Dating Choi Young Do was like: she could feel grow dry and her palms sweaty but also feel excitement course through her. She could press her cheek to his' and sing Ella Fitzgerald's cheek to cheek all the while. She could measure her palm against his' and marvel at the difference. She could ask him everything that she had been dying to ask and know. She could kiss him. To her heart's pleasure. There would be no need to worry or even think about anything. She could touch his hair. His face. His mouth. Him.

When she spots him at the theatre, waiting for he, leaning casually against a pillar, his eyes scanning the area, as if looking for prey, Su Bin can't help but burst into a chuckle-snort. He always did look like an animal hunting prey. Pushing away the butterflies and shocks of nervous excitement running through her body, she makes her way to him.

Young Do's eyes detect her presence and his face softens into a smile. "Su Bin-a, annyeong," he straightens up and puts his arms around her. She immediately pulls away.

"Yaan, michosso? Have you gone crazy? There's people here!" Su Bin hisses, embarrassed.

"What people? There's no one here," Young Do shrugs, casually ignoring the dozens of people inside the hall. Before Su Bin can protest he takes her arm in his' and leads her to their seats inside the theatre. Su Bin pulls away from his hold but allows him to lead her.

They are too nervous with excitement to concentrate on the movie. Su Bin sees Young Do's hand reach for hers' but stop midway, hesitant. She doesn't close the distance either. She waits for him to come to her.

She realises she has fallen asleep when she feels something touch her hand. She wakes with a start, only to realise it is Young Do's hand holding hers. At her sudden movement Young Do looks at her inquiringly. She shrugs.

"Yaan, did you just fall asleep right now?"

"N-No, what? Shush now and watch the movie."

She can't help it when she dozes off again. She's been having sleepless nights owing to the tests and exams in her final semester. She wakes up with a start, her hands clamping down on Young Do's startling him. He lets out a squeak of fright and immediately tries to cover it up. Su Bin looks around alarmed.

"What happened?" she asks. Young Do notices people shooting glares at them and only shakes his head at her and pats her hand, gesturing her to watch the movie. After the movie, Su Bin goes to get them something to drink.

"It got darker under your eyes," Young Do remarks when she returns.

"Did my BB cream fade away?" she wonders aloud, handing Young Do his drink. Young Do rolls his eyes.

Young Do was learning a lot of things he hadn't been privy to earlier: Su Bin didn't sleep much. She had a problem. He didn't know what exactly caused it but she found it difficult to sleep. She said it was because of the exams but he was unconvinced. Strangely, he noticed, she found it easier to sleep in public places. Like in the bus. The metro. The train. The movie hall. His shoulder. The last being not that bad. And when she did fall asleep she would clench her fist, with her thumb tucked inside safely. A nervous tick.

And Su Bin hated public affection. She would freeze and awkwardly pull away. She would sometimes be okay with holding hands but mostly refuse. "Sweaty palms," she would offer as an explanation. When he told her he didn't care she would either pretend not to hear or make up an excuse. It was strange to see Su Bin this close and realize that things could be this unfamiliar and estranging. He wondered if Su Bin felt the same with him.

Stealing a glance at her fussing over her food, he doesn't say anything but suggest they leave.

She kisses him first. They are sitting in an empty park and Young Do is pointing to the area where he had seen this huge dog run through hoops, when he feels Su Bin place a palm on his cheek and draws it towards her. She places a small kiss on his mouth, and with raised eyebrows looks at him as if asking, wanna do this?

He smiles and nods. She returns the smile, moving to kiss him again. This time Young Do puts his arms around her, pulling her closer and closer still. She pulls herself into his lap and kisses him comfortably.

She feels herself not to be falling into an abyss as she'd thought him to be, but rising, feeling powerful and alive. She thought love was certain death and she had been so wrong. It was certain life. She'd always thought loving someone like him, or loving at all, could empty a person but it just rejuvenated her. It excited her and made her feel real and alive.

He peppers her face with kisses, making her giggle, before kissing her neck. Her hands tighten around his shoulder. Hmm, Young Do thinks, he had always been curious about this. When he the skin of her neck, Su Bin writhes against him like a fish out of water, but quickly pulls away.

"What happened?" Young Do asks, running a thumb against the fast reddening mark on her neck.

"Hurt?"

"No, no, but we have to be careful. We could die because of love bites."

"What?"

"Yes," Su Bin whips out her phone and shows him a video where love bites could cause seizure and death. It's morbid. He softly kisses her neck. "This is okay?" he smirks when Su Bin's eyes flutter close and she sighs.

"Yes. But I'm afraid we must stop before we get arrested for public obscenity."

"Alright," Young Do loosens his hold on her and lets her get up to sit beside him. Su Bin glances at her watch. "Do you have somewhere to be?"

"Yes, I have to go meet Rachel and Jun Ah."

"Did you tell them yet? About us?" His eyebrows are raised. She wonders how he gets them to go so high. She stifles a giggle. Young Do only raises an already raised eyebrow higher.

"I am going to now," she mumbles, giggling all the way to the door.

When she tells Jun Ah and Rachel about her and Young Do they seem to have been expecting it.

"You knew?"

"Yes," Rachel comments dryly. Su Bin watches her especially closely. She had been most worried about Rachel because well—Young Do was her brother and Su Bin didn't want it to get weird between them because of it.

"How?" Su Bin asks, shocked.

"You guys were always making doe-eyes at each other," Jun Ah scoffs. "Hardly subtle."

"What? That's insane! We just got together a week ago. This is crazy," Su Bin rolls her eyes, annoyed. She didn't expect them to receive it so well. Or so coolly. They could have done with some excitement.

"Young Do was always there. Didn't you ever wonder?" Jun Ah asks. Su Bin frowns. No she hadn't. Jun Ah nudges Rachel, who's sitting next to her. "Do you remember when we tried to catch him red-handed?"

Rachel snorts. "And failed."

"What? Tried to catch him red-handed?" Su Bin asks, confused.

Jun Ah nods. "A few months ago. Actually more than a few months ago. When you were with Hyun Bin. I started noticing how Young Do would keep looking at you with heart eyes. And we tried to catch him!"

"I think Young Do likes Su Bin," Jun Ah said flopping down on Rachel's bed. "Whenever one of us mentions her or worse Hyun Bin, his ears perk up and he shoots out of his place like a rocket."

Rachel looked away. She did not like the sound of it.

"Whe? Su Bin-a? You and Hyun Bin did WHAT?" Jun Ah gasped loudly.

"Yaan, Park Jun Ah! What do you think you're doing?" Rachel said, annoyed. Jun Ah frowned at Rachel and urged her to play along. Jun Ah walked to the door. "Auh, was it that GOOD?"

She put her hand on the doorknob and smiled at Rachel in a conspiratorial manner. "He did WHAT?" She turned the knob and opened it with an aggressive, "AH, HAH!" only to see that the hallway was empty.

Rachel, who had been holding her breath, released it. "Yaan, Jun Ah, you're driving me crazy. Close the damn door."

"I swear, I thought he was standing outside...listening," Jun Ah mumbled as she shut the door. Unbeknownst to Jun Ah, the suspected person had in fact been outside listening but at the first movement of the doorknob ran out to the kitchen.

"I wonder where he went, though," Jun Ah scratches her chin dramatically. "Anyway, the point is I was right!" She wags her finger in front of Rachel's face, who only rolls her eyes.

"Yes, madam, we get it."

"N-no, the point is Young Do and I are dating. That's the point," Su Bin says getting up.

"Yes, so?" Jun Ah asks.

"So? So—is that okay with—you?" Su Bin is looking only at Rachel who is keenly avoiding her gaze. "Yoo Rachel, you know I'm talking to you," Su Bin nudges Rachel when the latter doesn't spare her a glance. It takes some time for her to look at Su Bin.

"Of course I'm fine with it. You don't need my permission, Su Bin," she sighs. "But I don't want to hear anything of your stuff with my brother. And neither do I need to hear about your fights. I don't want to become a bone in between two of you." Rachel clarifies, her eyes piercing into Su Bin's.

Su Bin feels a little hurt at Rachel's outright demand for exclusion but concedes, not knowing what else to do. The atmosphere turns awkward but is rescued in time by Jun Ah who suggests they watch a movie. Su Bin tries not to think of what Rachel had said but she fails. So she buries it deep inside her heart and waits for the day it will spring up and burst out. She sighs.

"I ate a dried squid yesterday and thought of you. You'll like it very much," Young Do tells her. They are sitting on the living room floor of Young Do and Rachel's house. Su Bin is writing out her assignment and Young Do is reading some papers.

"Yeah? Where did you eat it?" she asks, not looking up from her laptop.

"I'll take you there."

"Are you paying?" Su Bin smirks, giving him a sidelong glance.

"Don't I always?" Young Do grins referring to the time he had lunch with Su Bin's local guardian and her.

"Yaan, inma," she scoffs. "So much pride. How do they stand you at your hotel?"

"Because of my good looks."

"You know," Young Do said, "when I was younger I used to run away all the time from home."

"Really?"

"I once convinced this halmoni, this grandmother, that I was her grandson whom she couldn't remember because she was suffering from amnesia. I almost succeeded in making her take me home with her when we ran into Myung Soo and his parents. They took me back home. I remember asking Myung Soo why his parents and he were together on the street that day, if someone had died and they were going to pay respects... He didn't understand my question. They went out together all the time he told me. I didn't understand that. Later I remember Myung Soo offered me his halmoni. She is loud and talks too much anyway."

He wanted to say, Sometimes I see you and I feel like I have to tell you everything about myself or I will lose out on something. It is as if I had been living all this while only to be able to recount to you all of this.

But he doesn't. For he fears she may not understand. Or worse, understand too much.

Su Bin smiles. "I used to have a friend who decided she didn't want to be friends with me anymore. That day I went down to the well behind our house and peered into it. I peered into it so deeply I did not notice I was almost tipping over. I remember being pulled away abruptly, a strong grip around the neck of my shirt. My throat hurt and I was gasping as I sat on the floor. My dad had seen me and had rushed to help. Up until then I wasn't sure he knew I existed. But that day I saw him see me. Saw that he always saw me. And I thought maybe there were different kinds of love that I wasn't aware of yet."

She wanted to say, sometimes I look at you and see you seeing me. Not just acknowledging but recognizing me. It scared me at first. But now I feel free. As if my existence has been confirmed and reconfirmed and... I am not scared anymore.

But she doesn't. For she fears he may not understand. Or worse, understand too much.

They silently continue to work.

Loving someone, Young Do realizes, is a process of learning. It is a process of understanding how to love. There is no manual. He thought once people confessed their feelings for each other it was only smooth sailing from then on. But it was not so. There was so much—so much material. Checking with each other's timetables, tastes, friend circles, food habits… It was so complicated. He had so much to ask, so much to do with her—to her—but was afraid of coming off as cl