They were naming the group, ASTRO, a Spanish word that meant “star.” The speech coach, a middle-aged woman with a stern-face and a nasal voice, was asking the members about their opinions on how to explain the origins of the moniker. The most impressive answer was going to be used as the official sound bite for interviews and press releases.  

It was Myung Jun, typically enough, who came up with something everybody thought would be appropriate.

“ASTRO because we want to be the stars in the hearts of our fans.” He punctuated his declaration with an impish wink and a V-sign which was so… Myung Jun; his happy personality present in everything he says or does.

“Daebak!” Sanha murmured, impressed with his hyung’s wit.

“Sweet,” Jinjin murmured in all his youthful swag.

It was cute, catchy, easy to remember. But most of all, especially in this era of fandom awareness, it was non-threatening - an answer that would endear them to those who have yet to be introduced to their charms. There was an excited tittering between the group members as they nodded in agreement with each other.

Notices have gone up on their Daum fancafe asking fans to contribute name options for their fan club. Since it had been posted, there were already 5000 submissions.

Rocky shifted in his seat. “Can I say that line during interviews?”

Myung Jun balked. “I thought of it so I should get to say it.”

“Or we could take turns?” Dongmin hinted at a compromise. He threw me a look, gauging my reaction to what he said. Not getting the usual encouragement from me, his eyes shifted away in disappointment.

The round table discussion about ASTRO’s future schedules was coming to an end. No Taeyoon, the group’s primary manager was passing out another round of memos for the instructors to check. I scanned the sheet quickly and, as is the usual, it contained more things to work on with the individual members. I sighed when I saw that Dongmin had the longest list of improvements needed that I had been tasked to deal with personally.

Great.

The meeting was beginning to break up. Trainers were moving away from the main tables, chairs scraping the floor as they stood up. ASTRO’s members bowed to their elders before shimmying out the doors first to head for the music room with their vocal coach. I had another hour and a half to kill before I saw them in the dance studio.

Rounding the corner I decided to use the stairs down to the lower levels, something I’ve taken to doing lately trying to avoid being stuck in an enclosed space with Dongmin. I would rather tire myself out going down those steps than be caught gasping while doing something else.

Or doing him…

I groaned. To say that the past few days had been hard would be an understatement. Dongmin’s constant presence stoked the urges that I struggled to keep at bay. It took so little to test my control. A hint of milky skin when his t-shirt lifted from the waist. A silhouette of a long, lean thigh while he stretched. And always that intense, searching gaze. It was enough for me to run to the nearest bathroom, splashing my face with cold water to try and douse the flames inside my body.

And Jinjin’s efforts to be watchful and wary only served to challenge me rather than dampen my desires for his band mate. He made sure that I never had enough alone time with Dongmin, coordinating it seemed to me with the other members so that he always had company. I couldn’t even make an attempt to broach the subject of what happened last weekend at practice.

Well, what could have happened anyways.

And so, I withdrew from him. Before a repeat of last weekend could occur, I thought it was best to keep way from Dongmin as much as I could.

I was just coming to a landing on the fifth floor when a familiar head looked up. Fate seems to have a sense of humor because it was the very person that I was trying hard to avoid who was waiting for me there.

I contemplated pretending to be absorbed by the memos in my hands and walk past him. He was a polite kid. He’ll probably think it would be rude to bother me and just let me pass. Or…

“Hyung.” A shy smile.

.

I slowed down, coming to a halt a few feet in front of him. “You should be in vocal training.” My tone was stern, flat and all business. I kept my eyes down, pretending that the papers in my hands needed more of my attention.

Dongmin started to nervously shift his weight from foot to foot. “The vocal coach usually starts with MJ and Sanha first anyways. I thought I would just –“

“You can learn just by watching too.” I flipped a page from the memo I was holding. “You should go back before anyone comes looking for you.”

And Jinjin finds us together assuming I had lured you into being here…

“Are those about me?” He tried the curiosity tact, glancing at the pages in my hands.

“They’re about everybody in the team. I have stuff to do downstairs. I’ll see you in class later.” I meant to sound curt – to discourage him from seeking me out like this again.

I made a move to go past him but his held me in place, grasping my upper arm. “Hyung. Did I do something wrong?”

I could feel the heat of his skin permeating through the material of my sweatshirt. I ached to touch him; to comfort him and tell him that the problem wasn’t with him. It was with me. It has always been me.

“Why would you say that?”

“I don’t know.” He shrugged. “Since last weekend you haven’t… well, we haven’t been spending that much time together.”

I sighed, rubbing at my temples with left hand. “You have other schedules, Dongmin.”

“I know that. It’s just that I don’t see you in any of our other training sessions anymore. I got used to you being there.”

“I have other schedules too.” I pried his hand off my arm. “Go back to class.”

“Are we still having private lessons this weekend?” He asked worrying on his lower lip until his upper teeth left divots on the plump flesh.

“I didn’t get any notice that you were to stop the lessons, so yes.”

“Okay, I guess I’ll see you at the studio later?”

“Unless they hired another choreographer without my knowledge.”

He frowned at that.

I all but sighed in relief when he turned and grasped at the doors leading back into the hallway. But before he left, he still had one question to ask.

“Hyung, if I upset you or disappointed you somehow… you would tell me, right?”

The effort it took for me not to pull him into my arms was near superhuman. I clenched my hands into fists, digging my nails into my palms because I wanted so much to grasp his face in my hands. I wanted to the lines of worry from his forehead and ease his thoughts. I wanted to reassure him that he would never ever be a source of disappointment to me.

But instead, I replied, “Dongmin, I don’t even know what you’re talking about.”

He seemed to consider my answer. He wasn’t satisfied but he had no choice but to let it go.

*********************************************

Sunday morning brunch with the family was a sedate affair with most of the household still fighting back the urge to sleep. But instead of being in bed, my mother roused us all awake at 10, declaring that since it was rare that most of her family was under one roof on a weekend we were going to eat together, whether we wanted t