Perhaps one of the worst things in life is this, facing someone you love and seeing that you were painfully inadequate in making them happy. While on one hand I am happy for him, it hurts. I take a deep breath and let Hyunwoo into my apartment, he’s apparently forgotten some things.

“You look like you’re not eating right again.” Hyunwoo says offhandedly as he enters my bedroom rather relaxed, like it hadn’t once been where he slept nearly every night. “Henley you need to make sure you’re eating right.” Hyunwoo starts placing things into boxes.

I let out a deep breath and nod my head, letting the comment slide, I want him gone. I don’t want to see him. I don’t need him giving me this false concern, it’s cruel, and I don’t like it. I feel my right hand twitch. Ah, perfect. Stress and stress means being restless, and the way I usually calm down is to smoke. “Just get whatever you need.” I say walking past him and picking up my pack of cigarettes. “Lock the door after you go.” I say as I head to the veranda. I wince slightly when I hear a ruckus coming from next door. “Perfect.” I mutter under my breath.

“Those things will kill you.” Hyunwoo says rather snobbishly. “It’s a terrible habit you should just kick it to the side.”

“Kinda like you did to me. Besides it isn’t like you never had that habit either.” I shoot back bitterly as I open the door and slide it shut, not bothering to listen to what he could say in return. So maybe I’m not happy for him, so maybe I’m not really in love with him anymore, and maybe I’m questioning if what I had felt had been love at all.

I’m agitated, my hands aren’t really cooperating with me. As I struggle to lite my addiction I glance to the side to see Sehun. I haven’t seen nor talked to him since I abruptly left him out here alone a couple weeks ago. It’s always like this I guess, I see him once and then a while goes by.

“You’re smoking now?” Sehun says with a confused tone. “You usually only smoke at night.” He comments easily.

I let out a content sigh as I inhale and then exhale. “You know, I wish I never met him.” I say quietly as I lean against the railing. I watch carefully to be sure Hyunwoo is really taking his things. I watch him leave after waving to me leaving with a box of thing that are indeed his. “I liked it better, I didn’t know what it felt like to be alone or rather I was content not knowing company, I didn’t smoke, and I didn’t have this sharp pain in my chest every time I thought of being alone. I smoke when I’m stressed, I get stressed when I think about him, so I smoke, but I remember him even more when I smoke.” I say bitterly as Hyunwoo waves to me and exits my apartment with his last box. “I liked it better before I knew what this empty feeling was.”

“I think you need a new addiction.” Sehun says dryly. “Let me in.”

I look over confused only to realize he’s no longer on his veranda. I blink again when I hear my doorbell. Leaving my cigarette on my ashtray I trek inside to let who I’m assuming is Sehun in. I thought he meant him, let him in and let him be the new addiction.

As I open the door and step aside Sehun steps in. Walking through my apartment to my veranda. He picks up my pack of cigarettes and the lit one, holding it up. Once outside I glance to him and to the object in his hand. His slender fingers holding up my cigarette and in his other hand my pack. “What exactly are you doing?” I ask frowning.

Sehun smirks as he passes me the cigarette. “You get one for today. I’m keeping the rest.” I look at him feeling very confused now. “If you want them you have to come and ask me for one. No buying a new pack. Make this one last.” He say showing me the already half empty pack. “If you can make it last till the end of the month, I’ll give you something special.” It’s only the beginning of the month, this does not bode well. I practically have four full weeks to get by on ten if I follow along with this little bet.

I scoff watching Sehun warily. “And why would I do that?” I ask him skeptically as I take the offered and already lit cigarette. “I don’t even really know you. Besides, if you have my cigarettes with you, won’t you get in trouble if anyone sees them?”

Sehun smirks at me, sliding the pack into his back pocket. Being this close to my neighbor is strange, to actually see him this close in person is odd. Sehun is in fact very handsome, slender, the playful smirk on his face seeming very at home. “That’d be my problem. Make what’s left last until the end of the month, and I’ll make it worth it.”

“And tell me, what’s this amazing thing I’ll get at the end of the month?” I ask him unimpressed.

Sehun chuckles as he closes in on me. The boy is tall, I’ll give him that, and gutsy. “I’ll guess it’ll depend on you.” He says after a moment. “No cheating Henley.” Sehun says leaving me stunned and walking out of my apartment.