from home. Others work in an office setting with other people of course. I prefer working from home because it's easier and I have more schedule to follow. I could go to the office and collaborate with a team, but sometimes we all different ideas of how things should be and you know me. I'm pretty short-tempered,"

They all nodded because apparently I made valid points and I really hoped they would drop the topic.

Soon enough, we ordered our food and chatted away. Catching up and all. I wasn't even aware of the fact that just by not hanging around them, I missed a lot of what was going on with them and I felt sorry that I didn't know a lot of the things that they were going through.

In some ways, I made it about myself. I was selfish, and it was just now hitting me that I was so unfair to them. This whole time I only thought about myself and my own feelings and didn't even stop to think about how they felt or what they were struggling through. All I ever talked about was Taekwoon, all I ever worried about was Taekwoon and not my own well being.

"I'm going to the bathroom," I said getting up as Hongbin and Wonshik bickered about something.

"I'll be right there," Ji Yoon said as she took a sip of her drink.

Getting up, I walked over to the bathroom and went to stand right in front of the mirror. Taking a closer look, I was shocked to see my reflection. I was ghostly pale like I imagined to be but I didn't think it was that bad. Looking at my figure, I was literally skin and bones. My shoulders were poking out as my legs were sticks and my cheeks were sunken in. To say the least, I wasn't healthy at all. There were no muscles on my bones—I basically had sticks as limbs. Turning to my side, it was as if I barely wasn't there.

I wasn't even aware that I had gotten this bad. I had always thought that I was healthy. Maybe starving myself a few days wasn't the best decision I've made.

"Pretty bad huh?" I heard Ji Yoon say as she walked into the bathroom and saw me staring at myself in the mirror.

"I'm this bad?" I said placing the palm of my hand on my jaw as I stared at myself in the mirror before looking at Ji Yoon through the mirror.

"Yeah. I thought you knew," Ji Yoon said approaching as she came to stand beside me with concern written in her eyes.

"No..." sighing I looked down for a moment before looking back up with watery eyes. "I can't believe I allowed myself to get this way," I said as I held back a sob. Taekwoon wouldn't have even allowed me to get to this state, so why did I allow myself to get this way? Ji Yoon came to stand right beside me before grabbing me and pulled me into a tight hug. She was taller than I was so the crown of my head was right underneath her chin. I rested my cheek on her collarbone as I sobbed and she rubbed my back.

"Everything is going to alright," she whispered.

After about 15 minutes of crying my eyes out and her trying to fix my make-up, we walked out of the bathroom and went back towards the table with the guys sitting there chatting away. Our order had alright arrived, but they hadn't even touched the food.

"Took you two long enough," Hongbin rolled his eyes. He muttered something under his breath but it was loud in the restaurant, so I didn't hear him.

"Were you two both doing number 2?" Jaehwan snickered. Hakyeon reached over and hit him.

"YAH! They're girls. Of course, they'll be taking a long time," Hakyeon shot us a playful smile before glaring at Jaehwan.

"I have two older brothers. I wouldn't know," the latter shrugged. "Besides the ones who would know is Hongbin and Taekwoon," Jaehwan added.

Hongbin rolled his eyes as I took my seat next to Hongbin. He glanced over at me and gave me a bright smile before he noticed my puffy eyes and probably how uneven my make-up was now.

His expression quickly changed from being bright to worried, and I didn't want him to see me this way.

"What's wrong? Were you... crying?" he carefully whispered as he slightly leaned closer to me. At first, I wondered how he