Things You Said Too Quietly.

Jaebum came home with his nearly broken legs from running around all day. He was exhausted and irritated with everything and everyone.

Youngjae was in their shared bedroom on his laptop finishing his year end research paper on different genres of music and their differences. Youngjae hadn’t had a good day today either. He got yelled at by his angry old and crusty professor for being late to his economy lecture, he couldn’t eat anything all day because he had left his wallet at home and he couldn’t eat anything at home either as their fridge was empty all because Jaebum had insisted on buying the groceries when he got home.

“It’s 10PM, hyung” Youngjae mentioned, in attempt to remind of his promise to go grocery shopping as soon as he got home.

“I know” Jaebum said in a monotone and quietly went on to change his uncomfortable suit that he hated with all his heart.

“We don’t have anything to eat” Youngjae spoke again. Although his eyes were glued to his computer, his thoughts were with Jaebum, Youngjae’s inner voice just begging Jaebum to look at him and suggest going out together.

“Okay, then order something” Jaebum replied and exited the room to have some peace of mind on the living room coach, which was the only furniture Jaebum and Youngjae both genuinely liked.

“What is up with him today” Youngjae thought to himself, following his husband with his eyes.

“Hyung I’m hungry” Youngjae whined coming into the living room in hopes of finding some food at the end of the tunnel.

“I told you to order something to eat” Jaebum irately answered. He had his eyes closed and he himself was lying on the couch trying to recharge his worn out body.

“But I want candy and everything” Youngjae pushed harder.

“Then go shopping, there are my car keys somewhere”

“But hyung, I want to go with you”

“I don’t want to” Jaebum finally opened his eyes and looked at Youngjae.

“I’m too tired. Today was a really long day” Jaebum tried to explain his situation, trying to make Youngjae understand how awfully tired he was and how much he just wanted to lie down and be in silence for a few hours.

Youngjae was disappointed and mad but looking at Jaebum’s eyes that opened and closed with such pressure as if it wasn’t a normal human body function but some type of labor Jaebum was required to do, made Youngjae realize how actually exhausted Jaebum was.

“Hyung, why do I get a feeling you hate your job?” Youngjae said and sat down next to Jaebum on the couch. Youngjae interlocked their hands and made Jaebum put his head on Youngjae’s shoulders for support.

“Because I probably do” Jaebum whispered.

“Then why do you keep doing it?” Youngjae brought his hands to Jaebum’s soft face and caressed his cheeks which Jaebum seemed to really like.

“Because I need to take care of this house, I need to take care of you” Jaebum admitted.

The thing was that everyone expected Jaebum to do almost everything in Youngjae and Jaebum’s marriage simply because he was the hyung and the only one who had a job. And all of the pressure coming from both Jaebum’s and Youngjae’s families seemed to be really affecting Jaebum’s stress level, making it go up by 140 percent per second.

“But hyung you don’t need to. I can get a job and we can both work. You don’t need to tire yourself out by doing a job you hate just for my and this huge house’s sake. We can live in a smaller apartment that costs less, I’ll find a job in my university like a professor’s assistant or something like that and we both can work hard” Youngjae tried to cheer his hyung and husband up.

“Hyung, you really don’t need to do that stupid office job” Youngjae sincerely said, bringing Jaebum’s hands to his lips.

“To be frank, I should’ve known form the first day you wore a suit to go to work” Youngjae remarked.

“I love you” Jaebum quietly whispered, too tired and worn out to speak a little louder.

“I love you, too” Youngjae whispered back, kissing Jaebum’s hands one more time.